At The Deep End
by naelany
Summary: After an encounter at camp many years ago Jasper thought he would never see Edward again but little did he know who his new teammate would turn out to be.......
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok, so lambcullen (who writes the amazing "Wreckage" story**) **finally talked me into trying my hand at this. I bow down to her for many reasons. **

**Thanks to both lambcullen and Shelly303, my beta-fish ^_~.**

**Ok... here goes nothing! Hope you enjoy.  
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**disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

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JPOV

The sound of my whistle pierced the air once.

"Go!"

I smiled as I watched the kids jump into the water at the same time. Feet first, of course, some holding their noses and scrunching their eyes shut as they hit the water. They quickly resurfaced and treaded water as they held out their arms for balance.

"Well done! Keep treading water until I blow my whistle, then swim to the other side of the pool and climb out. Carefully and one by one. No pushing!"

I shot a stern look to the blond haired boy on the far right, James. Always the trouble maker, he scowled for a moment before concentrating on treading water. I nodded once and let my eyes roam over the rest of my class. I had four girls, five boys, all between 9 and 12 years of age. They'd made remarkable progress during the last month. It was my first month as their teacher; my first month in town, as a matter of fact.

I thought back to my first week here. My father had had to relocate us once again, this time to Seattle. It happened every few years, due to his work. I know I was old enough to go it alone by now. I was in my twenties after all, but I chose to move with my family. We were close, and it was never boring. My sister Rose had moved with us as well.

One thing I always did upon moving to a new place, was search out the swimming hall and join the swimming club. I volunteer my time as a swimming teacher for kids, and usually end up as a life guard, too. And for fun, there is always water polo, whenever I can find a club that has a team.

This time, I lucked out as the club I found had it all. After I was done with the kids, I'd have to hurry and get ready for training. I was only subbing this particular class until their usual guy came back from some conference or other. I looked at the clock and blew my whistle, chuckling softly as I watched the kids scurry to the side of the pool and climb out one by one.

"Alright kids, shower time! No running!" I shook my head as they grabbed their stuff and walked to the locker rooms.

I followed after them, since I needed to put away my uniform and grab my swimming trunks.

"Emmett, man... please tell me you're early." I said, looking at the big guy as he walked out of the showers. He stood several inches taller then me and he was very muscular. His cropped brown hair was plastered to his head and he looked already set to start training. He grinned and shook his head.

"Nah, man, you're running late today! Better hustle, Cullen'll be here today. He's already changed and grabbing gear, I think." His voice practically boomed and bounced off the walls. _Didn't anyone ever teach him the concept of an indoor voice?_

"Great... " I replied, as I hurried through the shower, pulled on my trunks and walked back into the swimming hall. The rest of the team seemed to be there already. This was a mixed team, and I'd learned quickly to never underestimate the girls. I gave a small wave to them as I walked over to Emmett. I heard the girls giggle and rolled my eyes. Never failed. Whereever I went, there were bound to be some heads that turned. I smirked at Emmett who gave me a knowing smirk before he turned to look for someone across the pool.

I followed his gaze and saw a tall guy walk out of the storage room with the bag of balls we used for training. I frowned as I looked him over. He seemed familiar, but I couldn't place him. His bronze hair was plastered to his face, making it hard to really get a good look at it. He was muscular but lean; a typical swimmers' physique, pretty much like myself really.

"Cullen! Good to have you back man." I heard Emmett roar.

He looked up at the sound of his name and grinned as he saw Emmett. His eyes were bright and his face seemed to light up as he smiled.

"Hey man. It's good to be back, I hate going to those conferences. I'd much rather be here playing with you guys.". His voice, though it carried across the pool easily, was velvet smooth and warm.

He snickered and then looked at me. His green eyes flickered with some emotion, but I couldn't tell what.

"Looks like we've got some fresh meat. Who's the new guy, Em?"

He seemed a little weary, but I had no idea why. Those eyes never left mine, and I felt goose bumps all over me as I stared back. _Those eyes... so familiar.... _I let my gaze roam over him again, taking in every feature from his hair, to his eyes, to his angular jaw and down his torso. When I reached his groin, I snapped my eyes back to his. _No way... that can't be him, just someone that looks like him, that's all.. _

flashback

_We were laughing and talking about the training we'd just had. We all came from different parts of the country, some even came from overseas. A camp, if you could call it that, for water polo. I finally got to go that year. I was 16, gangly but good looking, and a little cocky. We were all in the shower, getting ready for dinner after training as usual. Some of the guys had, over the last few days, made jokes about who they'd made out with. We were all the same age, and by the sound of it, we'd all had our fair share of girls. _

_That night, after dinner, and back in our cabin, the subject had come up again. One of the guys, Laurent, had smuggled in a bottle of whiskey and dared us to have a drink. __So we did, and it __started a truth or dare game. Laurent and Mike both came from New York. At that point, I lived in Houston, Texas. The other guy, Edward, _ _a lanky boy with bronze colored hair and vivid green eyes__,__ which were hidden behind black rimmed spectacles, was from Chicago. _

_I never thought I'd see any of them again. Ever. So I decided to play the game. What did it matter, right? I'd never see them again, so there would be no need to feel awkward or embarrassed. We'd gotten pretty drunk as the game went on. I'd so far been pretty good and chosen truth. The dares had been pretty tame for the most part. Laurent had been dared to sneak into the supervisor's office and steal his whistle. Mike __was told __to strip and run to the pool house and back. Edward had also gone for truth. We'd been sitting next to each other, and it felt like electricity was building in the space between us. It was both tantalizing and a little frightening. _

_It was Edward's turn._

_"Dare." he said this time._

_Laurent looked from Edward to me, a sly grin forming on his lips "Dare__?__.. ok... I dare you to kiss Jazz here... full on the lips... with tongue.". _

_I don't know who looked more __shocked; me or Edward. We stared at each other __for a moment. I wasn't sure whether I wanted him to take the dare or not._

_"Ok..." Edward nodded to Laurent, then turned to me slowly. I swallowed, feeling nervous and more excited than I'd ever be willing to admit, at the prospect of him kissing me. He leaned forward and put his right hand on my neck, slowly pulling me to him, as he slid it to the back of my head. My eyes were locked on his as he put his lips to mine. I gasped slightly at the jolt that seemed to go through __me when our lips touched. His eyes widened a little and then closed. His lips began slowly moving against mine. I couldn't help myself and I deepened the kiss, the sensation of electricity coursing through me increased __and I sucked his bottom lip gently, eliciting a soft moan from him. _

_I did a mental happy dance at the sound of his moan. _I'd_ done that..._

_Laurent and Mike were forgotten as he traced my lips with his tongue, asking for entrance. Closing my eyes, I opened my mouth and slid my tongue into his, our tongues languidly caressing each other for what seemed like hours before we both had to come up for air. I could taste the whiskey and something that was solely Edward as we kissed. _

"Cullen, this is Jasper." Emmett said snapping me out of my trance. " He just moved here... where from again, bro?"

He turned to look at me and I shook my head slightly as I answered "California.".

"California, you say..." Edward sounded almost puzzled but just shrugged and put down the bag he'd been holding.

"Well, welcome to the team, Jasper". He smiled and nodded, though his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Thanks." I muttered. He looked at me for a second longer and then turned his attention to the team.

"OK guys!" He shouted, as the girls muttered. He grinned at them and winked, which made them giggle. Bella and Alice were definitely girls in every aspect, especially their behaviour and appearance. But in the water, you'd never know it. They gave everyone a run for their money. I had yet to see anyone catch up to Alice when she had the ball. Bella was a little clumsy on land but was in her element in the water.

"Let's get started." I heard Edward say, and I turned my attention back to him.

The training consisted of the usual stuff. Stamina was our focus, we had to swim back and forth as quick and as often as we could down the width of the pool. I tried to not think about anything other than the task at hand. I wasn't successful, and my mind went back to a few hours after that kiss.

_It was dark in our cabin. Everyone had gone to bed. I could hear Laurent's breathing even out and Mike's soft snores as he too, fell asleep. Everything was quiet. And yet I could not fall asleep __because my mind had gone over that kiss again and again. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes; another vain attempt to sleep. Suddenly, __I felt my blanket being lifted and a weight on my mattress, as someone slid into bed with me. My eyes snapped open; I was about to say something when I felt a hand over my mouth, and a whisper at my ear. _

_That same feeling of electricity was there again, and I knew it was him. Edward's breath caressed my ear as he spoke "Shh, it's just me... I couldn't sleep either..."_

_He was leaning on his arm as he looked at me, the hand covering my mouth began tracing my jaw. I turned my head and whispered "I can't stop thinking about..." _

_He nodded and leaned down, his lips gently brushing over mine. My breathing sped up and my mind seemed to stutter to a halt. _

_"Me neither. I don't know why, but I can't get you out of my head." _

_He kissed me again, his tongue tracing my lips slowly. I turned my head slightly and sucked his tongue into my mouth gently. I could feel his hand move down from my jaw to my neck and _ _to my chest. I'm sure he could feel my heart pounding like crazy. _

I heard the whistle blow; the memory disappeared, and I stopped swimming to look at Edward. He had Emmett help him put the goal up and throw the balls into the water. Emmett took goal and we all had to try and shoot the balls past him. Emmett was good and blocked most of our attempts. My head wasn't with it though, and subsequently my attempts to shoot a goal were easily thwarted.

We each took turns, one after the other, so it was easy to watch Edward as he went through the motions of the exercise. I made sure to not get too close to him. Even so, I could feel my skin cover in goose bumps again as I saw his muscles ripple with every move he made and the water trickle down his shoulders. Once or twice I noticed him shooting furtive glances my way, and I would quickly turn my head and take a few strokes to go further in line. I shivered slightly as my mind wandered again to that night.

_Edward's fingers trailed over my chest in a small figure eight, grazing over my nipples lightly. I moaned into the kiss as my body responded to him in ways I had never responded to a boy. It felt like my skin was on fire __each time __he touched me, the longer we kissed._

_My cock twitched as he took one of my nipples between his fingers and rolled it gently. I couldn't supress another moan, and I slid my hand to his neck. I opened my eyes to find his locked on mine, searching__, as I let my hand glide down his back slowly; my eyes never leaving his. We were both questioning silently, our hands moving tentatively over the other's body. When my hand reached the small of his back, I paused, realizing that he was not wearing any clothes, and for the first time I let my eyes __wander down his body. _

_I took in every inch I could see in the darkness, his chest moving__ with his ragged breathing. His cock stood at attention, his tip glistening slightly __with his arousal. __My eyes flickered back up to his, questioning._

_"Have you ever..." he whispered._

_I knew what he was asking and I shook my head "No....". _

_Our __eyes were locked together and my hand __had slid to his thigh, my thumb was rubbing it soothingly. I'm not sure who the gesture was for. Was I trying to sooth him, or my own nerves? I could feel his hand slowly trail down my chest as he came to rest just above my pelvis. _

"Hey.. Jasper!" I heard Bella call, at the same time I felt a ball bounce off of my head.

"Ow, hey!" I glared at Emmett, who just grinned and shrugged.

"Jasper?" I heard her again. I turned to her, treading water to stay afloat.

"What, Bella?" I shook my head slightly, in part to shake off the memories, and because Emmett had hit me hard.

She giggled. "You ok there, handsome?"

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine. Just got a lot on my mind, I guess."

I shot her an apologetic look and sighed. I watched as the others climbed out of the pool; Emmett and Edward pulled out the goal and placed it back in its spot. Bella began rounding up the balls and tossing them hard at Emmett and Edward with a wicked grin on her face. I chuckled and decided to join in on the fun. After all, we needed to put the balls away didn't we? Plus, I owed Emmett for that one to the head just now.

"Knock it off guys!" Edward glared at us, as he gathered the balls up into the net and hauled them back to the storage closet. We climbed out of the pool and I quickly went to the locker room. I wanted to get out of here, and fast. Those memories were still fresh in my mind and I did not want to be the butt end of Emmett's jokes once he noticed the resulting... problem. And he would notice. He always did.

How I managed to get showered, changed and on my way as quickly as I did, I'll never know. I am grateful, however, that I managed to do so without having to meet Emmett or Edward. _It can't be the same guy.... The Edward you knew was from Chicago. It's just a coincidence. _I kept telling myself this as I secured my bag over my shoulder and grabbed my bike. It'd be good to pedal home, maybe get the... frustration.... worked out. I grumbled slightly and had to adjust myself before I was able to get on the bike and get going. _Those eyes though..... _I shook my head to clear my thoughts and focused on traffic, going as fast as I could on my bike. I made it home in record time. I put my bike in the garage and walked into the kitchen.

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to leave reviews. Just one thing. If you can't play nice, stay out of the game ^_~. This is for fun, after all ^_^.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to my wonderful beta fish ****lambcullen and Shelly303! I heart you both ^_^.**

**I don't own Twilight, obviously. It seems though, the boys do own me ^_~**

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EPOV

_Damn, I'm late.... _

I had rushed home from the airport, to grab my swimming gear and hopefully make it to my class on time. I'd missed the last month with the kids at the pool, thanks to back to back conferences. I hated going to those things, but they were part of what I'd signed up for. Well, mostly. I may be working for the family company, but I still had to keep up to date on what went on in the computer business, living up to my Father's expectations. Cullen or no, it was important to stay ahead of the game. So I'd gone to San Diego for two weeks, followed by a conference for the swimming club. All the clubs that worked together for competitions, teaching standards and all that fun stuff sent a representative to them. This year, I was voted to go and I ended up away from the kids for 4 weeks. I was never so glad to come home as I was now. But, if I didn't hurry to the pool, I was going to be too late. I'd have to wait until next week before seeing my class again.

I growled softly, stuffing my water polo trunks into my bag as well as my flip flops and towels. At least I could make it to training tonight. I grabbed my bag and headed out the door, locking it behind me. Jumping into my car, I smiled at the thought of seeing the team again and getting some of this pent up energy out of my system.

As I drove up to the swimming hall, I saw Tyler walk up and honked the horn as I parked into the first available space.

"Cullen!" He yelled.

I chuckled and waved as I walked up to him.

"Hey man, how's it going?"

"Good... missed ya man, team's not the same without you." He grinned at me and held his fist out to me in greeting. I bumped it with mine before we headed in.

I went straight to the locker room to shower and change, leaving Tyler behind. I loved coming here because of the feeling of comradery that the team shared. I knew Emmett had been taking care of the training sessions, but it'd be nice to get back in there. I hurried up and changed into my trunks after I was done in the shower, slipped on my flip flops and walked into the hall. I could see a few stragglers from the class I'd just missed and nodded in greeting to a few of them. I noticed what looked to be a new guy who I didn't recognize, I didn't pay too much attention to him and headed to the storage closet to grab the balls we'd need for training.

I could hear the girls giggling as I was walking out with the net of balls slung over my back and heard Emmett calling my name.

"Cullen! Good to have you back man."

I looked up and grinned at him. "Hey man. It's good to be back, I hate going to those conferences. I'd much rather be here training with you guys."

I snickered and looked at the guy standing next to him, the new guy. _Well fuck me..... _I was taken aback by the feeling of _knowing _him, _really_ knowing him.

"Looks like we've got some fresh meat. Who's the new guy, Em?"

Do _I know this guy? He looks familiar, but... _ I looked at him, and it almost felt like you could drown in the blue-green of his eyes; I _wanted_ to drown in them. _I know those eyes...._ I shivered a little as his eyes raked over my body.

"Cullen, this is Jasper. He just moved here... where from again, bro?"

Emmett turned to look at him and he shook his head slightly as he answered, "California.". His voice had a definite Texan drawl to it, which confused me.

"California, you say..." I sounded almost puzzled, even to my own ears.

I shrugged and put down the bag I'd been holding.

"Well, welcome to the team, Jasper.". I smiled slightly and nodded.

"Thanks." He muttered as he ran his fingers through his hair. The gesture seemed oddly familiar somehow.

I looked at him for a second longer as I tried to place him, but when I couldn't, I turned my attention to the team.

'Ok guys... ", I could hear the girls grumble. I grinned at them and gave them a sexy wink, making them giggle more.

"Let's get started.".

As we were going about our training, I kept looking at Jasper. There was something there, tugging at my memories. I could almost feel it as I took in his honey blonde hair and the lean muscles on his back. Like me, he had a swimmer's body; broad shoulders that tapered to a narrow waist. I could feel my body coming to life and I had to pause for a moment to will my growing erection away.

_Stop that right now. It's not like you're going to be able to do anything about it anyway, not after last time.__ Besides, you __don't even know him, or do you?_

I couldn't shake that feeling of familiarity whenever I looked at him. I sighed and blew the whistle to change our routine. I climbed out of the pool and had Emmett help me put the goal up. We started shooting at the goal while Emmett tried to defend it. I kept glancing at Jasper, trying to figure out why I was feeling like I knew him. He caught me staring a few times and would always quickly move away. _I'm pretty sure he's not interested..._

When it was time to stop, I blew the whistle again and everyone started to get out of the pool but Jasper. He didn't seem to have heard it. He looked lost in thought as Bella tried to get his attention.

"Hey...Jasper?"

I shrugged and couldn't help but smirk when I saw Emmett throw a ball at Jasper's head. As per his usual, Emmett hit the mark and I heard Jasper yell out. He glared at Emmett before turning to Bella.

"What, Bella?" He shook his head, and I was pretty sure that it hurt. Emmett had a mean throw.

She giggled "You ok there, handsome?"

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine. Just got a lot on my mind, I guess." I heard him say, and he sounded a little off.

I motioned for Emmett to help me with the goal, which we put back in place. All of a sudden we were pelted with balls by Bella and Jasper, who both had mischievous looks on their faces.

"Knock it off guys!" I glared at them, as I gathered the balls up into the net and hauled them back to the storage closet. _I wonder why he seemed so preoccupied...._

I took my time putting everything away and took my shower. I kept seeing Jasper in my mind's eye and I allowed my thoughts to wander as I let the water relax my muscles. _Why is he so familiar...?_ I saw his eyes again, they'd seemed troubled. _What is with him. More to the point, why do I even _care_? I only met the guy today._ Rubbing my hands over my face I decided it was time to just get dressed and go home. It had been a long day and I was ready to just call it a night.

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_Damnit._ I rolled over to my right side and looked at the clock. 2.30am. I hadn't been able to sleep very well, constantly waking up. The few times I had drifted off to sleep, I'd been dreaming. The dreams felt like a memory; one that kept flitting away, almost as if it were dancing around my peripheral vision. It was starting to annoy the crap out of me, to be honest and it sure as hell wasn't doing anything for my sleep.

I rolled over to my other side again, my head resting on my arm as I tried to relax my body and my mind. I needed to get some sleep, since tomorrow would be my first day back at work. I finally was able to fall asleep after a while and started dreaming again.

_I was in the shower along with the other guys. Laurent? Mike? _

_We were having dinner in the cafeteria, laughing and talking about what we'd gone through so far that week. Camp was fun and we'd learned a few new moves to try out when we got home. _

_The guys talking about the girls they'd kissed, who had gone "all the way"_ _yet. I didn't say much._

_We were in our cabin at night, and Laurent dared us to drink the whiskey he'd smuggled in. _

_Mike streaking across the lot, drunk._

*Beep!Beep!Beep!*

I shot straight up at the sound of my alarm, my heart hammering _Camp? I haven't thought about that in forever. Why would I be dreaming about that now?_

I struggled to free myself of the covers I'd managed to tangle myself into and turned off the incessant beeping of my alarm. Rubbing my eyes, I tried to remember more about what I had been dreaming about that night, but it all seemed to slip away. I gave up trying and got up to take a shower and get dressed. I needed to hurry, as there was a lot on the agenda today.

I was so busy with meetings and catching up on E-mails and other things that had built up during my absence, that the day just flew by. I hardly had a spare moment to myself, let alone to think about anything that wasn't work. I was exhausted by the time I made it home that night. I loved working for my Dad, and I loved being an IT tech, but at times I wish I were doing something else. That was partially why I loved volunteering at the swimming club. It was part of our company outreach to volunteer our time to the community and the club was my chosen venue. It balanced my life out nicely, since teaching the kids was done on company time. _I need to remember to thank Mom for making that suggestion _I smiled and put the bag of Chinese take out on the coffee table.

I flipped the TV on to college ball. UW Huskies vs Oregon Ducks. _Well, guess we all know who's winning that one._ I sighed as I sat down after grabbing my Porter beer, putting my feet up on the table and grabbing my take out. I watched the game until halftime, when it became painfully obvious that the Huskies would not be bouncing back. _Yep. Called that one...._ I sighed and turned off the TV, got up and put the trash away.

I sat at my desk and began to draw up the lesson plan for the next week. My mind kept wandering back to Jasper and I pinched bridge of my nose in frustration. _Why is that guy so damn familiar?_

I finished the lesson plan and the training plan for the team before calling it a night. _God, I hope I get more sleep than I did last night.... I'm exhausted. _I crawled into bed after putting my clothes in the hamper, turned off the light and fell asleep quickly.

_Laurent daring us to drink whiskey. _

_Mike streaking across the lot, drunk._

_Jazz sitting next to me. _

_Watching him as he answers his Truths; feeling a pull to him. _

_Laurent daring me to kiss Jazz. _

"Jazz...??" I mumble as that last memory wakes me up. I blinked, trying to focus my thoughts. And then the memory came back to me fully. I put my hands over my eyes as I remembered that night.

_He seemed so nervous, but also excited. I felt both a little scared and a lot hopeful. I'd not come out yet, and hadn't been with many boys. I was still a little unsure of myself, but the excitement I saw on Jazz's face made me bolder. I leaned in to kiss him, tentatively at first. I could feel a shock go through me as I touched his lips and it seemed to set my nerves on fire. My eyes widened, and I was sure that he had felt it, too. _

_And then he sucked on my lip. Oh God, that felt good;__ it shot straight down to my groin. I groaned at the sensation and Jazz deepened the kiss as our tongues danced with each other. Laurent and Mike had long been forgotten, and I relished the kiss with Jazz. We went to bed not long after, but I couldn't stop thinking about him. _

I was getting hard just thinking about it.

_I waited for the others to fall asleep before I went to his bed and crawled in next to him, naked. I covered his mouth quickly "__Shh, it's just me... I couldn't sleep either..."_

_I couldn't help myself and kissed him again. That same feeling of electricity went through me, intensifying, building inside me. I was slowly tracing my fingers from his jaw down to his chest, making lazy figure eights. I pinched his nipple and could feel him respond to my touch. I could feel the moan he let out send shivers down my spine._

_I kept my eyes on his, wondering if he wanted more, like I did. I felt a thrill go through me as his hand started to slowly trace down to rest on the small of my back. I saw his eyes move down my body as he took in my naked form. My arousal was all too plain to see. I wanted him, more then I'd ever wanted anyone, but I was still a little scared. _

_"Have you ever..." I whispered. _

_He cut me off and said "No."._

_His hand moved to my hip as he started to rub soothing circles with his thumb. I could tell he was nervous, too. I slowly let my hand move downward and rested it just above his pelvis. I leaned forward and brushed my lips against him once more. I whispered "Tell me to stop, and I will..."._ _I kept my eyes on his the entire time, watching for any hint of him wanting to stop. I found none.__ This time, he traced his tongue over my lips, asking for entrance. I eagerly let him enter, his tongue caressing mine._

_I moaned softly into the kiss as I felt the back of his hand brush against my length. I took it as my cue to go further and let my fingers curl around his shaft. His eyes rolled back slightly and he moaned softly. I tilted my head a little to deepen the kiss as I began to stroke his cock. I could feel it harden under my touch as I increased the pressure. _

_He circled his thumb over my head, spreading the pre cum before grabbing my erection. I broke away from the kiss and rested my __forehead against his, my breathing starting to increase_. _My __eyes stayed on his as I let go of him and traced my fingers down his shaft to his balls. I kneaded them gently for a moment before moving my hand back up to the tip of his cock. I mimicked him and circled it with my thumb. Then I curled my fingers around his length_ _again, resuming my earlier ministrations. _

_I could hear his breathing speed up along with my own. We were keeping pace with each other, sometimes grabbing harder, then twisting our wrists slightly. Other times we'd be gentler, slower, and then we'd speed up again. The entire time I could feel the tension building inside me. I'd done this before, but it had never felt this intense, this good._ _My whole body felt like it was on fire, and I didn't want this to stop. _

_I could feel it coming though. My muscles started to tense and I gasped "Jazz..". And then it felt like something exploded inside of me. __I grunted as I came hard while Jazz continued to stroke me. It took everything __for me to keep moving my hand as I came, but I wanted him_ _with me. It took several more strokes and then I felt him spasm as he let out a breathy "Oh God....". I felt his warm cum shoot against my stomach and I pressed my lips to his and kissed him hungrily._

I rubbed my eyes and let out a deep breath. "Oh God... Jazz?" _That can't be him.... can it?_

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**A/N: Again, ****if you can't play nice, stay out of the game ^_~. This is for fun, after all ^_^. I do appreciate your reviews and will try to reply to everyone. I hope you are enjoying this story as much as I am!  
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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to both lambcullen and Isabella303 (the beta fish formerly known as Shelly303), my beta-fish ^_~.**

**I do not own Twilight. I just enjoy throwing my boys into the deep end and see if they sink or swim ^_~**

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JPOV

It had been the week from hell. There was of course more training. Two days, in fact. On the second night we all decided to go grab something to eat in the cafeteria afterward. I still felt on edge, but tried to hide it. Everyone was in good spirits and talking about an upcoming game. After we'd sat for a while, we all headed home. I'm sure that there'd been a lot of talk, both about the game and just stuff in general, but I couldn't tell you what was said. I was both trying to not look, and steal glances at Edward. And then there was of course the hours spent teaching, where I did more of the same. Not wanting to look, but being drawn to him all the same.

I just could not stop thinking about that night at camp, or Edward. I still wasn't sure if it was the same Edward or not, but I wasn't about to go up to him and ask. That would be way too embarassing, either way you cut it. He hadn't said anything about it either, so I just tried to ignore it. Pretend like nothing was wrong... well, nothing _was_ wrong, really. Unless by wrong you mean my fantasies going into overdrive; fantasies that had starred Edward more times than I was willing to admit, even to myself.

I shot surreptitious glances his way constantly. He was the teacher I had been subbing for and he was now standing on the side of the pool, trying to explain the rules of the exercise to the kids. I was also on the side, but on the opposite end of the pool. We were in the deep end this time, so two of us would stay on the side, and there would be 3 helpers in the water.

"Ok, listen up!" Edward shouted at the kids as they treaded water and listened.

"We placed small, colored bags on the bottom of the pool. The objective is to retrieve all the bags that are the color we give you. You will place them on the side as you get them. Only grab _one_ at a time. You are not allowed to grab more than one at a time, nor are you allowed to grab other colors. Who ever gets theirs first, wins a prize. There will be 5 bags per person."

He looked at each and every kid as he spoke.

"Do you understand what you're supposed to do?" They all shouted "Yes, sir!".

"Alright then. You may begin when I blow the whistle."

He nodded to the helpers in the water and then looked at me, making sure we were ready as well. I nodded and heard the whistle blow.

I watched the boys go under straight away, excited to be diving. The girls were a little slower and I chuckled slightly at the difference of approach.

I glanced at Edward again; he was watching me. He nodded and smirked as the first bags started to appear on the side. The helpers were trying to keep up with the kids, but it was difficult. I looked down and frowned. I knew there were 9 kids, and I scanned the side of the pool... only 8 colors. I looked down again; my heart beat increasing as I noticed something on the bottom as James popped up, his eyes wild. He opened his mouth to say something, but I'd already kicked my flip flops off and dove in, because something was very wrong. I pushed down to the bottom and saw Jessica, her small body limp and unmoving. I grabbed her and pulled her up. As soon as we broke the surface of the water, I checked her breathing. Nothing.

"Damnit..." I checked for a pulse and found her faint heartbeat. _Good, that's something_... I put my mouth to hers and gave a quick breath before swimming to the side of the pool.

Edward was already waiting; his face a mask of control, but his eyes flickered from the girl to me. Worry clear in them. He nodded once as he took Jessica from me and proceeded to again check for breath and pulse. I pulled myself out of the pool and went to her side.

"Anything?" I murmured.

"She's still not breathing, but her heart's still going... for now." He said in a low voice.

Two of the helpers had gotten the other kids out of the pool and huddled them to the showers. They didn't need to be here. Only James was left now and he stood a few feet from us, hugging himself, his eyes frantic as he watched us give her CPR. One of the helpers was on the phone with 911 and I heard James begin to sniffle, his teeth were chattering as he kept saying "Is she gonna be ok? I didn't mean to.... " Over and over again. Neither of us spared him any time though, as we focused on getting the girl to breathe again. I could not lose her; I couldn't allow another to die. The air between Edward and I seemed to crackle, but I had to concentrate on the girl.

Jessica suddenly started to cough and spit up water. Edward gave a shuddering sigh of relief as he looked at me, my own relief clear on my face. I blinked quickly to prevent the tears that were threatening from falling. I murmured to her and stroked her hair out of her face as her eyes fluttered open "You're going to be ok, Jessica".

I tried to smile at her and then looked back at Edward, who had gotten up and was kneeling in front of James.

"James... what happened?"

James looked at him with fear still in his eyes "I'm sorry.... I was just playing. I didn't mean to...."

"Didn't mean what, James." Edward interrupted. " What did you do to Jessica?"

I could hear the barely controlled anger in his voice, and saw him clench and unclench his hands into fists. I looked back to Jessica, making sure she was still breathing. I heard the doors to the hall open and the paramedics come in. I stood up and stepped aside as they assessed the situation and quickly put her on the gurney.

I gave the paramedics her emergency details and I turned my attention back to James, stepping behind Edward and crossing my arms. Half in an attempt to not start shaking the boy, and half to hold myself together and keep the memories at bay. I'd deal with those later. Right now I was needed here.

"....held her shoulder... but she started to panic and ...." I heard James try and explain, as he shuddered and drew in a deep breath.

"I thought she was just trying to get free, playing along....but when I let her go, she'd stopped....."

He looked from Edward up to me and back again, tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry.....".

I heard Edward take a deep breath before answering him. "James. That was a very, very dangerous thing to do. Jessica could have died. She almost did. You know better than this, don't you?"

He looked at James, his jaw clenching slightly. "We've been over the rules and the reasons behind them many times, James. Haven't we?"

The boy nodded quietly.

"We're going to talk with your dad as soon as he gets here, and discuss what happens next. And I think we need to talk to Jessica and her mom as well."

James' eyes bulged with panic, but he just nodded his ascent. "Now, shower, get dressed and come straight back in here when you're done. Ok?"

A very timid "Yes, sir" came from him as he walked off, his shoulders slumped.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Thank you." He opened his eyes as he stood back up looking at me. The careful mask of control slipping now that the emergency was over, relief, anxiety and anger all plainly showing in his eyes.

"If you hadn't reacted as swiftly as you did....." he let the sentence trail off, shaking his head slowly.

We both knew what the consequences would have been. I nodded and shivered, the feeling of something... still flowing between us. I shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other and he tilted his head slightly, frowning. I watched as he rubbed his arm gently, and I noticed he had goose bumps. I cleared my throat and said, "I'll just.... go gather the rest of the bags and clean up, so we can get ready for training?"

It came out as a question and Edward nodded.

"I'm going to go wait for James' dad. I'll send one of the helpers back in to give you a hand." he said.

He walked out of the hall, closing the door behind him, a look of resignation and anger on his face. I grabbed the basket and put it at the side of the pool. As soon as I heard the door open again and saw the helpers come in, I dove into the water. Glad to feel the water surround me, a feeling of peace washed over me as I gathered the remaining bags from the bottom of the pool. I tossed them into the basket and crawled onto the side. I sat for a moment, resting my head in my hands, pulling my knees up to my chest. I closed my eyes and tried to relax myself and not dwell on the feelings of trepidation that lingered.

After a minute, I pulled myself together and grabbed the basket. I walked to the storage closet and put it in its place. Just then, Emmett and Bella walked up to me, both frowning slightly.

"Jasper, are you ok?" I looked at Bella and nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be fine.... I take it you heard what happened?"

Emmett spoke up "Yeah bro, we saw Edward talking to James's dad. They both looked pissed. I know that the kid was wrong and all, but with how his dad looked, I feel kind of bad for him. It wasn't looking pretty and the kid looked scared to death..."

I just scowled at him, and Bella added, "Vanessa came up to us and explained what had happened. She said that Jessica's mom had called back to let us know that she's doing fine, but they're keeping her overnight just in case."

"Vanessa?" I asked. I still hadn't learned all the names of the helpers yet, as they rotated frequently.

"Yeah, she said she was the one to call 911?"

"Ahh, ok.... I'm glad that Jessica's doing ok. Thanks for letting me know."

Bella nodded and walked up to me, I smiled at her and she reached her arms around to give me a hug. I gladly accepted and returned it, whispering "Thank you. I'm ok, promise."

She gave a tentative smile as she let me go.

I sighed and said "Ok, I need to go change into my training trunks, I'll be right back... just go and start without me."

I hurried into the locker room; showered, changed and went back for the session.

Edward was following right behind me. I had not noticed him in there at all, but I had been preoccupied.

Emmett had started everyone off with the stamina exercises we'd done before. I jumped in and lost myself in the work out. After about 5 minutes, Edward blew his whistle and had us pair off to throw a ball back and forth. We started off about 2 feet apart and then had to go further and further apart from each other. I ended up paired with Edward, much to my chagrin. I couldn't very well try and ignore him when I was forced to pay attention to his every move. I tried to just focus on what we were supposed to be doing, and for once I was able to do just that. My mind was still working through what had happened earlier. I went through the paces of the session, paying minimal attention, and was almost surprised when our time was up. Edward started to gather the balls, and I went to help him. Neither of us said anything. The rest of the team left us alone, figuring we needed to talk about what we had just experienced.

Edward lingered in the storage closet for a while. I wanted to go in because the tension that I always felt was still there. It was always there, confusing me.

"Do you need help with anything else, Edward?" I asked.

"No, that's ok. I'm just going to check on some stuff in here, make sure we've got everything we need for the game next week."

"Ok man..." I walked into the locker room, leaving him to his task.

Everyone had already left, so I had the shower to myself. I grabbed my towel from my bag, with soap and shampoo and hit the showers. I pulled my swimming trunks off and rinsed them before tossing them aside. Grabbing the shampoo I put a dollop on my hand, lathered it up and started to wash my hair. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes, my mind going back to earlier in the afternoon, as I was trying to get to Jessica. As focused as I was at the task at hand, I couldn't help but think back to Brendan....my best friend. _God, I miss you...._

I rinsed my hair and put my face under the shower head, letting my silent tears mingle with the water.

_At least Jessica's ok. You got to her in time..... Enough! You did what you had to do._

I sighed and rested my forehead against the cold tiles as I tried to compose myself, letting the hot water cascade over me.

_Thank God for large water heaters._

I chuckled softly at myself and shook my head. I started to lather up my arms and my chest, when suddenly, I felt my skin tingle. Before I could turn around, I felt a body press into my back, pushing me against the wall. The coldness of the tiles was shocking and I felt my nipples stiffen as I let out a gasp. I saw an arm on either side of me pressed against it as well, encasing me. I knew it was him. The one person that had tortured me with his looks, his scent, his whole being, since the moment he had come back into my life. That same electricity sparked between our bodies again, and even after all this time, I knew. I could feel Edward's hard on pressing against my ass, as I heard him whisper huskily in my ear "Care to play another round of Truth Or Dare?".

I froze.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **** Thanks as always, to both lambcullen and Isabella303, my wonderful beta-fish ^_~. I heart you for keeping me afloat. ^_^**

**Thanks for reading and for taking the time to review. It has me flying high whenever I get one. Thank you also, for pointing out stuff to me. I try to keep things as "real" as I can, but I will allow myself artistic license. Yes, I Google. Unfortunately, I've never been known for my Google-fu ^_~. But since this is fiction, I figure that nothing I say here will alter lives drastically. ^_~. That said, it might alter a few moments of your time. Enjoy Edward's take on things! ^_~**

**As always (and oh, how I wish I could claim otherwise lol), I do not own Twilight. But boy, I would love to be a fly on the walls of the New Moon set these days ^_~**

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EPOV

It had been 6 days since I first saw Jasper. Well, since I saw him again, anyway. And I was certain now, that it _was_ him. The shock of recognizing him, of remembering what happened between us at camp, still hadn't completely worn off. I was not sure what I was feeling anymore. My emotions have been all over the map.

_He's changed a bit over the years. _Obviously. I mean, fuck, 10 years does a lot, especially since we were only 16 at the time. _He certainly does look good. _I sighed and glanced over at him again. It was just before training and Jasper stood to the side. He looked lost in thought and I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking about.

My jaw clenched at that and anger flashed through me. _10 Years_._ I haven't heard from him in 10 fucking years! And now he's here, as if nothing ever happened. _I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, thinking back again.

_We lay in bed together for a while after that first time. Just talking about anything and everything but what had happened. Our fingers trailing over the other's body. It felt nice and I was relaxed and happy. Whatever this feeling was, this electricity between us, I knew it was special. I had never felt anything remotely like it. I watched Jazz carefully, and he seemed happy, too. I smiled at him and brushed my lips against his. He let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, I thought I saw a flicker of an emotion I couldn't quite place. Was it doubt, pain, remorse? It was gone almost as quick as it came and he smiled at me. _

_He murmured against my lips. "I think we should try and get some sleep." He kissed me tenderly for the briefest moment and I sighed._

_"Yeah.....I suppose we should." I couldn't help but pout a little at the thought of leaving his bed._

_He chuckled softly as he nudged my side._

_"Goodnight, Edward."_

_"Sweet dreams, Jazz." I chuckled softly, gave him one last kiss, climbed out of his bed and crawled into mine._

"Edward, bro! You with us, or what?" Emmett put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me, a slight frown marring his brow with concern. He could tell something was off.

"What? Oh, yeah. Sorry, daydreaming, I guess." I smiled wanly at him, silently thanking him for his concern. I wasn't quite ready to talk to anyone about what was on my mind though. Not even with one of my best friends.

Training went by quickly. We focused on some of the things we needed to work on in order to be ready for the game next week. After training, we decided to grab something to eat in the cafeteria. As much as I tried to keep my mind on the present and join in the conversations that took place around me, I couldn't. Nor could I keep my eyes off of Jasper for very long. I caught him glancing at me more than once, and it made me anxious and excited. _Just like that night_.

I tried to listen to what Emmett and Bella were talking about. Something about the goalie for the team we'd be playing against. I wasn't sure; my mind was only on Jazz.

_The next day I had a hard time not looking at Jazz every chance I could get. Almost as hard of a time as I had keeping my hands to myself.__ I wanted to be close to him, to touch him so badly. I needed to feel more of what had happened last night, but I knew we couldn't do anything. Not when we could get caught. We'd be sent home for sure, and I knew there'd be hell to pay if that were the reason. I sighed as I swam after Laurent, who had the ball._

_I could feel Jazz' eyes on me though. Apparently he had just as hard a time as I did. The thought of that made me a little anxious and I smiled. I caught his eyes on me and my smile grew wider. In that moment of inattention, Laurent pushed me under water. Unprepared and distracted as I was, I ended up gulping down water and came up coughing. Jazz was by my side in an instant, his eyes wide as saucers._

_"Edward, are you ok?"_

_He put his hand on my shoulder and I grabbed onto him for support as I continued to cough. After a few seconds I was finally able to catch my breath and nodded._

_"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine Jazz." I shot a glare at Laurent, who had a bemused look on his face as he watched us. _Bastard

_The coach called both Jazz and me_ _out of the water and instructed him to make sure I saw the on site nurse. I didn't want to go and almost said so, but the thought of being alone with him made me shut up. He placed his hand back on my shoulder as we walked into the locker room to change. The warmth of his hand spread through my whole body. I liked it, and I hoped he felt the same. We both kept glancing at each other as we got dressed. _

_"You sure you're ok?" He whispered as he stepped next to me. We walked out of the locker room and towards the nurse's office, not quite touching but close enough to feel the electricity between us. _

_"I'm fine." I glanced at him, wondering why he seemed so concerned, but touched at the same time. _

_As I watched him, his eyes seemed to roam the area, and lit up. He grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the edge of the camp. There were cabins there that weren't in use, and he led me behind __them; out __of sight from prying eyes. My stomach felt like butterflies had been let loose in it. _

_"What..." I started to ask, before he turned and pushed me against the wall of the cabin behind me, kissing me hungrily._

_My eyes closed as he pressed his body into mine. Moaning softly I tilted my head to deepen the kiss, my tongue tracing his lips. He opened his mouth and soon our tongues were fighting for dominance. My hands were all over his back, trying to get him closer. It felt like he couldn't be close enough. He nudged my legs apart with his knee and stepped between them, pressing closer still. By now my erection was straining painfully against my jeans, and I could feel him_ _as he shifted slightly against me. My eyes rolled back at the sensation of the friction that was provided. I pulled away from his kiss, my hands sliding up to his hair, massaging his scalp. _

_"Jazz?" I barely recognized my voice; it was so thick with need. I blinked, clearing my throat once and tried again. "Jazz?"_

_His breathing was ragged as he looked in my eyes. I tried to calm my own breathing as my eyes searched his. He shifted his hips against mine again and I growled softly as I flipped us around so his back was against the cabin now. _

_Leaning into him so my lips grazed his ear, I whispered. "God, Jazz....I don't know if I can stop, if you keep this up." _

_I flicked my tongue at his lobe, eliciting a small whimper from him. He rested his head against my shoulder, his hands clutching my side._

_I could barely hear him as he spoke. "I don't know that I want you to....."_

Bella placed her hand over mine; squeezing it gently and I flinched slightly at the sudden contact.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

I looked around and saw that everyone was on their way out. Jasper was nowhere in sight and the feeling of loss took me by surprise. I frowned and turned to look at Bella, her beautiful brown eyes showing concern and caring. I smiled tiredly at her. I was lucky to have her as a friend.

"Bella...."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. I didn't want to talk about this, but I knew if I didn't, I'd keep going in circles. Bella would listen. I let out a breath I wasn't aware I'd been holding and looked at her, squeezing her hand in turn.

"Can we go somewhere and talk? Please?"

She nodded and got up.

"Your place or do you want to go somewhere else?"

"My place, I think." I got up, placed my hand at the small of her back and smiled at her. "Thank you."

She smiled and nodded. When we got to my car, I opened the door for her so she could get in. As usual when I did this, she chuckled and shook her head, but got in the car without a word. I grinned as I got in. The drive home was made in silence. I wasn't ready to talk just yet. Bella shifted slightly in her seat, watching me quietly. She knew me too well and knew that I just needed some time. She always understood me and I loved her for it.

When we got to my apartment, I grabbed a couple of beers before settling on one end of the couch. I had my back to the armrest, one leg curled under me so I could see her as we talked. Bella mirrored my posture as she accepted her beer, opened it and took a swig. She'd staid quiet the whole time, always watching me.

I looked down at my beer, unable to look into her eyes. I wasn't ready to explain yet, and I knew she was waiting for me to start. I started peeling the label off the bottle. Sighing, I looked up at her.

"So....." She raised a brow, inviting me to start talking.

"So." I replied. _Damnit... I don't even know where to start. _I took a deep breath and tried again.

"Bella, do you remember that night...."

I motioned my hand, knowing she'd understand what I was getting at, and continued when she nodded. I chuckled softly as I thought back to that night.

_It had been about 3 years since camp. I hadn't come out yet and was trying to be the good son. I knew my parents wanted me to find a nice girl, get married, and have kids. You know, the usual. I tried. And it just wasn't there. Bella and I had gone out for a couple of weeks and we'd never made it past second base. Not for lack of her wanting to. It's just that every time she'd try to go further, I froze, pretended to be a gentleman and called it a night. _

_That night wasn't all that different. We'd come here to hang out once the movie was over. I can't remember what it was we saw, but I vividly remember what happened after. I'd grabbed us a bottle of cider and some glasses after lighting up the fireplace. When I got back in to the living room, Bella was waiting for me on the rug in front of the fire, smiling and looking as beautiful as ever. I put the glasses down, poured the cider and placed the bottle on the coffee table behind us before sitting down on the floor next to her. I __handed her a glass and lifted mine to my lips, watching her over the rim. I tried so hard to feel some spark__, anything that could make me love this wonderful girl next to me. Well, love her in a more than "let's just be friends"-way. _

_We just sat there for a few minutes, sipping our cider and looking at each other. Then,_ _Bella took both our glasses and placed them on the table. I cupped her head with my hands as I leaned down to place a soft __kiss on her lips. I couldn't feel it.__She opened her mouth and her tongue darted across my lips, teasing me. She tilted her head slightly and I granted her tongue entry into my mouth, our tongues dancing. I wanted to cry, I just couldn't feel it. Hadn't been able to with any girl, which I should have known. Which I couldn't deny any longer. _

_I pulled away from the kiss and rested my forehead against hers. My voice was barely a whisper._

_"I'm sorry, Bella. I can't..."_

_I heard her take a deep breath before she spoke softly._

_"Edward...." _

_She pulled back slightly, stroking my cheek with her thumb as she looked at me. _

_"It's not just me, is it?" Her voice was soft and gentle. _

_There was no trace of judgment, hurt or anger in her voice or her eyes. Taking a shallow breath, I shook my head. I felt horrid for having led her on like this and I could feel tears threaten, so I closed my eyes. She frowned a little, placed a small kiss on my lips and smiled sadly. _

_"I'm sorry, Edward. I should not have come at you like I have. It was wrong of me to try and make you feel something that's not there."_

_I looked up at her, stunned, my mouth slightly agape. Blinking rapidly, I could only stammer in amazement._

_"_You're_ sorry? I'm the one that should be sorry.... How... how did you know?"_

_She giggled softly and winked at me._

_"Call it a sixth sense, if you will. Or am I wrong in assuming that you are, in fact, not into women. Because if I am, tell me now and I'll continue with the flirting."_

_I just shook my head and chuckled softly._

_"No, you're not wrong. And I _am_ sorry."_

_She'd put her finger to my lips then. She filled our glasses back up, handed me mine and ordered me to 'spill it'. So I did. We spent the rest of the night talking. I told her about everything. When I first knew that I was into guys. Why I hadn't come out yet. What had happened at camp. Everything. Well, I left out the sordid details, but pretty much everything else. It felt so good to finally tell someone the truth. And it felt good to finally have someone accept me for who I really was. Bella and I had been vast friends ever since. _

I sighed, put my beer down and ran my hands through my hair.

"Well, you remember me telling you about camp?"

"Yes, I remember, why?"

I put my arm on the back of the couch, rested my head on it as I looked her in the eye. I just said one word.

"Jasper."

Her eyebrows flew up in shock.

"What? Are you telling me that..."

"That Jazz and Jasper are one and the same guy? Yes, that is exactly what I'm telling you."

I growled in frustration and ran my fingers through my hair again. Nervous habit.

"I don't know what to do, Bella. I don't know what to think. Fuck. I don't even know what I'm _feeling_ right now. I'm so damn confused."

Bella put her beer down on the table and scooted forward. She sighed softly as she gathered me in her arms, holding me tight as she let me get it off my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my head on her shoulder. We sat like that for I don't know how long. Mostly I talked and she listened, offering words of encouragement every now and again. Only after everything was out had she let go and looked at me. I slowly lifted my head and waited.

**************

_"You know what you have to do, don't you, Edward? You can't ignore this. You _need_ to talk to him. Ten years is a long time, Edward. Don't throw away a second chance at love."_

Bella's words from last night kept running through my mind over and over again. She was right, of course. I would have to talk to him. So why was that so damned hard! I'd been all set to ask him to stay behind after training, so we could talk.

And then James had to pull his little stunt during the class and nearly drowned poor Jessica. I'd never been so scared in my life. We were all trained to give First Aid, but it was one thing to learn the ropes on a dummy. It was quite another to watch the limp body of that little girl as Jasper handed her over to me. She hadn't been breathing, but between the two of us we got her back. I let Jasper stay with her as I went to deal with James. Once the initial shock was over, it was all I could do to not rip into that boy. That stupid, stupid boy! I kept control of myself though and told him we would have a talk with his Father, and also with Jessica and her Mom.

Jasper and I were alone in the hall then for a few moments; everyone else having been dispersed. I let my control slip slightly and thanked him for being there. This could have been so much worse. It very nearly was. I could feel that old familiar electric feeling between us, now that we were close to each other. I'd felt it while we had been working on Jessica too, but I couldn't think of anything but her then. I shivered slightly as goose bumps covered my body, and I rubbed my arm. I started to get nervous and opted to escape, so I left the hall, saying I'd send someone in to help him retrieve the remaining bags from the pool. I was mad, mad at myself, at this whole situation. _Why can't you just buck up and talk to him!_

James' Father showed up right as I walked out of the hall into the lobby. James came walking out of the locker room, a look of panic on his face as his eyes went from me to his Father and back again. I saw him gulp as he shuffled over to us. I can't blame him for being fearful. I let my frustration about everything out on his Father; it wasn't my proudest moment. We both ended up shouting at each other, but in the end I managed to calm down enough to convey the severity of James' transgression and to come to an agreement about his punishment; at least from the standpoint of the club. What happened at home, I had no control over, but I could tell James was scared. With the look of loathing on his Father's face, I almost felt bad for the boy. Almost.

Once that was taken care of, I went to the locker room to change and shower, so I could join the team in practice. Jasper was already there, oblivious to his surroundings.

_"You know what you have to do, don't you, Edward? Don't throw away a second chance at love."_

I watched him, making sure to stay out of sight, as Bella's words haunted me again. _Chicken shit._ Jasper left and I hurried to get ready and go in after him. _Emmett's already started them on stamina training. Good._ After 5 minutes, I changed routines so we'd be paired up. I couldn't help myself and made sure that Jasper and I were opposite each other. I had to be close again, had to find out if he felt it still. My eyes were constantly on him now, but he didn't seem to notice.

We went through a few other exercises, but my mind just wasn't with it. I was glad when our time was up, and started to gather the balls. I felt Jasper as he came closer to help me, but neither of us spoke. The others just left us to it, and I silently thanked Bella, figuring that that was mostly her doing. She knew we needed to talk.

So here we were. Alone. Not talking. I sighed. I lingered in the storage closet, longer than I usually do. I was stalling and I knew it.

"Do you need help with anything else, Edward?" He asked.

"No, that's OK. I'm just going to check on some stuff in here, make sure we've got everything we need for the game next week."

"OK man..."

I watched him walk into the locker room. As soon as he was out of sight I started banging my head against the door. _Stupid stupid stupid! Just go after him. It's still there, I know it! _I only had to look down to my groin to know just how true that was.

I still felt it.

I still wanted him.

I needed him. So there was only one thing to do. _Time to buck up, Edward. Go after him. Now. _

So I went. I walked into the locker room and paused briefly as the sight of Jasper met my eyes. A very naked, very wet, very _hot_ Jasper. I took a deep breath as I stepped forward. He hadn't noticed me yet and had started to lather up. _I want to do that.... Oh God, I'm in trouble...._ I quickly stepped behind him, placed an arm on either side and pushed him into the wall. My hard cock pressed against his ass. The electricity was shooting through me now that we were pressed close and I could hear him gasp. Leaning my head forward slightly, I whispered huskily into his ear.

"Care to play another round of Truth or Dare?"

He froze. I briefly wondered if I'd gone too far.

"Jazz?"

I lifted off of him, allowing him room to move, but stayed close. My heart was beating a mile a minute as I watched him closely. I ran a hand through my hair and I could feel myself starting to panic. _He doesn't feel it. Jazz, please say something, I need to know....._

He closed his eyes briefly before taking a shuddering breath and turning around very slowly. He lifted his eyes to mine and the look on his face nearly took my breath away. I couldn't make out all the emotions that seemed to go through him at that moment, but I prayed that it wasn't all bad. He just stood there, watching me for what felt like hours. I reached past him and turned the shower off, just to give me something to do. I turned back to look at him once more to see him opening and closing his mouth a few times in an attempt to say something. He frowned as no words came out, cleared his throat and seemed to try again. I could barely hear him as he whispered to me.

"You remembered...?"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **** Thanks to both lambcullen and Isabella303, my beta-fish ^_~.**

**Ok, important note! Please pay attention. There are some views that will come up in this chapter as well as future ones that may offend people. I apologize beforehand, and want to assure you that those are**_**NOT **__**my **_**views, but solely there to convey the character(s) in question. **

**As usual, I do not own Twilight. I just like to take the boys out for a swim on occassion ^_~**

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_"Jazz?"_

_I lifted off of him, allowing him room to move, but stayed close. My heart was beating a mile a minute as I watched him closely. I ran a hand through my hair and I could feel myself starting to panic. He doesn't feel it. Jazz, please say something, I need to know....._

_He closed his eyes briefly before taking a shuddering breath and turning around very slowly. He lifted his eyes to mine and the look on his face nearly took my breath away. I couldn't make out all the emotions that seemed to go through him at that moment, but I prayed that it wasn't all bad. He just stood there, watching me for what felt like hours. I reached past him and turned the shower off, just to give me something to do. I turned back to look at him once more to see him opening and closing his mouth a few times in an attempt to say something. He frowned as no words came out, cleared his throat and seemed to try again. I could barely hear him as he whispered to me._

_"You remembered...?"_

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JPOV

I could feel my face turning red as I became acutely aware that I was very much naked, and I felt exposed in every way. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me, buying some time. My heart felt like it was trying to beat its way out of my chest, I was so nervous. I started chewing the inside of my lip as I watched him. _Looks like I'm not the only one that's nervous._

He shifted from one foot to the other as he spoke.

"Yeah, I did. I've been trying to work up the courage to talk to you." He admitted.

I nodded and let out a gush of air. "At least you found it." I said in soft whisper. I lowered my eyes to the floor, blushing again. _I don't know whether to kiss him senseless or run like hell... _

He reached his hand to my chin and gently lifted it up so I would look at him. I slowly opened my eyes to his and sighed. As I looked into his green eyes, something inside seemed to just melt away. I _did_ know what I wanted. It was the same thing that I shouldn't allow myself to have, because it would surely tear my family apart. But I wanted _him. _His hand went from my chin to cup my cheek and I leaned into it, closing my eyes so I could just enjoy the feel of him. This whole time, my body had been awash with the same electricity as we used to have. It almost felt like a constant buzzing sensation in every fiber of my being.

"Jazz.....?"

I opened my eyes again, taking a deep breath. The smell of him, mingled with the smell of chlorine, hit me then and gave me pause.

_We were behind the unused cabins. I had pinned him against the wall and kissed him hungrily. I wanted to taste him, to feel his body close to mine. I didn't understand what was happening to me. This wasn't how I'd been raised, but this was exciting, new and more powerful than anything I'd ever felt before. Sure, I'd been with a few girls. I was no virgin by any means in that respect. But this? This need to be close to him, to be with him in every way? It was overwhelming, wonderful. And I wanted more. _

_I pressed closer as I felt his arms pull me to him. He seemed to want me just as badly. His moan fueled my want even further. He slid his hands up to my hair and massaged my scalp as he pulled away from our kiss._

_"Jazz?"_

_His voice was thick, husky with desire. Desire for me. We were both breathing heavily at this point and I struggled to regain some control._

_"Jazz?"_

_I met his eyes as they searched for something in mine. I shifted my hips against his again, the friction sending delicious fire through my body. It both thrilled and scared me. He growled softly as he flipped us around, my back now to the wall as he pressed into me. He leaned his head closer, his lips grazing my ear as he whispered._

_"God, Jazz....I don't know if I can stop, if you keep this up." _

_He flicked his tongue at my lobe, making me whimper softly. I rested my head against his shoulder, and clutched my hands at his side as I whispered._

_"I don't know that I want you to....."_

_My heart started to hammer as soon as the words had left my mouth. I didn't want him to stop, but at the same time I was anxious about what continuing might mean. He was still massaging my scalp gently, and the sensation relaxed me. His touch sent shivers down my spine as he whispered in my ear, his warm breath fanning across it._

_"I want you, Jazz." _

_I heard him take a breath as if to steady himself before he continued. _

_"Just tell me if you want me to stop."_

_He slid one hand down slowly and rested it on my belt for a moment, looking into my eyes for permission. His other hand was still on the back of my head. When I nodded my assent, he pulled me closer and kissed me tenderly. His other hand undid my belt and undid all the buttons of my fly. He slid his hand inside my boxers and I moaned into the kiss. He deepened the kiss, stroking my length gently. All too soon he pulled away, a small smile played on his lips when he noticed my slight pout at the loss of contact. _

_He slowly__ lowered himself to his knees, his eyes focused on mine, ever watchful of my reaction. He pulled my cock out of my boxers and placed a small kiss on my head. I gasped as his lips touched me there and I stiffened slightly, panic washing over me. He must have seen my reaction, because he spoke softly to me, his hand continuing to stroke up my length._

_"It's OK, Jazz. If you want me to stop, I will. I want to make you feel good, not cause you stress."_

_His words were so tender, his touch so gentle, that I let myself relax. I gave in to my feelings. He wanted to please me. Me! At that moment, I simply did not want him to stop, so I nodded again. _

_My breathing hitched slightly as he licked his lips and took the head into his mouth. The feel of his tongue as he swirled it around, it was incredible. I kept my eyes on him as he slowly took more and more of my length in his mouth. I gasped as I hit the back of his throat. He started to move back and forth at a slow pace, his teeth grazing ever so slightly every time he moved back. His hand wrapped around the bottom, working my cock in sync with his mouth. I moaned, my fingers flexing, needing to do something. _

_"Oh God....."_

_He moaned as he took me back into his mouth, the vibrations of it nearly became my undoing right there. Never before had I felt this. My hips bucked against my will as he increased the pace of his movements. I looked down at him to see his eyes still on me. He looked pleased, happy. And hot! I ran my fingers through his hair a few times before fisting them, eliciting a louder moan from him. _

_"God... Edward....I...."_

_I couldn't speak, let alone think anymore. He was sucking now, creating a vacuum every time he moved back. It felt like a fire was building inside of me, a fire that desperately wanted out. I tugged his hair, trying to tell him what I knew I wouldn't be able to say. I was so close... so close. _

_"Edward.....I... c-can't...Oh God..."_

_Once, twice more and that was all it took. The release was explosive as I came into his mouth. He closed his eyes in contentment as he kept going, swallowing every drop he had elicited from me. I slumped against the cabin, barely able to stand up. My breathing was ragged, and I was hit with the realization of what just happened. Edward had just gone down on me. My dick had been in another guy's mouth. Don't get me wrong, it was Edward, and it was amazing. By far the best thing I've ever felt in my life. But it was overwhelming to say the least. I put my hands over my eyes and tried desperately to catch my breath._

_Edward gently tucked everything in its place again, buttoned me back up and strapped my belt back in place. Then he slowly stood up and I think he watched me for a moment. I don't know for sure, since I had my hands over my eyes, but he was quiet. Then I felt him wrap his arms around me and he held me to him. I started to calm down almost instantly, took a deep breath and slipped my arms around his waist. I burried my face into his shoulder, taking in deep gulps of air, his scent invading my senses. I couldn't speak yet, so I just hugged him tighter. I heard him whisper softly._

_"Thank you, Jazz."_

_He planted several kisses on my neck and we just stood there for a while._

I couldn't help but smile softly at the memory. He tilted his head in question. I knew what I wanted to do, but there was something we _had_ to do first.

"I think we should talk."

He nodded in agreement.

"We've got a lot to catch up on." His voice was still husky, and I wondered if he was remembering as well.

I nodded and cleared my throat, still somewhat embarrassed.

"I uhm... I'm going to go get dressed." _Yes, for God's sake, we need to put clothes on. I don't know what will happen if we don't._

"Yeah, I suppose we should." Edward said with a sheepish grin on his face.

He chuckled softly and went to grab his things, so he could take a quick shower. I dressed slowly and sat down while I waited for him to be done. I couldn't help but chuckle as I saw him dart back in to get dressed. He grinned shyly as he noticed me watching him. We didn't speak until we got to his car. I looked at him and cocked an eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. _A Lexus RX Hybrid, Edward? _

He shrugged as he answered my unspoken question.

"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."

He grinned and winked at me.

I chuckled and shook my head, pointing at my bike.

"Indeed, why do you think I have a bicycle."

We ended up putting my bike in the back of his car, very carefully. Edward was a little on the over protective side of his vehicle. Once we were in the car, he turned to me as he turned the key in the ignition.

"McMenamins OK?"

Since I didn't know the place, I just shrugged.

"Sure."

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We managed to find a seat at the last empty table in the bar and ordered a Porter each and some sweet potato fries to share. Neither of us spoke for a while and I kept my eyes glued to the table. My stomach was doing somersaults. Our knees touched under the table, and the current flowing through me did little to calm me this time. I wasn't about to move though, and it appeared he wasn't, either. Our beers and food arrived, and we ate quietly.

When I finally looked up, it was to meet his eyes on mine. Smiling a small smile, I sighed softly.

"Hi..."

He smirked and replied in kind. "Hi."

"Did you hear that they're keeping Jessica overnight for observation?"

_Great... out of everything there is to talk about, that you _should_ talk about, you choose _this_? Get a grip, Jasper! _I fidgeted in my chair, shooting him an apologetic glance.

He cleared his throat, his brow furrowing as he answered.

"Yeah, Vanessa told me right before I went back in to the locker room....."

He paused for a moment, the crease on his forehead deepening.

"I uhm...I talked with James' Dad about what happened."

He rubbed the back of his neck as he started to explain about losing his temper with the man. How James had looked terrified at the thought of what waited for him at home. How he had calmed down enough to assure James he was welcome to return to the class, as long as he was sure to visit Jessica and apologize to her and her Mother. And, of course, to strictly obey the rules in future.

We basically skirted around the issues, until finally he put both hands flat on the table between us, pushing himself straight and looking right at me.

"Jazz...."

I raised my eyes to meet his and gulped. _Here we go... _His beautiful green eyes almost shimmered with emotion, there were almost too many flickering through them but I thought I saw hurt, anger and... love? _Can't be. That was 10 years ago, there's no way.... And could that even have been... love? _I frowned slightly to myself and sighed.

"What happened? At camp, I thought....."

He trailed off, looking hurt and uncomfortable, and my heart ached for him. _I did that...How am I ever going to explain, without hurting him more? Heck, I'm not even sure _I_ understand everything that was going on then, let alone what I still feel now. _

I leaned forward onto the table and ran a hand through my hair.

_It was 2 days before camp was over. Rosalie had called me to make sure that I knew the final plans to pick me up. It had been up in the air, since Dad was going to be transfered again right around the same time. We'd chatted for a few minutes after that, and she told me how Dad had come home earlier that week, looking like thunder. She explained that 2 of his subordinates had been caught sleeping together, and he'd spent all night ranting and raving about it. "It was just not right"-this, "No place for fags in the army"-that. The more she said, the further I could feel my stomach drop, to the point where I felt physically sick. _

_I made my excuses to Rosalie and went straight to our cabin, instead of back to the pool to continue training. I climbed into bed and curled into a ball. The tears ran silently down my cheeks as I tried to wrap my head around what Rose had told me. How could I face Dad now? I had done things with Edward, had let him do things to me, that Dad would never approve of. He would hate me. I knew, without a doubt, that he could not love me if he knew. _

_Even thinking about not being able to be in touch with Edward killed me. It felt like a knife had cut through my heart, it hurt so bad. I wanted to be with him. These last few weeks had been amazing, how could I let that go? I knew we lived in different parts of the country, but we moved so often that that mattered little. We would be able to work it out, or at least, I would have liked to have tried. But I knew I couldn't. I could not risk losing my family. Not even for him. _

_So I decided there and then to pull away. I ignored Edward as best I could, even though the pull toward him seemed to grow stronger the harder I tried to pull away. I refused to be near him if I could help it. I felt like I was dying inside, but to allow myself these last 2 days would be worse. Or so I kept telling myself. And how would I have been able to explain it to him. I could tell it hurt him that I was shunning him, it had come out of left field. And yet I couldn't stop. If I did, I'd surely surrender myself to him completely. And lose my family in the process._

"I owe you an apology, Edward." I began. "I owe you so much more than that."

I took a deep breath and launched into my explanation. About Dad, my fears, _my_ pain as a result of the choice I had made. And I apologized again and again for having done it.

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**A/N: OK. Now that you've read the chapter, I just wanted to remind you that I would love for you to play, but if you can't play nice, it's better to stay out of them game ^_~. Seriously folks, I'm not portraying my own feelings with the stuff Jazz' Dad says. On the contrary. **

**If you would like to come and chat about ATDE, there's a thread up on Twilighted. Link is available in my profile.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **** Thanks to both lambcullen and Isabella303, my beta-fish ^_~.**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. I only wish. **

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_So I decided there and then to pull away. I ignored Edward as best I could, even though the pull toward him seemed to grow stronger the harder I tried to pull away. I refused to be near him if I could help it. I felt like I was dying inside, but to allow myself these last 2 days would be worse. Or so I kept telling myself. And how would I have been able to explain it to him. I could tell it hurt him that I was shunning him, it had come out of left field. And yet I couldn't stop. If I did, I'd surely surrender myself to him completely. And lose my family in the process._

"I owe you an apology, Edward." I began. "I owe you so much more than that."

I took a deep breath and launched into my explanation. About Dad, my fears, _my_ pain as a result of the choice I had made. And I apologized again and again for having done it.

EPOV

It was hard to sit and listen to the reason he pulled away from me all those years ago. I had never understood why, after the weeks we'd spent together, he suddenly ignored me. I remembered how much it had hurt me back then.

_I wondered why Jazz hadn't come back to training after the call with his family. I couldn't very well go out and check. So, I was left to endure the rest of the session without him, until it was time for dinner. I rushed to get showered and dressed, hoping he'd be in the cafeteria already. He wasn't. I began to worry something was wrong, when I saw him enter the room, walk through the line to grab food and then move to the opposite side of where I was at. _What the hell?_ He didn't meet my eyes as I tried in vain to catch his attention. A funny feeling started to settle in my stomach, and it had nothing to do with the food I'd just consumed. _

_After dinner we were allowed to do what we wanted that night. I tried to seek out Jazz, but couldn't find him anywhere. Was he hiding from me? Something was definitely wrong. What had happened during that phone call? Was he alright? Was his family OK? My worry increased when I went to our cabin after calling it a night and found his bed empty. Laurent and Mike were already asleep. Where was he? I changed into my pj's and slid into bed. I curled on my side, silently wondering if I'd done something wrong, maybe pushed him too far. That funny feeling began to ache a little bit as I drifted off in an uneasy sleep. _

_The following morning I awoke to the sound of hushed voices, feeling groggy and slightly disoriented. I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to collect my thoughts. Jazz? I looked over to his bed. Empty. I searched the room and noticed him talking to Mike in a whisper. He stood with his back to me, tension radiating off him._

_"Jazz?" _

_I saw his muscles tense when he heard me call his name, but he gave no response other then nodding to Mike and walking out the door. _

_"Mike? What's going on with Jazz? Do you know?" I hated having to ask the question. Hated that Jazz wasn't talking to me. Hated not knowing why he was acting so strange. _

_"No clue, man. Sorry." _

_He shrugged and followed Jazz out the door. Breakfast probably calling him. I wasn't hungry, so I got up and dressed slowly. I made it to breakfast with enough time to grab some coffee. It was all I wanted. Jazz had already left the room. The realization of that made my stomach turn. _

_Morning training was long and boring. My heart wasn't in it anymore. Jazz kept avoiding me. It was as if I was a pariah or something. It hurt like hell to see him turn on his heel and head the opposite direction when he saw me. _

_By the time we were heading for lunch, I was desperate. Jazz had still not spoken to me and the way he acted whenever he came near me had me convinced I'd done something to push him away. I'd automatically put food on my tray, but only picked at it. I was sick to my stomach by now and at a complete loss on how to fix this. Whatever 'this' was. _

_The rest of the afternoon went by without my being very aware of it. I hoped that tonight Jazz might let me talk to him. Apologize for whatever I'd done to warrant the sudden change in him. We had planned to have a sing-along by the campfire and both Jazz and I were supposed to play guitar. He never showed. I ended up playing as planned, but made so many mistakes that they eventually called it a night. I looked over to his bed before slipping into mine. He was already asleep. _

_The next day was our last. We had training again in the morning, lunch and training again in the afternoon. After dinner we were supposed to either go on the bus to the airport or meet our families. I watched Jazz greet his family, he seemed relieved to see them. Had I really screwed up so badly? I started to walk up to him to say goodbye, when he caught my eye for the first time. He looked pained, sad and determinedly shook his head. I stopped dead in my tracks, feeling as if my heart was breaking. I'd never see him again. I simply nodded once, a single tear trickling down my cheek. _

_It was months before I started feeling like myself again. My parents had been worried, but hadn't pushed for answers. They knew that I would come to them when I was ready to talk._

We ordered another beer after he was done with his explanation. I waited until after they'd arrived before looking at him again and telling him about those last moments at camp. How I'd felt it had been something I'd done, how much it had hurt to lose him then. I told him about the time after camp, explained how I had tried for 3 years after that to be 'normal'. I told him about Bella, and how she'd helped me come out. However, since then, I'd felt more myself then even back when we'd been together those weeks at camp, but that something had been missing.

He listened quietly for the most part, interjecting occassionally with another apology. It was both a relief to finally be able to talk to him about what had happened, but I also felt a little scared. I knew what had been missing all these years. Every guy I had been with since coming out, not that there had been many, I had compared to the feeling I'd shared with Jazz. Now that he was back in my life, I was certain of that. I was certain, because now that he was near me again, I could feel it. Deep down and in every fiber of my being, I could feel it. And I didn't know how to let him know. Not yet, anyway.

_Too soon. Too much, too soon. I want to keep you this time, Jazz._

We both switched to water after we had finished our beers. We sat and talked for a while more; ordering some more food. It'd been hours since we had gotten here and it felt good to just be with him after all this time. I glanced at my watch and sighed. _I don't want tonight to end, but I have to work early tomorrow. _

"Jazz..." I looked up at him, smiling shyly. I wasn't sure if he was OK with me using that nickname anymore. He smiled back though, so I continued.

"Would it be OK if...." I paused to take a deep breath, feeling very anxious all of a sudden.

"Yes?"

"Would it be OK if we went out together again this week?" I lowered my voice and continued.

"I'd like to see if maybe..." I let the sentence trail off as I gestured between us, hoping that he would understand what I was trying to say.

He leaned on the table then and began fiddling with his fingers nervously, his eyes locked on mine. I wished I could know what he was thinking.

His voice was so low, I had to strain to hear him.

"I think I'd like that, too. But Edward...." He tilted his head, sighing softly. "I never told anyone. And I'm not sure I am ready to do so now. Is that okay?"

I nodded, not needing to think about it as long as it meant there was a next time.

"When would be OK for you?"

He thought for a moment and then chuckled softly.

"Honestly? Whenever works for you. I don't have anywhere to be other then the swimming hall, and you know when I'm there." He winked at me then, smirking a little. I grinned back.

"Okay. Well, unfortunately, I have to work tomorrow. Maybe we can go out somewhere afterwards? I should be done around 5? Maybe we could go to Pike's Place?"

He agreed we could meet after work and I felt so relieved. I gave him my card with my contact information, after scribbling my IM-name on the back. He raised an eyebrow at me and chuckled. I got his phone number and IM-name as well. I paid our bill despite his protest, telling him he could pay next time if he really objected. After some grumbling he consented and we headed outside. I carefully pulled his bike out of the back of my car, making a mental note to install a bike rack for next time. _Next time? I like the idea of that. _I smiled at the thought and turned to him. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him, but I didn't. I knew it would make him uncomfortable, and that we would have to work up to that. We parted ways with a "See you tomorrow.". I sat in my car, watching him peddle away on his bike in my rearview mirror. Once he was out of sight, I headed home.

As soon as I got home, I couldn't stop myself. I turned on my computer and logged onto my instant messenger, shooting him a request to be added to my friends list. Realizing he probably wouldn't even be home yet, I went to take a quick shower in an effort to relax my nerves. It took me all of 10 minutes before I was back behind my computer, my hair damp and my towel wrapped low around my hips. I looked at the flashing message on my screen. Still waiting for him to click accept. I sighed and sat back in my chair. It was another 15 minutes before anything changed. 15 Minutes spent staring blankly at the screen, trying not to go out of my mind.

_**Jazzman has accepted your request. **_

_**Jazzman would like to add you to his or her Messenger List. **__**Accept**__**or **__**Deny**__**?**_

I didn't hesitate and accepted. Of course I accepted! As soon as his name stopped blinking, I clicked on it.

**EACullen:** Hi. Glad to see you made it home okay :-)

**Jazzman: **Hi back. Man, you sure didn't waste any time, did you *chuckles* ;-)

**EACullen: ** What can I say? ;-)

**Jazzman:** *chuckles* Miss me? ;-)

I paused for a moment. _More then you'll ever know....._

**EACullen: ** You could say that.... *grin*

**Jazzman: **I know.... I didn't want the evening to end, either. It was.... nice, to see you again. To talk to you.

I smiled at his confession. It had been nice to just talk again. The connection between us was still strong. And much more than just physical. We'd spent hours just talking, back at camp.

_A few nights after that first encounter, Jazz and I had been playing guitar and singing together. A few others had joined in on the singing as well, and soon we had a merry group belting out song after song. It was great and we all bonded more that night. I couldn't stop grinning at him as we tried to one up each other on the guitar. He'd know certain songs I didn't, and vice versa. We seemed to compliment eachother well on those songs we both knew. Our eyes met as we started the opening notes to 'Hotel California' by The Eagles and we grinned. Somehow the connection just felt stronger the more time we spent together. _

_That song ended up being the last one for the night. Jazz and I both put our guitars safely away, before deciding to stay up a while longer and just talk. We mostly talked about what music we liked. He was into _ _Country, Rock 'n Roll, Indie, to name but a few. I got a chuckle when I said one of mine was Jazz, which in turn earned him a punch in the arm. And a chuckle. I couldn't help it._

**EACullen: **Yeah, it really was. :-). Hey, I was just thinking about that night we ended up singing with the guys. Do you remember?

**Jazzman:** Which one? You mean when we sang 'Hotel California'?

I grinned. He was right, of course. There had been a few nights of singing and playing. But that song we only did once.

**EACullen: **That's the one.

**Jazzman: ** Yeah, I remember. *grin* I take it you're still into Jazz? ;-) ;-) ;-)

I chuckled. _If you only knew..._

**EACullen: **Yeah, still into Jazz ;-)

**Jazzman: **:-)

**EACullen: **It's late... I have to get up early tomorrow. Have any plans? ;-)

**Jazzman: **Nah, just hanging out with some guy I just got reaquainted with, at some point ;-).

**EACullen: ***grumbles* I meant before we go out, smart ass

**Jazzman: **No, no plans. Well, school work, but aside from that....

**EACullen: ** School work? I thought you said you had no where to go tomorrow?

**Jazzman: ** You're right, I don't ;-). I take a couple of online classes. Nothing major, just stuff I'm interested in. But I'll be home. Behind my computer. Alone. ;-)

I swallowed and had to tug the towel back into place. _Damnable tease..._

**EACullen: **Alone, you say? On the computer? In that case, maybe I'll see you on IM? Will be in the office all day.

**Jazzman: **Who knows ;-)

**EACullen: **I guess we'll have to wait and see. Anyway.... Goodnight, Jasper. See you tomorrow.

**Jazzman: **Goodnight, Edward. Tomorrow....

I sighed as I logged out and shut the computer down. I leaned forward, putting my elbows on the desk and resting my head in my hands. _I'm going to need another shower, a very cold one. _I got up and walked back to the bathroom, turned the shower back on and stepped inside. _Fuck! That's cold!! _I gasped as the shock of the water hit me, instantly taking care of my response to Jasper's teasing. _God, if I react this strongly just from that..._ I shook my head at myself as I turned off the water and quickly grabbed my towel, rubbing my body to dry off and warm up. I went to bed frustrated, relieved and with the stirrings of happiness. Sleep came surprisingly easy.

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I stared at the clock for the umpteenth time that morning. The day seemed to drag on forever. It wasn't very busy, which didn't help matters much. I wondered what Jasper was up to. Sighing, I checked my inbox again, to see if anything urgent needed my attention. It didn't, so I tried to divert my attention to some routine maintainance stuff. I was completely distracted. With a sigh, I picked up the phone and called Emmett. He answered after the third ring.

"Emmett McCarty speaking."

"Emmett! Hey man, how's it going?"

"Edward? Err, good, good. To what do I owe this honor?"

"Actually, I was hoping I could ask you a favor." I bit my lip nervously. _Do I tell him why I need it?_

"Shoot, man, what can I do for you?"

"Would you be able to put a bike rack on the back of my car for me?"

Silence.

"Come again, bro? A bike rack? _You_ want a bike rack on _your_ precious Lexus?" I heard him chuckle on the other end. I sighed.

"Yes, Emmett. A bike rack. Could you please? I need to have it done soon."

"Sure. How soon were you thinking? I'm off today, so...."

"Today's good." I glanced at the clock again. _10am. _"You OK if I bring the car by your place around noon?"

"Yeah, no problem. I can have it done during your lunch hour, as long as you bring everything I need for it."

"Thanks, man. I owe you."

He just chuckled and hung up with a "Later, bro.".

I grinned and turned back to the work I had been trying to do. The Instant Messenger seemed to be taunting me to turn it on and see if he was online. I knew I shouldn't, but damnit I wanted to talk to him. I could be online and still do my work, right? So I turned it on and there he was.

**Jazzman: **Hey you. Shouldn't you be working? ;-)

**EACullen: **Yeah, don't tell the boss I'm on here, instead ;-)

**Jazzman: **The boss? Isn't your Dad your boss?

**EACullen: **Exactly ;-)

**Jazzman: **tsk tsk, shame on you, Edward ;-). But I'm glad you're on. :-)

**EACullen: **Me too. I can't seem to get anything done around here. My mind keeps wandering... ;-)

**Jazzman: ***chuckles* What's got you so distracted then?

**EACullen: **Oh I don't know.... I keep seeing these blue-green eyes ;-)

**Jazzman: ** Oh really? Who might those eyes belong to?

**EACullen: **Mmm.. just a guy I bumped into yesterday. Kinda cute, has an impish smile that'll melt your heart.... ;-)

**Jazzman:** You don't say....

I chuckled. We went back and forth for a while and before I knew it, it was time to go to Emmett's.

**EACullen: **I have to go, have a lunch appointment. Will you be on later?

**Jazzman: ** Sure. Later.

I logged off and hurried out the door. I still had to swing by the store to pick up a bike rack before going to Emmett's. I made good time and found what I needed quickly. I made one last stop before Emmett's, to pick up some beer as a thank you. When I pulled in, I saw him waiting for me. Arms across his chest, brow raised and grinning from ear to ear.

"A bike rack? Seriously, bro?"

"Can it, McCarty."

He guffawed and took the beer to the fridge.

"Are you going to tell me why you suddenly want one of those contraptions on your precious vehicle?"

"No."

"Alright man. But I'll find out eventually." He winked at me.

"I'm sure you will, Emmett, I'm sure you will."

He didn't press any further, though I'm sure he would try again next time he saw me. I watched him work on the car, wondering what Jazz would think of it. _Will he get that I did it for him?_

"There you go, bro."

He stood back to check out the bike rack and make sure it was all secured and good to go.

"That should do it, Edward. Though I don't know what you need one of these for. Do you even _own_ a bike?"

I smirked at him.

"I may be getting one, who knows. Anyway, thanks Emmett. I appreciate your help."

I clapped him on the shoulder. He just shook his head and shrugged.

"Any time, man. See you tomorrow at training?"

"I'll be there, as always."

He nodded and watched as I got in the car and drove off. I was running a little later than I had planned, but that was OK. With it being as slow as it had been, I'd be able to just make it up later today. I'd have to make sure Jasper knew I was running late though, but I was sure he wouldn't mind.

As soon as I was back in the office, I logged back in and he was still there.

**Jazzman:** Did you have a nice lunch date?

**EACullen: **Lunch date? Yeah, I guess you could say that, though I wouldn't call Emmett a "date" to his face, if I were you. ;-) *chuckles*

He thought I'd been on a date? I frowned, slightly puzzled. Was he jealous?

**EACullen: ** I haven't had a "date" in a while, Jazz. But speaking of which. I'll be a little late tonight for ours. My lunch with Emmett ran later than I thought, so I need to make up for it after work. I should only be about half an hour later though.

**Jazzman: ***blush* Sure, no problem.

**EACullen: **So what kind of classes are you taking? Getting anything done today? ;-)

**Jazzman: **It's nothing, really. Mostly for fun. I'm going for my Bachelor's in History. Ashford U? As for getting anything done. I think I have a similar problem to yours, but the eyes I keep seeing are emerald. ;-)

I chuckled at his confession.

**EACullen: **A BA in history? Cool. If I recall, you always were interested in the subject. Doesn't surprise me you're pursuing it.

**Jazzman: **Yeah. Not sure what I'll be doing with it once I've got it, but then I don't really need to.

**EACullen: **Because of the inheritance? I seem to remember you talking about something like that at camp.....

**Jazzman: **Yup.

"Hey Son, could you have a look at...."

_Shit! Dad! _ My head snapped up and I felt my face go red. _Busted._ He noticed my reaction and stopped mid-sentence, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Everything alright, Son?"

I cleared my throat and nodded.

"Fine, everything's fine. You just... caught me off guard. Sorry." I mumbled.

He gave me a scrutinizing look before coming back to the reason behind his interuption. He held up his laptop.

"I don't know what's going on, but it's acting up. Could you have a look at it?"

I chuckled softly. I loved my Dad, but computers and him did not mix too well.

"Sure thing. When do you need it back?"

"No later than tomorrow? I need it for a meeting at 9am."

"OK. I'll have a look at it now then. I'll bring it by when I'm finished."

He nodded, gave me another questioning look, but left shortly after. He wasn't going to get any answers right now and he knew it. I sighed in relief as I turned back to the screen.

**Jazzman: **Hello? You still there?

**EACullen: **Yeah, sorry... my Dad walked in unannounced. He needs me to look at his laptop, so I'm going to have to go. Sorry.

**Jazzman: **It's cool. *chuckles* Your Dad walked in huh. Good thing you were at work then ;-). If you'd been at home, it might have been even more embarrassing. ;-)

I groaned. _Tease!_

**EACullen: **When did you become such a tease, Jazz?

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**Tease me, please me bbs ^_~. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **** Thanks to both lambcullen and Isabella303, my beta-fish ^_~.**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. I only wish. **

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JPOV

When I got home, I went straight to my room and turned on my computer. I usually checked my e-mail before going to bed, to make sure I didn't miss anything important, like a note from a teacher or something. I took Edward's card out of my pocket, intending to put it by the computer. Instead, I flipped it around and stared at his IM name for a couple of minutes. I tapped the card against my fingers. _Ah what the hell... _I logged on to my Instant Messenger. It hadn't even finished loading yet when the box came flashing on my screen:

_**EACullen would like to add you to his or her Messenger List. **__**Accept**__** or **__**Deny**__**?**_

I stared at it for about a minute. I hovered the mouse over the "accept" button. I realized that clicking that button meant that we really were going to be in each other's lives again. And if I were completely honest with myself, the thought of that was both scary and very, very enticing. Having him basically asking me to be in his life felt good. That even after what happened, what I had done 10 years ago, he would still want me. I clicked on 'accept' and shot him a request to be added to his list as well.

**EACullen:** Hi. Glad to see you made it home ok :-)

**Jazzman: **Hi back. Man, you sure didn't waste any time, did you *chuckles* ;-)

**EACullen: ** What can I say? ;-)

**Jazzman:** *chuckles* Miss me? ;-)

**EACullen: ** You could say that.... *grin*

**Jazzman: **I know.... I didn't want the evening to end, either. It was.... nice, to see you again. To talk to you.

I closed my eyes for a moment and smiled. It _had_ been nice, but it had been hard as well, to tell him everything. It had killed me to see the pain I caused in his eyes. And when he told me how he had perceived those last days at camp, it felt like something was clawing at my heart. All I wanted in that moment was to step over to him and wrap my arms around him. To kiss him and beg his forgiveness for causing him pain. For not believing in us, for giving up, but I didn't. I just sat back, and apologized again and again.

How could he want to have anything to do with me, especially now that he knew? But he did. He had asked me out again, and I was thrilled. Thrilled, and more than a little scared. I had not been with any guys since him and only a few girls in all that time. What had happened between us had such an effect on me that every relationship I'd had, I measured against Edward. None had ever compared. I could never put my finger on what it was that caused that. I was afraid to look too deeply into it. Afraid that if I really thought about it, I'd discover I had made a horrible mistake. One I could not take back. And I was afraid that, even if I could, I would still not be able to do it. I loved my family so much.

Now he was here. By some miracle, we were thrown back into each other's lives. Part of me felt like running in the opposite direction. Another part of me felt the need to be with him. Yet I was still scared. This wasn't a girl I could bring home to Mom and Dad. This was _Edward_. I sighed and looked back at the screen. He'd asked me about camp. We talked for a bit longer before he had to log off and get some sleep. I reluctantly did the same.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I woke up early, before my alarm clock went off. I grumbled and threw the covers off. It had not been a restful night. Thoughts of Edward had chased me around. Some were pleasant, and we were together, happy and carefree. Others were more like a nightmare. I'd been kicked out as soon as my family had found out. I was all alone. Even Edward had left me, scorning me for my decisions back at camp. I rubbed my eyes and just sat in bed, my knees pulled up so I could rest my arms on them.

Rosalie barged into the room about 20 minutes later. I hadn't moved, too deep in thought about the disturbing dreams from the night before. Rose never did knock or announce herself in anyway, which was the main reason I _always_ wore my pj bottoms. You only need to be walked in on naked once by Rose, and it's an experience you never forget. I loved my sister, but I could have strangled her the day she'd walked in while I was still sleeping. I had been 17 at the time.

_"Get up, you lazy bum!" She stood next to my bed and pulled the covers off to entice me to get out of bed. The loss of covers didn't do nearly as much to wake me as her laughter did. She had looked down and noticed the morning wood I was sporting, and she fucking laughed at me. I was mortified. I pulled the covers back over me and yelled at her to get the fuck out of my room. She was still laughing as she closed the door behind her. She'd teased me about it relentlessly for weeks, __always earning a blush from me. _

I looked up at her, suppressing the smirk that was trying to come out at the memory. She raised an eyebrow as she took me in.

"What's wrong, Jazz? You look like hell."

"Good morning to you too, sis. Was there anything you wanted, besides stating the fucking obvious?" I glared at her. I wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone right then.

"I wanted to know if you'd like to come with me today. I'm going to look into getting a new car."

I sighed. My sister and her love of cars.

"No thanks, sis. I've got school stuff to do today...." _And hopefully see if Edward comes online at all. And a date to get ready for._ I frowned at the thought of that. A date. With Edward. I put my head in my hands and groaned. I heard the door close with a soft click, and then I felt the bed dip as Rose sat down opposite me.

"Okay, brother mine. Spill. Now."

I looked at her, searching her eyes. I wanted to talk to her, but I wasn't sure how she'd receive what I had to say. We had always been very close, almost like twins. We were exactly a year apart. How Mother managed it we never found out, but both of us have the same birthday. If I couldn't talk to her, I didn't know who I could talk to. So I took a deep breath and went for it.

"Rose. Do you remember my going to camp 10 years ago?"

She nodded.

"I never did tell you everything that happened there, did I?"

I told her. I told her about Laurent smuggling in the bottle of whiskey. About the game of Truth or Dare. How Laurent had dared Edward to kiss me, and how it had made me feel to kiss him.

I gave her a summary of what happened over the following weeks, leaving out the details of what we had done. All about her phone call, and my decision afterwards. How horrible I had felt for weeks after I'd gotten home. I was picking at the covers, my eyes down, afraid to see her reaction. She didn't say a word throughout my story.

I paused and slowly raised my eyes to meet hers. Her head was tilted slightly, a small frown marring her brow.

"So you made out with a guy when you were 16. So what? Why does that have you tied up in knots now?"

"Edward is here. In Seattle. He's on my water polo team, and he is the teacher I work with at the club."

"Oh."

I sighed and looked down at my hands.

"Have you talked to him?"

I smiled a little and nodded.

"It's still there, Rose. I can feel it. And I'm fairly sure he can, as well. It scares the crap out of me."

I felt her hand run through my hair and I looked up.

"You're scared because of Dad?"

I nodded.

"Idiot."

I blinked.

"What?"

"I said 'idiot'. You just got done telling me about being in love...."

I started to interrupt her, to deny what she was saying, but she just glared at me and I closed my mouth again.

"....that you let that go 10 years ago, and now that same person..." She gave me a pointed look, daring me to open my mouth. "…is back in your life again. You still have feelings for him, and he for you, and you're more worried about Dad's reaction than about letting go of love _again_?" She slapped me upside the head and repeated "Idiot!"

All I could do was stare at her in shock. Of all the reactions I had foreseen from her, this was the last thing I had expected. She rolled her eyes and gave a short snort in disgust.

"Men! Always so worried about the wrong things."

I tilted my head slightly, frowning. I still hadn't found my voice yet. She sighed.

"Brother mine. I love you. You know that right?"

I nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"Love doesn't care about what package it comes in, Jazzie. Love is just that. Love. You're lucky if you can find it once. You have to grab it and hold on with both hands when you do."

She smiled at me then.

"What about Mom and Dad? Rosie... I love you all so much, I'm afraid he's going to flip out, and that he won't talk to me anymore. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

My face fell at the thought of losing the ones I loved. At the same time, I realized that the thought of losing Edward, _again_, hurt. A lot.

I heard a strange choking sound, and it took me a second to realize that it was coming from me. I felt Rosalie's arms around me as she lowered my head on her shoulder, holding me to her. She made soft shushing noises as she let me just get it out.

She murmured in my ear. "Jazzie... you won't lose me, no matter what. I'm your sister, you're stuck with me whether you like it or not."

I chuckled as I felt her grin against my cheek.

"I don't know what's going to happen next, brother mine, but I'm with you, all the way. Just this once, do what you need to do for yourself? Follow your heart."

Rosalie had never been one to show her emotions much, but she had always had an underlying mothering instinct. I loved her a little more now, for showing that to me. I knew I could count on her, she'd have my back. We always had each other's backs. This didn't change that fact.

"Thanks, sis." I turned my head a little and gave her a peck on the cheek. "I love you, too."

I hugged her tightly to me for a moment before letting her go and wiping my eyes, surprised to find them wet. I looked at her, feeling a little sheepish. She rolled her eyes again and then winked as she got up.

"So, now that we've got that settled. Are you sure you don't want to come car shopping with me?"

"Yeah, I really do need to get some school work done today. And it seems I've got some soul searching to do."

I winked at her. I felt much better after having talked to Rosalie about it all. She had a way of putting things in perspective for me. Now I just needed time to figure things out in my head. I frowned and looked straight at her again.

"Rose? Please don't tell anyone. I don't think I'm ready for anyone else to know. Just between you and me, alright?"

She nodded.

"Just you and me, brother mine. This is your tale to tell, not mine."

She winked again and then waltzed out the door as if we'd talked about nothing more than today's weather forecast. I shook my head and chuckled. _She sure is something else...._ I sighed and stretched out, feeling my back pop in a few places. I got up and turned the computer on. While everything was loading I showered, got dressed and gathered my books so I had everything I'd need for class. I forced myself to not log in yet and instead went downstairs to have some breakfast.

When I got in the kitchen, I saw a note on the table. It was from Mom. She had gone out for the day to run errands. She had made a skillet breakfast for me, leaving it in the oven to warm. _I do love that woman's cooking! Yum!_ As I was tucking into my breakfast, Rose breezed through, grinned and yelled over her shoulder.

"Think about it, brother mine!"

I had the house to myself now. I knew I was alone, because Dad always left the house at the crack of dawn to get to work. The joys of Army life, I guess. I grinned. _At least we're not on a base this time. Thank God he was transferred to a recruiting position._ I polished off the rest of the food quickly, cleaned my dishes, and all but ran up the stairs to my room. It wasn't the schoolwork I was anxious to get to. I knew that Edward would be at work by now, and that it would be unlikely that he'd be on IM. Part of me hoped that maybe, just maybe, he'd pop online, because had hinted that he might.

Talking to Rosalie had left me feeling a little bolder than I had before, and I really didn't want to wait until our...._say it, Jasper, your date!...._ tonight to talk to him.

I logged on, putting myself on invisible so I could get some work done, but still keep an eye out for him. I gathered my things, logged onto the program for school and set to work. I found myself having to re-read things, because my mind kept coming back to Edward. I kept going over what we talked about the night before, and the conversation Rose and I had this morning. I pushed my books aside and rested my arms on my desk, leaning my head on them. Maybe Rose was right.

I glanced at my screen and smiled. He'd logged on. I sat up and quickly opened an IM.

**Jazzman: **Hey you. Shouldn't you be working? ;-)

**EACullen: **Yeah, don't tell the boss I'm on here, instead ;-)

**Jazzman: **The boss? Isn't your Dad your boss?

**EACullen: **Exactly ;-)

**Jazzman: **tsk tsk, shame on you, Edward ;-). But I'm glad you're on. :-)

**EACullen: **Me too. I can't seem to get anything done around here. My mind keeps wandering... ;-)

I grinned. _Sounds like me... wonder if his mind is going in a similar direction as mine....._ I felt a little bolder at the thought.

**Jazzman: ***chuckles* What's got you so distracted then?

**EACullen: **Oh I don't know.... I keep seeing these blue-green eyes ;-)

My heart started beating just a little faster. _He's thinking of me. That's good, right?_

**Jazzman: ** Oh really? Who might those eyes belong to?

**EACullen: **Mmm.. just a guy I bumped into yesterday. Kinda cute, has an impish smile that'll melt your heart.... ;-)

**Jazzman:** You don't say....

I felt that smile pull at my lips as I read that. I chuckled softly. _He thinks I'm cute... wait, can guys be cute? _I frowned at myself. _Whatever, Jasper. You know you think he is, too. Now enough with the self-rebutal. _

**EACullen: **I have to go, have a lunch appointment. Will you be on later?

**Jazzman: ** Sure. Later.

I felt disappionted that he had to leave. Did he have a lunch date? Who was he seeing? The small stab of jealousy took me by surprise. _Hmm._ I shook it off for now. I'd be seeing him tonight, if not before on IM again. I went downstairs to get some lunch of my own. _Even if he has a lunch date, it's not like you can expect him to give up other people for you. You're not together or anything._ The thought made me stop. The sandwich I had made hovering halfway to my mouth. Together. With Edward? Did I want that? Was that even possible? I mean, really possible? I finished my lunch and went back to my computer. He wasn't back on yet, so I tried to get some more work done. As soon as he logged back on, I shot him an IM.

**Jazzman:** Did you have a nice lunch date?

I held my breath, not sure if I really wanted to know the answer.

**EACullen: **Lunch date? Yeah, I guess you could say that, though I wouldn't call Emmett a "date" to his face, if I were you. ;-) *chuckles*

I let out the breath I'd been holding with a big _whoosh_, relief flooding me at the same time as embarrassment did.

**EACullen: ** I haven't had a "date" in a while, Jazz. But speaking of which. I'll be a little late tonight for ours. My lunch with Emmett ran later than I thought, so I need to make up for it after work. I should only be about half an hour later though.

My face burned as I read his response. _God, what must he think of me? _ I was glad he still wanted to get together.

**Jazzman: ***blush* Sure, no problem.

**EACullen: **So what kind of classes are you taking? Getting anything done today? ;-)

I took a moment to think about my answer, and decided to be honest.

**Jazzman: **It's nothing, really. Mostly for fun. I'm going for my Bachelor's in History. Ashford U? As for getting anything done. I think I have a similar problem to yours, but the eyes I keep seeing are emerald. ;-)

I wondered what he would make of that last sentence. I felt my face flush again. I don't think I could've ever said this to his face. At least, not yet.

**EACullen: **A BA in history? Cool. If I recall, you always were interested in the subject. Doesn't surprise me you're pursuing it.

**Jazzman: **Yeah. Not sure what I'll be doing with it once I've got it, but then I don't really need to.

**EACullen: **Because of the inheritance? I seem to remember you talking about something like that at camp.....

**Jazzman: **Yup.

Everything went quiet for a while, and I frowned. _Maybe something came up that required his attention. He's at work after all!_ I scolded myself. After a few minutes though, I couldn't help myself.

**Jazzman: **Hello? You still there?

Nothing. I sat staring at the IM for another couple of minutes before I got an answer back.

**EACullen: **Yeah, sorry... my Dad walked in unannounced. He needs me to look at his laptop, so I'm going to have to go. Sorry.

I chuckled. _Hmm..._ I grinned as I typed.

**Jazzman: **It's cool. *chuckles* Your Dad walked in huh. Good thing you were at work then ;-). If you'd been at home, it might have been even more embarrassing. ;-)

**EACullen: **When did you become such a tease, Jazz?

_When, indeed?_ I chuckled again. I knew I hadn't said much, but that the implication was there.

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**A/N: I'm spoiling you all rotten, I think. Don't get used to it. It's just that the boys have not stopped talking, which means I keep writing ^_~.**

**Reviews make them talk even more, it seems, so..... **

**You know where to go ^_~**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **** Thanks to both lambcullen and Isabella303, my beta-fish ^_~. **

**Thanks also, to Forksreverie. **

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. Though I love watching the boys play Truth or Dare ^_~ **

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EPOV

I took the laptop to my Dad's office after I figured out what was wrong with it. He was on the phone with his back facing me when I arrived, so I waited just inside the door until he was done. He looked a little startled when he turned back to his desk to hang up the phone, and saw me standing there.

"Hey Dad. Laptop's fixed." I held it up and smirked at him.

"You should know by now not to try and delete anything from the programs, Dad, really how many times now? Four?" I chuckled softly, my eyes dancing with mirth, as I watched him slump in his seat and place a hand over his forehead.

"Again? I apologize, Son. I promise you, no more accidentally deleting anything. Next time, I'll go straight to you." He chuckled and shook his head.

"Really, Edward. Thank you, and I am sorry."

"Sure thing. Now, if you don't mind, Dad, I've got to be somewhere, and I'm already running late." I grinned. I think I looked a little too excited, because he got _that_ look on his face again; that 'knowing' look. The look that meant I could expect to hear from my Mother in the next couple of days. I mentally groaned.

"Enjoy your evening, Edward." He smirked a little. _Does he know I have a date? Nah...he can't. Can he?_

I spun around to leave, and waved goodbye over my shoulder. "See you in the morning, Dad!"

I hurried over to Pike's Place, where we'd agreed to meet. I parked my car at the Market Garage, thanking the heavens above for being able to even find an empty place to pull into at this hour. I walked quickly to the information booth to meet Jasper, loosening the knot on my tie, and undoing the top 2 buttons of my shirt as I went.

I grinned as I spotted him, his back to me as he looked at the information board. Stopping right behind him, I cleared my throat and cocked a brow, as he turned on his heels. I would have loved to have done a multitude of other things instead, but knew I had to be patient with him. _Don't want to run him off! _

"Fancy meeting you here," I smirked and winked at him. He chuckled.

"Yes, fancy that. _Total_ surprise." He grinned, rolling his eyes a little.

"So, any preference as to where we eat? I'm starving!"

He shook his head, and I looked at the board for a moment.

"Ah, Kells Irish Restaurant & Pub okay with you? The food's pretty good." I looked at him questioningly.

"Sure."

We walked in comfortable silence to the pub, and sat down at a table in a quiet corner. The waitress came and took our order, a pint of Guinness off the tap each and an Irish Cheese Plate to share.

Jasper looked around for a while, taking in the surroundings appreciatively and I smiled as I watched him, taking the opportunity to ogle while his attention was elsewhere. He was wearing a powder blue T-shirt and black jeans, his black leather jacket already slung over the back of his chair. His hair was still slightly damp, and I briefly let myself entertain the image of Jasper in the shower. _Good God, how am I supposed to go through training and classes now? We can't exactly avoid the whole being naked thing at the swimming hall! _I felt myself get hard and groaned softly as I tried to surreptitiously adjust myself. He caught me though, raising a brow in question.

"Nothing." I mumbled, feeling my face turn red.

He didn't say anything, but his lips turned up in that impish smile of his, and he had that knowing look in his eyes. _What is with that today? Am I _that_ fucking transparent all of a sudden?_ I rolled my eyes and shrugged. Just then the waitress came back with our beers and the cheese plate. _Thank God!_ I took a long pull off my drink before starting on the food.

"So how was the rest of your day? Anything exciting happen after I logged off?" I grinned at him.

"Oh yes, tons. Reading about the Civil War always gets me excited."

He snickered and winked at me. I blinked. _He.. what..??_ I frowned slightly for a moment before grinning. _Oh really..!_

"It does, huh? And why would that be, exactly?"

We talked about his interest in the Civil War for a while; the only interruption being the waitress asking if we wanted anything else. We got another pint each as well as some water, I ordered the Shepherd's Pie and Jazz went with the Irish Stew. We continued talking about his classes until our food came, and then we ate quietly. Just enjoying the food, and the company.

_This feels right. How do I let him know that I want more, without scaring him off?_ I looked at Jasper, having already finished my food, as he ate the last of his. _I want to be closer, to touch him, feel him._ I stifled a groan. _Stop that right now! You have to be patient with him. _I smiled at him as he pushed his plate away.

"Good?"

"Yeah, I'm glad you suggested the place. Definitely worth coming back to." He had that impish smile again, making me want to reach over the table, and kiss him senseless. Instead, I cleared my throat and nodded.

The waitress came with our bill, I tried to grab it, but he beat me to it this time, scowling at me.

"My turn!" He growled at me.

_God, is it bad that just turned me on? _I raised my hands in defeat, smirking. As we waited on the waitress to bring his change, we talked about the rest of the evening. Again, neither of us really wanted it to end. It seemed there just wasn't enough time, ever.

He had mentioned Rose had dropped him off at the Market, so I offered him a ride home. At least it would give me a little more time with him. When we got to my car, he stopped a few feet away, looking from it to me in apparent confusion. I glanced at him, trying to keep my expression blank.

"Something wrong, Jasper?"

I studied his face, seeing a wide range of emotions flicker over it. I had to fight really hard to not start grinning, as I saw him go from shock, to awe. It changed to a look of tenderness, and it was all I could do to not take the few steps between us, grab him and kiss him, or do more. I couldn't remember anyone else ever having that effect on me. _He has to understand...._

"You... put a bike rack on your car... for me?" His eyes were on me, and his mouth was open a little. I think he was still in shock and I simply nodded.

"Edward....I don't know what to say..."

He ran a hand through his hair. _God, what I wouldn't give to be able to read your mind right now._

"It's okay. Come on, let's get you home."

I smiled at him, as he walked the last few steps to the car and climbed in. He was silent the whole ride home, staring at me. I wish I knew what was going through his head. The silence was comfortable, though, and I hoped that whatever was going through his mind was positive.

After a few directions from him, we arrived at his parent's house. I parked the car out of sight of the windows, not wanting him to leave. He was still watching me as I turned toward him. He gave me a tentative smile, which I returned.

I needed to touch him, so I lifted my hand to his cheek, and brushed my fingers against it softly. _You can't kiss him. If he kisses you, fine__, but don't initiate __things yet._

"I had a nice time tonight, Jasper. Thank you." I whispered.

"I did, too. I still can't believe you got a bike rack on your car." He chuckled softly, as he placed his hand over mine, holding it to his cheek. I felt as if a small charge was running through me, emanating from his touch.

"Anything for you, Jazz."

I really would do anything for him, I was certain of that. He took my hand then, and squeezed it lightly. It seemed like he wanted to say or do something more, but I wasn't certain. So I just gave him a squeeze back and sighed softly.

"I suppose you'd better go. See you at training tomorrow?"

"Yeah...." He frowned. "See you at training then."

He let go of my hand and got out of the car. He ran to the house. I wasn't sure why that bothered me, but it made my heart twinge a little. I frowned as I pulled away after having made sure he'd gotten inside. As soon as I returned home, I went straight to bed; lying there for a while, thinking about Jasper.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The rest of the week was spent in a similar pattern. We'd talk on IM whenever we could, discussing a multitude of things. Sometimes it was memories from camp, other times about what was going on in our lives now, and about our families. It felt great to reconnect again, and the tie I felt to Jasper seemed to grow stronger by the second. I only hoped he felt the same way. Besides work, there was swimming class and training. I was usually careful to time things so I wouldn't be in the showers at the same time as him. I don't think I would have been able to help myself otherwise, and I knew I needed to respect his wishes.

At the last training before Saturday's game though, as we were wrapping up the session, I slipped.

"Hey, Jazz....? Give me a hand putting the goal away, would you?"

Emmett, who was standing right next to Jasper, gave me a pointed look as he caught the nickname. _Shit. _

"Sure." He walked up and helped me pull the goal from the water and put it back against the wall. I tried to ignore Emmett, but I could feel his eyes on us and it made me feel nervous. He didn't say anything as we all headed to shower and change. _This can't last..._I sighed, knowing I was in trouble.

I had offered Jasper a ride home, so I put his bike on the bike rack. Just as I secured it, Emmett walked up to me with a shit eating grin on his face. I groaned and glanced at Jasper. _Please forgive me for what is sure to transpire._

"So!" Emmett rubbed his hands together, as his eyes shifted from the bike rack, to me, then to Jasper and back to me again. He wiggled his eyebrows at me, and I just leaned my head against the side of the car.

"Spit it out, Emmett. I know you want to."

I kept my eyes on Jasper, worried about his reaction.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just didn't realize that the doohickey I put on your car was to score points with your boyfriend, is all. Nice touch." He winked at me and I stifled another groan, as I saw Jasper's face turn all shades of red. He stayed quiet though, seemingly in shock, if the widened eyes were anything to go by. My stomach clenched with nerves.

I hissed. "Thanks, Emmett…"

He just chuckled and punched Jasper in the arm.

"It's cool, bro."

He leaned in to whisper loudly in Jasper's ear.

"You could do a lot worse than Copper Top over there."

He stood back and winked at Jasper. Then turned around to smirk at me and walked off without another word. Jasper just stood there.

Shell shocked.

I sighed. _This is not good....Please, please don't freak out._ I rubbed my face a few times and walked up to him. _I am going to kill you, Emmett....._I placed my hand on Jasper's cheek, my eyes on his. He blinked, coming out of the daze he'd been in.

"I'm sorry, Jazz. Emmett can be... a bit much at times. He means well, though. Are you alright?"

I whispered, my thumb gently stroking his cheekbone. He nodded, took a deep breath and smiled shyly. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding as I heard him answer.

"Yeah."

I took him home after that and the ride was spent in quiet contemplation. I had to admit that I liked hearing Emmett refer to Jazz as my boyfriend. I just wasn't sure if Jazz was ready for that yet. As soon as I got home, I logged onto my computer again, and we talked for about an hour, mostly about what had happened after training. One message kept me awake for hours after I'd gone to bed.

**Jazzman: **Don't be too mad at Emmett. Now that I've had some time to process things.... I kinda liked he thought I was your boyfriend.......*blush*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The only other real deviation to my routine was lunch on Friday. It was the day before the game. I had known this was coming, but I had hoped it would be a while yet before my Mother would show up. Nope, today was the day she came by and asked me to lunch. I knew she and Dad had been talking. I'd caught Dad walking by my office several times, mostly while I was chatting with Jasper. I'd always blush, and he always walked off with that smirk on his face. The talk would be inevitable.

Mom and I were seated opposite each other at the diner across the street from the office. Esme was in her mid-forties, but she didn't look it. Her eyes were the same green as mine, and were currently fixed on me. Her caramel colored hair fell in gentle waves down to her shoulders. She was dressed casually, but classy, wearing a dark blue pantsuit that hugged her curves.

I was fidgeting, wishing I could avoid talking about this, but I knew it was inevitable. Mom smiled gently at me as she patted my hand.

"Talk to me, Son. Something's going on with you, and I have a feeling it's about a boy."

I cringed slightly but nodded. With a sigh, I gave in, and looked at her as I began.

"You're right. Something is going on, and yes it has to do with a boy."

"So, tell me about him. Do we know him?"

It never ceased to amaze me how accepting both Mom and Dad were about things. It had never fazed her in the slightest, and after the initial shock, Dad had been great as well. I smiled at her.

"No, you don't know him. He's fairly new in town. But I've known him for a while now."

She raised an eyebrow at this, but remained quiet.

"I suppose I should start at the beginning. Remember camp 10 years ago?"

"I do. You were most distraught when you got home, and you never did tell us what happened then."

"Well, let me tell you now then...."

I launched into the story, from Laurent's bottle of whiskey, to the Truth or Dare game we played, to the kiss, and the following weeks including those last days. She just watched me closely as I spoke. When I told her that Jazz was actually Jasper from the club, her eyes widened.

"So are you telling me that you're seeing him again? That you still feel the same about him?"

"You could say that. We're not there yet, Mom, but I want to be, yes."

"Oh honey..." She frowned a little. I could understand her worry, but didn't feel the need for it. I explained to her that Jasper had told me why he had done what he did back then, and her eyes softened.

"Poor thing. To have to make a choice like that, and so young! How is he now? Do you know?"

"Yeah, I don't think Jazz is as lucky as I was in that department." I winked at her. "I'm not sure how he is, to be honest. I can tell he feels the same, but I know he's still scared. He said he'd like to try though....so I'm hopeful."

I sighed and looked down at my hands as I folded them, putting them on the table. She leaned forward and placed her hand over mine, squeezing gently.

"I hope things work out for you, my dear. You seem a lot happier than I've seen you in a while. Just remember, your Father and I are here if you need us; Jasper, too, if it comes to that. If you want him as part of your life, then he is a part of ours, as well. When you're both ready, I hope you will introduce him to us."

I looked up at her, smiling. I felt my eyes sting as tears threatened to come forward at her words.

"I love you, Mom, so much. Thank you."

I got up and walked over to her, hugging her tight. She hugged me back, chuckling softly.

"I love you, too, Edward. Now I suggest we actually eat something before your lunch is up. I wouldn't want your Father to be upset at me for making you late."

She winked as she tucked into her sandwich. I sat back down and started eating. _How did I get so lucky?_

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**A/N: Thank you, Isabella303, for giving us Copper Top!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **** Thanks to both lambcullen and Isabella303, my beta-fish ^_~.**

**Thanks to ForksReverie, too ^_^**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. But I do love the idea of getting my boys wet and..... ^_~**

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JPOV

_Good God, when did I turn into such a girl?_

I raked my fingers through my hair in frustration. I stood by my bed, contemplating several clothing options. I was starting to feel a little queasy, I was so nervous.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" I yelled into the room, as I grabbed my blue shirt, black jeans, some socks and boxer briefs and walked to the bathroom. I placed everything neatly by the sink, along with a towel and turned on the shower as hot as I could stand it.

I saw my reflection in the mirror and sighed. _Pull yourself together, man. It's just dinner with Edward. _I stepped under the scalding water, letting the heat soak my body, before turning the temperature down slightly. I took my time, hoping to still my nerves. It helped a little.

I was not sure I could do this, going forward with Edward, and trying to see if we could be more than friends. I wanted to know if there was more to us than our past. I just didn't exactly have a whole lot of experience, and the feeling of being out of my depth was a little scary. I would do as Rosalie said though; I'd try and follow my heart. Edward seemed interested enough in giving it a shot. I just hoped he would be okay with taking things slow.

I still hadn't figured everything out yet. Like how to tell Mom and Dad. Thinking about them had my stomach doing flip flops all over again.

The water started to run cold, so I quickly turned it off, and stepped out of the shower. I toweled off, trying not to think about questions I couldn't answer right now. Instead, I wondered how I was going to get to Pike's Place. I could take my bike, but I didn't like the idea of leaving it there for any length of time.

Just as I finished getting dressed, Rosalie walked into my room. _Perfect!_

"Good timing, sis!"

She shot me a glare and frowned.

"What do you want from me, brother mine? People who start off sentences with 'good timing' _always_ want something."

I chuckled. _Ahh, you know me too well, Rosie. _

"You're right. I do want something from you. I was hoping you'd give me a ride to Pike's Place? I'm meeting Edward."

I lowered my voice a little, blushing. "...for a date."

I watched her reaction, feeling a little anxious despite our earlier conversation. I needn't have worried though.

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise and she smirked, folding her arms across her chest.

"Jasper, I didn't think you had it in you. Well, not this quickly, anyway. Sure, anything to help a brother in love."

She chuckled and winked. I smiled at her words. _In love..? Could I..? _ I thought for a moment. _Yeah, I guess I could..._ With that, the butterflies made themselves known again. _Gah!_

"Too bad I don't have my new car yet. That's what I came to tell you about. I found the perfect one."

Then, she launched into how she'd tried several places without any luck, how she'd come home and surfed the net for an hour, before finally finding _the_ car for her. A Tesla: a hybrid sports vehicle. She'd printed out a picture of the one she liked, and I had to admit that the fire engine red suited her to a T. Unfortunately there were no sellers in Washington State yet, so she had placed an order with one in California. Her reasoning was that she could fly down, spend a few days in California to shop, and then drive the new car home, making a road trip out of it.

_That's my Rosie!_

After she was done with her car talk, she asked about Edward. I told her a little about the IM'ing we'd been doing earlier in the day. She chuckled at the fact that his Dad had caught him at work. She wanted to meet him, but I wasn't quite ready for that just yet. I promised I'd introduce her soon though, or I would never have heard the end of it.

About 45 minutes later, she had dropped me off at Pike's Place. I was standing there waiting for Edward at the Information Board, checking out places to eat. Suddenly, I heard someone clear their throat behind me, and I spun around. The sight that met my eyes was truly something to behold.

_Fuck. Me. _

He was wearing a dark gray suit with a white button down shirt, the two top buttons undone, and his tie hanging loosely around his neck. His hair was its usual disheveled self, but somehow that made him look even hotter. Thoughts of grabbing him by the tie and pulling him to me while kissing him hungrily chased through my mind briefly. I gulped a little, trying to regain a measure of composure and settle down the butterflies currently frolicking in my stomach.

"Fancy meeting you here." He smirked and winked at me, chuckling.

"Yes, fancy that. _Total_ surprise." I smirked back and rolled my eyes a little. _Smart ass.... _

"So, any preference as to where we eat? I'm starving!"

I shook my head, and he turned his attention to the board for a moment. I didn't think I'd be able to say anything more, without making a complete ass of myself. I was still a little fazed by him.

"Ah, Kells Irish Restaurant & Pub okay with you? The food's pretty good." He looked at me questioningly.

"Sure." _I think I'd go to the end of the world with you, looking like that.... Okay, Jazz, simmer down! Sheesh!_

We walked to the pub in silence and found a nice table in the corner. The waitress came and took our order, a pint of Guinness off the tap each and an Irish Cheese Plate to share.

I looked around for a while, taking in the surroundings but was drawn back to Edward, as I heard him groan softly and caught him trying to adjust himself. He was trying to be inconspicuous about it, and I raised a brow in question.

"Nothing." He mumbled, and I saw his face turn red.

_Well, not too hard to guess where his mind was at._ _That blush speaks volumes._

I didn't say anything, but I felt a smile tug at my lips, as I looked at him. Just then, the waitress came back with our beers and the cheese plate. He took a long pull off his drink before starting on the food. I shook my head for a moment before following suit.

_He seems as nervous as I am about this. _The realization had a soothing effect on my own nerves.

"So, how was the rest of your day? Anything exciting happen after I logged off?" He grinned at me.

I decided to have some fun with him.

"Oh yes, tons. Reading about the Civil War always gets me excited."

I snickered and winked at him. He blinked and frowned slightly for a moment, before grinning.

"It does, huh. And why would that be, exactly?"

We continued on the subject of the Civil War, and my classes up until dinner came. We ate in comfortable silence. It felt good to just _be together_. It felt right, somehow. It definitely helped calm my nerves, as well as giving me some resolve.

He smiled as I pushed my plate away.

"Good?"

"Yeah, I'm glad you suggested the place. Definitely worth coming back to." I smirked at him. _Hopefully with you....._

He cleared his throat and nodded in agreement. Just then the waitress came with our bill. He tried to grab it, but I beat him to it this time, I scowled at him.

"My turn!" I growled at him. I hadn't forgotten what he had said last night.

He raised his hands in defeat, smirking. As we waited for the waitress to bring my change, we talked about the rest of the evening. Neither of us really wanted it to end so soon.

He offered me a ride after I had mentioned that I had Rose drop me off at the Market earlier. I was happy he wanted the extra time alone. When we got to his car, I stopped a few feet away, confused and stunned by what I saw.

"Something wrong, Jasper?" He asked with a blank expression on his face.

I was shocked! _Did he do this for me? I don't remember him saying he owned a bike. He can't seriously just have put it on because of me? What does that mean?_

My eyes turned back to his.

"You put a bike rack on your car? For me?"

I was slack jawed. He simply nodded.

"Edward....I don't know what to say..."

I ran a hand through my hair._ No one has _ever_ done something like this for me before. _

"It's ok. Come on, let's get you home."

The whole ride home, I sat staring at him. I wouldn't have been able to talk if I'd wanted to, because my mind was going a mile a minute. My thoughts were completely scattered.

_Why would he do something like that? Does he care about me? Could he love me? How can I show him how much it means to me? I want to... what _do_ I want? _

_Do I want to kiss him?_

I had to give him directions to get to my place, and we got there much faster than I would've liked. He stopped the car far enough away that no one would be able to see us from the house, a gesture I very much appreciated. I smiled shyly at him as he turned in his seat. Both wishing and fearing that he would lean over and just kiss me like he had at camp, taking the decision out of my hands because I was too scared to make that first move. Though at this point, I wouldn't be able to tell you what, exactly, I feared any more.

He lifted his hand to my cheek, brushing his fingers against it softly. The butterflies had made an immediate return and my heart started beating faster. _Is he going to kiss me? _

"I had a nice time tonight, Jasper. Thank you." He whispered.

"I did, too. I still can't believe you got a bike rack on your car."

I chuckled softly, and placed my hand over his, holding it to my cheek. It felt good to touch him, the current between us spread through me like a gentle wave. I craved more.

"Anything for you, Jazz."

I believed him. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch him, kiss him, hold him close. Instead, I took his hand and squeezed it lightly. He squeezed back with a soft sigh.

"I suppose you'd better go. See you at training tomorrow?"

"Yeah...."

I frowned.

_I don't want to go. Ask me to stay longer. Ask me to come home __with you. _

"See you at training then."

I reluctantly let go of his hand, and got out of the car. I ran up to the house, needing to get to the safety of my room and try to reign in my feelings. Being this close to him, even for the short period of time it had been, seemed to magnify everything, and it frightened the crap out of me. I didn't look back to see if he left and went straight to my room. I checked my e-mail as usual, and then went to bed. I lay awake for hours, thinking about what had happened. And what hadn't happened. Thinking about Edward.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The rest of the week went by in similar fashion. I spent time on my class work, we'd IM every chance we got. We talked about anything and everything, his work, my classes, camp, family. Just getting to know each other again and it felt good to reconnect with him. The tie between us just seemed to be getting stronger. I grew more and more comfortable with the idea of 'us'.

Being at the swimming club was definitely interesting. Edward was trying really hard to respect my need for privacy, and was hardly ever in the showers at the same time as me. Though I appreciated this a lot, a part of me did not mind seeing him there. It wasn't like I hadn't seen him naked before. It was kind of difficult not to, considering we spent so much time at the swimming club, but it felt different now.

We were wrapping up the last training session before Saturday's game when Edward asked me to help him put the goal back in its place. I walked up, helped him pull it out of the water, and put it against the wall. After we were done, I noticed Emmett watching us. _Odd, wonder what's up with him. _We all went in to shower and change.

Edward was giving me a ride home and was putting my bike on the rack. He was securing it, when Emmett walked up to him, wearing a shit eating grin on his face. I heard Edward groan as he glanced at me. _What's going on??_

"So!" Emmett said rubbing his hands together, as his eyes shifted between us and the rack. He wiggled his eyebrows at Edward, who leaned his head against the side of the car.

"Spit it out, Emmett. I know you want to."

He kept his eyes on me, probably worried about my reaction.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just didn't realize that the doohickey I put on your car was to score points with your boyfriend, is all. Nice touch."

He winked at Edward, who stifled another groan. I knew my face was turning all shades of red, and I was stunned into silence, my eyes wide as saucers.

_How...He knows? Boyfriend? Am I his boyfriend? Does he want me to be?_ _Is that what _I _want him to be?_

I heard him hiss. "Thanks, Emmett....."

Emmett just chuckled and punched me in the arm.

"It's cool, bro."

He leaned in to whisper loudly in my ear.

"You could do a lot worse than Copper Top over there."

He stood back and winked at me. Then turned around to smirk at Edward and walked off without another word.

I just stood there; still numb with shock at what had just happened.

I heard him sigh, as he rubbed his face a few times and walked up to me. He placed a hand on my cheek, his eyes on mine. I blinked, coming out of the daze I'd been in.

"I'm sorry, Jazz. Emmett can be... a bit much at times. He means well, though. Are you alright?"

He whispered, his thumb gently stroking my cheekbone. I shivered at his touch and nodded. I took a deep breath and smiled shyly.

"Yeah."

_I just feel like I've been hit in the solar plexus, but I'm just fine.... Emmett knows...He seemed fine with it, though. Maybe...._

The ride home was spent in silence. After he dropped me off, I went straight to my computer. I was mulling over how I felt about what had happened with Emmett. It surprised me a little to find that the thought of Edward as my boyfriend gave me a sense of peace. I liked the thought of it. I saw him log on and my heart raced. We chatted for about an hour. He had seemed a bit on edge after Emmett's comment, but he was worried about how I felt. I decided to tell him now, hoping he would be OK with it.

I blushed fiercely as I typed.

**Jazzman: **Don't be too mad at Emmett. Now that I've had some time to process things.... I kinda liked that he thought I was your boyfriend.......*blush*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was game day. Rosalie was coming with me for moral support. This was my first game on this team, and she usually came to watch me play. It was also a good time for me to introduce her to Edward. I was already dressed and ready to go, but she was taking her sweet time. _As usual! _I grumbled as I knocked on her door.

"Come on, Rose! Hurry up! I'm going to be late if we don't leave soon!"

Luckily the game was to be held at our club, so I didn't have to worry about traveling too far in that respect.

"Hold your horses! I'm coming, I'm coming."

She opened her door and put her hands on her hips, her head tilted to the side. She was wearing formfitting, faded blue jeans with a red gypsy top which fell off the shoulders. Her golden blond hair was pinned up by the sides, allowing it to fall down her back while keeping it out of her face. She could have been a runway model considering how she carried herself and the pride she took in her appearance. Oddly enough, as much as she cared about that, her heart lay with cars. Anything with an engine, she loved.

I let out a low whistle as I took her in.

"Damn, sis...... You do know this is just a water polo game, right?"

I winked at her and grinned. I grabbed her by the hand as she rolled her eyes at me.

"Come on! We're late. I still need to change and stuff when I get there."

"Alright, alright!"

She was driving, so I should have known better than to worry about being late. We made it to the swimming hall with time to spare. I shook my head at her and headed in. I had told her to just find a seat in the stands which were by the side of the pool, and I'd meet her there as soon as I was showered and changed.

Emmett, Tyler and Edward were already in the locker room and in their swimming trunks. I hurried and followed after them as they walked into the swimming hall. Emmett stopped dead in his tracks, which was unfortunate for me, as I was walking right behind him. I ran hard into him.

"Ow! What the fuck, Emmett?"

I side stepped him and followed his gaze to where Rosalie sat. I chuckled as I turned my attention back at him and slapped a hand on his shoulder.

"I see you've noticed my sister."

He nodded, still stunned, but cleared his throat, and looked down at me.

"Shit, bro. _That_ is your sister?"

"The one and only Rosalie Hale." I chuckled.

"Hot damn!"

Edward rolled his eyes at Emmett and shoved him forward.

"C'mon, man, we have to get the nail check over with, and it's time to start. You can fawn over his sister after we've played the game."

I couldn't stop chuckling as I noticed that Rose had spotted us, her eyes fixed on Emmett.

_Oh, _this_ should be good! _

I winked at Edward and tilted my head to Rose, he grinned back as he saw her intent gaze still on Emmett. He leaned to me and whispered quietly, his breath sending shivers down my spine as it hit my ear.

"Looks like this could become interesting. Are you going to introduce them?"

I whispered back.

"I don't think I'll have much choice in that matter, if I know my sister. I'm kinda partial to keeping everything intact, if you know what I mean."

I smirked at him, enjoying the slight blush that crept up his cheeks at my words. I heard him clear his throat, before he turned his attention to the referee that was checking everyone's nails. Both feet and hands were inspected, because no one wanted to get scratched.

Once the check was over, we put on our caps. We had blue this time, the opposing team had chosen white. Emmett, being the goalie had the cap with red ear covers so the referees would be able to distinguish him.

I looked over the team and smiled. To others, it might seem a haphazard bunch, but we all worked well together. Emmett, Edward, Bella, Alice and I were the core group. With the exception of me, they'd been together the longest. The others hadn't played as long, but were good and loved the game. Tyler, Ben, Angela, Vicky, Eric, Kirk, Demetri and Felix made up the rest of the team. Everyone was ready. I was excited for this game, as we stood a good chance of winning against this team. I'd played them before, albeit when I'd been on another team. I knew they weren't nearly as good as we were.

I glanced at Edward and grinned at the look of concentration on his face. As we were about to jump in the water, I quickly waved to Rose. I saw her wave back right as I jumped in the water. Half the team was on the sideline, since we were only allowed 7 in the water at a time, including the goalie. The other team didn't have as many replacements, which would work in our favor. They'd tire more easily as they couldn't swap players out as often. Edward, Alice and I set up for the swim-off; Alice, being the fish she was, got to the ball first and played it back to me.

Game on!

Everyone got a turn to be in the water. Emmett got his chance to show off his goalie skills several times. One of those times, I'd been on the side, and checked Rose's reaction as he caught the ball. I smirked at her as she caught my eye. She actually blushed. _Yep, looks like she definitely likes the look of him._ Felix was out for the rest of the game after one of the other team's players had kicked him in the face as he was trying to get away from him. Whether it was accidental or not, no one knew, but it had been called as a foul, which ended with a goal on our side from the free throw.

I was on the side a second time, this time to allow Angela some playtime, and I watched as Edward pump-faked the ball once before throwing it smack in the middle of the goal, their goalie having fallen for the tactic and lunged himself to the left. The game ended with that goal and I whooped and hollered with the rest of the team at the final score. We had won, with 4 points up. Everyone got out of the water, and we all shook hands with the opposing team members. It felt great. I watched Edward as he congratulated everyone for a game well played. The look of pride and exultation was apparent, and his smile was wide and genuine. He looked beautiful, and I felt a little weak at the knees.

"Congratulations, brother mine! You guys did good."

I turned around and made as if to hug Rosalie, who had walked up to us. She glared at me as she stepped back with a hiss.

"Don't you _dare_, Jazz!"

I chuckled, holding my hands up in surrender. I glanced at Emmett, who stood frozen next to me, his eyes fixed on Rose. She was trying to not look at him, to put up her usual front like she did whenever she met people. _I wish she would stop keeping people out._

"Rosalie, I'd like you to meet the team."

I pointed everyone out to her and she nodded at each in turn, for the entire world appearing cool and collected. When I got to Edward, her eyes flashed to me, her brow raised. I nodded back, confirming that this was indeed _the_ Edward. She surprised me by actually holding out her hand to him.

"Edward, pleased to meet you. I'm Rosalie, Jazzie's big sister."

I cringed at the use of the nickname.

"Rose...!" I whined softly.

She gave me a pointed look, letting me know to just take it and be glad. I sighed and shrugged.

Edward shook her hand and smiled at her.

"Nice to meet you, as well. I've heard a great deal about you."

_Well, this is a start. At least they're not at each other's throats. Yet._ I knew my sister could be a piece of work when she chose to be. I sighed in relief and turned to Emmett, curious to see this play out.

"And this is Emmett."

He quickly held his hand out to her and I smirked as she took it. He surprised us all by bringing it to his lips and kissing it, rather than shake it. Rose and I looked at each other with matching raised brows. I heard Edward snickering next to me, so I lightly elbowed him in the side. _Please don't piss her off._ He stopped at once, clearing his throat. Neither Emmett nor Rose had uttered a word yet.

"Right. Well. Rose, we need to go take a shower and get dressed and stuff. See you in the hall?"

"Uhm. What? Oh! Yes, of course. I'll see you in a few, Jasper."

I just shook my head as I walked to the locker room, Edward right behind me, snickering softly again.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **** Thanks to ForksReverie for stepping in as my beta-fish ^_~.**

**Thanks also to JayceStorm (who also writes a cool E/J fic, called What Was I Thinking. Go check it out ^_~)**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. But I do love like to watch my boys score ^_~**

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EPOV

The game had been intense. I knew that the team we were playing wasn't as good as we were, but still. We won and I had made the final goal. I was proud of the team. Every one of them had played well, and poor Felix had even gotten injured in the process. We had just finished shaking hands with the other team when I saw Jasper's sister walk up to us.

"Congratulations, brother mine! You guys did good."

He turned around and made as if to hug Rosalie, who had walked up to us. She glared at him as she stepped back with a hiss.

"Don't you _dare_, Jazz!"

He chuckled and held his hands up in surrender. He glanced at Emmett, who stood frozen next to him, his eyes fixed on Rose. I could tell that she was trying hard to not look at him. _This should prove interesting.... _He introduced her to everyone and she nodded at each in turn, coming across as though she was above it all. When he got around to introducing me though, she flashed her eyes to Jasper before putting her hand out to greet me.

"Edward, pleased to meet you. I'm Rosalie, Jazzie's big sister."

I saw him cringe at the use of the nickname and I had to stifle a chuckle as I heard him whine a little.

"Rose...!"

_Oh Jazz, I feel for you, baby._ Even if only in my head, the term 'baby' made me pause briefly, but I quickly recovered. I _liked_ it. I shook her hand and smiled at her.

"Nice to meet you, as well; I've heard a great deal about you."

I heard Jasper let out a sigh of relief as he turned to Emmett.

"And this is Emmett."

_That seems to have gone well enough. Please Emmett, for once, try to behave yourself. _

He quickly held his hand out to her, which she slowly took. He surprised everyone by bringing it to his lips and kissing it, rather than shake it. Rose and Jazz looked at each other with matching raised brows. I started to snicker, which earned me an elbow in my side from Jasper. I stopped at once and cleared my throat. Neither Emmett nor Rose had uttered a word yet. Jasper tried to get her attention and let her know to meet us out in the hall, but it was difficult. Once that was taken care of, we walked to the locker room and I couldn't help but snicker softly again.

Emmett was getting a good ribbing from all the guys. Everyone had noticed both his rapture with Jasper's sister as well as the hand kiss. I never thought I'd see the day where Emmett McCarty blushed. But 'the' day had indeed arrived. The man was red as a lobster for the first few seconds, which was all the time it took for him to regain his usual confidant facade, and begin cracking jokes. Who knew...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I sat behind my piano, my fingers moving of their own accord. Playing had always allowed me to relax and think things through. I sighed softly as my mind wandered. Emmett and I had gone to my place after the game, as Jasper and Rosalie had to go to dinner with their parents. I longed for a day where Jasper and I could be together, without all the song and dance, but I knew I had to allow him more time.

The music shifted with my mood as my thoughts turned to the conversation with Emmett earlier.

_We'd ended up ordering pizza and having a few beers, just talking about stuff that was going on at work and the pool. We were sitting on the couch, much in the same way Bella and I had sat a few nights ago. And then he brought up Jasper. _

_"Eddie, what's going on with you and Jasper, anyway?"_

_He watched me as he took a pull from his beer. I frowned, taking a bite of pizza in order to give myself some time before having to answer. I sighed._

_"I don't know, Emmett. It's __. . .__ complicated."_

_I leaned forward, rested my elbows on my knees as I looked down at the bottle of beer in my hands. _

_"Complicated?" I could almost hear the frown I knew to be on his forehead right now._

_"Yes. Complicated."_

_I took a deep breath and looked up at him. I told him about camp, about what had happened between us and about him showing up here now, 10 years later. _

_"Emmett, I need to ask you to not...." I paused and looked at him. "Please don't make this harder for him, for us?"_

_I knew Emmett. Had known him almost as long as I'd known Bella. He had a big heart, but he could be intimidating at times. And he was usually anything but bashful. I held my breath as I waited for his reaction. He watched me for a while, and I knew he was thinking things through._

_"You love him."_

_It wasn't a question. Leave it to Emmett to not beat around the bush. I nodded, smiling softly. Having him put it into words, made it more real, somehow. If he saw it, then I couldn't be __imagining __it. That thought warmed me and it felt as if someone let loose a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. _

_"Yeah, I think so. Even back then...I don't think that it ever really went away, you know? It's not something you forget."_

_He nodded. _

_"He walked away last time... "_

_"I know, Emmett. I know." _

_I frowned as I took another pull from my beer. The thought of Jasper walking away again killed me. I didn't think I'd be able to handle that again. And then Emmett voiced my fears._

_"What happens if he does this time, bro?"_

_I didn't say anything. I couldn't. _

_"Edward."_

_I looked up at him, but I remained quiet. He sighed._

_"What happens if he decides to not go through with... whatever it is you've got going here? I remember what happened when Alec broke things off with you. You were a mess."_

_I put my beer down so I could put my hands over my face. Alec. I'd tried not to think of him, and of course Emmett had to bring it up. _

_It'd been almost a year since he left, and in retrospect I was glad he left, but it still hurt at the time. Alec had made life at the club hell for me after he broke things off between us. Everyone had been affected by his behavior. _

_Before we got together, he had not come out to anyone. He finally told his Dad after we had been together for 3 months, and it hadn't gone well. Alec was crushed by his Dad's rejection and had taken it out on everyone __else, especially me__. It was my fault. At least, if you were to ask him, it was. _

_He had been on the team with us, and things were really strained for a while. Finally after almost a month of him making everything hell for me, for us, he left. He moved away from Seattle, not leaving a forwarding address. Not that I had wanted it at that point. I had liked Alec a lot, but in the end he had managed to make me question just about everything I thought I knew about myself. And about those around me. What had started out as affection, became poison._

_It was because of him, that I never pursued anyone at the swimming club, since that was where we had met. I did not want a repeat of that. But Jasper was different. Jasper was not Alec. No matter how similar their situations might be, I had to believe that. It wasn't fair to him to compare him to Alec. _

_"Emmett." I looked up at him, and though I was slightly nauseous at the thought of history possibly repeating itself like that, I was certain of this._

_"Jasper is not Alec. That won't happen again."_

_"Alright, bro. Just remember we're all here for you, okay?" He started grinning. _

_"And if you and Jasper stick it out, maybe I can make some moves on Rosalie." _

_He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and I couldn't help myself. I started laughing. _

I looked at the clock and decided to stop playing for now. I wanted to see if Jasper was online, I needed to talk to him. Talking with Emmett had been good, but it left me feeling a little restless, I needed Jasper. I wished he were here, so I could hold him, feel him. Since that wasn't possible, I logged on the IM instead. The program had barely finished loading when he popped up.

**Jazzman:** Edward! :-D I'm glad you got online.

I smiled, a feeling of warmth and comfort settling over me at his greeting. Some of the restlessness dissipated as soon as we started talking.

**EACullen:** Hey Jazz :-D. I'm glad you're on, too. How was dinner?

**Jazzman: ***chuckles* I think Rosalie was impressed with Emmett. She wouldn't shut up about this afternoon. I don't think I've ever seen her like this before. Scratch that. I _know_ I've never seen her like this before. Emmett had better be careful ;-)

**EACullen: **lol! Yeah, I think Emmett's a bit smitten, too. He mentioned something about wanting to make a move on her, this afternoon ;-)

We talked back and forth about Emmett and Rosalie for a while.

Then I told him about the talk Emmett and I had that afternoon including the details about Alec. He was quiet for a while, and I started to get nervous.

**EACullen: **Jazz?

_I shouldn't have told him. Damnit, please say something, Jasper. Anything....._ I looked at the little clock on my screen, it felt like hours since he'd said anything. In reality, it had been 3 minutes of silence. Not for the first time, I found myself wishing I could read his mind. Not knowing what he was thinking was agony right now.

**Jazzman: **Edward... I think maybe we should talk.....

I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump that had appeared in my throat. _This can't be good.... I messed up... _

**Jazzman: **Do you think you could pick me up? Maybe go for a drive? I don't want to do this over IM. I need to see you....

_'I need to see you'... That's good, right? That can't be all bad..._ My pulse was racing, and I tried to get my nerves under control.

**EACullen: **Okay... I can be there in about 15 minutes... I'll park where I usually drop you off.

**Jazzman: ** See you in a few....

I logged off, not sure what to make of his wanting to meet face to face at this hour. Then again, it was Saturday, so I didn't have to worry about work the next day. I quickly changed into my faded jeans and navy blue button down shirt, in case he wanted to go somewhere specific. My stomach was clenching with nerves. _I shouldn't have told him about this afternoon.... _

I pulled up to his street, making sure to park out of sight and waited for him to walk out. My hands were cold and clammy with nerves. I turned the radio on, hoping that the music would help calm me. I watched as Jasper walked across the street and got in the car. He gave me a tentative smile as he buckled up.

"Hey...thanks for picking me up."

"Anytime. Where did you want to go?" I swallowed hard, still feeling unsure and anxious, but trying hard not to show him.

"Nowhere in particular, I guess."

I thought for a moment before putting the car into drive.

"Have you been to the Waterfront yet?"

He shook his head. We drove in silence until we reached our destination, the only sounds coming from the radio, which was still playing softly in the background. I parked the car and turned the engine off. I hesitated before turning to Jasper, fearing what I might see in his eyes when I looked at him. I heard him shift in his seat. I took a calming breath as my eyes met his. I wasn't sure what to say or do, so I waited for him to start.

He looked straight in my eyes, as if searching for something. What, I wasn't sure, but he must have found something. I could almost see something slip into place for him.

"Edward, I don't know what's going to happen, how things will play out..... but I'm not Alec." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I know I'm not making things easy for you. I'm sorry..."

I cringed a little at his last words.

"Jazz....we're not 16 anymore." I reached for his hand and held it in both of mine as I continued, gently rubbing my thumbs over the back of it. "I know this is ... new, for you. I get that it scares you a little and that you're worried."

My nerves seemed to calm the longer we touched. I could tell that it was like that for him, too. His shoulders relaxed visibly, and the tension from before ebbed away. A new kind of tension started to arise in its stead, however, spreading from our joined hands up through the rest of my body. I was fairly sure he could feel it, too. I linked my fingers through his and smiled softly at him, trying to keep my lust at bay. I pulled our hands to my lips and placed a soft kiss on the back of his hand, my voice was slightly huskier when I continued.

"I don't want to push you. I'm sorry I brought up Alec. I know you're not him, just talking with Emmett.... "

"I understand, Edward. Really, I do."

My voice was barely above a whisper now. I felt my stomach clench a little as my nerves made another appearance.

"I want _us _to work, Jazz, but for that to happen, we are both going to have to be honest. And you are going to have to set the pace....."

I squeezed his hand slightly, before pressing my lips against it again, lingering a little this time. He closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. The radio was still playing softly in the background, but I wasn't really paying attention to it. I frowned slightly as I saw his lips twitch. He opened his eyes and smiled. I didn't understand what was going on as he gave my hand a squeeze before letting it go. The corner of his mouth lifted further, as he watched me, his eyes showing both amusement and determination. _What on earth is going through his mind?_

He slowly lifted his hand and placed it on my cheek, stroking it gently as his eyes searched mine. He began pulling me forward at the same time as he leaned in. I hesitated, hardly believing what was going on, while fervently hoping he was going to kiss me. Everything drowned out around me, except for him.

Ever so slowly, he closed the distance between us, tilting his head a little as his lips brushed against mine. My breathing hitched, and my heart started beating faster as he pressed his lips against mine a second time. I opened my mouth slightly, inviting him in. I slid my hands up his chest to his hair and pulled him closer, tugging a little at his hair. He moaned into my mouth before pulling away from the kiss. His breathing was irregular, but the smile on his face made my heart stutter.

"I knew there was a reason I liked Cher..." He chuckled softly, his thumb caressing my cheek again as he looked into my eyes.

I frowned, confused.

"What are you..."

He tilted his head to the radio with a smirk. I could hear the tail end of the 'Shoop Shoop Song' by Cher. _". . . it's in his kiss . . . "_ I leaned my forehead against his and chuckled.

"So, was she right?" I planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"Mmhmm." He put both hands on my face and pulled me away, so he could look me straight in the eye. "I'm not going anywhere. With you, I feel things I've never felt with anyone else."

He pulled me to him again, his kiss more urgent this time. I let my hands roam over his back as I kissed him back, pouring everything I felt into it. I tilted my head to deepen the kiss, mentally cursing the console between us. I shifted slightly in my seat, hoping to ease the pressure that was building rapidly in my groin. I moaned into the kiss. _God, Jasper... I want you._ I traced his lips with my tongue, asking for entry to his mouth. He sucked in my tongue in response, causing me to moan again. _Stop . . . have to stop soon . . . too fast._

Everything in me was screaming for more, but I pulled away slowly. My breathing was heavy, and I struggled for a moment to get it back under control enough to speak.

"Jazz... "


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **** Thanks to ForksReverie for stepping in as my beta-fish ^_~.**

**Thanks also to JayceStorm and ForksReverie for letting me pick your brains ^_^**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. I just get to have the boys put their heads together on occassion ^_~**

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

_He pulled me to him again, his kiss more urgent this time. I let my hands roam over his back as I kissed him back, pouring everything I felt into it. I tilted my head to deepen the kiss, mentally cursing the console between us. I shifted slightly in my seat, hoping to ease the pressure that was building rapidly in my groin. I moaned into the kiss. God, Jasper...I want you. I traced his lips with my tongue, asking for entry to his mouth. He sucked in my tongue in response, causing me to moan again. Stop…have to stop soon...too fast._

_Everything in me was screaming for more, but I pulled away slowly. My breathing was heavy, and I struggled for a moment to get it back under control enough to speak. _

_"Jazz... "_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

JPOV

I lay in bed, my arms under my head as I stared up at the ceiling. My mind kept going over what happened today. The game and Rosalie meeting Edward – I was so glad that it had gone well! Dinner with mom and dad. Rose hadn't stopped talking about Emmett, for which I was actually grateful. I had been a little preoccupied, to say the least.

Edward had been at the forefront of my thoughts all through dinner. I kept wondering about how it would be for him to meet my parents. I think Rosalie sensed this and purposely kept their attention away from me.

It felt like dinner lasted for hours, but we finally got home and I was able to excuse myself. I went to my room, switched on my computer and tried to go through my emails, but still wasn't able to concentrate.

That's when Edward popped online. He seemed a little off, which was quickly explained when he told me about his discussion with Emmett. When he was done, I knew I had to see him, had to talk to him face to face. So I'd asked him to pick me up and take me for a drive. We talked for quite a while, and he made it clear that he would let me set the pace. Something I was very grateful for, even if the thought of it was slightly daunting.

I'd been going back and forth about what was happening ever since we met again. The more time we spent together though, the more I felt the need to be with him. Almost as if gravity itself was trying to pull me to him. And when we were in his car, talking, it got stronger still. He was scared, too, and the need to protect _him_, to stop _him_ from hurting over this was almost overwhelming. It made something click in my head. I would **not** hurt him. I couldn't. Not again.

I smiled softly as I put a finger to my lips, tracing them as I remembered the song that played on the radio. '_It's in his __kiss'...truer words __were seldom spoken...._I had to do something, to show him. I also wanted desperately to see if kissing him now would have the same effect on me as it had all those years ago. And it had. Kissing him then had been new, exciting and wonderful. Kissing him tonight, it was all that and more. I kissed him because I couldn't tell him everything I was feeling. I wasn't sure I had the words. It had felt as if he had done the same.

I closed my eyes and sighed softly, smiling. I fell asleep not long after, dreaming of that kiss.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been two weeks since Jessica's near drowning, and today was her first time back in the class. Before we started, Jessica and her mom had walked up to Edward and me.

I knelt down so I was eye-level with her and smiled.

"I'm glad to see you're back, Jessica."

She smiled shyly and looked up at her mom briefly. She received an encouraging smile and a nod. Jessica stepped forward and hugged my neck, whispering.

"Thank you for saving me, Mr. Jasper."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. I'm just glad you're okay."

She let go and smiled at me, before looking to Edward. I stood up and followed her gaze. I noticed him watching us with a curious, yet tender expression. He blinked and quickly knelt down as well, and Jessica hugged him, too. He smiled as she whispered in his ear. I heard him repeat my sentiments as he hugged her back. The sight of them hugging each other made me smile; Edward and kids just seemed to belong. The thought of kids had me simultaneously feeling happy and sad. I wasn't sure what to make of that, so I tried to shrug it off for now. There'd be time to think on that later.

When he let her go and stood up, Jessica's mom had tears glistening in her eyes as she gave each of us a hug as well, thanking us.

I looked down at Jessica and told her she had better hurry and change, as we would start in a few minutes. She hugged her mom and scurried off to the locker room.

Her mom spoke to us about the visit Jessica had received from James and his mom. He had apologized to them both, and it had been Jessica who had told him she forgave him, and then hugged him - much to the surprise of both mothers. James' mother had also apologized for her son.

After assuring Edward and I that she was okay with the situation as long as there were no further altercations, she asked if she could stay and watch. Edward told her to go ahead and take a seat as we got the lesson started. I couldn't help but smile at Edward as we watched Jessica jump in feet first. He winked at me and then turned his attention to class.

Class went smoothly, and before I knew it, it was time to get ready for training.

We had just started doing stamina training when I felt someone hit my arm. I looked up and saw Edward had stopped dead in the water; he was looking toward the doors of the hall. I followed his gaze and felt my jaw drop. _Rosalie? What the hell? She never comes to training....is something wrong?_ I swam to the side and climbed out, almost slipping in my hurry to get to my sister.

"Rosie! What are you doing here? Everything okay??"

Rosalie's eyes darted from me to the pool. _Emmett? No way!!! _She looked back at me, attempting to remain aloof, but I knew her better.

"Can't I come and watch my brother practice?"

I gave her a scrutinizing look and crossed my arms.

"Rosie.... you _never_ come to practice. You almost scared me half to death just showing up. I thought something was wrong!" I let out a sigh and continued. "I wish you would've told me you were coming, is all. You can watch, if you like. Though I have a feeling you're not exactly here to watch _me_." I smirked at her.

"Maybe...." She winked and sat down. "Shouldn't you be swimming, or something?"

I shook my head at her and laughed.

"Have fun, sis."

I walked to the deep end and dove in. They'd moved on to another exercise at this point, and I saw Edward waiting for me, so we could pass the ball back and forth. I rolled my eyes at him, tilting my head to Emmett. Emmett had been oblivious to Rosalie's entrance, as he was focused on training. I was looking forward to seeing his reaction. For now though, I had to pay attention and work out.

As soon as training was done, I checked to see if Rose was still watching. She was, and Emmett hadn't noticed her yet. _I still __owe you, Emmett..._I grinned and grabbed a ball and shot Edward a look, hoping he'd get the drift and join in. He did, and we hurled a ball each at Emmett.

"Hey!! What the fuck, bro?"

He whirled around and glared at us. I tilted my head towards Rosalie and grinned.

"I don't think she came to check _me _out, Emmett." I winked at him.

I heard Edward stifle a laugh, and couldn't help but chuckle as I watched Emmett's face break out into a huge smile as he looked at Rosalie. He turned back to me for a moment.

"We cool, bro?"

"Sure, Emmett."

He nodded and then swam over to Rose. I looked at Rosalie and gave her a thumbs-up, which earned me a glare that was quickly replaced by a genuine smile. She couldn't stay mad with me for very long. Especially not over this. I'd never seen her this way before, and was happy that she was letting someone in. If Emmett was the guy to break down her walls, then I was all for it.

Edward and I watched them for a few minutes, as they talked. Then we put everything away and headed to the locker room. Aside from Emmett, everyone had already left. I snuck a glance at Edward, who was grabbing his towel and shampoo. I allowed myself the opportunity to look at him. Really look at him. His hair was its usual mess. The muscles on his back and arms rippled slightly with every move he made. My fingers flexed, I wanted to run them through his hair.

As I was admiring him, he turned around to look at me. His eyes darkened a little as he noticed my staring at him. His voice was low and husky as he stepped towards me.

"See something you like?"

_Fuck me, do I ever._ I groaned softly as I reached my hand out, running my fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes as he leaned into my touch. I leaned forward, gently placing my lips on his. His eyes flew open, and he let out a soft moan.

"Jasper...."

He put a hand on the back of my neck and pulled me to him roughly, his lips seeking mine. I moaned into the kiss as I felt his bare chest against mine. I put my hands on his lower back, pulling him closer to me. I could feel his erection as it pressed against mine. _God help me, I want him...._

Edward pushed me back slowly until my back hit the wall, our lips never parting. I felt his tongue trace my lips and I sucked it into my mouth greedily, causing him to moan into my mouth. He pressed his hips into mine, the friction causing me to shiver. He pulled away slowly and looked at me with heavy lidded eyes; his voice was hoarse with want.

"Jazz.... as much as I would like to continue this." He kissed me briefly, before speaking again. "I don't think this is the place for it."

As if to reiterate the point, we heard the door to the locker room open as Emmett walked in. Edward stepped away quickly, and with a glance at me walked to the showers. I sat down on the bench and took a moment to calm down. I tried to will my hard-on away, not wanting Emmett to see, feeling suddenly a little embarrassed. Edward seemed to be able to handle things a lot better then I was at the moment. I sighed and grabbed my towel.

Emmett shot me a look as I stood up, but remained quiet. I showered quickly and got dressed, trying very hard to not look at either Edward or Emmett. Grabbing my stuff, I walked out to the hall without another word. I spotted Rosalie and walked over to her.

"Hey sis."

She frowned as she took in my expression. _I guess I look a little out of it...._I sighed and shrugged.

"Out with it. Pun not intended."

I couldn't help but chuckle at her choice of words. _Leave it to Rosalie...._

"It's nothing, Rosie. I'm just a little.... frustrated."

She smirked at me, her eyes darting from me to somewhere over my shoulder. I didn't need to turn around to know she was looking at Edward. I could feel him near me, even a few feet away. The tension had built up so much, it was becoming palpable.

"Frustrated, you say? Looks like you're not the only one, brother mine."

She nodded her head to Edward, and I turned to look at him. I imagined that the look on his face was similar to my own. His eyes were alight with fire, and the urge to cross the distance between us and grab him shook me. I turned back to Rose with wide eyes. She raised a brow as she crossed her arms. She put her hand on my shoulder as she stepped towards me, her eyes on Edward as she stage-whispered.

"Perhaps you should take matters in hand, brother mine."

I could feel my face turn red and hissed.

"Rosalie Hale!"

I was mortified. It wasn't that she didn't have a point, but that she'd said it loud enough for anyone to hear. For _Edward_ to hear! I covered my eyes with one hand and took a deep breath. I felt a hand on my other shoulder. Warmer and larger than Rosalie's. The current flowing from Edward's hand into me made my heart beat faster. I slowly lowered my hand and turned to look at him. He squeezed my shoulder and smiled at me.

Right as Edward was about to say something, Emmett's voice boomed.

"Rosie, you ready?"

I turned to frown at Rosalie. If I didn't know her so well, I would've missed the slight blush creeping up her cheeks.

"Ready for what, exactly? Rosie?"

I watched in amazement as Emmett put an arm around her shoulders. _What the...? _

"Rosie?"

"Sorry, Jasper, but looks like Copper Top'll have to drive you home, tonight." Emmett winked at Edward. "Rosalie is going out to dinner with me."

I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Is she now?"

She muttered. "Shut up, Jazzie..."

I chuckled and as I went to give her a hug, I felt Edward's hand slide off my shoulder. I hadn't even realized he'd had it there the entire time, but as soon as the contact was gone, I missed it.

I whispered to her. "Have fun, sis. I love you."

She hugged me back and whispered. "I love you, too. Don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay, brother mine?"

She winked at me as she let me go. She walked over to Edward, taking something out of her purse, grabbed his hand, placed it in his palm, and then closed his fingers around it while she whispered in his ear. He blanched at her words, looking down at his closed hand and then staring at her as she walked off with Emmett. _What the fuck??? _I looked at him in confusion.

"Edward, what the hell was all that about?"

He looked down at his closed fist again and swallowed hard before answering.

"Is she always like this?"

I frowned at him.

"Like what?"

He looked up at me; he still looked shocked as he opened his fist a little. I looked at what Rosalie had given him for the first time. For several seconds, it felt as if I was surrounded by white noise. I just kept staring at what Edward was holding in his hand. I snapped out of my daze as I felt Edward's other hand under my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. I had to swallow a few times before I was able to speak. I was almost afraid to hear the answer, but I asked anyway.

"Edward, just what exactly did my sister say to you?"

He looked a little uncomfortable, hesitating a moment before answering in a voice so low, I could barely make out the words.

"Remember, no glove, no love"

_Shoot me now. Someone just, please, shoot me now. She did not...._ I looked at the condom that was still in Edward's hand. _Yes, yes she did. _I groaned softly and closed my eyes. _I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed. _

"I'm sorry, Edward...."

I felt his thumb stroke my cheek gently, and I opened my eyes to look at him. The tenderness in his eyes was almost overwhelming.

"It's okay, Jazz."

He smiled his crooked smile as he continued to caress my cheek with his thumb. I could feel the embarrassment ebb away and I took a deep breath.

"Would you like to have dinner with me? At my place?"

I nodded, smiling softly as I saw his eyes light up a little. Suddenly the butterflies that seemed to have taken near-permanent residence in my stomach were fluttering like crazy. _I'm going home with Edward. We're going to be alone for the first time. Really alone. Not like the other night, confined to a car, but at his home. Am I ready for this? _I took one more look at the condom in Edward's hand as he pocketed it, and rolled my eyes. _Maybe not quite for _that_, but yes, for other things, I think I just might be. _

We drove to his place in silence. I was a little nervous, so I leaned my head back, closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down. I felt Edward's hand squeeze my thigh as the car stopped.

"We're here."

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes to look at him, smiling softly. I noticed we were in an underground parking garage. I got out of the car and grabbed my bag, slinging it over my shoulder. Edward fell into step next to me and led me to the elevator. As soon as we got in, he stepped closer to me and cupped his hand to my cheek. We stood like that for a little while, just staring into each other's eyes. The butterflies in my stomach seemed to be unable to make up their minds, as one moment they were calm and the next fluttering like crazy.

Just before the doors opened to his floor, Edward placed a soft kiss on my lips and smiled. He grabbed my hand in his and gently pulled me after him, chuckling. I stumbled, having seemingly forgotten how to use my legs properly.

He let go of my hand as we got to his door, so he could open it. He stepped aside and gestured for me to get in.

"After you, Jazz."

I walked in slowly, taking in my surroundings. The apartment was done in good taste and exuded Edward. My eyes roamed from one end of the room to the other, taking in the black leather couch and love seat, the fireplace with the rug in front of it, the piano that stood in the opposite corner, along with a couple of guitars hanging off the wall behind it. There was more, of course, but when I saw the piano, I turned back to Edward and smiled.

"No trouble from the neighbors? Or is it just for show?"

He chuckled softly and shook his head. His eyes were twinkling and I could detect a hint of mischief as he answered.

"Not just for show. I had the place soundproofed, so that playing my music wouldn't disturb my neighbors."

I raised an eyebrow at him, smirking.

"For the music, huh?"

"Well, maybe not _just_ for the music."

He winked at me, and I could feel the blush creeping up my cheeks. _Great job, Jasper. _I cleared my throat, put my bag down next to the door and looked back at him.

"So, you mentioned something about dinner?"

He led me into the kitchen, chuckling to himself as he went. Everything in it was state of the art: stainless steel appliances, dark granite countertops and mahogany cabinets. It was dark enough that it would have seemed cave-like had it not been for the large window and task lighting.

We made dinner together, which felt comfortable, even familiar, despite this being the first time we'd done so. He had opened a bottle of red wine to let it breathe, and poured us each a glass while we worked. It took us a while to prepare the food, as we were making lasagna, but in the end it was in the oven and we talked for a little bit while cleaning up. We set the table, so everything would be good to go as soon as the food was ready.

He refilled our glasses and handed me mine before walking to the living room. He set his glass down on the coffee table and invited me to pick out a movie, while he lit the fireplace. It wasn't cold by any means, but the ambiance was nice. I walked over to his extensive DVD collection, marveling at the variety of stuff he had on his shelves. Musicals from the 40s, 80s flicks, action, drama, love stories, horror, anime; you name it, it was there.

"Damn, you're a regular Blockbuster here."

I heard him laugh as I let my fingers skim over the backs of the covers. _Aha!_ I grinned as I grabbed 'The Court Jester'. _I love Danny Kaye! _I held up the movie for him to see.

"Hey, Edward, this okay?"

He stood up from the fireplace and turned to look. I watched as his grin broadened and he nodded his head in approval.

"Definitely! That's one of my favorite movies."

He walked over to me and took the DVD, setting it up so we could watch it after dinner was done. We settled ourselves on the couch and talked for a while. We sat facing each other, with our hands on the back of the couch. He'd laced his fingers through mine and was stroking my pulse-point on my wrist. It felt nice. My nervousness was gone, and all I could feel was contentment at being here with him.

Before I knew it, the timer dinged in the kitchen, indicating the food needed attention. I watched Edward as he got up to pull the foil off the lasagna before placing it back in the oven so the cheese could brown. I grabbed our glasses, put them on the dinner table, and walked to the kitchen. I watched for a moment as Edward was standing with his back to me. I quietly walked up behind him, making sure he wasn't holding anything.

I slowly wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned against him. I felt him straighten in my arms, and slowly turn around. He leaned back against the counter, wrapping his arms around my waist with a smile. He pulled me closer to him, and I placed a soft kiss on his lips. He returned my kiss, our lips moving slowly, tenderly. _I could definitely get used to this..._

The timer went off again then, putting a stop to things. I groaned and reluctantly let go of him. He smirked, shaking his head slightly before turning and taking the lasagna out of the oven. I watched as he put the food on the table. He looked happy, content and completely at ease. I hoped that I had some part in that. I grabbed the bottle of wine and followed him to the table. We sat and ate, talking about other movies we liked. After dinner, we did the dishes together. I washed and he dried, putting things away.

He started the movie and settled himself on the couch, his eyes on me as I sat on the edge of the loveseat.

"Sit with me?" He patted the seat next to him.

I got up and sat right next to him, curling my feet up under me as I leaned into him slightly. He smiled and put his arm around my shoulders. I'd never felt more at home with anyone than I did watching that movie with Edward. I rested my hand on his leg, as we laughed at Kaye's antics. We even quoted lines back and forth for a bit.

_"I've got it! I've got it! The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true! Right?"_

_"Right. But there's been a change: they broke the chalice from the palace!"_

_"They *broke* the chalice from the palace?"_

_"And replaced it with a flagon."_

I had always loved this movie, but watching it with Edward made it even better. I smiled up at him as the end credits started rolling onto the screen. The look on his face took my breath away, he was staring at me so intently, his eyes a darker green that I had yet seen them. I sat up a little, placed my hand on his cheek and leaned forward to kiss him. His kiss was harder this time, filled with need and all I could do was return it in kind. My chest felt like it might split, my heart was starting to beat so fast.

I felt his hand reach up, his fingers curling into my hair and I moaned into the kiss. Without breaking our kiss, I managed to swing my leg over him so I was straddling him. He wrapped both his arms around my waist tightly. He swiped his tongue over my lips, begging for entry. I opened my mouth and soon our tongues were battling for dominance. I felt him getting harder under me and I bucked my hips against him, causing him to pull away from our kiss and hiss slightly.

He grabbed my hips, pressing me closer. The feel of his bulge against mine sent shivers down my spine. I was getting to the point of not caring anymore, just wanting to, no, _needing_ to feel him. I bucked my hips again, my fingers tangling in his hair. He hissed again.

"Jesus, Jasper!"

He was breathing hard, we both were. He struggled to contain himself for a moment, before looking me in the eye, his gaze burning into me. His voice was husky.

"Jazz, tell me to take you home. Right. Now. I don't know if I can stop if we continue."

I let out a breathy chuckle, and thought back to when he'd said something similar at camp. _Haven't we done this before? Don't make me go home, I want to stay..._

"Déjà vu?"

He looked puzzled for a moment, before his eyes blazed as my words clicked. He let out a low "Fuck...", and then crashed his lips to mine. At this point my entire body felt like it was on fire, a low, sweet burn. All I could think of was that I wanted more. I tilted my head to deepen the kiss, tugging lightly at his hair. He moaned into the kiss, which sent fire shooting straight to my cock.

He pulled away from the kiss, shifted us slightly and started to lean forward, pushing me back onto the couch so he was lying on top of me, with his legs in between mine. His hand trailed up and down my side, and I let my own hands follow the muscles down his spine. He watched me for a moment, seeming to take in every feature. He slowly put his hand under the hem of my shirt, gliding it upward. I curled my torso up off the couch allowing him room to remove it, which he did quickly.

He continued to stare at me, as his hands gingerly traced over my chest. I felt myself blush slightly at the attention he was giving me. Deciding that turn-about was fair play, I slid my hands to the hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his head slowly. _Beautiful..._

I let my hands glide down and up his pecs and rippled abdomen, caressing every inch, marveling at the feel of him. He closed his eyes, seeming to enjoy the sensations. I circled his nipples with my thumbs, eliciting a soft groan from him. His eyes snapped open and before I knew it, his lips were on mine again, kissing me hungrily. I felt his hand snake up my side and to my nipple, just before he rolled it between his fingers and I moaned into the kiss, bucking my hips to his. _Fuck that feels good. _

We stayed like that for a long time - caressing, kissing, teasing each other. It was bliss and torture, all rolled into one. And all I could think was _more . . ._


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **** Thanks to ForksReverie for being my beta-fish, and for making this chapter bleed in all the right places ^_~**

**Thanks also to JayceStorm and ForksReverie for letting me pick your brains ^_^. You all crack me up, seriously. ^_~**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. These boys, however, make tardiness almost sinful ^_~**

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EPOV

I gazed over at Jasper as he slept soundly next to me. He looked so peaceful. My hands itched to caress him, but I remained still, just taking in his every feature. It was still dark out, but I was wide awake. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. I still couldn't believe that he was here, _in my bed,_ even if he has slept here a few times now since that first time last week. I smiled softly as I thought back to that night.

_We had watched 'The Court Jester' after dinner. It turned out to be a favorite of both of ours. I had a hard time concentrating on it though, with Jasper right next to me. I had my arm around his shoulder, and the sense of peace the evening had given me made my heart swell. I wished we could spend every night like this. Just us, enjoying each other's company. It had felt so good to make dinner together earlier._

_The movie had ended, but I hadn't really noticed. I was too busy watching Jasper's face. He looked relaxed, happy and completely kissable. I was already hard for him, but tried very hard not to act on it. _His timing, not mine._ I had to remind myself of this again and again. _

_He looked up at me and saw me staring at him. My breathing hitched as he started kissing me. When he straddled my lap, I about lost it. I had to wrap my arms around him tightly to stop myself from taking over. He had to lead. I had to let him have that choice. When he bucked his hips into mine, it took all I had to hold him still. I wanted him so badly, and the feeling of his erection rubbing against mine was almost too much._

_I practically begged him to tell me to take him home. I knew I wouldn't be able to last long if this kept up. And then the most amazing thing happened. He wanted to stay; he didn't want to stop, either. _

_We spent a long time kissing, letting our hands explore each other's body. I wanted him so much, that I was literally aching for him. I'd ended up putting a stop to things not long after, before we could go much further. I knew what I wanted, and I was now pretty sure that Jasper wanted to go further. But I knew things needed to go slow, and it was up to me to slow them down.  
_

_I pulled away and got up, holding my hand out to him. He took it as he got up off the couch. I pulled his body flush to mine, placing my hands on his ass as I did so. His lips were red and a little swollen, as were mine, I was sure. _

_"I think we might be more comfortable on a bed, rather than the couch. Please stay?"_

_I had to give him one more out. I watched his eyes carefully as I waited for his answer. Not that I had to wait long. He nodded, his eyes intent on mine, and dark as if a storm were raging in them. I placed a soft kiss on his lips, took his hand in mine again and pulled him to my bedroom. My heart was racing, but I was able to calm myself with considerable effort. _

_I pulled him into my room, not stopping until we stood right at the side of my bed. I ran my fingers up his arms slowly, before trailing them down his chest. I paused as I got to his belt, watching him closely, needing him to be sure. I felt his fingers ghost over mine as he started to unbuckle his belt. I bit back a moan as he let the belt slip out of his pants and dropped it next to the bed. His eyes never left my face as I slowly undid the buttons of his jeans. I smiled slightly as I remembered back to the last time I'd done so, all those years ago. _

_I brushed my lips against his, and slowly worked my way down, leaving a trail of kisses along his chest, down his abs. I pulled his pants down, and he stepped out of them. His cock was straining against his boxers, but I left them on, pretty sure that Jasper wasn't yet ready for full-on nudity. I let my fingers slide up his legs, letting my hands rest on his hips. His hands came up to my hair, tangling in it as he pulled me into a deep kiss, the first of many until we fell asleep in each others' arms . . . _

I was brought out of my reverie as Jasper stirred slightly in his sleep and brushed his hand against my now hard cock. I hissed slightly at his touch, and gently took his hand in mine. I briefly entertained the thought of pressing his hand against my hard on to wake him up. I glanced over at the clock and let out a long breath. It was time for me to get up and get ready for work. So instead of acting on what I wanted to do, I placed his hand across his stomach. I then tried to get out of bed without waking Jasper up.

I walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the water come to the right temperature as I brushed my teeth. I glanced at the bed to note that he was still asleep, before stepping under the shower. I let the water relax my muscles for a moment. I grabbed the shampoo and started to wash my hair. My thoughts were still on that first night and I was so lost in my memories that I didn't hear Jasper as he got up and joined me in the shower. I jumped slightly as I felt his hands join mine and start massaging the shampoo into my hair.

"God, Jazz...I thought you were still sleeping. Did I wake you?"

I moaned softly as he continued his ministrations, and I let my arms fall down to my side. His voice was still a little thick from sleep.

"I rolled over and you weren't there. Missed you, woke me up..."

He placed a soft kiss on my shoulder before pulling my head back to rinse out the shampoo. He poured some body wash into his hand and started to lather up my back as I let out a low moan.

"Sorry...had to get ready for work. Mmm, that feels so nice, Jasper...."

I heard him chuckle softly as he moved to my arms and then reached around to my chest. He pressed up against me as he rolled my nipples between his fingers. I could feel his cock up against the small of my back. _Jesus, if he continues with this I am not going to last long…._

"Oh God...Jazz. Work..."

_Fuck, when did he become so confident? Hell if I care, just keep touching me… _He slid his hand slowly along my abs, down to and then around my now throbbing erection. _Tease._ His other hand trailed down my abs as well. Slowly he kneeled behind me and began to lather up each leg in turn, very carefully avoiding my cock. I tried to turn around, but he put his hands on my hips to still my movement.

"Uh uh, Edward. You have to get ready for work, remember?"

"Jassssperrrrr…" I hissed between my clenched teeth. "Shit…"

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked in mock innocence as he leaned around my leg, staring up at me with a huge shit-eating grin.

I groaned as he got off his knees and moved his hands from my hips to my glutes, massaging them firmly. I placed my hands on the wall to prevent myself from grabbing him.

I mumbled "Fucking hell....."

His hands roved back to my hips as he placed a kiss on my neck. I tilted my head to the side a little, letting out another moan as his hands moved to just above my pelvis and I could feel him hard against me again. His fingers teasingly brushed my cock. I removed my hands from the wall now that Jasper was standing behind me again.

"Jazz, please..."

_Screw work. I'll be late. _His ran his tongue roughly up my neck. I turned my head, searching for his lips. I felt one of his hands move up to my chest as his lips found mine. I kissed him hungrily as he resumed teasing my nipples, causing me to moan in his mouth. _Please, don't stop. _I wanted to turn around and face him, but I was overwhelmed by the feel of his touch, so I let him choose how far he was willing to go. He broke from the kiss and seductively whispered into my ear.

"Please what, Edward?"

He pinched my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, and wrapped his other hand around my dick, his thumb moving ever so lightly over the head. I let my head fall back on his shoulder and closed my eyes, whimpering softly.

"Don't stop, please."

_Good God, I don't know where this is coming from, but please, please don't let it stop..... _His hand ghosted along my shaft in an agonizingly slow manner while his other hand continued to tease my nipples, and I felt like I was going insane. It was as though he was killing me and reviving me simultaneously. It was the sweetest torture. I gasped as he took my earlobe into his mouth, nibbling on it, sending shivers down my spine. My hands twitched as I wanted to touch him, but I kept them loosely at my side.

Jasper grasped my cock firmly, increasing his pace, twisting his wrist a little and teasing my head every time his hand came up to it. I let out a loud moan and couldn't keep from pumping into his hand. _Fuck! _ I needed to touch him! I turned my head slightly, putting my fingers in his hair, and pull his face to mine. I kissed him passionately, swiping my tongue over his lips. He opened his mouth and our tongues fought for dominance. My balls began to tighten as he brought me closer to the edge. Another flick of his wrist, a pinch of my nipple. _So close. _

I grunted into his mouth "Dear God….Jasper…"

Seemingly before the utterance could even escape my lips, my toes curled as a tingly rush pulsed throughout my body. As a guttural groan escaped Jasper's lips, his hips and rock-hard cock bucked into me again, and with a final thrust into his palm, I came explosively, harder than I'd ever done, growling into his mouth as I did so. My head lolled back against his shoulder as he gently stroked me through my orgasm. A breathless, "Hmmmm…yeah…fucking amazing" was the most coherent sentence I could form.

I pulled away from him, turning around and swiftly wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders. My breathing was ragged, and I tried to take deep, steadying breaths as I held on to him. He returned my embrace, entwining his arms around my waist and I nuzzled his neck, murmuring in his ear.

"Talk about a good morning...."

As I placed a kiss on the pulse-point of his neck and looked up at him, my hand made its way to his straining cock.

He sucked in a sharp breath before saying, "Edward, as much as I love your touch, shouldn't you be getting ready for work?" He chuckled softly.

I groaned. "Don't wanna." _I want to make him feel as fantastic as he made me._

I hugged him tighter for a moment before letting him go with a sigh.

"As long as I can give you a rain-check, you're right, I do need to get going. Besides..." I shivered and turned the shower off, since the water had gotten really cold. "I don't much care for cold showers."

I winked at him. He chuckled and grabbed us each a towel, handing me one. I dressed quickly, after he assured me he was fine and I should just get to work.

"Maybe I'll take that cold shower," he joked_. _

I'd given Jasper a key a few days before, wanting him to feel free to come and go as he pleased. In part, I had done so because I truly wanted him with me whenever possible. But it was also because I knew he still hadn't told his parents, and I couldn't help but feel that he might need it if ever they found out.

I tried not to dwell on it as I left for work. Jasper had said he was going home to study, and wasn't sure what other plans he had for today. In truth, I wanted to just stay home and spend as much time with him as I possibly could. Real life doesn't work like that though, so I would endure the working hours. I say endure because my father _still_ gave me those knowing looks whenever he passed my office. It was driving me around the bend.

I didn't have much opportunity to be on IM, as there were several people who needed my assistance and attention today. I started to get a little grumpy by lunch time, which was when Mom called. She wanted to know how things were going with Jasper. After telling her a little about what had happened since I had last spoken with her, she asked the one question I didn't know how to answer.

"Your father and I would like to have you over for dinner soon, sweetheart. It's been too long since we had a family evening." She paused a moment, before adding. "Perhaps Jasper could join us, too?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath.

"I don't know, Mom."

_I'd like nothing better than to have them meet him, but is he ready for that? _

"Can I get back to you on that? We haven't actually talked about that yet....."

"Of course, sweetheart. Talk to him and let me know. I'd like to have dinner Saturday after next, if that works for you?"

I checked my calendar quickly before agreeing.

"Usual time?"

"5 PM, as always. See you then, Edward. Love you."

"Love you, too, Mom."

She had already hung up, but I held on to the handset, absentmindedly tapping it against my chin. _Do I ask him? Or should I wait. _I sighed. _Damn it. If I take him to meet my parents.... I don't want him to feel pressured. _I glanced at my computer screen. I hadn't logged on to IM yet. I put the handset back in the cradle. It took me a good five minutes to get myself to log on. _Maybe he's not online. _

**Jazzman: **Hey stranger! Busy day, today?

_No such luck. _My fingers hovered over my keyboard. _Suck it up, Cullen!_

**EACullen: **Hey, yourself. Yeah, it's been a little crazy all morning. Just got on my lunch, so figured I'd check in.

**Jazzman: **:-) Sorry to hear you're having a hard day. How long is lunch?

**EACullen: **I actually only have about 20 minutes left, and I haven't eaten yet. Mom called at the start of lunch.......

I bit my lip nervously. _If he doesn't ask, I won't say anything about it right now...._

**Jazzman: **Everything okay? *frowns*

I rubbed my hands over my face. _Time to bite the bullet._

**EACullen: **In a manner of speaking..... She asked me to come to dinner Saturday after next. Family dinner.

**Jazzman: **Ah, I see. That's not so bad, is it?

**EACullen: **.....

_Chickenshit._

**Jazzman: **Edward?

**EACullen: ***sigh* Jazz, the invitation was for **both** of us. How do you feel about meeting my parents?

Nothing. I stared at the screen, waiting for an answer. _Shit._ Minutes ticked by, and I was starting to get really nervous, when my phone suddenly rang. I frowned as I answered.

"Cullen Tech; Edward Cullen speaking."

I heard someone take a deep breath on the other end. _What the hell? _I glanced at my monitor. Still no answer. The person on the other end of the line spoke so quietly, I almost missed what was said entirely.

"What time?"

I blinked.

"Jasper?"

I heard him take another deep breath, as if he were steeling himself for something.

"Yes. What time?"

I raked my fingers through my hair, my heartbeat picking up as his words finally registered with me. _He wants to go? _

"5 PM. Jazz, are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured or anything..."

I was babbling, so I bit my cheek to stop myself.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I just...."

He sounded frustrated, and I could guess the reason behind it. I sighed softly.

"I know, Jasper. Thank you."

"Sure. Uhm... I'd better let you go. Lunch is almost over, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. I'll check in on IM when I have a chance, so we can talk more?"

_Please be there._

"Alright. Bye...."

He hung up before I could respond. He'd sounded like he wanted to say more. I stared at the phone for a minute, as I thought over what just happened. I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of someone talking to me. I didn't catch what was said, and looked up to see my father in the doorway with a worried expression on his face.

"What was that? Sorry, Dad...didn't realize you were there."

"I asked if you were alright, Son. You look like you just had a bit of a shock."

He eyed me carefully for a moment, the concern clear on his face.

"Yeah, Dad. I'm fine. Actually, that was Jasper on the phone just now."

I realized I was still holding the handset and quickly placed it back in the cradle. I looked up at Carlisle again, a soft smile playing on my lips.

"Dad? Would you let Mom know to expect us for dinner Saturday after next?"

He smiled as he raised a brow.

"I most certainly will, Son. So we finally get to meet the reason for the light that's been shining in your eyes these past few weeks?"

He smirked at me, and I blushed as I stifled a chuckle.

"I suppose you will, yes."

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**A/N: Okay, I know some of you are going to be up in arms over this, so I'll just put it here so you don't need to message me to death over it ^_~.**

**Jasper knew what he was doing. No, Edward wasn't being mean or inconsiderate by not returning the favor, so to speak. **

**It wasn't about tit for tat, but giving. **

**So, like it or not, that's how it stands ^_~. **

**Leave the boys some love ^_^**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **** Thanks to ForksReverie for being my beta-fish, and for making this chapter bleed in all the right places ^_~**

**Thanks also to JayceStorm and ForksReverie for letting me pick your brains ^_^. Your knowledge of food and wine astounds me, and I thank you for sharing it with me ^_^.**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. This Rosie though, is kick ass.**

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JPOV

I pulled on a pair of Edward's sweats while he got dressed after our shower. After he left, I went into the kitchen to grab something to drink. I sat down at the table, nursing my glass of orange juice as I let my mind wander. So much had changed for me in the last few days.

Looking back, I realized that the night we kissed in Edward's car was when things started to click for me. I knew I'd been fighting my feelings, but watching how it hurt him, and knowing that I was the only one who could stop that hurt, made it clear to me that I had to try to get past my own fears. Rose was right. I was worrying about the wrong things. _Although I still wasn't sure about how to tell mom and dad._

I sighed. Rose. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to throttle her or hug her for the whole condom incident. Though in truth, I suppose I couldn't be mad at her for doing it. She knows me better than anyone and knew how I felt. As embarrassing as it was at the time, what she did gave me the proverbial push I had needed. And Edward's reaction to it made me feel safe, loved.

At his home that first night, I was comfortable. Being with him just came so easily, certainly more so than any of the girls I'd been with in the past. Edward had let me know time and again that he was willing to wait for me and take things at a pace I was comfortable with. He said he wouldn't push me too far or too fast and the truth was evident in both his words and his actions. It made me love him even more.

I smiled at myself because over the past week, this was something that I had begun to realize and accept. I was falling in love with Edward. I was nowhere near ready to say it yet, but to myself I could admit it. Looking back to camp, and over these past weeks, I could see it was something that had always been there, on some level.

Rose had helped me arrive at this conclusion. When I got home the day after I'd first stayed the night with Edward, she and I had had a long talk.

_Rose and I were sitting on my bed, side-by-side with our legs outstretched. After I told her off for pulling that stunt at the swimming hall, I had hugged her. She just laughed and hugged me back, saying she'd known I couldn't be mad about it for long. She then asked how things had gone, and I told her in general terms about the evening. I managed to get through it without blushing, for a change. _

_She asked me how I felt about him, and I told her that I wasn't sure how to put into words what I was feeling. She eyed me skeptically for a moment, before asking me another question. _

_"Do you ever think that maybe you moved with Mom and Dad every time, because you were looking for him? Perhaps not on a conscious level, but still...."_

_She leaned her head back against the headboard and looked at me. I thought about it for a while, leaning back as well. She spoke again._

_"I've watched over you your whole life, Jasper. After Brendan, Dad told me that it was my job as a big sister to always be there for you. And I always have been."_

_She paused and took my hand in hers. _

_"I know...." I sighed softly. _

_She squeezed my hand and continued. _

_"Do you know that I never stayed behind, because I couldn't stand the thought of you being alone? Mom and Dad have each other. You had me. I watched, you know. Every time you seemed to find someone. But you were never quite happy. Really, truly happy. And then we'd move again."_

_She sighed, eyeing me carefully._

_"I think that maybe, deep down, you were trying to find what you stumbled on at camp. I've watched you since Edward came back into your life, Jasper, and he's bringing you to life in a way I've never seen before. I've never seen you as happy as when you've been with him."_

_I ducked my head, blushing a little._

_"Let me ask you something, Jasper. If Dad were to get another order to move somewhere else, what would you do?"_

_I scowled at the thought and pulled my hand from hers. I whispered softly. _

_"I'd stay." I looked up at her. "I don't think I could leave, Rose."_

_"That's what I thought."  
_

_She smiled at me as she ruffled my hair. _

She had given me a lot to think about that day. Sometimes I thought she knew me better than I knew myself. Talking with her had helped put a few things in perspective for me though.

I'd stayed the night at Edward's apartment a couple of times since that first night. It felt good to fall asleep in his arms, it felt right. And boy could that man kiss! I chuckled softly. Being with him was something else. His touch almost made my body burn, all the while yearning for more. We'd not gone beyond just getting each other off, and up until this morning it had been something that was in the heat of the moment.

I finished my juice and headed back into the bathroom, took off the sweat pants and turned the shower on. The water was warm again and I stepped under it, thinking back to earlier.

_I'd woken up alone in bed, and felt a little disoriented. I'd been dreaming about camp again, something that had happened frequently since first seeing Edward again._

_When I heard the shower, I decided to go and join him. I had startled him, but he quickly relaxed as I massaged his scalp. His response to my washing him though, made me feel bold - empowered, even. His moans, the way his body responded to _my _touch. It tripped something in me, and all I wanted to do was to make him feel good. I knew he didn't really have time to fool around, but I didn't care. I wanted to give him release, and to tease him a little. _

I quickly washed my hair and body, before grabbing my cock and doing to myself what I had done to Edward. Remembering how he felt under my hand, how he sounded and looked, it wasn't long before I found my own release. I rinsed off and relaxed my muscles before turning the shower off and toweling myself dry.

I got dressed, picked up my things and decided to go home so I could study. When I got there, I noticed that the house was empty and all the cars were gone. _Looks like I'll have some peace and quiet for a while._ Mom had left a note on the fridge to let me and Rose know she'd be out all day. I felt a little guilty for feeling relieved to not have to deal with her right now.

I went to my room and turned on the computer. While I waited for everything to load, I grabbed everything I'd need for my studies. My mind kept wandering to this morning. _Focus, Jasper. Study now, so you're free to spend time with Edward later. _I logged onto IM, only to find he wasn't online. _Well, one less distraction, I suppose._ I pulled up the website for class and logged on.

I spent the next 4 hours studying, only taking a break to grab something to eat or drink. I was pleased to get a lot done. As much as I missed talking with Edward, I was glad that I'd been able to work through all the homework I'd accumulated. When he finally logged on though, I couldn't help but feel my spirits lift. I sent him a message straight away, happy to get the chance to talk to him today.

**Jazzman: **Hey stranger! Busy day, today?

**EACullen: **Hey, yourself. Yeah, it's been a little crazy all morning. Just got on my lunch, so figured I'd check in.

**Jazzman: **:-) Sorry to hear you're having a hard day. How long's lunch?

**EACullen: **I actually only have about 20 minutes left, and I haven't eaten yet. Mom called at the start of lunch.......

I frowned a little, wondering what was wrong. He came across as nervous.

**Jazzman: **Everything okay? *frowns*

**EACullen: **In a manner of speaking..... She asked me to come to dinner Saturday after next. Family dinner.

_Wonder why he seems nervous about going to dinner with his parents....? _

**Jazzman: **Ah, I see. That's not so bad, is it?

**EACullen: **.....

_What's going on? _I waited for him to say something, but when he didn't reply, I shot him another message.

**Jazzman: **Edward?

**EACullen: ***sigh* Jazz, the invitation was for **both** of us. How do you feel about meeting my parents?

I blinked and read the last message again. And again. _Oh God.... _I felt my throat go dry at the thought of meeting his parents, and my stomach clenched. _They want to meet me? _He_ wants to introduce me to his parents? _I was panicking a little, and Rose chose that time to show up.

"Hey, Jasper..."

She stopped mid-sentence as soon as she saw the look of beginning panic in my eyes.

"What's wrong, Jazz?"

She walked over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, watching me carefully. I couldn't find my voice, so I just pointed at the screen, indicating she should read what Edward had said. She frowned slightly at me, but leaned forward to read the messages.

She stood back up, smirking.

"Ah, I see."

She squeezed my shoulder, and though I could see amusement dancing in her eyes, I also saw tenderness and concern.

"Jazz, are you freaking out because _he_ wants you to meet _his_ parents, or because you feel you need to bring _him_ home to meet Mom and Dad if you go meet his folks?"

I let out a long breath, and raked my fingers through my hair as I thought over her question. Once again, Rose was astute in her observations. I sighed and looked up at her, feeling a lot calmer now.

"Honestly? The latter. I wouldn't mind meeting his parents, but I'm not ready for ours to meet him yet."

"Has he asked you to meet them? Or otherwise made you feel you had to tell them about him, before you're ready to do so?"

I shook my head. She smiled and squeezed my shoulder again.

"Well then, what are you waiting for?"

She pointed to the screen and chuckled.

"I think he might be freaking out a little on the other end there. You've been quiet for a while now. Maybe you should answer him?"

I thought for a moment and decided I needed to tell him directly, and not through an instant message. I grabbed my phone, found his work number and dialed. I held my breath as I waited for him to answer. Rose left my room quietly, leaving me space to do this.

"Cullen Tech; Edward Cullen speaking."

I took a deep breath before whispering.

"What time?"

"Jasper?"

I took another steadying breath, trying to find my voice so I could answer him.

"Yes. What time?"

"5 PM. Jazz, are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured or anything..."

He stopped abruptly, and I quickly responded.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I just...."

I ran my fingers through my hair, starting to feel nervous again, as well as frustrated about the whole situation. _I wish I could just tell them. I want my life to be whole. _

"I know, Jasper. Thank you."

"Sure. Uhm... I'd better let you go. Lunch is almost over, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. I'll check in on IM when I have a chance, so we can talk more?"

"Alright. Bye...."

I hung up quickly, not sure I could say more without sounding like an idiot, or making him feel worse. I knew he was just as nervous about asking me to go, as I was in saying yes. I wished he wasn't at work. More than anything, I wanted to be with him right now.

I got up and walked over to Rose's room. I knocked once before going in. She was sitting by her window, seemingly lost in thought. She looked up as I walked up to her. She smiled at me.

"Well?"

"Saturday after next. I called him to let him know."

I sighed and shook my head.

"I can't believe this is happening, sis." I grinned at her, lowering my voice a little as I continued. "I'm nervous and excited.....I think he is, too."

"Probably. His parents have known for a while though, right? And are okay with things?"

I nodded.

"Then I don't think you've got anything to worry about, Jazzie. They'll love you."

She grinned and stood up, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"So! I'm going to assume that you won't be working on your school work anymore today?"

I frowned at her. _What is she up to, now?_

"You said he was nervous, right? I think you should go over to his place, cook dinner and just hang out tonight. You both could do with some cuddle-time, I think. Plus, you should talk."

I raised my brows at her. _She's good... She's very, very good. _I chuckled and shook my head a little, pulling her into a hug.

"Rosalie, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Well, for starters, you wouldn't be going shopping right now. Come on, I'll drive you. I'm thinking you need something special."

She hugged back and winked at me as she let go.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A few hours later, we were in Edward's kitchen, unpacking everything and putting things away. Among other things that weren't commonly known about her, Rosalie was a killer in the kitchen. I could hold my own, but she could cook circles around me. She offered to help with dinner tonight, and I gladly accepted it. I had sent Edward a text while we were out, to let him know I'd meet him at his place for dinner. I did not tell him we were cooking.

It was fun to cook with Rose. We chatted about various things, ranging from how things were going between her and Emmett, to school, the club. We made dessert first, since the chocolate needed to set over the strawberries. We both sneaked a couple of strawberries as we prepared them.

Once those were done, Rose set me to dice the chicken, onions and mushrooms for the main course, which was to be Chicken Marsala.

We took our time with making the food, as Edward wouldn't be leaving the office until 5 PM today. I knew the drive home wouldn't take him long, so we aimed to get everything as close to done as possible by 5:30 PM.

Rosalie started by adding a bit of olive oil to heat in a frying pan. Once the oil was heated, she quickly sautéed the onions and mushrooms which she removed from the pan and drained. Next she added a bit more olive oil to the pan and seared the chicken. After the chicken was cooked, the mushrooms and onions were returned to the pan. Without any use of measuring spoons, Rose added a variety of spices which I would not remember, but based on experience knew would be perfectly balanced in the dish. Finally, she added half a bottle of dry Marsala wine, turned up the heat to medium-high and snapped on a lid.

"Okay, Jazz, just keep your eye on it, to make sure that the wine does not burn off too fast, but other than that, this dish will finish itself. I have set up the pan for the rice pilaf, just put that on to boil at 5 and follow the instructions on the box. The green beans have been trimmed and are ready to be turned on at 5:15 so they will be steamed to al dente perfection at 5:30. Once you drain them, just add a pat of butter to toss them in."

"Rosie, thank you so much for this suggestion as well as all your help! I really appreciate it," I said as I gave her a quick hug.

"No problem, Jazz – this is just one of my "weekday" meals. You let me know when you want the boy eating out of your lap and we will pull out all the stops." She winked as she gave me a mega-watt smile while I just blushed and put my head in my hands.

We set the table, and I opened the bottle of Derbes "Les Pinots" Pinot Noir that Rosalie had insisted I get.

_"It's one of the best wines, Jazzie, and it'll go great with the Marsala. Trust me."_

And with that she'd gone to the cashier and bought the bottle. Where she found all this out, I'll never know. It was a little after 5 PM now, and Rose was on her way out the door. She hugged me and assured me that everything would be alright, and told me to enjoy the evening.

I was putting the finishing touches on dinner when I felt Edward's arms wrap around my waist. He planted a small kiss on my neck and I chuckled.

"Something smells good. To what do I owe the honor?"

He let go of me and I had to bite back a moan at the loss of contact. He leaned up against the counter next to me and looked at me, the smile he wore lit up his face.

"Rosalie thought we could use a good meal and some time together tonight. She helped me make dinner, actually."

I watched him, frowning slightly as I realized that he might not want to have anyone here. He reached a hand to my face and gently ran his fingers over my forehead before he leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"I'll have to remember to thank her for that." His eyes glinted, the corner of his mouth went up in a wicked little grin as he continued. "I'll be sure to thank you properly, later."

He winked, kissed me again and then went to go change out of his work clothes. By the time he was done, everything was ready and I was pouring the wine into our glasses.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **** Thanks to ForksReverie for being my beta-fish, and for making this chapter bleed in all the right places ^_~**

**Thanks also to JayceStorm and ForksReverie for letting me pick your brains ^_^. Your knowledge of food and wine astounds me, and I thank you for sharing it with me ^_^.**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. These boys, however, make tardiness almost sinful ^_~**

* * *

_"Dad? Would you let Mom know to expect us for dinner Saturday after next?"_

_He smiled as he raised a brow. _

_"I most certainly will, Son. So we finally get to meet the reason for the light that's been shining in your eyes these past few weeks?"_

_He smirked at me, and I blushed as I stifled a chuckle._

_"I suppose you will, yes."_

EPOV

I had a hard time staying focused on work for the rest of the afternoon. I never had gotten around to eating anything during my lunch break, which didn't help matters either. My mind kept going back to my conversation with Jasper. _He wants to go have dinner with my parents. _Every time I thought of it, I could feel a goofy grin come to my lips. I was still a little worried about how he really felt about it, and hoped he wouldn't feel too pressured to come out to his parents or introduce me to them. I knew all too well it had to happen at some point, but also realized that the choice was his to make, not mine. All I could do was be there for him when the time came, no matter the outcome.

For the time being though, I was thrilled that I'd be able to introduce him to my parents. The thought of Esme or Carlisle not liking him never even crossed my mind. I knew they'd be as supportive of him as they were of me. I wanted Jasper to know he would not be alone, and would always have somewhere to go. I was certain of this: they would love him as surely as I did.

Some time around 2pm, I got a text from Jasper, telling me he'd be at my place when I got off work. Suddenly I just wanted to be done with my day. I wanted to go home, hold Jasper in my arms and not let go. Not to mention, I still owed him from this morning. I sighed and had to shift in my seat to adjust myself. _Edward Cullen, you're at work dangit. Jasper said he'd be waiting for you at home and there'll be plenty of time then. For now, concentrate on getting through the day, so you can go home on time. _

Time dragged on for the rest of the day. Jasper hadn't logged back on IM after his text, and things had slowed down a little. It was finally 5 o'clock and I was in such a hurry, I almost knocked my father over on the way to the elevator.

"Sorry!" I said at the same time as he said. "Where's the fire, Son?"

I chuckled.

"No fire, Dad. Just anxious to get home."

The smirk he gave me made me roll my eyes at him. He swept his arms to the side, gesturing for me to pass.

"Have a good night, Edward."

"I plan on it. See you tomorrow."

I was eager to get home, and when I finally did, the place smelled amazing. I was surprised that Jasper had been cooking, since he hadn't mentioned anything about it. I walked into the kitchen, figuring that would be a good place to start looking for him. He was concentrating on whatever he was doing, and hadn't heard me come in. I snuck up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, kissing his neck softly.

"Something smells good. To what do I owe the honor?"

I peeked over his shoulder at what looked and smelled to be Chicken Marsala, smiling brightly as I let go and leaned against the counter next to him.

"Rosalie thought we could use a good meal and some time together tonight. She helped me make dinner, actually."

He frowned a little as he spoke, and I wondered if he thought that I would not welcome her here. I reached over and gently ran my fingers across his forehead, wanting to wipe away his worries. I kissed him gently on the lips.

"I'll have to remember to thank her for that."

_And I can think of a few ways to thank you, baby. _I grinned at the thought.

"I'll be sure to thank you properly, later."

I winked, and kissed him again before going to change into something more comfortable. When I got back, the food was all on the table, and Jasper was pouring the wine into our glasses. I paused a moment to watch him, enjoying the sight of him in my home. _I hope he feels at home here. I want him to be.... _I leaned against the wall, allowing myself to get lost in the scene before me. Jasper turned around to see what was taking me so long, and caught me staring at him.

I pushed off from the wall and walked up to him. I put my arms around his shoulders, pulling him close to me and whispered in his ear, letting my breath fan out over his skin. I could feel his arms as he put them around my waist.

"Thank you for doing this, Jazz. I can't think of anything better to come home to." _Well, except maybe you._

I felt him shiver a little, which made me smile. We stood like that for a little while, before he hugged me tighter briefly. He let go of me and I let my hands slip down to his chest.

"We should eat, before the food gets cold. Rosalie would tan both our hides if we ruined her efforts."

We both laughed at that as we took our seats.

"Well we can't have that now, can we?" I winked at him.

The food and wine were excellent. I really would have to thank Rosalie for helping him put all this together. _I do like that sister of his. In spite of that little stunt with the condom, I'm glad that he has her. He's going to need her love and support, especially if his folks react poorly to him being gay. _ I sighed softly as I watched him for a moment.

Jasper said there was dessert also, but that he wanted to wait a little before serving it. So we took everything into the kitchen, putting away what little was left over, and doing the dishes together in amicable silence. He wouldn't let me in the fridge though, something about wanting dessert to be a surprise. _Works for me._

We took the rest of the wine and our glasses into the living room, and I went to light the fireplace again. Jasper sat down on the rug, leaning back on his arms, his legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. I walked up to him, nudging him with my foot.

"Scoot forward a little?"

He looked up at me, a bit confused, but he did as I asked. I sat down behind him, putting my legs on either side of his and my arms around his waist. I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly. He leaned back into me, running his fingers over my legs. I nuzzled his neck briefly, earning a soft murmur from him.

"Thank you for dinner, Jazz. It was wonderful."

_I wish I could come home to you every night. _I tightened my arms slightly and kissed his neck, just below his ear. I felt him shudder slightly, and I grinned. _Will have to remember that spot...._ He turned his head a little and I pressed my lips against his tenderly. The kiss was slow and sweet, and I closed my eyes as I lost myself in the sensation of it. After a few minutes, he pulled away and I sighed softly.

He whispered. "You're welcome, darlin'."

I froze for a moment, taken aback by his term of endearment. _Does he realize he just called me darlin'?_ I hugged him tight, and kissed his neck so he wouldn't notice me smiling like an idiot. He moaned softly as he tilted his head, allowing me better access to his neck. I felt him shift a little and I loosened my hold on him reluctantly. He stretched his arms out, arching his back like a cat before turning around, so we were face to face. He put his hand softly against my cheek as his eyes met mine. His voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke.

"Saturday after next, huh?"

I placed my hand over his, holding it to me as I turned my head slightly so I could kiss the palm of his hand.

"If you really want to, yes."

I searched his eyes, afraid he'd say no, worried I'd see regret there. He smiled softly, taking a deep breath. I couldn't tell what was going through his mind, so I braced myself.

"I do want to, darlin'."

My heart swelled when I heard him say that, and this time I wasn't successful in hiding my smile at the term 'darlin', even though I tried to hide it by kissing the palm of his hand again. He frowned a little and tilted his head questioningly.

"What?"

"It's nothing...." I mumbled.

I couldn't stop smiling. He sat up a little straighter, his eyes searching mine for answers.

"What?! Why are you smiling like that?"

I chuckled softly as I reached over and placed my hand on his cheek, running my thumb gently over his lips.

I whispered. "You just called me darlin' - twice actually."

His eyes widened a little and I could tell he was thinking back over his words. The moment he realized he had indeed said that, he blushed and ducked his head. I leaned forward as I moved my hand so I could lift his chin up.

"None of that, baby.... You have no idea how good it made me feel to hear you say that."

His eyes lit up at my words. I quickly closed the distance between us, our lips moving together in a slow, deep kiss. I pushed against him without breaking our kiss, so he was on his back. I climbed on top, straddling him. His hands ran up and down my thighs, as mine went to his hair, alternately tugging it and running my fingers through it. He moaned into the kiss, and his hands moved up my thighs to my ass, which he started to knead. I could feel myself getting hard, and I ground my hips into his. The feeling of his erection rubbing against mine spurred me on.

My tongue traced his lips and he opened his mouth to let me in. I explored every inch of it with my tongue, as I let one hand trail down his side. I snuck my hand under his shirt, moving it upwards until I found his nipple. I rolled it between my fingers as our tongues tangled. I bucked my hips into his again, eliciting a loud moan from him. _Stop. Have to... _Then he lifted his hips up a little, and it was me that moaned into the kiss. _Fuck... more. Want you so bad; have to slow down._

I was starting to lose control of myself, and I knew I couldn't let that happen. Not yet. I pulled away from the kiss to look at Jasper. I grinned as I saw the look of longing in his eyes, which I was sure mirrored my own. He tightened his grip on my ass and pushed his hips up. My eyes rolled back a little as I let out a soft "Fuck...". When I looked back at him, I saw that impish grin of his. I leaned forward and whispered huskily into his ear.

"I believe I still owe you for this morning, baby."

I sat back up and saw his eyes flash with desire. I grabbed his hands and got off of him. He whimpered a little, and I chuckled softly. I pulled at the hem of his shirt, tugging on it a little. He got the drift and lifted his torso enough for me to pull it over his head. He laid back down again, his eyes intent on mine as I let my fingers ghost teasingly over his chest, down to his abs. His breathing was ragged and I knew he was excited. I briefly slid my fingers under the edge of his jeans, grinning.

I palmed his hard on, causing him to moan again. _God, I love that sound._ I slowly undid his buckle and then popped the buttons of his jeans. My eyes were on his. He looked so beautiful; his eyes were heavy-lidded and dark with lust. I tugged on his jeans a little, urging him to lift his hips. He did, and I pulled both his jeans and boxers off in one go. The sight of his cock standing at attention made me grin. _I don't think I'll ever get enough of seeing him like that. _

Having put aside his clothes, I quickly stood and removed my own, because my own hard-on was becoming painfully constricted by my pants. I kneeled down beside him again and kissed him deeply. I felt his hand fist my hair and I moaned into the kiss. I let my fingers trail down his arm until I reached his fingers. I coaxed his fingers free and moved his arm up by his head as I pulled away from the kiss slowly. I slid my hand up his arm to his shoulder and then down his side, watching as he languidly stretched his back.

Once I reached his hip I started drawing lazy circles across it with my thumb. I placed a soft kiss on his lips again, before trailing nips and kisses down his chin and neck to the dip between his collarbones, moving down to his chest. I placed a kiss over his heart as I looked up at him. His breathing was picking up a little and he had his eyes on me. The blue-green of his eyes was so dark, seeming to mirror the depths of the ocean. The intensity of it put a slight hitch in my breathing.

I briefly flicked my tongue over each of his nipples, enjoying the soft whimpers that emerged from his mouth as I did so. I left a trail of open-mouth kisses as I made my way down his abs. I looked up at him again as I got to his pelvic bone. I moved my hand from his hip, brushing my fingers against his cock.

Keeping my eyes on his face, I put my lips on the tip of his head, brushing it softly. His cock twitched as I kissed his head again, and then worked my way down his shaft. I placed open mouthed kisses on his balls, earning a deep moan from him. I traced the vein on his cock with my tongue, before curling it around his head, teasing him. I lapped up the pre-cum that glistened on his head and kissed it again.

"God.... Edward....stop teasing, please...."

I smiled up at him and noticed his hands were clenching and unclenching. I closed my lips around his head and slowly took him in my mouth. I heard him mutter something, but couldn't make out the words. I grabbed the base of his shaft as I wasn't able to take all of him. I hummed softly as I moved back and forth, taking him as far as I could, my hand moving at the same pace. Sometimes slow and gentle, then a little harder. I grazed my teeth ever so gently a few times.

"So good darlin'...."

I moaned into him and he bucked his hips a little. I could tell he was getting closer. I let go of him, letting my fingers brush against his sack and started to gently massage under his balls, while creating a vacuum with my mouth around his cock.

"Fuck….Edward!"

Hearing him scream my name was so fucking incredibly sexy! He bucked his hips again and his hands flew to my hair, tugging at it lightly. I continued for a little longer before he cried out incoherently and came hard into my mouth. I greedily swallowed every drop. Once I was sure he was done, I let him go, my eyes on his face as I leaned forward on all fours. His eyes were closed and his face held a look of pure bliss. He was breathing heavily, trying to regain control of himself. I just watched him with a soft smile on my face.

He chuckled softly.

"Good God, Edward..... that was..."

He opened his eyes to look at me.

"Learned a few tricks since camp, did you?"

Before I had a chance to think of a response, he grabbed my face in both his hands and pulled me down, his lips crashing to mine. I felt his tongue swipe across my lips and I opened my mouth, our tongues battling for dominance. I lay down, resting my body half on top of him, half next to him, reveling in the feel of his naked skin against mine. He pulled away from the kiss long enough to speak, his voice hoarse.

"Fucking amazing...."

His thumb traced my cheekbone as he kissed me again, this time slower and deeper. I closed my eyes, letting myself drown in the feeling. I felt his hand move down from my face, over my shoulder, along my side to my hip. My dick twitched against his side as he stopped the kiss. I opened my eyes to look at him when he suddenly rolled me onto my back, and hungrily returned to my mouth as he hovered over me. His hand brushed against my cock and I moaned into the kiss.

He pulled away then and I groaned at the loss of contact, which made him smirk. He gave me one quick kiss on the lips as he shifted his body. Before I realized what he was doing, I felt his lips on my head before he placed soft kisses down my shaft, like I had done to him. I sat up and put my hand on his cheek. I tried to keep my voice level, but even to my own ears, I sounded strained. _I want this, but..._

"Jazz, baby... you don't have to do this."

He looked up at me through his eyelashes and in answer licked his way up my cock.

I moaned. "Fuck...Jazz.."

He put his hand on my chest and gently pushed me back down before taking my cock into his mouth. It was the sexiest fucking thing I'd ever seen, and I could feel myself getting impossibly harder. I let out a shaky breath as I propped myself up to watch him. The feeling of being in his mouth was almost enough to make me come right there. I had to fight to not let go and close my eyes. I wanted to watch him.

_I can't believe...shit..._His tongue curled around my head _..he's doing this..._ He started teasing my sack gently, as he hummed, much like I had done to him. I fought to keep my hips still, even though it was difficult. _Christ! _I could feel the pressure building, and I tried to hold off, wanting to enjoy this a little longer.

"Christ... Jazz...so good...."

I was getting so close, and I wasn't sure if he would want to swallow or not. I ran my fingers through his hair, my voice breaking as I tried to speak.

"Baby...so close... don't have to.."

Instead of pulling away though, his fingers trailed to my balls, and he started to suck as he went up and down. The sensation was too much and the pressure that had been building forced its way out. I came hard, even harder than I had that morning. I cried out as wave after wave swept through me.

"Fuck...Jasper...."

He swallowed every drop and once he was done, he sat up and watched me. I sat up as well and hugged him to me, kissing him hungrily. After a few minutes, I broke contact enough to look him in the eye.

"Thank you, Jasper, you didn't have to do that. You are amazing."

I cupped his cheek in my hand and smiled at him. _Every time I think I couldn't love him any more, he does something like this. _Unbelievably, he smiled shyly, taking my hand from his cheek, putting it in both his hands, playing with it. He lowered his head, appearing very interested in what he was doing. I watched him, wondering what was going through his mind, but left him the time he seemed to need right now.

I shifted a little so I could settle with my back against the couch and pulled him gently in my arms. I kissed the top of his head and traced my fingers back and forth on his arms. He sighed against my chest as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

He shook his head, letting out a long breath. I ran my fingers through his hair before lifting his chin so I could look at him. _Does he regret what just happened? Did I push him too far? Please, Jazz, just tell me..._

"Talk to me, please?" I whispered.

He frowned a little, but the corner of his mouth twitched as if he were trying to stop himself from smiling.

"It's nothing... just silly."

_Silly? What? _I frowned at him.

"What do you mean, silly?"

He took a deep breath and I had to strain to hear his words, as he let them out in one long string.

"IwasafraidIwouldn't beanygoodmyfirsttime andIwantedtobeabletomake youfeelasgoodas youmademefeel."

I barely caught that he said, "I was afraid I wouldn't be any good my first time and I wanted to make you feel as good as you made me feel."

He blushed. I blinked and all I could muster was a soft. "Oh..." I couldn't help myself, I started shaking a little, trying to suppress the laughter that wanted to come out, but a snicker still escaped my lips. He sat back a little and glared at me.

"Not funny." He muttered as he smacked my shoulder lightly.

The look in his eyes betrayed his own amusement though, and that was it. What started as a low chuckle soon became laughter, and I had to fight to get my breathing back in control. Jasper just looked at me for a second before joining me, and soon we sat snickering as we calmed down. Once I was finally able to speak coherently again, I looked him in the eye, cupping his face in both hands.

"Jasper, you have no idea how good you make me feel. You said that with me, you feel things you've never felt before. Well the same is true for me, baby." _I love you…so much that I won't say it too soon and scare you off. _

My thumbs were softly caressing his cheekbones as I spoke. _He has to know it's true... _I looked into his eyes for a moment longer before tilting my head and leaning in to kiss him. I moved my lips slowly, tenderly, wanting him to feel what I couldn't say. I felt him respond in kind, and I was sure he knew. He had to.

* * *

A/N added: apparently ff doesn't like words put together in one long string, so I've had to break it up *grumbles*. My apologies for the oddlooking ramble


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **** Thanks to ForksReverie for being my beta-fish, and for making this chapter bleed in all the right places ^_~**

**Thanks also to JayceStorm and ForksReverie for letting me pick your brains ^_^. Your knowledge of food and wine astounds me, and I thank you for sharing it with me ^_^.**

**By the by, there's a little known story you should check out. Edward, Jasper, Emmett: cowboy country. (****.net/s/4966802/1/Three_Forks_MT**** by CarminMoon) That's all I'm saying ^_~ (well, okay, not all. It's an E/B story, but oh so good ^_^)**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. These boys, however, make tardiness almost sinful ^_~**

* * *

JPOV

I sat behind my computer, trying desperately to get some work done before having to leave for swimming class. I drummed my fingers on the table as my thoughts once again strayed from the screen in front of me and the assignment I should be working on. Instead, my thoughts kept drifting back to the night Rose and I made dinner for Edward the week before.

I smiled as I recalled what Rose had said before leaving that night: _"You let me know when you want the boy eating out of your lap and we will pull out all the stops."_ There was no way in hell I was telling her that her kick-ass cooking skills wouldn't be necessary anymore. _Then again.... if that's the reaction I get for one of her 'weekday' dinners, I wonder just what kind of response I could expect from Edward if Rose were to pull out all the stops._ That thought certainly had its merits.

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of any further thoughts about that night, and concentrate on my homework assignment. It was no use though. For once, American History was not enough to hold my attention.

_Edward pulled back from the hug and cupped his hand to my cheek as he gave me a huge smile. I smiled a little before grabbing his hand in both of mine, playing idly with his fingers. I looked down at our hands as the realization of what just happened really took hold on me. Much like at camp, I was a little shocked. This time, not only had Edward given me head, I'd reciprocated. _I _had taken him into _my_ mouth. _

_But if I had to be honest with myself, I was also a little pleased with myself. I had been worried that I might not be good at it, but the look on his face as he came sent shivers down my spine. Though he had tried to warn me, I had swallowed everything he gave, determined to make him feel as good as he had me. My first reaction to feeling his cum hit my throat was the need to gag, which I managed to squash down. I wasn't sure if that part would ever be something I'd get used to, but it was worth it to me, if it meant seeing that look of pure bliss on his face. _

_He sat back against the couch and pulled me to him. He planted a kiss on the top of my head, and I couldn't help but smile into his chest. I sighed, wrapping my arms around his waist. He was tracing my arms with his fingers, it felt so nice._

_"Baby, what's wrong?"_

_I let out a long breath and shook my head. I wasn't ready to talk just yet. The slight panic I had felt about what had happened was lessening as my mind kept going over Edward's reactions. I felt his fingers run through my hair briefly. I loved when he did that. He lifted my chin up, forcing me to meet his eyes as he whispered softly._

_"Talk to me, please?"_

_The look in his eyes, the concern I could see plain as day, it made me realize how much care he was taking with me. And strangely, it pushed whatever else I was feeling aside, leaving only the satisfaction of knowing I could make him feel as good as he made me. I was... proud, of what I'd done, and that thought gave me pause. I frowned at first then tried to fight the smile that was busting to come out. _

_"It's nothing... just silly." _

_He frowned at me. _

_"What do you mean, 'silly'?"_

_I took a deep breath, deciding to just get it out, feeling nervous all of a sudden._

"_IwasafraidIwouldn't beanygoodmyfirsttime andIwantedtobeabletomake youfeelasgoodas youmademefeel."_

_I blushed and braced myself for his reaction. All he said was "Oh...", as he blinked. I could feel his body begin to shake with suppressed laughter, and when I heard him chuckle I sat back, glaring at him as I smacked his shoulder._

_"Not funny." I muttered._

_When he looked at me though, I couldn't help myself. And when he let loose, I soon found myself laughing right along with him. It felt great to actually laugh, releasing the tension that I had been feeling and lightening the moment. It took a few minutes before we pulled ourselves together. He cupped my face in both of his hands and looked me in the eye as he spoke._

_"Jasper, you have no idea how good you make me feel. You said that with me, you feel things you've never felt before. Well the same is true for me, baby."_

_His thumbs were stroking my cheekbones as he continued to meet my gaze for a moment longer. He tilted his head slightly and kissed me. It was slow and tender, filled with emotion as his lips moved with mine. I responded in kind, pouring everything I had into this kiss. I wasn't sure I'd have been able to say the words, but I wanted him to feel them all the same. I loved him._

_After several minutes, I pulled away slowly._

_"How about that dessert, darlin'?"_

_Edward chuckled softly and nodded._

_"Sure. Need any help?"_

_He let me go so I could get up, which I did reluctantly. I bit the inside of my cheek at the loss of contact, shaking my head._

_"No, it's all done."_

_With that, I walked into the kitchen to grab the plate of chocolate covered strawberries. As I returned to the living room, I found Edward gazing into the fireplace. He looked lost in his thoughts as I walked softly to him. I placed the plate onto the coffee table before sitting down next to him. He turned his head to me as I did so, his lips turned up in a lazy smile. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his briefly. I didn't think he'd noticed what I had carried in yet._

_"Close your eyes and open your mouth." I whispered._

_He did as I asked, and I smiled as I took a strawberry and placed it between his awaiting lips. He bit down and moaned softly as he chewed, opening his eyes to look into mine. I put the rest of the strawberry to his lips and he slowly took it in his mouth, as well as my fingers. I pulled them out slowly, and I could feel his tongue flick over them before releasing them. He smirked when I groaned softly in response._

_He grabbed a strawberry as well, putting it to my lips. I kept my eyes on his as I took it in my mouth, flicking my tongue against his fingers. His eyes darkened a little, but his smirk remained in place. We fed each other like that for a while, until Edward suddenly put both his hands to my face and kissed me. He kissed me as if he were a starving man and I was a fucking buffet. I opened my mouth and we were alternately tasting the other's mouth. God, he tasted of strawberries, chocolate and something all together Edward. I moaned softly as I felt his hand trail down my back._

_He pulled away, resting his forehead against mine, breathing heavily as he tried to speak._

_"Jazz, I think we should go to bed..."_

_I scrambled to my feet so fast, Edward all but fell over before he had the chance to react. I chuckled and held my hands out to him. He shook his head with a grin and grabbed my hands. I pulled him up and into my arms, kissing him briefly._

I nearly fell out of my chair as my phone started ringing. I was so startled that I picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Jasper? Is everything alright?"

"Edward?"

I frowned. _Why is he calling to see if I'm okay?_

"Yeah, it's me. Jazz, where are you?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, still feeling confused about the call, when my eyes fell on the little clock on my screen. I jumped out of my chair.

"Shit! I'm sorry, I lost track of time!"

I heard him give a small sigh of relief.

"That's okay. I'm just glad everything's alright. We've started class already though."

"I'll be there as soon as I can, Edward. I'm sorry..."

He interrupted me.

"Don't be. Just be safe, okay? I'll see you when you get here."

I hung up, cursing under my breath as I grabbed my things. I'd packed some extra clothing today, since I was staying the night with Edward. _What a great way to start off the weekend._ _Damn it, I'm never late._ I ran out the door, hopped on my bike and made it to the swimming hall in record time. I ran inside, and decided to pop my head in to let them know I was here. As I opened the door to the hall, Edward looked up with a mixture of relief and worry on his face. He motioned one of the helpers over to him. I closed the door again and went to the locker room.

I sat down, plopping my bag next to me, as I needed a moment to calm down and catch my breath. I leaned back against the wall, closing my eyes. I heard the door open, but couldn't make myself look up to see who it was. I didn't need to, I knew it was Edward. Moments later, I felt a hand on my cheek. I leaned into his caress and opened my eyes to look at him.

"Hey.... "

He frowned a little and shook his head.

"I was worried maybe you'd changed your mind about this weekend."

I blushed, though I doubt he noticed, since my face was probably still red from the ride over here.

"No... I didn't. I just..." I cleared my throat. "Got a little distracted while trying to do my homework and lost track of time, is all."

He quirked an eyebrow while he watched me. His lips pulled into that crooked grin as he replied.

"Distracted, huh? Nothing bad, I hope."

This time, I knew he'd catch the blush.

"I wouldn't say that, no..."

He chuckled softly.

"Just change for practice, we're almost done with class."

I scowled. I'd left them one person short.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I hate that I left you all hanging like that."

"Don't worry about it. Now go hit the shower."

He winked and then left to tend to the end of class. I got ready for training, still feeling disgruntled with myself. Training went by quickly. There were two games coming up in a few weeks, so we were concentrating on preparing for them. Edward had told us the teams we'd be facing were both very good, and that we'd need to be on top of our game in order to win. We'd be playing at our pool, and the day would be long, as three games were scheduled over the course of the day. Just as we'd face off with each team, they would play against each other.

After training, we quickly put everything away. It seemed everyone had plans this weekend and wanted to get to them. I was starting to feel a little nervous about tomorrow and as a result, was dragging my feet getting dressed. Everyone but Edward and Emmett had already left the locker room. I sat down to put my shoes on, taking longer than was necessary. Emmett came up to me and nudged my shoulder.

"Hey bro, you alright?"

I sighed and looked up.

"Yeah, Em, I'm okay."

He tilted his head as he gave me a scrutinizing look.

"Stop worrying about Eddie's folks, bro. They're good people."

I frowned at him, my mouth slightly agape in surprise.

"How did you....?" I groaned. "Rose...?"

He grinned and nodded as he slapped me on the back before walking off. I shook my head in amazement. Edward sat down next to me.

"You sure you want to go through with this, Jazz?"

I looked at him and grabbed his hand. I took a steadying breath, squeezing his hand. His eyes were cast downward.

"Yes, I'm sure, darlin'. I'm just nervous, that's all. I've never actually done the whole "meet the 'rents"-thing before, and certainly never received a dinner invitation."

His eyes shot up to mine and he looked surprised. I'd met some of the parents of the girls I'd gone out with over the years, but never in a setting like this. It had always been when I'd picked them up from their house, almost as an aside. Never a formal introduction like this.

"At all? Really?"

"Really."

I turned to him and hugged him, whispering into his ear.

"I want to meet your parents, Edward. But at the same time, it scares the hell out of me to do so. I don't know what to expect here."

He hugged me back and kissed my neck.

"Everything will be fine, baby, I know it will."

He pulled back and smiled softly at me. He grabbed my hand in his and stood up.

"Come on, let's go grab something to eat and maybe go see a movie after?"

I nodded and stood up, grabbing my things and followed him out. We went to dinner at the Irish place again, and I had a hard time not touching him. As much as I needed the physical reassurance, I wasn't comfortable doing that in public yet. I knew he understood, as he kept to himself mostly - just nudging my leg every now and again. After dinner, we went to see a movie. I couldn't tell you what we ended up watching, as my mind was too preoccupied with tomorrow evening's dinner. The fact that Edward had his arm around me and kept brushing his fingers against my neck didn't help my concentration either, though I wasn't about to complain.

* * *

I stared out of the window as we drove to Edward's parents' place. I was clutching a bottle of Brunello for his father and a bouquet of mixed flowers for his mom. My mother had deeply instilled in me and Rose that as dinner guests we should never arrive empty-handed. Edward insisted such a gesture was completely unnecessary, but I really wanted to make the best possible first impression on his parents. I'd been quiet the entire ride over, trying to stay calm and not think too much about what I was about to do. I felt Edward's hand on my thigh as he gave it a squeeze.

"We're here."

He turned into the driveway. I sat up a little straighter in my seat as I took in the scenery around me. There was a large pond, surrounded by trees, shrubs and various flowers. The house was big, but looked comfortable. I took a deep breath as he parked the car. I couldn't help but fidget in my seat. I heard Edward unbuckle his seatbelt, and then I felt his hands cup my face as he turned it so he could look me in the eye. I smiled softly at him.

"I can turn the car around and head home, if you want."

He caressed my cheekbones with his thumbs, keeping his eyes on me as his lips turned up in a half-smile. I knew that if I really wanted him to, he would do just that and make our excuses. _I can do this. I _want_ to do this. _I took another deep breath, turned my head slightly and placed a soft kiss on his wrist.

"Let's not keep them waiting."

He leaned forward and kissed me tenderly. I closed my eyes, letting my senses fill with Edward, calming my nerves. All too soon, he pulled away. He tilted his head to the front door of the house, and when I opened my eyes, I followed his gaze. A slender woman with caramel colored hair piled up in a loose bun stood in the doorway. She was wearing faded blue jeans with a white knitted v-neck top.

If I didn't know better, I would have thought her Edward's sister. She smiled brightly at us, motioning for us to come in. I glanced back at Edward, who was shaking his head with a grin.

"I guess we'd better go inside. It'd be a little difficult to make our excuses now."

He chuckled softly before kissing me briefly again. He got out of the car, walked around and opened my door. I took several deep breaths before stepping out. He slipped his arm around my waist after he closed and locked the car. I shifted the wine and flowers into one hand and slipped my arm around him as well, and we walked up the path to the door, where Esme stood waiting.

When we got to her, he leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek as she did the same with him.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Jasper. Jasper, this is my mother, Esme."

Edward removed his arm from around my waist and took a step back. At the same time, Esme came forward and enveloped me in a warm hug. I stood for a moment, shocked at such a warm welcome, before I awkwardly returned the hug with one arm as the other was full. I glanced over at Edward, who stood smiling at us.

"Jasper, I'm so pleased to finally meet you."

She stepped back with a smile and waved us inside.

"It's nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Cullen. Oh, this wine and these flowers are for you and Mr. Cullen."

"Esme, please, Jasper and thank you so much for the lovely flowers as well as the Brunello. I have just the place for flowers and will open the wine so it can breathe." She took the bottle of wine and the flowers, smiling warmly at me. "Please, come in. Carlisle is in the living room, dear."

She looked at Edward, who nodded as he grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. He pulled me inside and up the steps to the living room. I hardly knew where to look first. Esme stepped to the right into the open kitchen. The windows were huge and the view of the garden was breathtaking. Edward tugged at my hand and I followed him. The living room opened up before me. I saw the huge fireplace to the left and the tasteful furniture was welcoming without cluttering the room. There was a breath-taking view of the Sound, and I couldn't help but gasp a little at the sight. Edward squeezed my hand and grinned at me.

"Ah, Edward, you're here."

My head snapped to the right, where a blond haired gentleman stood up from a chair in the corner. He put the book he had been reading down and walked over to us. Edward let go of me to give his father a quick hug.

"Hey Dad."

I looked at the two men in front of me, my mouth open slightly. Aside from the difference in hair color, father and son looked incredibly alike. Carlisle had the bluest eyes I think I'd ever seen, and they seemed to sparkle with amusement as he noticed my gaping at them. I blushed and closed my mouth with a snap. I heard Edward chuckle softly and I shot him a glare as I felt my blush deepen. He cleared his throat, looking contrite as he introduced us.

"Dad, this is Jasper. Jasper, my father, Carlisle."

Carlisle extended his hand to me, a crooked smile on his lips, his eyes twinkling.

"Jasper! So you're the man behind the secret Instant Messaging at work."

I shot a look at Edward, and though I was taken aback by the comment, I took some satisfaction from the wide eyed look on his face.

"I suppose I am, sir."

"Call me Carlisle, Son."

He gestured for us to take a seat. Edward guided me to the sofa by the fireplace, facing the windows and sat down. I sat beside him, as Carlisle took a seat on the other couch. Esme walked in with a tray full of an assortment of cheeses, crackers, sliced baguettes, grapes, some chutney and what appeared to be a tomato salad.

"Gentlemen, given this beautiful Seattle evening, might I suggest we have some appetizers out on the patio?" cooed Esme as she headed toward a set of French doors leading out to the backyard.

Carlisle quickly rose from the couch so he could open the doors for his wife and follow her out to the patio. Edward was next to rise to his feet. "Come on, baby, they don't bite – much." Edward winked as he offered a hand to help me off the cushion.

"Thanks for the reassurance, darlin'" I smiled, following him to the doors.

* * *

**A/N: So how do you think Jasper's going to react? Next chapter'll be EPOV. **

**Leave the boys some love, they could use some by the time this night is through, I think ^_~**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **** Thanks to ForksReverie & JayceStorm for being my beta-fish and for letting me pick your brains. ^_~**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. These boys, totally own me. ^_~**

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_He gestured for us to take a seat. Edward guided me to the sofa by the fireplace, facing the windows and sat down. I sat beside him, as Carlisle took a seat on the other couch. Esme walked in with a tray full of an assortment of cheeses, crackers, sliced baguettes, grapes, some chutney and what appeared to be a tomato salad._

"_Gentlemen, given this beautiful Seattle evening, might I suggest we have some appetizers out on the patio?" cooed Esme as she headed toward a set of French doors leading out to the backyard. _

_Carlisle quickly rose from the couch so he could open the doors for his wife and follow her out to the patio. Edward was next to rise to his feet. "Come on, baby, they don't bite – much." Edward winked as he offered a hand to help me off the cushion._

"_Thanks for the reassurance, darlin'" I smiled, following him to the doors._

_************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************_

EPOV

I directed Jasper to a seat at the bar, squeezing his shoulder before taking the one next to him. I watched as he took in the surroundings. I followed his gaze, wondering what he thought of the set up my parents have. They have a state of the art outdoor kitchen on the patio, complete with a small fridge, sink, burners and, of course, a professional grade gas grill. Mom had put the tray of food down on the bar, before taking a seat next to me.

Carlisle poured us each a glass of Pinot Gris before taking his seat. I could tell that Jasper was still a little tense, so I put my hand on the small of his back, rubbing it gently in the hopes of calming his nerves a little. He gave a soft sigh as he smiled at me, mouthing "Thank you." I winked at him as I grabbed a few grapes, popping one in my mouth.

Per usual, Esme had outdone herself by preparing a delicious spread of appetizers. I noticed she had an assortment of cheeses - Stilton Bleu, Wisconsin Aged White Cheddar and French Camembert - served with various crackers and a sliced French baguette. Along with the grapes, she included a fresh fig chutney as well as her amazing Caprese salad which consists of slices of her home-grown heirloom tomatoes and basil alternated with a slices of fresh buffalo mozzarella and drizzled with her balsamic vinaigrette. Jasper's eyes widened at the full display of food. I leaned in and whispered, "Just so you know, this is just the warm-up, so save room for the main course." He turned toward me with raised eyebrows and simply nodded.

The exchange had not gone unnoticed by Esme and she gave me a look of understanding, before turning to Jasper.

"So where are you from, Jasper? Edward tells us that you recently moved to Seattle."

Jasper turned to look at my mom and said, "All over really. We just moved from San Bernardino County, California a few months ago. Dad's Army, meaning we've been around, so to speak."

He fidgeted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable with the subject matter. I saw Mom and Dad exchange knowing glances, and I was grateful when she changed the subject.

"Edward mentioned that you are a student, but not where you are attending. Are you enrolled at UW?"

The subject change seemed to help relax Jasper. "Actually, I take online courses at Ashford University; it has made life easier, what with the possibility of moving at the drop of a hat."

Carlisle took a sip of his wine, before turning to Jasper.

"Without a set class schedule, do you find it difficult to keep motivated to complete your schoolwork? I imagine it'd be easy to get distracted." I recognized that Carlisle was sporting the same half-smile that is so often on my face. _Thanks, Dad, way to make Jasper feel comfortable._

Jasper blushed slightly and looked down at his hands before answering. I frowned at Carlisle as I took this in, but Jasper's retort left me with no doubt that he was settling into the conversation. "Well, Carlisle, I previously had no issues maintaining a "normal" school schedule. It is only since moving to Seattle that I have met someone who definitely proves to be distracting." As a huge grin broke out on his face, I glanced at Esme, who was looking at me. She cocked an eyebrow and could not suppress her smile.

Carlisle seemed amused by Jasper's response and decided to continue his line of questioning. "Well, when you are not distracted by your studies, or my son," his eyebrow cocked at the words 'my son', "how do you like to spend your time?"

"I enjoy volunteering my time as a swim instructor at the swimming hall which is where Edward and I reconnected. I actually substituted for him for a month. Of course, water polo continues to be one of my favorite pastimes." He paused briefly, glancing at me before continuing. "My sister and I inherited some money from our grandfather, which means I'm fortunate enough not to have to work while getting my degree."

After some more conversation, Carlisle stood up and started to get everything together for the main course. He took the soaked cedar planks from the sink as we helped Esme gather up the leftover appetizers which she then put away in the kitchen. By the time she came back, Carlisle had the salmon fillets on the planks and was almost finished applying his 'secret' herb rub to them. Esme turned the grill on before returning to her seat.

Jasper cleared his throat, visibly more at ease than when we arrived. He turned to Carlisle with a grin.

"Carlisle, can I ask you something?"

I watched as my father put the cedar planks onto the grill before turning his attention to Jasper. I wondered what he wanted to know. I picked up my glass, which was almost empty, and twirled it gently between my fingers.

"Of course, Jasper."

"Well, I know from Edward that at times he has needed to resolve issues with your computer, which leads me to wonder how does someone who appears to be . . . um . . . _technologically challenged_, become the man behind Cullen Tech?"

My eyes widened a little and I fought a chuckle as I nudged Jasper's side. He turned and winked at me. _Well, he's definitely feeling more comfortable!_ I shook my head and with some difficulty was able to maintain a straight face as my mother piped up.

"Oh dear, believe me, the irony of that isn't lost on us."

She laughed and reached over to pat Jasper's hand. Carlisle chuckled.

"Well, it was an interesting turn of events, to be honest. I had studied to become a doctor. During my internship at the hospital where my uncle worked as well, I found myself frustrated with process inefficiencies that resulted in our patients getting less attention from the medical staff. I was particularly struck when a patient died simply because a crash cart didn't function. That death could have been avoided if there were a way to ensure all devices are checked at regular intervals. Uncle Aro agreed that there was a market for trying to match up technologies with the different medical areas, and things kind of went from there."

Dad's passions were running high as he retold the impetus for the company so I took over for him. "It started as a family business, and Uncle Aro remains our advisor to this day. Dad and his sister Elizabeth founded the business. Dad had some medical knowledge that we needed, but it turned out he had a real affinity for the business side. He just... isn't so good with the actual technology." I chuckled. "Sorry, Dad."

He grinned, "When you're right, you're right, Son." He winked at me and I continued.

"Anyway, Aunt Elizabeth had a knack for the technology, so she handled most of that in the beginning. As the business grew, more family members joined. Kate, Irina and Tanya are now a part of Cullen Tech, as well as Garrett." At Jasper's look of confusion, I added. "The girls are Dad's cousins and Garrett is an old friend of his."

Jasper nodded in understanding, but frowned slightly as he looked at me.

"You said she 'had' a knack?"

Understanding what he was asking about Aunt Elizabeth, I sighed and nodded. I noticed that Carlisle was looking at Esme with sadness in his eyes.

"Aunt Elizabeth passed away about 4 years ago."

"Oh. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean...."

"Don't worry about it, dear." Esme smiled reassuringly at Jasper, reaching for his hand again and squeezing it softly.

Carlisle then turned his attention back to the food for a little while, adding some asparagus to the grill. It was starting to smell really good. Esme got the Orzo salad from the fridge, then helped my dad to plate the food. After handing one to each of us, she sat back down as Carlisle refilled our glasses.

We ate quietly for a while, enjoying the food. Carlisle had outdone himself on the salmon. My dad loved grilling, and did so as often as he was able. After a few minutes, Jasper looked up at my mom.

"So what do you do, Esme?"

She smiled and put her utensils down for a moment and gestured to the house.

"I dabble in interior design as well as landscaping. I decorated this place myself, and I did most of the garden work. Edward even let me do up his place a few years ago."

She gave me a sly grin and I rolled my eyes, chuckling softly.

"You did? I'm impressed. You seem to have captured his personality very well, and I love your home, too. What I've seen of it, anyway."

"Why thank you, Jasper. We'll have to give you the grand tour at some point."

She winked at him and resumed eating. Conversation flowed easily enough as we finished our meal, mostly about hobbies and travels. I didn't pay very much attention, as I was busy watching Jasper. He seemed okay for the most part, but every now and again I could tell something was nagging at him.

Mom and Dad insisted that we relax while they did the dishes and put things away. It was their way of allowing us a moment alone, and for Jasper to collect his thoughts. He'd gotten up and walked over to the bench that was on the opposite side of the porch, and sat watching the Sound. I silently thanked them for this private moment as I sat down next to him, sitting sideways on the bench. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and rested my chin on his shoulder.

He leaned into me a little, resting his cheek against my hair. We sat silently like this for a few minutes, just taking in the view of the Sound. I kissed him softly on the neck, just below his ear, squeezing him to me as I whispered to him.

"What are you thinking about?"

He sighed and closed his eyes as he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Your parents. How welcoming they have been to me. They obviously love you very much, Edward."

He opened his eyes and turned to look at me with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry." He shook his head a little. "Now's not the time for me to start worrying about the unknown."

I knew what he meant, and I wished I could honestly tell him everything would be okay. That his parents would love and accept him, just as mine had. I knew he wanted that acceptance, for him and for 'us'. _Jazz baby, I can only hope that your parents won't react as poorly as you fear they will._ I sighed softly.

"I know, Jazz. It's okay."

He reached his hand up to my cheek, caressing it briefly before leaning in and kissing me tenderly on the lips. I closed my eyes as I returned the kiss, forgetting we weren't alone. We pulled apart quickly when we heard Esme clear her throat. I gave Jasper a final squeeze before standing up. He took my offered hand as he got up, following me back to the bar. As I passed Esme, I kissed her on the cheek.

I gaped at the clear glass, footed dessert dish in front of me and then beamed up at Esme.

"Is this what I think it is?"

She grinned and nodded.

"Tiramisu. I know it's one of your favorites, dear."

I quickly leaned forward and planted a big kiss on her cheek, causing her to laugh. She glanced over at Jasper as she dished up servings for each of us.

"Jasper, dear, you might want to make sure you eat yours quickly, or you'll risk Edward here confiscating it. Sometimes I think I should make individual ones because the bowl seems to empty fast. Mostly due to this one right here." She slapped my shoulder lightly for emphasis, and I laughed.

"Hey, I can't help if you make the best tiramisu in the continental US."

She giggled and shook her head. Carlisle just had a bemused expression on his face as he tucked into his dessert. I grabbed my spoon and made as if to dig into Jasper's dish, but he snatched it away and growled, looking fiercely at me.

"No way, mister, this is mine."

Everyone laughed and then watched as Jasper took his first bite. His facial expression instantly changed into something close to orgasmic and he let out a soft moan as he looked up at Esme with wide eyes.

"Oh. My. God. Esme..."

I chuckled and dug into my own dessert, muttering between spoonfuls.

"Told ya."

After Jasper and I had seconds on dessert, we moved to the seating area so we could relax. It started to get a little chilly, so Carlisle turned on the patio heaters. Esme made sure we all had drinks, though I switched to water as I would be driving us home. Jasper and I had chosen the loveseat, Esme and Carlisle had each taken a chair on either side of us. I put my arm around Jasper's shoulder, lazily trailing my fingers on his arm. It felt nice, right, and I hoped we could enjoy many evenings like this.

Jasper seemed so much more relaxed now, the laughter earlier having eased the rest of his tension and anxiety. His hand was resting on my knee, which I took as a sign of his comfort level around my parents. Esme grinned and looked from Jasper to me, though she addressed him. _Oh no, please, Mom. Please don't...._ I shot her a pleading look, hoping she would relent.

"Jasper, dear? Would you like to see pictures of Edward growing up?"

She smiled softly, giving me a look that said quite plainly that this wasn't something to be debated. She enjoyed the torture too much. I groaned, leaning my head back, but not before I saw Jasper grin and nod at her. I muttered.

"Traitor..."

Esme patted my other knee as she got up and went inside. A few minutes later, she returned with an armful of photo albums. Jasper chuckled as he scooted forward in his seat, so he could see the pictures as Esme put the albums on the small table in front of us. I sighed in defeat, leaned forward and tried to stifle another groan as she started with the dreaded baby album. _Great. Thanks so much, Mom._ I glared at her, but she just rolled her eyes and started pointing out the different pictures, relating the story behind them to Jasper.

As an only child, there were, of course, copious amounts of naked baby and toddler pictures. Jasper chuckled through most of it, and I was glad that he'd kept his hand on my knee, squeezing it from time to time. Carlisle sat back and watched us for the most part, only interjecting every now and then with a comment about a picture. Jasper seemed to really warm up to Esme the more they talked. _I guess this is worth the torture, to see him getting along so well with them. _I sighed and placed my hand on his shoulder.

He looked up at me with a big smile, and I couldn't do anything other than return it. Esme had just gotten to some pictures of me playing the piano. She pointed out a particular photo to Jasper, telling him about the song I'd been playing. It had been for their 20th anniversary, and I'd composed a song as one of my gifts to them.

"You play music, too, don't you, Jasper? I seem to remember Edward saying something about playing together at camp."

I chuckled as Jasper blushed slightly at the mention of camp. He nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. I play guitar, mostly, but a few other instruments, too."

Esme turned to me.

"Edward, do you think you could play for us tonight? Let Jasper hear the song you wrote?"

Everyone turned to me then. I looked from my mother to Jasper, who seemed very interested to hear it, so I nodded. I clapped my hands to my thighs as I got up.

"Alright then. Let's head inside."

I walked inside to the baby grand piano tucked away in the corner. I sat down on the piano bench and turned to look at Jasper. I followed his gaze as he took in the wall behind me and noted that they had guitars hanging, much the same as I did at my place. I grinned at him and cocked an eyebrow.

"Where did you think I got my interest in music from?"

I patted the bench beside me, hoping he'd sit with me as I played. He smiled and sat down.

"Stop talking, start playing, mister."

"Yes, sir!"

I laughed softly as I began to play the song. For a moment, I forgot where I was and who was with me, as I let myself get lost in the music. As the song came to an end, I looked up to see Carlisle and Esme dancing in the middle of the room. I turned to Jasper who was watching them with a soft smile playing on his lips. I cupped his face with my hand, brushing my thumb over his cheekbone. I grinned and nodded towards the guitars.

"They're all in tune. Are you up for playing some?"

"Sure."

He got up and grabbed one of the guitars, sitting on the stool next to the piano this time, so he'd have room to play. I pulled out the sheet music for a song I had in mind. I showed it to him, it was 'Fly Me To The Moon' which was written and composed by Bart Howard and recorded by many singers over the years, including Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra.

"You know it?"

He nodded and strummed the guitar for a moment as he skimmed the notes. I waited for him to be ready, and when he nodded again, I began to play. Mom and Dad were watching us, standing to the side of the piano. When the music began, Carlisle held a hand out to Esme and they started dancing again. I knew this was one of their favorite songs, which is partly why I'd chosen it. I began singing and as I knew the song by heart, I was able to keep my eyes mostly on Jasper.

He had an almost dreamy expression on his face as we played. He looked up into my eyes as I sang the last two verses. I felt my heart beat a little faster, hoping he'd hear me, even if I couldn't tell him yet.

_"Fill my heart with song,_

_And let it sing forever more._

_You are all I long for,_

_All I worship and adore._

_In other words_

_Please be true._

_In other words,_

_I love you."_


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: **** Thanks to ForksReverie & JayceStorm for being my beta-fish and for letting me pick your brains. ^_~**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. These boys have a healthy appetite ^_~**

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

_He had an almost dreamy expression on his face as we played. He looked up into my eyes as I sang the last two verses. I felt my heart beat a little faster, hoping he'd hear me, even if I couldn't tell him yet._

_"Fill my heart with song,_

_And let it sing forever more._

_You are all I long for,_

_All I worship and adore._

_In other words_

_Please be true._

_In other words,_

_I love you."_

JPOV

I glanced at Edward as he drove us home. The evening had gone by quickly, and I spent the drive home thinking about it. I took his hand in mine, entwining our fingers as I rested them on the console between us. I smiled at him as he looked at me briefly, and squeezed my hand. He was letting me process the evening, and I appreciated it very much. As he turned his attention back to the road, I continued to examine his expression. He appeared more relaxed and much happier than he was before we went to his parents' place.

I thought back to how nervous I had been and it almost seemed silly now. Esme and Carlisle both gave me a warm welcome into their home. They had done everything to try and make me feel at ease. Esme in particular had been very affectionate and I was looking forward to getting to know her better.

_Esme hugged me tightly as we were about to leave. She looked at me with a warm smile._

_"Jasper, if you are available, would you join me for lunch one day next week?"_

_I glanced at Edward with surprise before focusing on Esme again._

_"Uhm, sure, Esme. I'd like that, thank you."_

_Her smile brightened as she patted my arm gently._

_"Is it alright if I call you, so we can schedule a time?"_

_"Of course."_

We exchanged phone numbers, and after hugging Edward goodbye, she gave me another hug, and whispered "Thank you, Jasper." I wasn't entirely sure what she was thanking me for, so I just nodded after hugging her back.

I sighed softly, before bringing our joined hands to my lips, kissing Edward's knuckles. He turned to look at me with a lifted eyebrow and a crooked smile.

"What was that for?"

I chuckled and shook my head.

"No reason."

I kissed the back of his hand as he squeezed mine. He chuckled softly as he focused on his driving again. I wondered briefly what he was thinking, but figured he was probably replaying the evening like I was. I couldn't keep the smile from my lips as I thought about earlier in the evening when we had played together. The music he'd written for his parents had been amazing. I'd known he composed music, but was incredibly impressed by - _and proud of_ - his music and its beauty. And then when he had sung 'Fly Me To The Moon', it almost felt as he was singing it just for me.

_I was able to continue playing the guitar, but only barely. I'd forgotten all about Esme and Carlisle, as I focused on Edward. My heart was beating so fast I'd have sworn it would fly out of my chest and keep going to the moon. When the song concluded, we just stared at each other for a few heartbeats. The last few lines were ringing in my ears. "__In other words, please be true. In other words, I love you."_

_I wanted to know if he was just singing a romantic love song or if the lyrics had a more specific message. But I didn't ask – I was just too nervous - and yet I had a strange compulsion to tell him how I felt. The right words were escaping me and I just sat there. Then Edward leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the lips, effectively breaking the trance I'd been in. _

Edward squeezed my hand, trying to get my attention. I blinked, shaking my head before turning to look at him. He removed his hand from mine, lifting it to my cheek instead. He caressed my face with the back of his fingers as he watched me carefully.

"We're home, baby. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, was just thinking about tonight."

I smiled softly at him, catching his hand in mine before bringing his fingers to my lips again. _'We're home', I like the sound of that. _I shook off the thought as I let go of his hand. I got out of the car and waited for him to join me. As soon as he was close enough, I put my fingers through his belt-loops and pulled him to me, slipping my arms around his waist. I needed to have him closer. I felt him put his arms around me as he rested his head on my shoulder. He gave a sigh of contentment as I placed a soft kiss on his neck.

"Thank you." I murmured.

He pulled back a little to look in my eyes, he had a puzzled expression and I couldn't quite stifle the chuckle that wanted to escape my lips.

"For tonight and for always being there." I specified.

He grinned crookedly before kissing me tenderly.

"Always. Come on, let's get upstairs, baby."

We each kept an arm around the other's waist as we headed to the elevator. Once we were inside, I leaned into him, brushing my lips against his several times before he caught mine. I moaned into the kiss as he put his hand against the small of my back, pressing my hips into his. I felt his hands run slowly up my back as I pulled away from the kiss, sighing softly against his lips. I felt so content being with him, I couldn't recall ever having been with anyone before and feeling this happy, this whole. I gazed into his eyes, smiling softly at him. His answering smile made my breath hitch. _I love him. Tell him! _

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, but no words came out. Again. _Why can't I tell him? It's three little words. Little they may be, but they can change your life, Jasper. _I sighed, and at that moment, the elevator doors opened on our floor. _Our floor. We're home. I'm home. _Edward opened the door and waited for me to go through, but I was so lost in thought, I just stood there. It wasn't until he put his hand on my shoulder that I snapped out of it, and looked at him.

"Sorry." I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. _Pull yourself together, man. _

Once inside, Edward drew me over to the couch, and we cuddled together. He wrapped his arms around me as I sat next to him curling my legs under me. He placed a soft kiss on the crown of my head, murmuring.

"So what did you think? Was it as bad as you feared?"

I could practically hear his smirk. I elbowed him lightly in the ribs as I gave him a sideways glance, trying hard to keep a straight face. _Time to have a little bit of fun with him._

"Worse."

He pulled away and looked at me with a frown.

"Worse? Why?"

"Yes, worse! That picture of you on your parents' anniversary?" I shuddered for effect. "I mean, that slicked forward Caesar cut? Really, Edward?"

I tried to keep a straight face as I looked at him, but he seemed so shocked at my comment that it was hard to do so. I started to laugh and ruffled his hair as he gaped at me.

"Give me sex-hair any day."

I winked at him, grinning widely as he just shook his head.

He muttered. "Unbelievable...."

I took a deep breath and cupped his cheek in my hand.

"In all seriousness though, no, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Your parents are wonderful people, darlin'. You're very lucky to have them in your life."

He smiled warmly at me before turning his head enough to place a kiss in the palm of my hand.

"They're a part of your life now, too, baby."

"I think I like that." I chuckled. "Especially if it means more of your mother's tiramisu!"

Edward growled so softly I almost couldn't hear it, but I could feel the vibrations in his chest as I sat against him. His eyes got darker as he pushed me down on the sofa, leaning over me like a cat would over its prey. I raised an eyebrow at him, grinning.

"As much as I enjoyed the look on your face when you had the tiramisu, I much prefer seeing it in private. You looked like you were about to come," He palmed my groin, causing me to moan and my eyes to roll back. "And _that_ is definitely something I'd rather not see caused by anyone but me."

My voice was a little rough as I attempted to answer him, not quite ready to give in.

"Well, the tiramisu was _very_ good."

He leaned down further so his lips were brushing against my ear as he whispered huskily.

"I can give you far better than that, Jazz."

I shivered and let out a soft "Fuck...." as he sucked on my earlobe.

He murmured. "My pleasure, baby."

With that, he shot off the couch and grabbed my hand, pulling me up so I was standing flush against his body. My breath hitched slightly when I saw the look of sheer want in his eyes. The fire in them igniting my own, I reached my hand up and fisted his hair, pulling his face to mine as I kissed him hungrily. I pulled away and whispered against his lips.

"Promises, promises, Edward."

His eyes shot to mine briefly before he spun around and dragged me to the bedroom. Once we were by the bed, he grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it up and over my head without bothering to undo the buttons. It landed somewhere on the floor, but I paid no attention to it. His hands were already unbuckling my belt and my unusually nimble fingers were unbuttoning his shirt, pushing it back over his shoulders. My belt loose, he allowed me to pull off his shirt before tending to my jeans.

By the time we were both undressed, my heart was beating a mile a minute and my mind had gone blank, leaving all of my senses to focus on him. I heard Edward take a deep breath as if to steady himself, while he slowly trailed his hands down from my shoulders to my hands. He squeezed my hands as he kissed me briefly. I lay down on the bed, pulling him to me so he was lying between my legs. He put his arms on either side of me, leaning on them so his weight wasn't fully on me. I let my fingers move lazily up and down his back. Part of me was burning for him, and another was a little worried about what that meant for what was to come. _Okay, maybe a lot worried. _

He bent down, taking my lower lip between his and sucked lightly on it before letting it go. He rocked his hips slowly, and I moaned as his cock rubbed against mine. In our haste to get to the bedroom, I realized we didn't shut off the lights in the living room nor closed the blinds. The room was in semi-darkness, allowing us to see each other without the feeling of being on display. I stared into Edward's eyes, the desire and love reflected in them was so overwhelming, it left me breathless.

"Edward...."

He shifted slightly against me as he caressed my cheek. His eyes still burning, I could almost see as he tried to rein himself in. My heart ached at the thought of him holding back – again – waiting for me to be ready. _How do I fix this? Don't fuck this up, Jasper. It's time to move forward, and you need to let him know. You know you want to, so just do it! This is Edward and you want, no need, to have a more intimate relationship with him. _

His voice was rough with emotion as he started to speak. "Jazz, I'm sor..."

I cut him off as I grabbed his face in both my hands and planted a searing kiss on his lips. I felt him respond in kind. As the kiss concluded, leaving both of us panting, I pulled away to look him directly in the eye, needing him to know I was ready – that I was sure.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Edward." My voice was so husky; I barely got it above a whisper as I continued. "Darlin', please, I need you to know how much you mean to me. Since we found each other again, I have felt so loved and happy. Edward, I want to be fully connected with you - I-I love you..."

I saw Edward's body still and a slight gasp escaped his lips as his eyes searched mine. My heart was now beating triple-time and I could hear the blood pounding in my ears as I watched him. _Why is he so quiet? Please say something, Edward. _He blinked once, twice; his eyes glistening slightly. And then his face lit up with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. He cupped his hand to my cheek, his thumb caressing my cheekbone as he spoke softly.

"I love you, too, Jasper. So very much. I have wanted to tell you for so long, but I didn't want to pressure you."

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding, relief flooding me at his words. I had known, deep down, he loved me. He'd shown me as much at every turn, by his actions. _For_ _God's sake, the man bought a bike rack and had it installed on his precious Lexus! _But to hear him say the words elated me, and I felt my own smile in answer to his. His lips met mine in a slow, tender kiss. My hands moved to his hair, running my fingers through his silken locks. I tilted my head slightly, my tongue begging for entry into his mouth. He opened his lips and our tongues moved languidly together. The lustful inferno from earlier was gone, replaced by slow, hot burning embers, and it felt perfect. I pulled away from his lips, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses along his jaw to his ear and breathed into it.

"Show me, Edward. Please?"

"Are you sure, Jazz?"

I nodded and he kissed me briefly.

He rolled off of me and opened the drawer of the bedside table. He reached inside, pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom. I could feel the blush creeping up my neck as I remembered what Rose had done. _Stop right there, because nothing is going to kill this moment faster than images of your sister!_ I caught Edward's eyes and he chuckled softly as though he had just read my mind. He placed the items on the table and moved back to me, stroking my cheek, his eyes on mine.

"You'll need to relax, baby."

He moved the bottle and condom onto the bed so they were within his reach. I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm my nerves. Edward's hands returned to hold my face as he kissed my lips. He swiftly moved his attention to my jaw, followed by licking my neck and grabbing my earlobe between his teeth. I shuddered slightly as I felt his hot breath on my neck as he said "Jazz, we are in this together and we will move at your pace." I gave a quick nod of acknowledgement knowing I could not trust my voice given all the emotions that were whirling within me – lust and love, tinged with fear and anxiety.

Edward moved his hands and mouth down my body, placing tender kisses as he went. When he got to my left nipple he leisurely swirled his tongue around it causing the sensitive nub to pebble and harden. As his mouth continued its ministrations, his fingers found my right nipple and he gently rolled it between his thumb and forefinger. As his teeth grazed my nipple, my back arched causing my hardened cock to brush his thigh, bringing a quick groan from my lips. He kept his eyes on me, his hands caressing every part of me he could reach. His movements were slow and patient, every caress leaving my skin ablaze. I tried to stay focused on him and the sublime pleasure he was bringing me, to distract me from my building anxiety. I reminded myself that this was Edward and that I wanted this with him.

My cock twitched as Edward kissed the tip of it before running his tongue down my shaft. I moaned as he slowly took me in his mouth. His movements were gentle and steady, designed to please but not bring release. He was aiming to distract me and it was working. He hummed as he continued to suck lightly, I closed my eyes and was soon so lost to the sensation that I didn't hear the soft 'snap' of the lid as he opened the bottle of lube.

I flinched as I felt his finger press slowly into me, hissing at the unexpected intrusion and slight discomfort. My eyes flew open and my body tensed. He released my cock from his mouth and whispered softly.

"Try to relax, baby. Right now I am just trying to prepare you. If it gets to be too much or you want me to stop, just tell me." He returned to my mouth to give me a soft, reassuring kiss. Once I was calmed, his other hand wrapped around my shaft and he stroked it a few times before continuing. "Focus on me and the pleasure."

I nodded, not trusting my voice at that moment. _Trust him, focus on him. _I took a steadying breath and did my best to relax. Edward took me in his mouth again and before long I could feel his finger pumping in and out of me in a slow rhythm, stroking against my prostate; the discomfort soon forgotten.

I moaned. "Fuck..."

He slipped in a second finger, causing me to hiss again. He paused for a moment watching me to assess my comfort as he continued to slide his fingers in and out. He placed a kiss on the inside of either thigh before adding a third finger. The feeling was intense as he slowly stretched me, each one of his movements stroking my prostate. I was grasping at the sheets, needing to do something as he continued his measured pace. The need to feel _him_ inside of me, to gain some release was building. _Good God...please..._

My eyes searched for his as I let out another moan. "Please, Edward....I need you inside me."

He pulled his fingers out after one final stroke and reached for the condom wrapper, but I snatched it from his fingers. He gave me his crooked smirk as I opened the condom wrapper with my teeth. While sporting my own grin, I rolled the condom down his hardened shaft and coated him with lube before tossing the bottle on the bedside table. It rolled off the edge and fell to the floor, but neither of us could be bothered by that right now. He settled himself between my legs, hitching them up over his hips. He leaned forward a little, positioning his cock at my entrance and I could feel his head pressing against me.

"I love you, Jazz."

I reached a hand to his face, stroking his cheek, nodding for him to continue.

"I love you, too, Edward."

With that, he pressed slowly into me and I gasped as I felt him penetrate me. He paused to allow me time to adjust to the feel of him. Although it hurt more than his fingers had, the desire to be fully connected with Edward was even stronger. He slowly pressed further in at steady intervals so I could accommodate him. I focused on breathing and trying to relax. Once he was sheathed to the hilt, he stopped momentarily and just watched my face. Taking a moment to adjust to being filled by him, the initial pain dissipated as I fully focused on the feel of him inside of me.

After a moment though I needed friction and began pushing my hips against him to alert him that I was ready for more. Edward rocked his hips back and forth, causing us both to moan. With every pass, my body felt more and more as if it were on fire. I bucked my hips, urging him to move faster. When he did, my eyes rolled back into my head. I felt him shift over me as he leaned down, capturing my lips with his. The change in angle caused him to go even deeper. I feverishly kissed him back, my hands running through his hair, over his back, anywhere I could reach. I just needed to feel more of him, everything of him.

As Edward quickened his thrusts, he also began stroking my cock; my every sense was overwhelmed by him and I felt myself spiraling towards my release. He pulled back from our kiss, lifting himself up slightly, and this final change in positioning pushed me over the edge. I let loose a strangled cry as I came hard over Edward's hand and both of our chests. My back arched and I felt my muscles spasm, clenching around Edward's cock and bringing him to his own release, prolonging the sensations washing over me.

"Oh God, Jasper......"

As he finally stilled, he rested his head against my shoulder. We were both panting for breath. My throat constricted as I put my arms around him clutching him as close as possible to my body. My senses, my emotions all seemed to be in overdrive and I was reeling. I had never in my life had such an intense sexual experience as this, and it was because of him. I knew without a doubt that Edward was my world now, and that we had just cemented that bond in the most basic of ways.

I felt Edward's fingers as he wiped away stray tears off my cheek, his eyes were intent on mine filled with concern and love. I smiled softly at him; I hadn't even realized I'd started to cry.

"Are you alright?" He whispered.

"Never better, darlin'."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **** Thanks to ForksReverie & JayceStorm for being my beta-fish and for letting me pick your brains. ^_~**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. The boys just enjoy some sweet lovin' ^_~**

**By the by, just wanted to thank everyone for the patience you have shown for the last chapter. **

**(and again for this one.)**

**The love you've given these boys amazes and humbles me. You're the best readers a girl could ask for. **

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

_As he finally stilled, he rested his head against my shoulder. We were both panting for breath. My throat constricted as I put my arms around him clutching him as close as possible to my body. My senses, my emotions all seemed to be in overdrive and I was reeling. I had never in my life had such an intense sexual experience as this, and it was because of him. I knew without a doubt that Edward was my world now, and that we had just cemented that bond in the most basic of ways. _

_I felt Edward's fingers as he wiped away stray tears off my cheek, his eyes were intent on mine filled with concern and love. I smiled softly at him; I hadn't even realized I'd started to cry. _

_"Are you alright?" He whispered._

_"Never better, darlin'."_

EPOV

It was quiet in the swimming hall. I'd gotten there half an hour earlier than normal, hoping to avoid being in the locker room at the same time as Jasper. I could not be that close to him and not do or say something that might make him uncomfortable; not when there were showers involved at least. It felt as if, now that we'd told one another how we felt, I couldn't stop wanting to tell him all the time. I'd thought maybe it'd get easier to be around him once I'd told him I loved him, but instead it was proving to be worse in some ways.

I sighed as I let the spray of the water cascade down my back, letting it wash away some of the nerves I was feeling. This was the second class and training session since that night, and the first day had been so hard. Everything in me wanted to hold him close, to touch, to kiss and to tell him 'I love you' at every opportunity. Jasper seemed to have difficulty as well, probably doubly so because he was still holding back about coming out. This wasn't something I could push him on, I knew this already, but damn if it wasn't biting me in the ass right now. It felt like all I wanted to do was to shout it off the rooftops, to show everyone that Jasper was mine, that he loved _me_ and I him. And I couldn't. Up until now, I hadn't allowed myself to think too much on it, but after last weekend, it was as if it was constantly on my mind, and it was frustrating the hell out of me.

I got out of the shower and pulled on my trunks and a shirt, walking into the hall. Figuring I might as well get everything ready for class, I gathered the ropes and put them in the water to make lanes. The kids were supposed to train for an upcoming event the club was holding. The club hosted an annual marathon-type of event for swimmers, to raise money for a designated charity. Each year they chose a different one; this year it was 'The Boys and Girls Club of America.'

Set up only took a few minutes, and I found myself with time on my hands. I sat down in the stands, my arms resting on my knees, staring blankly ahead, my mind wandering to last weekend.

_The night had gone so much better than I had expected. Mom and Dad were very taken with Jasper, as I had known they would be. When Esme asked him out to lunch this week, I wasn't surprised. I was elated that they had hit it off, and that Jasper had felt comfortable around them. _

_He'd been quiet on the way home. I knew he was thinking about what had happened and that he needed the space to collect his thoughts. I was happy to give it to him, he was much more at ease, and I was grateful for it. When we got home, he seemed distracted though. When I pulled him to me and snuggled with him on the couch, he quickly snapped out of his pensive mood and turned playful. I hadn't expected him to tease me, but I took it as a good sign. _

_However, when he brought up what happened over dessert, I growled, remembering how he had looked. I pushed him back against the couch so I was leaning over him, he was just grinning up at me._

_"As much as I enjoyed the look on your face when you had the tiramisu, I much prefer seeing it in private. You looked like you were about to come," I palmed his groin, causing him to moan and I smirked as I noticed his eyes roll back. "And that is definitely something I'd rather not see caused by anyone but me."_

_His voice was rough as he spoke, "Well, the tiramisu was _very _good."_

_I was about ready to forget all about taking things easy, I wanted him so badly at that point. I leaned down, grazing my lips over his ear as I whispered my voice husky with want, "I can give you far better than that, Jazz." _

_I sucked on his earlobe, I felt him shiver as a soft 'Fuck..." escaped his lips. God, I wanted him._

_I murmured softly in response, "My pleasure, baby." And shot off the couch, pulling him up against me. My body felt as if it was on fire from the desire I felt for him. My eyes burned into his, and before I knew it, he had his hands in my hair, kissing me hungrily before whispering to me, "Promises, promises, Edward."_

_Something snapped inside of me at his words, suddenly I couldn't get him to my...our bed fast enough. I didn't even bother with the lights or the blinds, I just wanted him, now. Once we got to the side of the bed, I pulled off his shirt, not taking the time to unbutton it, tossing it aside. I didn't care where it landed, my focus was directed solely at the man in front of me. I felt his fingers work on the buttons of my shirt as I worked on his jeans. The clothes just had to go._

_I took a deep breath as I watched Jasper, trying to regain my senses and get some control over my need for him. I let my hands slide from his shoulders down to his hands, squeezing them as I kissed him. Jasper went to lay down on the bed, pulling me to him. I placed my hands on either side of him in an effort to keep my weight off of him, enjoying the feel of his fingers as he trailed his fingers over my back. I lowered myself slowly, taking his lower lip, sucking lightly on it. I rocked my hips slowly, earning a moan from him. _God, I love the feel of him against me.

_We looked into each other's eyes, and I could see his want, as well as hesitation, fear even. His whispered, "Edward..." stopped me short. _What am I doing? I'm pushing him._ The thought of pushing him into this when he wasn't ready made my heart ache. I couldn't do that to him, _would not_ do that. I shifted slightly so I could caress his cheek. My voice was rough as I started to speak, "Jazz, I'm sor..."_

_I never got to finish my sentence, as the next thing I knew, he was crashing his lips to mine with such intensity I could only respond in kind. The fire behind his kiss nearly consumed every thought I had. He held my face in both his hands, and he didn't pull away until we needed to catch our breath. He looked me right in the eye as he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. _

_"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Edward! Darlin', please, I need you to know how much you mean to me. Since we found each other again, I have felt so loved and happy. Edward, I want to be fully connected with you - I-I love you..." _

_I stilled and gasped at his words, the three words I had most longed to hear from him, had most longed to say. My eyes darted between his as my heart soared. I could have wept for joy, and very nearly did. I blinked rapidly as I tried to find my voice. I smiled at him as I cupped his cheek, caressing his cheekbone with my thumb as I spoke softly, "I love you, too, Jasper. So very much. I have wanted to tell you for so long, but I didn't want to pressure you."_

_After we kissed for a while - sweet, tender kisses - he shook me again by asking me to show him. I asked if he was sure. God knows I wanted nothing more than to make love to him, but he had to be sure. He nodded, so I rolled off of him, grabbing a condom and lube from the bedside drawer. I glanced over at him and noted a slight blush on his cheeks, and I couldn't help but chuckle at him, sure that he remembered Rose. I needed for him to relax though, and thinking about his sister would not be helpful. _

_I placed the items on the table so I could stroke his cheek. I watched him closely, looking for any sign that he was changing his mind. I saw none, so I told him to relax. He took a deep breath. I kissed him on the lips before moving to his jaw, licking his neck and nibbling on his earlobe. I breathed onto his neck as I spoke softly, "Jazz, we are in this together and we will move at your pace." _

_At his nod, I made my way down his body slowly, caressing, kissing every inch of him I could reach. I knew I needed to get him past the point of fear, give him pleasure to focus on instead. I kept my eyes on him, taking my cues from him. I kissed the tip of his cock, causing it to twitch. I ran my tongue down his shaft before I took him into my mouth. My movements were slow and steady. I wanted to make him feel good – to distract him – and it seemed to be working. I opened the bottle of lube and after putting some on my fingers I pressed a finger into him slowly. He tensed and hissed, so I released his cock from my mouth to speak to him, _

_"Try to relax, baby. Right now I am just trying to prepare you. If it gets to be too much or you want me to stop, just tell me." I leaned forward to give him a kiss, I could feel him relax a little and I wrapped my hand around his shaft as I spoke again, "Focus on me and on the pleasure."_

_He nodded and took a deep breath. I took his shaft in my mouth again, pumping my fingers in and out slowly, letting him get used to the feel of it. I slipped in another finger as I heard him moan, "Fuck..." I paused briefly, making sure he was alright before moving my fingers again. I kissed him on either thigh as I added a third finger, stretching him further. He was grasping the sheets as he called to me breathily, "Please, Edward....I need you inside me."_

_I pulled my fingers out gently, reaching for the condom wrapper next to me, but Jasper beat me to it, his crooked smirk in place as he opened it with his teeth. I'm sure my own grin matched his as he rolled the condom over my length, coating it with lube and tossing the bottle to the bedside table. I heard it fall to the floor, but kept my focus on the man who was about to give me such a precious gift. I settled myself between his legs, pulling his over my thighs._

I leaned forward slightly, the tip of my cock pressing lightly against his entrance. I still couldn't believe this was happening, my heart was hammering in my chest. 

_"I love you, Jazz."_

_He nodded, stroking my cheek as he spoke, "I love you, too, Edward."_

_I heard him gasp as I pressed into him; I continued to move slowly, fighting the urge to just let go and pausing every so often to allow him to get used to the feeling of having me inside of him. Once I was fully sheathed, it took all I had to stay still. I kept watching his expressions closely, making sure he was okay. When I felt him push his hips against me we both moaned and I started to rock back and forth. When he bucked his hips against me, I responded by moving faster. _

_I leaned down, capturing his lips and the change in angle allowed me to go even deeper. _God he feels so good, so good..._He kissed me back, his hands were everywhere and I rejoiced in the knowledge that I was doing this with him. I picked up the pace a little, reaching between us to stroke his cock, wanting him to come with me. I was getting so very close. I pulled back from our kiss, lifting up a little and he came, letting loose a strangled cry, back arching. His muscles clenched around me, pushing me over the brink and I came hard._

_"Oh God, Jasper..."_

_I rested my forehead against his shoulder, just staying still as we tried to catch our breath. I felt him put his arms around me, holding me close. Making love to Jasper had been so intense, and as often as I had imagined it, the real thing had been so much better. I didn't ever want to let him go. I took a deep breath as I lifted up a little so I could look at him. I frowned a little as I noted the tears running down his cheeks, instantly worried I had hurt him. I wiped away his tears and whispered, "Are you alright?"_

_His smile was genuine, as was his assurance he'd never been better. I smiled and kissed him tenderly._

_I whispered, "Thank you, Jasper." _

_I pulled out of him slowly, taking care the condom didn't slip. I got up and walked to the bathroom to get rid of it, and to clean up. I wet a washcloth and took it to Jasper, gently wiping him down. I placed a soft kiss on his lips and went to the bathroom to deposit the cloth. Before going back to the bedroom, I went and turned off the lights in the living room. When I climbed back in bed, I gathered him in my arms, kissing him tenderly. After a little while, he sighed contentedly and looked at me._

_"I feel like I'm the one that should be thanking you, darlin'." _

_We talked for a little while longer before we finally fell asleep. The following morning I woke up to Jasper kissing and nipping at my chest while I moaned softly. I could get used to this very quickly. We spent most of the morning just caressing each other, making out and whispering 'I love you' to each other. I never wanted it to end. _

_Our grumbling stomachs eventually coerced us out of bed though, so we got dressed and made paninis for lunch. Getting the food ready took us a lot longer than it needed to, as neither one of us was able to keep our hands of the other. _

I started when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I'd been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't even noticed anyone come in. When my senses caught up with me, I realized it was Jasper standing in front of me. I reacted without thinking, slipping my arms around his waist and resting my forehead against his stomach. I felt him stiffen for a brief moment, and I silently cursed myself for slipping up. As I started to pull away though, he stopped me by placing his hand on the back of my head, holding me in place for a moment. I sighed in relief and hugged him as I muttered against his stomach, "Thanks, baby."

He started kneeling down in front of me, so I let him go. He took my hands in both of his, a sad smile on his lips. I'm not sure what he saw on my face, but something flickered in his eyes as I looked at him. He sighed and shook his head a little, "I'm sorry, darlin'. I'm not making things easy on you, am I?"

I squeezed his hands, looking down at them with a frown, "Jazz . . ." I raised my eyes to meet his, giving him a small smile, "I'm not going to say that everything's entirely perfect and nothing's bothering me. You and I both know that's not exactly the case. I understand though, and I'm trying to respect your wish not to have any public displays of affection. I'm sorry I did that just now, I wasn't thinking."

I looked around us and saw the kids walking into the hall. I got up, squeezed his hands once more before letting go and said, "Can we talk about this after class and training? I'm alright, I promise."

He looked at me for a moment, seeming to think things over before nodding. The look in his eyes bothered me, he looked like he was hurting, worried, and I knew that that was my fault. _Please don't be upset, Jazz. Great job, Cullen, way to fuck things up just as things are going right. Please be okay, baby. _I placed my hand on his shoulder, and whispered, "I love you, Jazz."

He smiled his crooked smile at me and whispered back, "I love you, too. Go, Edward, teach class, we'll talk later." He tilted his head to the pool as he turned and patted my shoulder briefly. I took a deep breath and nodded before walking to the side of the pool. _Focus, Cullen, get through the next couple of hours, then you can deal with things. _

The kids were all lined up at the side, waiting rather impatiently and fidgeting. They wanted to get in the water, and I couldn't really blame them, I wanted to swim out some of the frustration I was feeling as well. I stood in front of them, gave a short, sharp blow on my whistle to get their attention and proceeded to explain what the event was about. Some of the kids had been in the club long enough to know about it already, but there were one or two who had not taken part in it before, so it was necessary.

After being told they'd be given sponsorship forms as well as parental permission slips to take home after class, they were assigned to lanes. Since there were nine kids, and five lanes, they were put two to a lane. James, who tended to be more physical and territorial, was put in his own lane. I did not want any trouble with him, especially not today. I didn't think I'd be able to deal with it very well. To make things a little more exciting for them today, I had made sure to have a prize for the top three swimmers, as well as consolation prizes for the rest, which they could pick up in the cafeteria. I figured that ice cream was enough of an incentive and given the exuberance with which they set themselves to the task, they seemed to agree.

Along with me, Jasper and the helpers stood on either end of the pool, watching each lane and keeping track of each swimmer. Time went by more quickly than I had expected, which I suppose was a good thing. I blew the whistle and had all the kids come to the side of the pool, while we quickly compared notes and figured out who had won. James surprised us by having completed the most laps. Apparently as long as he had no distractions, he was an excellent swimmer. I gave the list to Jasper, asking him to announce who'd come in second and third, and to direct everyone to the cafeteria for their prizes after they'd changed.

"James, come here please?"

He looked up at me with apprehension in his eyes as he walked cautiously up to me. I knelt down in front of him and smiled at him.

"I'm proud of you, James. You did really well and swam the most laps out of everyone."

He looked at me skeptically at first, but as he saw I was serious about my statement, his eyes widened and the smile that came over him all but split his face in two.

"Really?"

"Yes, James, really. If you can keep it up, you might want to consider joining the swim team at some point. It might be good for you to have focus."

He grinned crookedly at me, and I couldn't help but chuckle softly as he nodded. I patted him on the shoulder and tilted my head to the locker room. "Off you go, you've got an ice cream waiting in the cafeteria with your name on it. You've earned it."

As James made his way to the locker room, I stood back up and turned around to find Jasper standing behind me with a bemused and oddly proud look on his face. "What?"

"Nothing. That was a nice thing you just did, is all. I don't think he's ever been told by anyone that they were proud of him."

I gave him a half-smile, rubbing the back of my neck as I answered, "Yeah, I got that feeling as well, and he honestly was good today."

He watched me for a moment, the way he was smiling at me, the tenderness I saw reflected in his eyes, did nothing for my need to touch him. I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment to collect myself. My eyes snapped open when I felt his hand on my chest, and his breath fanning over my cheek. I was almost afraid to move as he spoke, "You're a good man, Edward Cullen."

He kissed my cheek softly before walking to the locker room to change for training. I just stood there, heart hammering in my chest. _What just happened?_ I turned around, taking in my surroundings. There weren't very many people in yet. Alice, Bella and Angela were already in the hall and Emmett, Tyler and Felix were just walking in. Bella stood at the other end of the pool, watching me with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. I just rolled my eyes at her, not sure I even wanted to know what was going through her mind at the moment. As the rest of the team started trickling in, I quickly made for the locker room as well to change and hurry back.

Training went by quickly. After some endurance exercises, I split the team in half to scrimmage. Everyone was focused and we all got a good workout. It also allowed me to fine tune some of our offensive and defensive plays. Before I knew it though, time was up and we had to put everything back. Jasper told the others to leave it to the two of us, which was fine by me. Emmett just gave me a raised eyebrow, but otherwise kept his mouth shut. _Well there's a first. Wonder what's up with that?_ I shook it off and went to gather up the balls we'd used.

As I bent down to grab the net of balls to sling it over my shoulder, I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist from behind and I straightened up. I knew we were alone, but that didn't matter. I couldn't have stopped the smile from coming to my lips if I had tried, so I didn't. Jasper squeezed me briefly before allowing me to turn around in his arms. Taking my cue from him, I placed my hands on his hips, my eyes on his to gauge his reaction, "Jazz?"

He took a slow, deep breath before he said anything, "Can I come over tonight? We should talk."

I frowned but nodded, "Of course, Jazz."

I looked at him, searching his eyes, trying to figure out what he was thinking. He had a knack for taking me by surprise, and today certainly had not been an exception.

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**A/N: **I have received several PMs asking me when I would be updating and if I had abandoned this story. Clearly it has not been abandoned, and I hope you enjoy this update. I thank you for your patience with updates, and I appreciate the concern of those who PMed to see if I was okay. I try very hard to write and not have too long of a wait in between chapters, but I am not always able to write. Health issues have gotten in the way a lot lately, and it sucks big time for you as readers – but please understand that it also sucks for me. It isn't something I can control, and it pains me to not be able to do what I love doing, which is bringing these boys to you. I do keep people posted on the Twilighted and Ravelry threads as much as possible – join us there if you haven't already! If you have any questions, you are welcome to contact me on Twilighted, Ravelry, Twitter, or PMs through ffnet. I just ask that you do so in a considerate manner (and this goes for contacting authors in general) and know that I will respond in kind.

Now, that said, feel free to leave some love for the boys. Reviews really do make my day.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thanks to ForksReverie & JayceStorm for being my beta-fish and for letting me pick your brains. ^_~**

**Also thank you to SorceressCirce for being my writing buddy ^_~**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. These boys own me, heart and soul.**

**  
**So this chapter's a little (okay, a lot) longer than what I've posted thus far for these boys. I hope that will make up for some of the wait-time ^_~. Enjoy!

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JPOV

Though I hated the thought of leaving Edward, especially after our declarations of love and phenomenal love-making, I knew I needed to go home and study. My parents expected me to be responsible and complete my degree, and I expected no less from myself. So once we'd spent an amazing morning cuddling and making out in bed, we'd roused ourselves, made lunch together and then I had asked Edward to drop me off at home.

"Jasper, is that you?"

_Crap! So much for being lucky and slipping into the house unnoticed. _I sighed as I closed the door behind me. Edward had already driven off, and I had hoped to just go straight to my room without talking to anyone. No such luck though, as I found myself in the kitchen where my mom was just closing the fridge door, a bottle of water in hand.

"Yeah, Momma, it's me."

I walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled up at me, her blue-green eyes - so similar to my own - lingering on mine. I shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, before opting to break the stare by ducking into the fridge for my own bottle of water and hoping that by the time I was done, the scrutiny would be over. Apparently, I wasn't that lucky today, as she stood watching me as I straightened up, a curious look on her face. She twisted the cap off her bottle and took a sip before she spoke, tilting her head as she did so, her long blond hair falling over her shoulder.

"So when do we get to meet the lady that's been captivating you, Jasper? You've been spending an awful lot of time away from home."

I fidgeted with the bottle, as I looked anywhere but at her. I had thus far been able to avoid the third degree - with Rosalie's help - and I really didn't want to get into things this afternoon. Ever, really, but I knew that wasn't an option. I wanted to be able to enjoy what had happened a little while longer and have this weekend for some personal reflection. I pinched the bridge of my nose, a habit I'd picked up from Edward, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't be a lie. As I opened my mouth to speak, I was saved by Rose walking into the kitchen.

"Momma, leave Jasper alone. I told you, he'll let us in on his affairs when he's ready to."

I shot her a grateful glance. Never in my life had I been so glad that Rosalie has looked out for me over the years. Our parents tended to defer to her after she became saddled with the responsibility of watching over me. Rosalie gave me a slight nod, which I was sure my mom missed, as she didn't comment.

Rosalie walked up to Momma, slipping an arm around her waist as she spoke, "Jasper's happier than I've ever seen him, Momma. Let that be enough for now, okay?"

Momma sighed, her eyes resting on me. I watched the two of them standing together. She looked like an older version of Rosalie. They had the same build, same hair color - though Momma's hair was starting to gray a little bit - they were within an inch in height when barefoot. The only real difference between them was their eyes. I had Momma's eyes, whereas Rosalie had Daddy's. I twisted the top off my bottle and sipped my water as I watched my mother. I was afraid to say anything at all. I really _wanted_ to tell her how happy I was and that I'd finally found someone to love who loved me in turn. I knew that, given different circumstances, she would be happy to hear my news. I just wasn't sure how she would react to learning that my "someone" was a man. _And what a wonderful and loving man he is! I am confident that Momma would love Edward if she met him as my "friend" but as my "boyfriend"...I'm not so sure. _Homosexuality wasn't a topic we had ever discussed. The only reaction I was fairly certain of was Daddy's, and Momma tended to follow his lead.

Momma squinted her eyes at me, and I was sure she was looking for something; whether or not she found it, I had no idea. Her voice was soft as she asked me, "Jasper, _are_ you happy, dear?"

I felt the smile spread across my lips as I thought of Edward, my cheeks warming from a faint blush before saying, "Yes, Momma, I am."

She watched me for a moment before her face became stern, every bit of her exuding that air only a parent can convey.

"You _are_ being safe, young man." It was not a question.

Rosalie's lips twitched, and her eyes were gleaming wickedly as she asked, "Yes, Jasper... you _are_ being safe, right?"

I felt my face heat up, and I was sure I was red as a beet, my eyes wide as they flicked from my mother to Rosalie. _Why was I glad to have her here again? Shit! _I looked down at my hands, wishing the floor would just open up beneath me. My answer came out as part mumble, part groan. "Yes, I'm being safe . . . " I added, under my breath, "For fuck's sake..."

Momma nodded and stepped up to me, placing her hand on my cheek, "Alright. Just don't wait too long, dear. I'd like to meet the one that seems to have won your heart."

With that, she gave me a kiss on my cheek before sighing softly and walking out to the living room. I watched her leave, frowning slightly as I reflected on what just happened. Rose walked up to me and fluffed my hair, pushing it out of my eyes. I looked at her, scowling slightly, my voice low, "Thanks for stepping in, Sis, though that last bit wasn't necessary, was it? Did you _have_ to go there?"

She grinned, raising an eyebrow in challenge as she spoke, "Jazzie, you have bigger things to worry about than me teasing you about safe sex." She grabbed my hand and headed towards my bedroom, dragging me along behind her. I didn't put up much of a fight, as I knew we needed to talk. So much for keeping this weekend to myself for private introspection. I sighed and shook my head as I closed the door behind me.

Rosalie settled herself on my bed, sitting cross-legged at one end. I put my bottle of water on the nightstand before taking a seat against my headboard, mirroring her posture. We sat silently for a couple of minutes as she watched me, undoubtedly trying to determine how things had gone. When I couldn't stand the silence anymore, I let out a slow breath before speaking.

"It went great. His parents are some of the sweetest people I've ever met, Rose, and they welcomed me with open arms."

I leaned back against the headboard, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I rested my forehead on my knees, parting them slightly so I could still speak. Suddenly I felt overwhelmed, first remembering my nerves before meeting Edward's parents, then our dinner and conversation, playing music together and Edward's singing, all the way through our return to his apartment – I told Rosalie everything. My voice was shaky, at best. She just sat quietly, letting me get everything out, as she usually did. Her only reaction was when she moved to my side and rubbed soothing circles on my back.

When I got to the point of my teasing Edward, I hesitated, blushing fiercely. That was not a topic I felt comfortable discussing with her, no matter how open she was about my being gay. _I wouldn't tell her the details if it was a woman, so why would I share anything more specific because it is a man? _

Of course, Rose being Rose, easily put two and two together and said, "Jazzie, you popped your man-cherry! Congrats!"

My head snapped up at her words, my eyes wide and my mouth agape as I looked at her in shock. "Rose!"

She crossed her arms over her chest, a Cheshire cat grin on her face as she cocked a brow and looked me dead in the eye, "What? Am I wrong? Was he any good?"

I groaned as I covered my face with my hands, muttering, "I can't believe you, Rosalie. This is _so_ not something I want to talk about." I lowered my hands and glowered at her, "What Edward and I do is between us and none of your business. You don't find me making lewd comments about your sex life, do you?"

She rolled her eyes and held up her hands in defeat. "Alright, alright! Sorry."

She nudged me lightly in the ribs, and I rolled my eyes with a sigh before hugging her to me. She hugged back and kept an arm around my shoulders as she looked at me. "Okay, so you had a great weekend. I'm happy for you, brother mine. Truly."

She kissed my cheek and then sat back against the headboard, stretching her legs out in front of her and folding her hands in her lap. She kept her eyes on me as I settled back as well, my posture again mimicking hers. She sighed softly and reached her hand over to take one of mine, intertwining our fingers as she spoke. "Jazz, when _are_ you going to tell Momma and Daddy?"

I lowered my gaze to our entwined hands, frowning as I thought things through. I hated being in this situation. I hated putting Rosalie in a position of having to be dishonest, if not outright lie, in order to keep our parents from knowing. And most of all, I hated not being able to just be me – and being me very much included Edward. I thought about Esme and Carlisle and how welcoming they had been. I wished with all my heart Edward could have a similar experience with my parents, but I feared the opposite would be true.

I sighed and looked up at her. "I don't know, Rosie. I want to tell them, especially after this weekend. I've never been happier, and it felt so damn good to let it show. I know he felt it, too. You should've seen him, Rosalie, when we were at his parents' house. He was so relaxed, happy, and I loved how that felt. And then when we got home..." I let my voice trail off, unwilling to go further into that. "Coming here after all that, it's like having to bottle it all up and tuck it away. I don't think I can keep doing that, Rose. I _know_ I won't be able to and more importantly, I don't want to hide my happiness from them."

She squeezed my hand, and I gave her a sad smile. "But I'm scared, Rose. I know what I want; I don't have any doubts there. I know you'll be there for me; I don't doubt that, either." I raised our hands to my lips and pressed the back of her hand to them briefly, before lowering them again. "I wish I could give Edward the same experience as he gave me, but Momma and Daddy..." I paused briefly, shaking my head as I whispered, "they're going to hate me. Daddy is, anyway..."

"Jazz...you owe it to yourself and to Edward to tell them. If you don't, if you keep avoiding this conversation, it's going to eat away at you. Eventually, it will get to the point where one or both of you will resent the situation and each other. That's not healthy. You love him, and I'm assuming you've told him. Has he told you he loves you, too?"

I nodded, blushing a little at the memory. "Yeah, he did."

"Then you need to come clean - and sooner, rather then later. I know this isn't easy for you, and once they know, I'm sure it'll get messy for a while. But we're family. I don't know what will happen; I can't tell the future. But I can have faith in our family, Jazz. Eventually, I'm certain things will even out again once they have time to come to terms with any initial reactions. You're their son, their baby boy."

She ruffled my hair affectionately and grinned. I chuckled softly and batted her hand away playfully. I let go of the hand still in mine and sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose; "Seriously though, Rose. How on earth am I going to do this? I can't very well go up to them and say 'Hey, guess what, I'm gay now.'"

She laughed and shook her head. "No, that would _not_ go over very well. I don't know, Jazz. I will be there when you do tell them, though; I can promise you that. I think this might be something you need to discuss with Edward. He's been through this before; he might be able to help you figure that out. Just do it soon, okay? I don't want to see this cloud looming over your head. You deserve to be happy, Jasper."

"Thanks, Sis."

She leaned in and hugged me tight, whispering in my ear, "I love you, Jasper. Remember that, okay?"

I hugged her back, smiling softly. "I will. I love you too, Sis. Thanks."

I kissed her cheek before letting her go, and as she got up off the bed she said, "Talk to him?"

I nodded as I looked up at her; "I will, I promise."

She gave me a very mischievous grin as she placed her hand on the doorknob; "Oh, and for the record? Emmett's great in bed. If you want any pointers, I'd be happy to tell you what some of his best moves are..."

She winked and shrieked as she ducked out the door to avoid the pillow I flung at her as I yelled, "Rosalie Hale!! T.M.I. – I so do NOT want to know that!"

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When I woke up Monday morning, I was already frustrated as I'd slept through my alarm clock. When I sat down to work, I had a hard time concentrating. This didn't really come as a huge surprise, but it annoyed me all the same. It was taking me far longer than it should to get through my assignments, which meant that I couldn't afford to take the time to visit with Edward. I _had_ to finish them come hell or high water, and I had warned him that I would need to buckle down until they were completed. I went as far as not logging onto my IM, so I wouldn't be tempted to chat with Edward. God knows I wanted to. I was hoping though, that spending time together at the club would be enough until I caught up with my schoolwork.

Of course my mind was continually replaying the events of the weekend, and the next time I arrived at the club, I realized that I had a new problem. What I _wanted_ to do as soon as I saw Edward was to go to him, wrap my arms around him, and kiss him senseless. What I ended up doing was struggling to keep my distance, because I knew that I would not be able to control myself once I touched him, however innocently.

Edward appeared equally frustrated and pained by the dilemma. After class and training were finally over, while we were putting away the gear, I knew we were alone so I pushed him into the storage closet. _Oh, the irony of being in the closet! _I pulled his face to me, kissing him feverishly as I pressed my body into him. His arms went around my waist as he kissed me back. After a minute or so I pulled away, knowing someone might come by and find us. I rested my forehead against his and sighed, "I've been wanting to do that for the last couple of hours. I missed you."

He gave me a peck on the lips before letting go of me with a soft sigh. "I know what you mean. I missed you, too. Did you finish your assignments?"

I shook my head. "No. I keep getting distracted by memories." I quirked a brow and smirked.

He groaned softly, looking up at the ceiling briefly before returning his gaze to me. "I wish you could come over." He sighed softly as he kissed my forehead. "You'd better hit the showers; I'll wait until you're done."

I went through the motions of showering and getting changed, and then waited for him to get done. I knew I needed to talk to him, though in all honesty, I wasn't quite sure what to say. I sat out in the hallway, lost in thought. When I noticed someone standing in front of me, I looked up and smiled as I saw Edward, dressed in faded blue jeans, a blue-gray t-shirt, and white tennis shoes.

"Hey," I said.

He chuckled as he held out his hand. "Hey, yourself."

I grabbed his hand so he could help me up, but he pulled a little harder than I was ready for, and I ended up standing flush against him. His eyes flashed briefly before he stepped back, and all I wanted to do was close the distance again, but I was rooted to the spot. I groaned and shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts._ Fuck, I'm going crazy here. How am I supposed to talk to him about this? _I looked at him, noticing that his eyes had stayed on me, a worried look on his face.

The hallway was deserted, so I stepped forward, grabbing his hand in mine and squeezing it lightly.

"Sorry about that, darlin'. I just..." I sighed. "I've just got a lot on my mind." I lowered my voice a little before continuing, my thumb tracing circles on the back of his hand as I spoke. "I would love nothing more than to be with you tonight. I just can't; if I don't turn in these assignments on time..."

He leaned back against the wall as he nodded, squeezing my hand in turn. He looked resigned but smiled softly at me. "It's okay, Jazz. Just hurry and get them done so we can spend some time together."

After promising him I would do my best to be done by the next training session, we each went our separate ways.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tuesday I barricaded myself in my bedroom, even going so far as to put up a 'Do Not Disturb' note on my door. I only ventured out to grab something to eat or drink or use the bathroom. The IM stayed off - again - and I actually managed to finish one assignment and make decent headway on completing a second.

The only interruption to my day was a phone call from Esme. She invited me to have lunch the next day. I smiled as I thought about how she and Carlisle had welcomed me and told her I would very much like to meet her again. She gave me the address of a little bistro she liked, and we agreed to meet there at noon. It felt so good that Esme truly seemed to want to be a part of my life. That thought simultaneously made me happy and sad – a stark reminder of the situation with my parents and what I felt I could expect from them.

At the end of the day, I was happy to have accomplished so much, but I was also frustrated that I'd not talked to Edward all day. So I ended up sending him a quick text message before going to bed, telling him I loved him, and I missed him. I was asleep before I got his text telling me he loved and missed me, too.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Wednesday morning I focused on the last assignment, determined to finish it before my lunch with Esme. When eleven o'clock rolled around, I had finalized my edits and emailed each assignment to the respective professor with a sigh of relief. I glanced at my inbox to see if there were any messages that needed my attention. Not finding anything, I decided to try and get ahead on my next assignment, so that I'd have more free time the rest of the week – free to spend with Edward!

The alarm on my phone went off, slightly startling me out of my homework coma. After losing track of time once too often, I'd made it a habit to set it. I closed my books and stretched, muttering, "Thank God. I've had enough for one day!"

Esme had told me the bistro was a casual place, so I didn't change out of my faded blue jeans and white button-down shirt. I'd rolled my sleeves up earlier because I was warm, and the top two buttons were undone. I looked in the mirror briefly, taking a deep breath and nodding. _Lunch with Esme. I can do this. _I ran my fingers through my hair, wondering why I was starting to feel nervous. I'd met and liked her. I put on my boots and had to hurry to make it to lunch on time.

When I got to the bistro, Esme was already waiting. I was relieved to see that she was also wearing blue jeans and a button-down blouse, hers a forest green. _At least I'm not underdressed. Good lord, I am sounding more like a teenaged girl every day!_ I mentally rolled my eyes at the thought. I started to apologize for keeping her waiting, but she waved me off with a smile as she got up and hugged me.

"Don't worry about it, Jasper. You're not late; I just finished a little earlier than anticipated and decided to go ahead and relax here for a bit. It's good to see you again, dear."

I hugged her back with a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Esme. It's good to see you again, too. And thank you for dinner the other night. It was nice to meet you and Carlisle."

As we sat down, she handed me a menu and smiled softly at me. Her eyes lingered on my face, as if she were searching for something. "Are you alright, dear? You look a bit tired."

I smiled and nodded. "Yes, ma'am, I'm fine. I've just been working hard on some assignments that are due this week." I hadn't intended it, but even I could hear the thickening of the drawl in my voice. I cleared my throat self-consciously. "I actually just completed them before heading here." I added quickly, noticing the look of concern that started to form on her face.

"Well I'm certainly glad to hear that, dear. So, aside from schoolwork, did you and Edward have a nice weekend?"

I blushed slightly, clearing my throat again. "Yes, ma'am. Though aside from class and training, I've not seen Edward since the weekend."

I couldn't help the frown as I said that. I looked down at my hands, which were folded on top of the table. Just then a waitress came by to take our order. Esme got a chicken panini and ice water; I ordered a steak sandwich and iced tea. After the waitress left, I looked up at Esme again, only to find her watching me closely. Her expression was kind and motherly, and I relaxed a little, smiling at her.

She leaned forward slightly, her eyes intent on mine as she spoke, as if she was worried about how I'd react. "Jasper, can we be frank with each other?"

She smiled reassuringly, and I nodded before responding, "Of course, Esme."

"Good. I asked you to lunch because I'm worried about you. I assume Edward's told you he explained to me what transpired between you back at camp?" She must have noticed the panic that threatened to build in me, as she quickly added, "No details, dear, just the general gist of things."

I nodded quietly. Edward had told me he'd talked to her, but I still couldn't help the guilt that I felt over my actions back then. She must have read as much on my face, and she put her hand over mine. "Jasper, he doesn't blame you for making the choice you did back then. Neither do I. You were sixteen, and you were dealing with something that is hard for an adult, let alone a teenager, to fully understand and accept. Please, don't feel bad for making the choices you did. It's in the past, and it needs to stay that way, or it'll hurt you in the present. Don't let it, okay?"

I tried to smile as I nodded, though I'm not sure it was convincing. She patted my hand though and smiled back at me. "As I said, dear, I'm worried about you. I know this has been a lot for you to deal with, especially without much support from home. Though I understand your sister knows what's going on and is on your team, as it were, is that correct?"

"Yeah, she knows. She's been great, actually." I looked down at my hands again, our waitress choosing that moment to come with our drinks, letting us know our food would arrive shortly. I saw Esme nod to her, and she left. Esme watched me in silence for a moment.

Her voice was quiet as she spoke, "But you haven't told your parents yet, have you?"

I shook my head, and her hand came to rest back on mine. I looked up at her, my heart feeling heavy. I hadn't thought that this would be our topic of conversation when I agreed to have lunch with her, and I wasn't entirely certain how I felt about it. I decided to just go with it. Rose had said I needed to talk to Edward, but maybe Esme could also help me understand how I should approach the subject with my parents. After all, she'd been on the receiving end of such a conversation herself. "No, ma'am, I haven't. To be honest, I'm not sure how to bring it up."

She chuckled and nodded. "It's not exactly a topic for dinner time conversation, is it?"

I grinned. "No, ma'am, it's not."

"Have you spoken to Edward about this yet?"

I shook my head and sighed. "No, not yet. I know I should, and I will. I've just not been ready to deal with any of that yet. But after this weekend..." I let my voice trail off and sighed again.

She squeezed my hand and nodded. "I figured as much, which was part of the reason why I asked you to meet with me."

I looked up at her, puzzled.

She continued, her hand still on mine as she looked into my eyes, "I wanted to tell you a few things. Some, I'm sure you already know. Some, maybe not." She smiled softly at me. "Jasper, since you and Edward have gotten back in touch, I've seen a change in him that I could not be happier about. Edward has always been affectionate. As a little boy, he loved to curl up in my lap and cuddle, and he still hugs and kisses his father and holds my hand. It's simply a part of who he is. Ever since Alec, he's been more reserved, and he hasn't really been involved with anyone. He has been as kind and friendly as ever, but he has been holding part of himself back."

She paused a moment as our food arrived. We thanked the waitress and waited for her to leave again before continuing the conversation.

"When you came back into his life, Carlisle and I watched him become more like his old self again. He smiled more, and he's been in better spirits than he had been in a long time. We both knew that he found love again, just by how he looked every time he saw you, spoke to you, or even messaged you. Thank you for that, Jasper."

I sat back, slightly stunned by her words. I wasn't sure what to say so I just nodded.

Her brow furrowed as she studied me for a moment as if weighing her words. When she finally spoke, her voice was softer, and she squeezed my hand tightly. "I am not trying to tell you what to do, dear, but please remember that my son loves you, and he wants to show you." She looked as though there was something more she wanted to say, but she simply watched me in silence for a moment. Her eyes tightened briefly before she relaxed, squeezing my hand again and smiled.

"Secondly, I want you to know that if ever you need anything, you're welcome to come to us. Carlisle and I love our son, and he loves you so very much. Whether you realize it or not, you're a member of our family now. We will be here for you, just as we're here for Edward.

"Jasper, I don't know how things will go when you tell your parents." She took my hands in both of hers as she leaned across the table, her eyes on mine as she continued. "It can be a very difficult thing for a parent to hear, or understand. When Edward told us, I was relieved in a way. I'd known something was troubling him; part of me had even wondered whether he might be gay. So when he told us, I was happy that he finally had accepted himself fully and was willing to share that part of himself with us."

She paused a moment, letting her words sink in. "For Carlisle, it was a little more difficult to accept. He'd been raised in a very conservative family with the belief that homosexuality was a sin, and he himself felt that men were responsible for continuing the family line. After a short time of reflection, Carlisle realized that it didn't matter what he'd been taught by his family because he was a father who adored his son, and nothing would cause him to turn away from Edward. But even though he had never personally embraced the religious beliefs about homosexuality, I think he felt at first that Edward's being gay meant that the line would end with him. In truth, though, we would not be guaranteed grandchildren if Edward were straight...nor are we automatically denied them just because he is gay. Carlisle loves Edward dearly, and even while he struggled with learning the truth about his son, he never failed to show him love and support."

I nodded, unable to speak. I wondered briefly whether Edward ever knew any of this. Esme squeezed my hands, though, and brought my attention back to her.

"I know that Edward was afraid to tell us for a long time, and I wonder if there was something we could have done differently so that he wouldn't have had that fear. I am not sure that there was. I think it's understandable for children to fear telling their parents something as deeply personal and as potentially charged as their sexual orientation."

I acknowledged my understanding, as she continued. "My point is, Jasper, that he was, is, and always will be our son. A son we love dearly. _You_ are your parents' son. They love you; of that, I'm sure. There's every chance that they might surprise you and be accepting of you and of your relationship with Edward. There is also the possibility that they will allow their own emotions and prejudices to cause them to temporarily lose sight of the simple fact that who you love and how you love does not change the man you are. Obviously, I hope for both you and Edward that your parents have a positive or even neutral response. But Jasper, regardless of how your parents react, you will have family. Can you believe that? Have faith in that?"

I swallowed hard past the lump that had formed in my throat as I listened to her words and nodded. My voice barely made it above a whisper, "Thank you, Esme. You don't know how much that means to me to hear you say that."

She smiled again. "You're welcome, dear. I realize that you're still trying to figure things out, and I know that it can be difficult at times. I just wanted you to know that you have people who support and love you, even if we've only just met."

"Thank you, Esme. I don't quite know what to say."

She patted my hand before gesturing to our food. "That's alright, dear. How about we eat, before our food gets too cold?"

I chuckled and nodded as I tucked into my sandwich. We kept up the conversation as we ate, keeping things light and general as we discussed the house she was currently decorating. She was so animated as she talked about color schemes and crown molding. The sparkle in her green eyes reminded me of the man I loved.

Esme smoothly turned the conversation to me, asking about the classes I was taking and the assignments I'd completed. She kept me talking, filling the pauses in a way that felt comfortable rather than forced, and I found I liked her even more as our meal went on.

Eventually, the waitress returned, asking if we needed anything else. We declined, and Esme settled the bill before I could protest.

"I invited you, Jasper, so lunch is my treat. A mother's prerogative." And with that, she winked, grinning an all-too-familiar grin. _Now I definitely know where Edward gets that_.

She got up, smiling as she beckoned me to do the same. As soon as I was on my feet, her arms were around me in a tight, motherly hug as she murmured softly, "It'll be okay, Jasper. In the end, whatever happens, it'll be worth it as long as you two stick together."

She placed her hand on my cheek, smiling up at me. I smiled back, "Thank you, for everything, Esme. I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I sure am grateful for it."

She grinned Edward's grin again, her eyes taking on that same sparkle of mischief he so often wore, "Oh, don't thank me yet, dear. You know what they say about 'mothers-in-law'." She put air-quotes around that last bit, and I couldn't help but snicker and shake my head.

"Esme, that term, in relation to you, will never have a negative connotation to it." I winked at her, grinning.

She laughed and patted my chest lightly. "Why thank you, Jasper. And thank you for meeting me today. It was nice to get to know you a little better."

I whole-heartedly agreed and nodded. "Thank you for inviting me. It's been... enlightening, to say the least." My lips twitched as I tried - and failed - to suppress a smirk.

We parted ways with a mutual agreement to have lunch again soon, perhaps inviting Edward to join us the next time. When I made it home, I went straight for my room and sat down in the window seat, looking out over the garden. My thoughts went over everything Esme had told me, as well as what Rosalie and I had talked about. _Can I really do this? _I sighed and thought of Edward as I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging them. _If I don't, eventually I'd lose him again. _I closed my eyes, resting my forehead on my knees. _I've got to do this; I owe it to him, to us. I refuse to keep hurting him; he doesn't deserve that. I have to..._

There was a knock on my door, startling me out of my thoughts as I heard Momma call my name. "Jasper? Can I come in?"

"Of course, Momma."

I turned in the seat to face the door, putting my feet back on the ground as she walked in. She smiled as she walked up to me. "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that Daddy called. He needs to attend a meeting down in Houston, so he took some additional time off so we could visit our old stomping grounds. He and I will be leaving tonight and won't be back until Friday of next week. You and Rose'll be on your own for a while, but I trust you'll be alright."

She smiled, knowing full well we would be just fine, and very likely not even be home much. Though she had no idea where I would be spending my time. I rolled my eyes at her, smirking. "Yes, Momma, you know we will. You and Daddy enjoy your time in Houston."

I got up and hugged her. "Do you need help with anything before you leave? How are you getting to the airport?"

She hugged back. "Don't worry about that, dear. Your daddy's got it all under control; you know how he is."

I chuckled and nodded. "Indeed I do. Thanks for letting me know, Momma."

My alarm went off on my phone again, and I quickly kissed her on the cheek. "Will you still be here when I'm done with training?"

She shook her head. "No, we'll be gone before then, I think. You have a good time, alright? And behave yourselves, for goodness sake."

I nodded and frowned, thinking over the past few days.

"Momma? Do you think maybe we can sit down and talk when you get home? All of us? I..." I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts as well as the gumption to go through with this. I continued quietly, "There's something I need to talk about with you and Daddy, and there is someone I would like you to meet, if that's okay?"

She looked thoughtfully at me for a moment, her eyes searching mine, and for a fleeting moment I wondered if Esme had a point, if Momma knew, on some level at least. She nodded, placing her hand on my shoulder, "Alright, why don't we all have lunch on the Sunday after we come back? Does that sound okay to you?"

I placed my hand over hers, giving her a small smile. "That sounds fine, Momma. Thank you. I have to go!"

Hurrying to grab my things, I got to the swimming hall with a few minutes to spare before class started. I quickly showered and changed before walking into the swimming hall. I looked around for Edward and found him sitting on a bleacher in the stands, apparently absorbed in his thoughts. _Wonder what's going through his mind. _I walked up to him, coming to stand in front of him. I watched him closely, frowning as he didn't seem aware of my presence. _Something's bothering him if he's this lost in thought._

He finally noticed I was there, seemingly shocked to find anyone near. Next thing I knew, he had his arms around my waist and his head resting against my stomach. Automatically, it seemed, my body tensed, and I scolded myself for not being able to control the reaction. I knew he had felt it, too, as he started to pull away. I put my hand on the back of his head, holding him to me, silently letting him know it was okay, that I was okay.

Whatever had been on his mind, it seemed he needed this contact, and I wasn't going to deny him. Not anymore. I knelt down in front of him, taking his hands in mine as I smiled sadly at him. I watched him for a moment before shaking my head with a sigh. "I'm sorry, darlin'. I'm not making things easy on you, am I?"

He squeezed my hands as he lowered his eyes to them, frowning slightly. "Jazz..." He raised his eyes to mine and gave me a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm not going to say that everything's entirely perfect and nothing's bothering me. You and I both know that's not exactly the case. I understand, though, and I'm trying to respect your wish not to have any public displays of affection. I'm sorry I did that just now, I wasn't thinking."

His eyes left mine and roamed the swimming hall briefly before getting to his feet, squeezing my hands again and letting them go. "Can we talk about this after class and training? I'm alright, I promise."

I looked in his eyes, and I swore I could see the anguish there. _I can't keep doing this to him. _He put his hand on my shoulder and whispered, "I love you, Jazz."

I grinned at him as I whispered back, "I love you, too. Go, Edward, teach class, we'll talk later." _God knows, we need to; so much I have to tell him about, have to ask him._

Tilting my head to the pool, I turned around, patting him on the shoulder. I watched as he took a deep breath as if to gather himself, nodding before walking to the side of the pool to start class. The kids were all lined up, and though I walked to one of the lanes, I didn't pay much attention to Edward's instructions to the kids. I watched him instead; he seemed more distracted than usual. This only made me more determined to do right by him. I sighed softly as he wrapped things up and instructed the kids to start swimming. My attention returned to focus on the two kids that were in the lane I was supervising.

Before too long, I heard the whistle blow, and after making sure all the kids were out of the water safely, I walked over to Edward and the other helpers to tally the results. Edward handed me the list with winners, and after asking if I'd announce second and third place, he took James aside. Once I had called the winners and made sure everyone knew to go to the cafeteria to pick up their ice cream, I went to stand behind Edward. I waited for him to be done, listening quietly as he spoke with James.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling at him as he sent James on his way - the boy looked very pleased with himself. I was certain he'd never been told by anyone that they were proud of anything he'd done, and I felt my own sense of pride at Edward having recognized that as well, and for telling James that. Edward looked at me with mild surprise.

"What?"

"Nothing. That was a nice thing you just did, is all. I don't think he's ever been told by anyone that they were proud of him."

He smiled at me as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, I got that feeling as well, and he honestly was good today."

I stood and watched him for a moment, smiling at him. _Esme was right; he truly is a caring, giving person. He is so good with these kids._ I sighed softly as he closed his eyes, wanting to just go up and kiss him, show him I love him. I glanced around the swimming hall and noted all the kids had gone, and there were only a few people from the team there, Bella included. I was fairly sure they all knew anyway, so I took a deep breath and decided to take this step. I had to, for myself as well as for him.

I stepped up to him and placed my hand over his heart, his eyes snapping open as I leaned in and said, "You're a good man, Edward Cullen," and kissed his cheek.

I quickly walked to the locker room to change, and in no small part to try and collect myself again, as I was blushing. By the time Edward came in to the locker room, I had calmed down, and I smiled at him as I passed him on my way into the hall. As soon as he had changed, we started training. He had us split the team so we could scrimmage. It felt good to be able to focus on training, and it helped to clear my thoughts for a while.

It was only after training was done that I let myself think about the things that I needed to discuss with Edward. Emmett and some of the others were starting to help with clean up, but I told them to just leave it to Edward and me, giving us some privacy to talk. Emmett nodded, and from the look on his face, I had the distinct impression he knew - in general terms at least - what was going on. _Rosalie!_ I shook my head with a sigh; I'd have to deal with her later. Then again, I couldn't really begrudge her talking to Emmett, since she didn't really have anyone to talk to about any of this, either.

After everyone had left, we set about getting everything put away. I watched Edward bend down to grab the net of balls, and stepped behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. I just couldn't help myself in that moment. He straightened up, and I squeezed him briefly before letting him turn around. I didn't let go of him though, and he smiled at me as he put his hands on my hips, his eyes on mine. I could tell he was trying to see how I'd react, and it made me realize again just how much I was putting on him by all of this.

"Jazz?"

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly to give myself time to gather my nerve. I needed to do this. "Can I come over tonight? We should talk."

I saw him frown as he nodded, his eyes searching mine for answers, "Of course, Jazz."

I smiled at him before placing a chaste kiss on his lips and letting him go. I just wanted to get this done and over with so we could go home and talk. I had a feeling it was going to be a long night. As we finished putting the equipment away, getting showered and dressed, I could tell that Edward was distracted. If I knew him at all, he was likely worrying about what I wanted to talk to him about. I waited until we were in his car though, before saying anything.

He started the car and was about to put his seat belt on when I placed my hand on his cheek, causing him to turn around and look at me questioningly. As soon as he was facing me, I smiled and put both my hands on either side of his face before leaning in and kissing him, tilting my head to deepen it. I felt him respond, hesitantly at first, but before long he had his hand on the back of my neck, his fingers knotting in my hair. I moaned softly before pulling away with a soft sigh.

"As much as I'm enjoying this, I think we should get going. How about we pick up some Thai or Chinese on the way home, darlin'? I don't think either of us are going to feel much like cooking tonight."

Edward's eyes flickered briefly, several emotions crossing his face so quickly, I couldn't catch them all. His brow furrowed slightly as he nodded.

"Okay, we can do that. Jazz...is everything okay?"

I still had my hands on his cheeks, so I leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips before dropping my hands, smiling.

"Yeah, it's just been an interesting couple of days. Don't worry, darlin', I'm fine, I promise."

I buckled up and waited for him to do the same. I watched him as he gave me another searching look before pulling out of the parking lot. We stopped by a small Thai place close to his apartment, and we got some chicken satay, pad thai, and salad to go. I had him stop by a convenience store on the way as well, grabbing a cold six pack of Black Butte Porter. I figured it couldn't hurt to have it, since I was starting to feel nervous again. _Damn it, this has got to stop! _I knew there was no reason to be nervous, at least not when it came to talking to Edward about meeting my parents. I was certain he'd say yes and go with me. _But still..._

When we got home, we both put our bags by the door and toed out of our shoes. Edward went to grab plates and utensils, setting them down on the coffee table and dishing up our food, while I grabbed two of the beers and put the others in the fridge. We settled on the couch, each on the opposite end, with our legs curled up, facing the other. I grinned when I noticed our mirrored positions and quickly crawled over to him, kissing him lightly on the lips before whispering, "I love you."

I settled myself back in the corner of the couch, the same way I was before, grabbing my plate and fork as I did so. I looked over at Edward to see him smile at me with a quirked eyebrow; he sounded somewhat amused as he replied, "I love you too, Jasper."

I chuckled softly, took a bite, and sighed happily, closing my eyes a moment. This was nice. The moment we got through the door, I had felt a sense of peace come over me, and I took a moment to let that sensation sink in. When I opened my eyes, I saw Edward still hadn't touched his food, his eyes intent on me. He looked thoughtful, and I wondered what was going through his mind, "What?" I asked, as I took another bite.

He just smiled and shook his head, grabbing his own plate finally and digging in. I shrugged and took a swig of my beer. We ate in silence, occasionally stealing glances at each other. When I was done, I put my plate down and watched as he finished eating, playfully nudging his leg with my foot. He grumbled slightly about not letting him eat in peace, but the twitch at the corner of his mouth assured me he was anything but annoyed.

Finally done, we quickly put away the leftovers, did the dishes, and grabbed another beer each before going back to sit on the couch. Edward took his spot again, but this time I sat right next to him, one leg pulled under me so I could face him. I glanced down at my beer and fidgeted slightly, not sure how to start. I heard Edward open his beer and looked up when he spoke.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

He took a swig. I could see he was curious and maybe a little hesitant, worried about what I might say. I went over the last few days, wondering where to begin. I took a deep breath and gave him a tentative smile.

"I had lunch with your mom today. She loves you very much." He smiled and nodded, waiting for me to continue. I sighed softly. "She..." I paused, trying to find the words to what I wanted to say. "She helped me put a few things in perspective today."

I took the bottle of beer from him and put both our drinks on the table before grabbing his hands in mine, rubbing circles on the backs of his hands as I tried to order my thoughts. Edward remained quiet, sensing I needed to do this on my own time. He always seemed to know when to just let me figure things out for myself - it was just one of the many things I loved about him, and I couldn't help but smile at the thought. His answering smile and gentle squeeze of my hands were all the encouragement I needed.

"I know I've made things more difficult for you, Edward, and for that I am truly sorry. I feel like I keep hurting you, and I don't mean to."

He frowned and opened his mouth to speak, but I squeezed his hands to stop him.

"Please, let me finish? It's not right that you should have to, for all intents and purposes, put yourself back in the closet, darlin'. It isn't, and I'm sorry that I ever put you in that position."

I lifted his hands to my lips, kissing the backs of each of them before placing them between us again and continuing, "It's time I stopped hiding, Edward. This past weekend, the last few days... meeting your parents, making love with you - it was amazing, all of it, and I have never felt as free and loved as I did last weekend. I have you to thank for that." I paused and watched as he smiled softly, nodding. I noticed his eyes were shimmering with emotion.

"Being with you, feeling all that, and then having to go back to my parents' place, it felt like I had to bottle everything up and put away all the joy I was feeling."

My brow furrowed, and I looked down at our joined hands as I continued speaking, "I didn't care for it. And then Momma was there when I got in, and she started asking questions." I shook my head, looking up into his eyes. "I wanted to tell her, Edward. I wanted to say I'd found you, and that you love me. But I didn't do it, and it hurt to not speak the words I wanted to say, but I was scared. I suppose I still am, but..."

I took a deep breath as I trudged on, glad that he was just letting me get it out without interrupting, "I can't keep doing this to you, or to Rose, or to me. I love you too much, and I am tired of holding that back. Rose says she'll be there when I tell Momma and Daddy. I asked Momma if we could get together and talk. I was hoping..." I searched his eyes, which had seemed to darken with the emotion he was holding in check. My voice lowered slightly, nervous again all of a sudden. "I was hoping you might want to be there, too. Meet my parents?"

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**A/N**  
**So am I forgiven? Jasper, as you can see, had a lot to say this time. **

**Both boys have gotten more chatty, so the chapters are taking longer than normal to write, but I'm working on it, I promise. **

**I'm trying to get a little ahead again as well, so hopefully the breaks in between chapters won't be as long in the future. **

**In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**See you soon!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thanks to ForksReverie & JayceStorm for being my beta-fish and for letting me pick your brains. ^_~**

**Still don't own Twilight. These boys own my heart though.**

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_"Being with you, feeling all that, and then having to go back to my parents' place, it felt like I had to bottle everything up, put it away again," my brow furrowed and I looked down at our joined hands as I continued speaking, "I didn't care for it. And then Momma was there when I got in, and she started asking questions," I shook my head, looking up into his eyes, "I wanted to tell her, Edward, I wanted to say I'd found you, and that you love me. But I didn't do it, it hurt to not speak the words I wanted to say, but I was scared. I suppose I still am, but..."_

_I took a deep breath as I trudged on, glad that he was just letting me get it out without interrupting, "I can't keep doing this to you, or to Rose, or even to myself. I love you too much, and I am tired of holding that back. Rose says she'll be there when I tell Momma and Dad. I asked Momma if we could get together and talk. I was hoping..." I searched his eyes, which had seemed to darken with the emotion he was holding in check. My voice lowered slightly, nervous again all of a sudden, "I was hoping you might want to be there, too. Meet my parents?"_

EPOV

I had to swallow hard a couple of times as I sat listening to Jasper. I couldn't believe my ears. Of everything he could have wanted to talk about, this wasn't what I was expecting. At least, not yet. I hadn't thought he would be ready this soon, since so much had changed for him in a relatively short amount of time. My mouth had gone dry and I had to clear my throat before I could get my voice to work, though I was only able to croak, "When?"

Jasper's eyes flitted between mine, searching, "Sunday after next for lunch. Will you come?"

As if there were any choice. I could never say no to a request from him and certainly not one requesting my support. I would not let him face his parents alone, even if he'd have Rose there. I squeezed his hands and nodded, "Yes, of course I'll be there, Jasper. Are you sure you want to do this?" I had to ask, had to be sure he was certain.

He laced his fingers through mine, lifting our hands up a little as he spoke, "Edward, what I want is _this_, us."

As I looked in his eyes, I could see the truth behind his words, and it sent my heart soaring. I leaned forward, kissing him tenderly before resting my forehead against his, my voice soft as I spoke, "You truly are amazing, you know that?"

I could hear his smile in his voice, "You're not so bad yourself."

I grinned as I sat back against the couch again, putting up one leg along the length of the couch as I pulled Jasper to me. I slipped my hands from his and wrapped my arms around him instead, holding him close as he turned around and settled with his back to my chest. He hugged my arms closer to him and I pressed my lips to his temple, murmuring, "Not so bad, huh?"

I grinned as I looked down at him, he turned his head, scowling slightly, sticking his tongue out in response. I chuckled and quickly dipped my head, sucking his tongue into my mouth, massaging it with my own. He moaned softly into my mouth as I kissed him. He shifted slightly, leaning further into the kiss as he ran his hand up my arm and into my hair, tugging lightly at it. After a few minutes I pulled away, giving him a final peck on his lips. He had his eyes closed, a peaceful look on his face.

I squeezed him to me, loving the feel of him in my arms. I watched him as he sighed contentedly and opened his eyes. I smiled softly at him, "So why Sunday after next?"

I was curious as to the timing. A shit-eating grin spread wide across Jasper's face before he stated, "Well, I'd have done it this weekend, except Momma and Daddy are going to be out of town. Daddy has a meeting or something in Houston, and he's taking Momma with him so they can visit their old stompin' grounds, as she put it. Their flight was scheduled to depart while we were training, and they're not slated to be home again until Friday of next week."

I grinned and quirked an eyebrow, "You don't say."

He nodded as he pulled my face to his again, murmuring against my lips, "Indeed I do."

His lips moved languidly against mine, as I considered the fact he wouldn't need to go home and spend time with them. I pulled away slightly, whispering, "Stay, please?"

He turned around to face me fully, wrapping his arms around my neck as I wrapped mine around his waist again, "I was hoping you'd say that."

I pulled him close, needing to feel him. I scooted down a little, and he moved with me so we were laying on the couch, him flush on top of me. I let my hands roam over his back as I kissed him hungrily. Running my hands down to his ass, I squeezed it firmly as I bucked my hips into his, causing us both to moan. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer still as my hands went back to caressing every part I could reach, our kisses becoming more feverish the longer we kept going.

_I want more, to feel more. To feel him._ I pulled away slightly, breathing hard as I looked at him, his eyes hooded and dark, "Jasper..." I ran my fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, unsure of how he'd react to what I was about to ask him, "make love to me?"

I watched as he stilled in my arms, his eyes on mine as he bit his lip. I cupped his cheek, gently caressing his cheekbone with my thumb, trying to soothe his worries as I whispered hoarsely, "Please, Jasper. I need to feel you, just like you needed me. You won't hurt me, I promise."

He stayed like that for a while, worrying his lower lip before nodding slightly. I slipped my hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer again. I gently sucked on his lower lip, tugging it from between his teeth before kissing him fully. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I moaned softly as our tongues danced together. My left hand traveled to the small of his back, pressing his hips to me as I bucked mine into his. My right hand went to his hair, my fingers knotting in his curls.

I could feel the tension increase in Jasper as we kissed, so I pulled away slightly, resting my forehead against his as I let my fingers begin to trail lazy circles on his back. I looked into his eyes, several emotions flickering across his face. I brushed my lips against his, whispering, "Jazz, it's okay, you don't have to..."

He shook his head and closed his eyes, his voice husky as he spoke, "You have no idea how much I want to..."

He tilted his head and began kissing me again, but his body continued to be taut with tension. I pulled back again, frowning slightly as I watched him, "What is it, Jazz? Tell me?"

He sighed and closed his eyes, resting his forehead on mine again as he whispered, "I'm just..."

As his voice trailed off, I put my hands on either side of his face, coaxing it up so I could see him better. His brow was furrowed in frustration, and I gently ran my thumbs over his forehead to smooth out the worry lines. "Just what, baby?" I asked softly.

He opened his eyes hesitantly as he confessed in a low voice, "I want to make you feel as good as you did me, but darlin', what if I hurt you? I'm not sure what to do . . ."

I pecked him lightly on the lips, smiling softly at him as my thumbs caressed his cheekbones, "Jazz, I promise you, you _won't_ hurt me. I trust you," I kissed him briefly again, before continuing, "You don't have anything to worry about. All I want is to be with you, Jasper, and it'll be good _because_ it's you. As with everything else, we're in this together, right?"

He seemed to consider something for a moment before nodding, and I saw him visibly relax a little. "I love you, Jasper," I whispered.

He smiled before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on my lips, murmuring against them, "I know. I love you, too," his lips resuming their languid movements against mine.

I slipped my arms around his back, pulling him closer so I could deepen the kiss. Jasper's hands wound into my hair, his fingers tangling in it, tugging lightly. I moaned softly into his mouth, my eyes long since closed as I simply let myself enjoy this moment with him. He started to slowly grind his hips into mine, setting a steady rhythm, it felt so fucking good. I could feel both our bodies responding to the friction he was creating and it wasn't long before I wanted more.

_Too many clothes._ I slid my hands to his waistband, running my fingers along it, attempting to get at his belt buckle. I opened my eyes in confusion as I felt Jasper pull away. He shook his head, an almost shy smile playing on his lips. _Too fucking cute. How can he still be shy?_

He put his hand on mine, holding it in place, his eyes intent on mine as he whispered, "I want to do this right, Edward. I want to take care of you, like you did for me."

He paused for a moment, as I tried to figure out what he meant. He kissed me briefly as he laced his fingers through mine, watching me as he spoke again, "Can I take you to our bed?"

Our _bed? _I searched his eyes, wondering if he realized what he'd said. I couldn't help the smile that played my lips as I nodded, not trusting my voice at the moment. He got up from the couch and pulled me up to him, hugging me close as he kissed me soundly. Before I could put my arms around him and really get into things though, he pulled back, grabbed my hand and started to pull me towards the bedroom.

I followed very willingly. He flipped the lights off as he went by the switch, turning to me as he continued to walk backwards to the bed. I couldn't put my finger on what I saw in his eyes, but the playfulness and determination I sensed from him made me smile. He pulled me to the side of the bed, taking my other hand in his as well as he looked into my eyes. He seemed to be mulling over something, and I couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind. I rubbed the backs of his hands with my thumbs while I waited for him.

He smiled at me, gave my hands a squeeze before letting them go and trailing his hands up my arms, he put his hands on either side of my neck, his thumbs resting just below my ears as he leaned in, placing a sweet kiss on my lips.

He gave me a small smile as he pulled back, his hands slowly moving down my chest, undoing the buttons of my shirt one by one. His lips soon followed as he kissed and nipped at the exposed skin. I moaned softly as I watched him, my fingers gently running through his hair as he continued to tease my skin. Once he had unbuttoned my shirt, he swirled his tongue around my bellybutton quickly, making me take in a sharp breath.

He smirked at me as he stood up. His hands slowly roved over my stomach and up to my pecs, his fingers flicking my nipples once before moving to my shoulders as he pushed my shirt from my upper arms. He kept one hand on my shoulder as he stepped behind me, placing a soft kiss on my neck, and murmured in my ear, "I love you. I love touching you, seeing you."

I shivered at his words, moaning softly as I closed my eyes and tilted my head to the side, my voice low and husky, "I love you, too, Jasper." I heard him chuckle softly before he trailed his lips from my neck to where it met my shoulder and grazed the skin with his teeth.

I groaned softly as I felt him slide my shirt all the way off of me, his lips never leaving my back as he gave as much attention to the newly exposed skin there, as he had to the front. It was slow torture to feel his lips as he moved, and I loved it. I gave a soft sigh and let my head fall forward. The tenderness he was showing me was beyond anything I would be able to put into words.

I felt him straighten up behind me as he slipped his arms around to my front, sliding his fingers along the waistline of my slacks to my belt. He rested his hands over it and I felt his breath against my ear before he whispered softly into it, "You'll tell me if I hurt you in any way, right?"

I leaned back into him, my head resting on his shoulder as I put one hand in his hair, placing the other on his hip as I spoke softly, "Together, Jasper."

I tilted my head and captured his lips with mine, moaning into his mouth as I felt one of his hands start to unbuckle my belt, and the other palming my hard on. All too soon, he pulled away, but only to undo my pants, and slip them down my hips, along with my boxer briefs. I stepped out of them quickly and turned around, putting my hands on either side of his face and pulling him to me, my lips crashing to his briefly before murmuring against his lips, "You're wearing far too many clothes, Jasper."

I grinned slightly as I grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged at it, indicating he needed to lift his arms. As soon as he had them in the air, I pulled the shirt over his head and threw it aside. I didn't care what happened to it. I wanted it off, and him naked. Now. He had already unbuckled his belt and was trying to unbutton his fly when I simply pulled hard on either side of it, opening it quickly. I could always get him another pair of pants.

He watched me with a raised eyebrow and a crooked smirk as he put his thumbs in his waistband, and pushed down his pants and boxers at the same time, much like he'd done with me, "A little anxious, are we?"

"Fuck, yes." I breathed, my eyes roaming his naked body before me. As soon as my eyes were level with his, I pulled him closer again, needing to feel his skin against mine. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as his went around my lower back, pushing our hips closer together. We both groaned as our cocks rubbed together. He tilted his head slightly and nuzzled my neck, "Lie down, darlin'."

I pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed. I quickly discarded my socks and saw Jasper do the same. I smirked at him as I pushed myself back up the bed, my eyes never leaving his as he watched my every move. He stood perfectly still, waiting until I was settled in the middle of the bed, my upper body lifted as I rested on my elbows and my legs spread slightly apart. I quirked a brow and said, "Coming?"

He grinned as he grabbed the lube and a condom, putting them next to me on the bed for easy reach. He lowered himself on the bed, crawling over me - moving between my legs - until he was nose to nose with me and whispered, "Not yet, but soon, darlin'."

He ran the back of his fingers over my cock as he spoke, causing it to twitch. He curled his fingers around it, stroking it a few times. I moaned as my eyes rolled back, "Fuck, Jazz..."

I lay back against the bed, cupping his face in my hands as I gazed into his eyes briefly before pulling him to me and kissing him. I needed to taste him almost as much as I needed to feel him. He continued stroking me for a little longer, teasing strokes that were driving all rational thought from my head. I moaned as his lips left mine and began to move south. I moved my hands to his hair, running my fingers through it.

I was torn between wanting to watch his every move, and just closing my eyes and simply enjoying every sensation. His hand trailed up my stomach to my pecs, coming to rest on one nipple and I bit my lip, arching my back, as he began to roll it between his fingers. He lavished attention on the other one with his lips and tongue. _He's going to be the death of me, but fuck... what a way to go!_

He bit down lightly, and I let out a hiss of pleasure, my cock twitching under him. I watched him as he slowly began to move down, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake, my skin aflame from his touch. His hands caressed my sides down to my hips, where he held them. He looked up at me through his lashes before gently sucking along the edge of my left hip bone. Repeating the gesture on my right side, he finally, _finally_, came to where I wanted him the most.

And he stopped. He hovered with his face inches above my aching cock, watching me. I could feel his breath over my cock, but before I could do or say anything, he flicked out his tongue, curling it around the head, teasing the small slit before wrapping his lips around and lowering his face to me. My hands gripped the sheets below me as I felt the warmth of his mouth envelope my cock.

Like I had done with him, he too, was setting a slow and steady rhythm. And while I didn't need a distraction, I relished the feel of his mouth on my dick. I watched as he continued to move up and down my shaft, taking in a little more each time, and I was mesmerized by the sight of it.

After a minute or so, I saw him grab the bottle of lube and flick it open. I moaned at the loss of contact as Jasper let my cock slip from his lips long enough to put the lube on his fingers and warm it up. As soon as he was done, he was right back again though, taking me in his mouth as deep as he could without gagging.

"Oh God, Jasper..." I breathed out.

I could feel his mouth twitch in what I was sure would've been a smirk, if he'd been able to do so. When I felt him tentatively press a finger into me, I bit my lip, trying to keep watching. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as he found my prostate, and I couldn't have stopped the moan from passing my lips if I'd tried. It had been so long, it felt so good, and I wanted this so much from him.

He was pumping his finger in and out at a steady pace, I knew he was watching me closely. I put my fingers in his hair, smiling lazily at him. He added a second finger, and soon a third, continually moving in and out, hitting my prostate more often then not.

I felt like I was on a slow burn and about to go crazy. I needed to feel him in me. "So good, baby... please..."

I bemoaned the sense of loss as he pulled his fingers out and released my cock from his mouth. He leaned forward and kissed me tenderly before looking into my eyes. His voice was husky with want, and barely audible as he whispered against my lips, "I think I'm ready, darlin'. Are you; may I..?"

It hit me then, that he was being as careful as I had been, as if this was _my _first time. He was being so tender, so gentle and caring. I felt my throat tighten with emotion as I nodded and whispered, "Please, Jasper... I need to feel you."

He smiled, placed a soft kiss on my lips and sat up, reaching for the condom. I smirked at him as I snatched it from his fingers, opened the package and rolled the condom on his erection in short order. I grabbed the small bottle of lube, opened it and poured some onto him, making sure he was well slicked. He moaned softly as he watched me rub it on, his eyes darkening slightly.

I tossed the bottle onto the nightstand, where this time it remained, and lay back down onto the bed. He leaned forward slightly as I spread my legs further to grant him better access, the head of his cock pressing against me. I nodded and I felt him slowly push forward. He paused as soon as his head was in, like I had done. I kept my eyes on him, and saw his brow was furrowed in concentration.

When I rolled my hips he very slowly moved forward, pausing every now and then, as I had done, "It's okay, Jazz... feels so good..."

I heard him utter a low, "Fuck..." as he was fully sheathed, and he stayed still. I cupped his cheek and coaxed his face up so I could look in his eyes. I rolled my hips again, and he shuddered slightly, I thought he said something, but I could not make it out. In seconds, it didn't matter anymore, as he started to slowly pull in and out.

It felt so fucking good to feel him move in me, his pace steady as he got used to the sensation of being inside of me. I had dreamed so often of this moment, had wanted it for so long, but those dreams were nothing compared to the reality of having him inside of me. He picked up the pace as I met him thrust for thrust, the look of concentration on his face replaced with one of intense pleasure.

I put my fingers to the back of his neck, pulling him to me and kissing him feverishly. My other hand went down his back, my blunt nails scratching lightly across his skin, causing him to moan into my mouth. I pulled away enough so I could whisper, "More, baby...please... feels so good."

His eyes flashed slightly as he attacked my lips again briefly. He pulled out almost all the way, before pushing back again, a little harder and faster every time. He raised himself up a little to get better leverage and I was getting so close now. I could tell by the look on his face that he was close as well. I heard him muttering under his breath, only catching a few stray words of "fuck...", "can't...", as he continued.

He looked at me, the look of concentration back on his face, "Darlin', I'm so damn close... come for me...please?"

I grabbed my cock and started to stroke myself in rhythm with his thrusts. It only took a few strokes before I came, and I cried out, though what passed my lips, I couldn't tell you. I was beyond reason. Jasper came seconds after me, I could feel him throbbing inside of me, but he kept up his movements, although slower, prolonging both our orgasms.

We were both panting as he finally stilled inside of me, he leaned down and kissed me tenderly. I cupped his cheek and smiled at him. I had not felt this good, this satisfied in a long time, "Thank you. As I said before...you truly are amazing."

He chuckled softly, pressing his lips to mine again briefly before he pulled out, taking care that the condom stayed in place. I moaned softly as he left me, which caused him to chuckle again. He got off the bed and quickly padded to the bathroom to clean up and get a wet washcloth. He came back and tenderly took care of me yet again. When he was done, he went to throw the cloth away and came back, climbed in bed and snuggled up to me.

He put his head on my shoulder, and put one leg over mine. He was quiet for a while, and I just held him close to me. He had just made love to me, and I could honestly say that I couldn't recall anyone ever taking such care with me as he had. Not even my first time had been as tender and loving as Jasper had been.

He glanced up at me and I took a deep breath before answering the unspoken question in his eyes, "I'm alright, baby. A little overwhelmed, but good."

I smiled and kissed his forehead. He watched me for a moment, before a smile lit his face and he spoke softly, "I know how you feel, darlin'."

We just lay together, snuggling, caressing, kissing and talking, until we both drifted off to sleep.

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The alarm went off at 5.30, and I hit it with a little more force then was necessary. I felt Jasper shift against me and mumble, "10 more minutes..." as he snuggled closer to me. I chuckled softly and held him close. _I love waking up with him. I'm so looking forward to the next week._

I dozed off again, and when the alarm blared a second time, I groaned. I turned it off and reluctantly rolled away from Jasper so I could stretch. I ran my fingers through his hair as I leaned over him, whispering in his ear, "Jasper, you need to wake up, baby, if you want to go pick up some of your things before I have to be at work."

He groaned and turned his head, looking at me with a bleary eye, "I'm 'wake."

I chuckled and ruffled his hair, "Sure you are." We'd agreed last night before finally falling asleep that we'd pick up his things before I had to go to work, so he'd be able to get some schoolwork done while I was at work. But that would only happen if he could actually wake up.

I kissed him lightly on the lips before slipping out of bed and heading to the shower. As soon as the water was at the right temperature, I stepped under the stream and a few seconds later I felt Jasper step in behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his forehead between my shoulder blades, letting the water pound on his back.

"Mornin', sunshine," I smirked. He let out a small "Hrmph." before grabbing the shampoo and lathering his hair. This shower had to be quick and efficient, and we both knew it. There'd be time for fun later, now that he'd be staying with me for a few days. _I wish he didn't have to go back at all, but I'm not sure how to bring it up.  
_

After a few minutes, we were both showered, dried and dressed. Jasper still didn't look fully awake though. Then again, we had enjoyed a late and active night. I grinned at him as I put my tie on. His eyes flashed and by the time I'd gotten the knot straightened, he was in front of me and had grabbed my tie, his voice low and gravelly, "I've been wanting to do this for a very long time."

He pulled on my tie, hard, and crashed his lips to mine. My eyes flew wide open, shocked at first at his action, before closing and returning the kiss with equal heat, my hand going to the back of his neck. He pressed forward, sandwiching me in between the wall and him, and I could feel his excitement, as well as my own, growing. I groaned into the kiss, my thumb caressing his neck as I slowly pulled away.

"Jasper, we have to go." My voice was rough with want, and if I had my way, we wouldn't leave the house today, but I _had_ to go to work, and he had school to take care of. It wouldn't do for either of us to ignore our responsibilities.

He nodded and took a step back. He straightened my tie with a soft sigh, "Sorry, I just couldn't resist. Do you know just how fuckin' sexy you are in your work clothes?"

I cocked my eyebrow while caressing his cheek. "I certainly didn't mind. And I am 'fuckin' sexy', huh? "

He grinned, sighed again and nodded, "Uh-huh! But for now, we need to get my stuff, then work for you."

I grabbed my briefcase on the way out the door, made sure Jasper had his keys, and then we set off to his parents' place. He was quiet all the way there, and I wondered what was going through his mind. My thoughts kept bouncing between our lovemaking and his request that I be with him when he comes out to his parents.

Jasper told me to just pull up in the driveway, which felt kind of odd, given that I'd never done that before. Odd, but nice. It felt as if he was letting me in a little further into his life. I smiled at him as we got out of the car, and I waited for him to come around and open the door. He put the key in the lock and stopped mid-turn to look at me, "This feels strange...you know that? I don't feel like I'm bringing you to my home," he frowned slightly.

I stepped up to him and placed my hand in the small of his back, not sure what to say to that. He smiled softly at me, then turned the key all the way and opened the door, gesturing for me to go ahead. I took a few steps inside, my eyes taking in the small, but neat kitchen. I turned to look at him and saw him leaning back against the door, his eyes a little sad as he watched me.

"What's wrong, Jazz?" I stepped up to him and put a hand on his shoulder as I looked in his eyes.

He shook his head, but didn't say anything for another minute. I could almost see the wheels turn in his head as he thought through something. He frowned and shook his head again, mumbling, "Nothing. It's stupid."

I frowned, my eyes searching his, he lowered his eyes, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. I looked at him and sighed softly, taking him into my arms. I kissed his neck and murmured, "This isn't how you wanted to do this, is it?"

He wrapped his arms around me and shook his head again, "No. It almost feels as if we're sneaking around, trying to not get caught, you know? I'm sorry."

"Jasper..." I pulled back and cupped his face in both my hands, "don't, please? I understand, and you have nothing to be sorry about. You're not doing anything wrong, baby."

He sighed, nodding slightly as he put a hand over mine, holding it to his cheek, "Thank you."

I kissed him softly and smiled as I lowered my hands, "It'll be okay. Now, go grab your stuff. Do you need a hand?"

He shook his head, biting his lip for a moment, "No, that's okay. Uhm... I was going to show you my room, but..."

"That's alright, I understand. I'll just wait here until you're done," I took his hand and gave it a quick squeeze before tilting my head, indicating he should get going.

He nodded once and headed off to the other room. I heard him go up some stairs, and then the opening and closing of a door. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I looked around. I walked over to the counter and leaned back against it as I folded my arms across my chest. I tried not to think too much, but I couldn't help worrying about Jasper.

_Is this all happening too fast? I love him so much and I know he loves me, too. _I sighed. _I don't want to risk losing him by him pushing himself to do what he's not really ready for. _I looked to where he'd gone to and pinched the bridge of my nose. _And who are you to decide what he's ready for, Edward Cullen? Jasper's a grown man, he makes his own decisions, and you'd damn well better let him._

Before too long, Jasper was walking back into the kitchen carrying his laptop, and a stack of books in his arms, and a backpack over his shoulder. He smiled at me before putting down the books and laptop on the counter, and slipping the backpack off his shoulder so he could step in front of me. He placed his hands on my hips, and as I looked in his eyes, I could see that most of the sadness had gone.

I smiled and kissed him softly, "Got everything you need?"

"Yep. All set, since I've got my swimming gear already at your place. Would you take the bag? I don't want to risk dropping the laptop, I nearly did on the way down," he chuckled.

I grinned as he stepped back and I stooped to grab the backpack, shrugging it on my shoulder. He picked up his books and laptop and walked to the door, opening it and letting me get out first. He was balancing his things carefully as he turned to lock the door behind him. I'd walked over to the car and put his backpack on the backseat while he was locking up. I held the door open for him so he could put his stuff in as well.

He closed the door, and pecked my lips, "Take me home, darlin'?"

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**A/N: **I've been working hard to get a backlog started for this, since life seems to enjoy throwing curveballs to both

myself and my beta fish. It's getting there, slowly.

I've also been working hard with SorceressCirce on our collab story Marked.

Be on the look out for it, it'll be posted under out joint pen name Whitlock-Masen, link can be found in my profile.

Anyway. My point is that I'm trying to make it so that there won't be as long of a wait in between chapters in future. It may take a little while yet, but hopefully not another month. Think of this though, as the calm before the storm.

It's coming.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thanks to ForksReverie & JayceStorm for being my beta-fish and for letting me pick your brains. ^_~**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. However, these boys own my heart. ^_~**

* * *

**JPOV**

I stretched my arms above my head and rolled my neck, trying to get rid of the kinks. I'd been sitting on the couch, with my laptop on my legs, failing to concentrate. I was still tired from getting up as early as we had. The late night before didn't help matters either. I grinned to myself as I thought about making love with Edward. I put my head back against the couch and closed my eyes as I let my thoughts drift.

Last night had been amazing. When Edward made love to me last weekend, I didn't think anything could feel as good as that. I'd wanted him and had vividly fantasized about being with him that way. But no fantasy could compare, and none of my previous sexual experiences held a candle to the intimacy and love Edward and I shared.

With him, everything felt so much...more. I couldn't even begin to try and describe it, even to myself. I just knew, down in my very core, that he was the one for me, the one who made me feel so alive, loved, wanted. Cherished, even. I chuckled softly at that thought. Last night, when he asked me to make love to him, I'd been worried about hurting him, or not being able to pleasure him as he had me.

When I thought about it though, I knew what he had said made sense. It'd be good, because it was _us_. So I decided to do what I could to show him how I felt. That _he_ was loved, wanted, and cherished. He had taken such care with me our first time together, I wanted to do that for him. I knew of course, that he didn't need to be relaxed and assured to the same extent as he had prepared me for my first experience; Edward had been with other men. But his kindness and the care he lavished on me created a connection that was more than just amazing sex. At least, it felt that way to me, and I wanted him to feel that way as well. Judging by his reactions, I believed he had. I felt a satisfied grin spread across my lips as I lingered on the memory.

My laptop was still open, and I hadn't turned the sound down, so I was startled out of my thoughts by the 'ding' of a new IM message.

**EACullen:** Mornin' Sunshine :-) You get settled in okay?

**Jazzman:** 'course. Did you make it to work on time?

By the time we'd picked up the few things I'd need for the coming week, we'd been running later than planned. Edward didn't have time to help get my things up to the apartment, and had to rush off almost as soon as I was out of the car. Though not until after I'd given him a kiss, which may or may not have been the reason for his tardiness this morning. I chuckled softly.

**EACullen: **No, but that's okay. My boss told me to make it up during lunch time though ;-)

**Jazzman:** Uh oh, did someone get caught sneaking into the office? *grin*

**EACullen:** Yeah, I wonder why that would be :-P

We bantered back and forth for a few minutes before he had to log off again. I stared at his last message for a while before closing the IM.

**EACullen: **I'll try and get on IM later, but if I don't see you, I hope you have a good day, baby. Make yourself comfortable, okay? I love you.  
P.S. I kind of like the idea of you being at home...

I hadn't even gotten the chance to reply before he'd logged. I wasn't sure if he really had to go, or if he was worried about my response. I put my laptop down on the coffee table and looked around the living room. My eyes landed on the guitars hanging on the wall and I smiled, thinking back to the last time we had played together. I got up and walked over to the guitars, picked up the acoustic and made my way back to the couch.

I settled myself down, tuned the guitar and began to idly play, not really having anything in mind but just allowing the music to free my thoughts and emotions. I spent the next forty minutes or so, losing myself in the music. At the end of it, I felt even more relaxed than I had. I noticed it last night also, that as soon as I arrived here, things seemed to just melt away. However when we had gone to my parents' house, I started to feel tense again.

I realized that my reaction was because their house wasn't _my_ home anymore. Being with Edward felt like home now. My hands had stilled on the guitar, my palm flat on the wooden surface as that thought struck me with a new level of clarity: _Edward _is_ where I belong, where I feel at home – at peace. _I wondered if he felt the same, though I thought he might, given his last IM comment. I smiled at that.

I got up and put the guitar back in its holder on the wall. I looked at the clock, noting that it was getting close to lunchtime. I went to the kitchen to look for something to eat. While I was putting lunch together for myself - just a plain ham and cheese sandwich and some carrot sticks, as I wasn't in the mood to do anything elaborate - I checked to see what I could do about dinner. I figured I might as well make myself useful, as I'd be staying here for a while.

I checked the fridge and freezer, finding everything I would need for an easy meal. I didn't really want to face grocery shopping, and I was confident I could still make a Rose-worthy dinner by whipping up a tasty meal with the shrimp and parmesan I found. I noticed Edward had a bottle of white wine and put it in the fridge to chill for dinner. A search of the cupboards produced linguini, an onion and garlic. _Perfect. _I smiled, putting the ingredients on the counter, so I wouldn't have to go looking again.

I'd finished eating my lunch and made quick work of the few dishes I'd used before going back to try working on my schoolwork. I sat on the couch, opting to keep the laptop on the coffee table, and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees as I read the assignment again. It wasn't due for another two weeks, but I wanted to get a head start so I wouldn't have it hanging over my head causing stress about spending time with Edward,

Pushing everything else to the back of my mind, I set an alarm to remind me to start dinner and concentrated on my work. Edward never made it back to IM, which was fine in the sense that it allowed me to focus on my assignment. On the other hand, I missed him. When my alarm went off, I shut my laptop down and put it away. I'd be all too happy to not see it again until tomorrow. Tonight I just wanted to be able to spend time with my boyfriend, since neither of us had any plans or obligations for the evening.

I walked over to his sound system and after looking through his playlists on the iPod that was plugged in, I hit play. I smiled as 'Hotel California' began playing. I turned it up enough so I'd be able to hear it in the kitchen, and began to sing along. I went to the kitchen, and put a pot of water on to boil for the linguini, after adding a pinch of salt and bit of olive oil. I quickly grabbed the things I needed from the fridge and freezer and began cleaning and deveining the shrimp. Once that nasty but very necessary task was accomplished and the shrimp were drying on paper towels, I diced some onion, minced some garlic and chopped fresh parsley for the sauce.

After melting some butter mixed with olive oil, I sauteed the garlic and onions. Once they were translucent and aromatic, I added some chicken broth, the wine and salt and pepper to taste, letting it simmer while I put the pasta into the now boiling water. The song had changed as I was working, and I took a moment to listen. I smiled when I realized it was 'American Pie' and once again began to sing along. _God, I love that song._ I was so into the music, that I didn't hear Edward come in. I turned around to grab the shrimp when I noticed him standing in the doorway to the kitchen with a bemused smirk on his lips.

He chuckled as he pushed off and walked toward me, "What's cookin', good lookin'?"

His eyes were dancing with mirth as he kissed me lightly on the lips. I rolled my eyes at him, kissing him back before turning my attention back to the stove as I answered.

"Garlic shrimp linguini. You're home a little earlier than I expected. What did you do, skip lunch altogether?"

I turned up the heat under the sautee pan and added the shrimp, stirring it for a moment before checking the pasta. _Almost._ I turned to look at him and found him leaning against the kitchen island, smiling as he watched me.

"Yeah, I did, actually. And I'm glad I did, as it afforded me the pleasure of finding you at work. A guy could get used to being spoiled like this, you know," he teased.

I chuckled as I turned to check on the food again. The pasta was done, so I quickly drained the water and divided the pasta onto the plates I had set out. I asked Edward to set the table, and he quickly set about the task after giving me a peck on the lips. I finished off the sauce by adding most of the parsley and parmesan. As soon as the shrimp were ready, I spooned them over the pasta and garnished the dishes with the remaining parmesan and parsley.

After rinsing the pan so the parmesan wouldn't set, I grabbed the plates and headed to the table where Edward already sat waiting. He had set the table so we each sat kitty-corner of the other. As soon as I'd sat down, he took my hand in his, rubbing his thumb on the back of it.

"Thank you for making dinner, baby. It looks wonderful."

I smiled, "You're welcome. Now eat. Maybe after dinner we can watch a movie or something, just have a relaxing evening?"

He nodded, squeezing my hand before letting it go. Taking his glass and raising it with a smile, "Sounds like a plan to me. Cheers!"

I chuckled as I raised my glass as well. "Cheers, darlin'."

We ate in relative silence, enjoying the food, wine and each other. It felt so comfortable, so normal, that I found myself wishing we could have this every night. Edward spoke about his day for a bit, explaining why he hadn't been on IM as much today, and I told him I'd spent most of my time trying to get ahead on school work. After dinner, we made quick work of the dishes before we both decided to go and change into lounge pants, wanting to just be comfortable tonight.

Edward chose the movie this time, opting for 'The Princess Bride' with a grin. I chuckled and shook my head in amusement. _Looks like we'll be quoting a lot again tonight._ I poured us each another glass of wine before sitting down on the couch with my back against the armrest and one leg along the length of the back. Edward grinned as he snuggled up against me.

"This is a change."

I kissed him just below the ear as I wrapped my arms around his waist, "Not complaining, are you?"

He shook his head with a grin, "Nuh-uh... I kinda like this."

I chuckled again, pulling him closer to me as the movie started. He leaned his head against my chest as he nestled between my legs and we just sat and watched as the grandpa started to read to his grandson. As I'd predicted, we ended up quoting quite a bit of the dialogue to each other – laughing at each other as well as at the movie itself. When it was over, Edward turned slightly, placing a kiss on my cheek, as I had been resting it against his head.

I smiled at him before tilting my head so I could capture his lips with mine. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the kiss. Our lips meeting and parting in a slow dance. No frenzy, no urgency, just the pure delight of being together. We sat like that for I don't know how long, but I was in no hurry to leave my bubble. When we finally parted, we went to bed, where we just held each other and made out some more before finally letting sleep claim us.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When the alarm went off, I grunted and snuggled closer to Edward, neither ready yet to start my day nor to have him leave. I opened my eyes just enough to see him hit snooze, he turned around, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my temple. I thought I heard him murmur something, but only caught "...definitely used to...". I tilted my head so I could see him, "Hm?"

He ran his fingers through my hair, "Shh, nothing, baby, just sleep some more."

"Mkay...."

I felt his lips press against my forehead as I fell asleep again, his arms tightening around me. When the alarm went off again, I reluctantly let him get up and stretched, smiling lazily at him.

"Good thing it's Friday today, darlin'. I don't plan on us getting up early tomorrow."

He laughed and shook his head, "Well now I definitely have something to look forward to then, don't I?" He winked as he grabbed some boxer briefs before heading to the bathroom and taking a shower. I chuckled softly and decided to get up and make breakfast.

I started up some toast and a pot of coffee while I scrambled eggs and fried bacon for us. By the time Edward was dressed and walking into the kitchen, I'd plated the buttered toast, eggs and bacon and poured us both a glass of orange juice. He looked at the food and then up at me with a look of surprise on his face. I smirked at him, "What?"

He shook his head as he took a seat at the kitchen island. "Nothing. Just wasn't expecting all of this, thank you."

I rolled my eyes as I took a bite of a piece of bacon. I poured myself a cup of coffee before turning to him, "Coffee?"

"Yes, please!"

I chuckled and poured him a cup, handing it to him. I grabbed the sugar and cream, setting it in front of him before sitting down to eat. After adding some to his coffee, he wrapped both hands around his cup, closed his eyes and hummed softly, "Mmm, thank you again, Jazz." He opened his eyes as he sipped his coffee.

"You're welcome. By the way, we'll need to go to the grocery store after swimming, I think. You're running low on a few things."

He nodded, as he had just taken a mouthful of eggs. As soon as he'd swallowed his food, he answered, "Yeah, I know. Was going to do that today anyway. Speaking of swimming, how are you getting to the club? Want me to swing by here and pick you up, or are you going on your bike?"

I thought for a moment as I finished my breakfast, and watched him eat the last of his, "You can pick me up if you like. Unless it's out of your way?"

He shook his head before downing the last of his coffee and getting up, "No, it's not. Then I'll be back around 3:30."

He started to clear the table, but stopped when I stepped up to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and kissed him softly on the lips. "Don't worry about those, you need to get going or you'll be late. Again."

I chuckled softly as he smirked and pulled me closer, murmuring, "Can't have that now, can we. The boss might not take that well."

He kissed me tenderly and I hummed with pleasure. He whispered against my lips, "I love you."

I smiled as I said, "I love you, too. Shouldn't you be going though?"

He groaned, "Alright, alright, if you're that anxious to be rid of me." He winked, and I just rolled my eyes at him.

As soon as he left, I took care of the dishes and went to take a shower. After getting dressed, I decided to do some more work on my assignment, so I grabbed my books and my laptop, opting to take a seat at the dining table this time. I worked through the morning, only catching Edward on IM a couple of times as he checked in. He was too busy to stay and chat though, but it was nice to just touch base.

It was something I'd gotten used to over the last several weeks. I hadn't thought about it much, but it struck me that in past relationships I'd never had this need to connect before. I smiled and shook my head at myself, muttering under my breath, "Definitely got it bad."

After a quick lunch, I decided to do some of the textbook reading part of my homework. I was sick of sitting behind the computer for so long and needed a change of pace. I grabbed one of the books, got a bottle of water from the fridge before settling myself on the couch. I ended up absorbed in my reading and was startled by my alarm going off, letting me know I had to get ready for swimming. I bookmarked the page, set the book down on the coffee table and went to the bedroom to grab my things.

I heard the front door open right as I was finished packing my bag. I slung it over my shoulder, grabbing Edward's bag as well, which he had packed before leaving for work, and walked into the living room. Edward stood by the door, going through his mail and turned to me with a smile.

"Hey, you ready?"

I tossed him his bag with a grin. "Yup, let's go."

As soon as he locked the door, I grabbed his hand in mine, which earned me a raised eyebrow and a grin. I just squeezed his hand and pulled him into the elevator once the doors opened. There was already someone in it, and we both smiled, nodding in greeting at the girl as she watched us appraisingly. I felt a little uncomfortable, but wasn't sure whether that was due to the fact we were still holding hands and this was someone I didn't know, or because of the way the girl was checking both of us out.

Edward must have sensed my discomfort and tried to let go of my hand, but I just tightened my grip, shaking my head slightly at him. He tilted his head a little before flicking his eyes to the girl and back at me. I shook my head again and he smiled, squeezing my hand. When the doors finally opened, we got out, the girl continuing down another floor. When we got to the car, he put both our bags in the back before turning to me.

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and hugged me close as he whispered in my ear, "I know I keep saying it, but thank you."

I turned my head slightly and kissed his neck, wrapping my arms around his waist as I murmured, "You shouldn't thank me for that, darlin'. I love you, and it's about time I was able to show that. I meant what I said the other night, Edward. I don't want to hurt you anymore, and I know that not being able to show affection was hurting you."

We stood like that for a few minutes before I pulled away, planting a kiss on his forehead and smiling at him, "Now come on, there are kids that need to learn to swim, and it just wouldn't do for their teachers to be late."

He chuckled, "Well, since you put it that way..."

He pecked my lips before getting into the car. We arrived at the club just in time. We were just going to have a repeat of last lesson, and the aides had already set up the lanes for us, so it was just a matter of dividing the kids and assigning the lanes. The lesson went by quickly, and James had yet again proven to be the one with the most laps done. I smiled as I watched Edward praise him again, and saw James' face light up. _The kid might turn out okay if he keeps this up._

After the kids were gone, we both changed into our training gear and the fact that we both went at the same time didn't cause me even a hint of anxiety. It wasn't as big of a thing now that we had the chance to be together more freely. Training was spent doing more stamina training and then we split up into teams again for scrimmage. The hour passed so quickly; it felt like it had just started by the time we were exiting the pool and stowing away the equipment in the storage closet.

We took our time in the locker room, joking around with Emmett and Felix. Felix was giving Emmett a hard time about being head over heels for Rosalie. Apparently, if the ribbing he was getting from Felix and Edward was anything to go by, he had never before been this serious about a girl. Edward had told me that he'd had a few girlfriends before Rosalie, but that most had been more casual. With Rose though, he was definitely more intense, and was at her beck and call. Not that she was overly demanding, but – well Rose _is_ Rose – it was nice to know that he would be there for her.

Emmett gave me a shrug and a small smirk, "What can I say, man, your sister's an amazing woman."

I chuckled, slapping him on the back as we walked out to the hallway, "Just remember that, and we'll be cool."

"Hey Jazzie."

I looked around and to my surprise saw Rose waiting in the hall.

"Rose? What brings you..." I caught her eyes going from me to Emmett and back, and I shook my head, not even bothering to finish my sentence.

"Never mind."

She grinned as she walked up to me and hugged me. I chuckled as I hugged her back. She stepped past me and to my surprise gave Edward a hug as well, which he returned after a few stunned seconds. She rolled her eyes at the look of surprise on both our faces and was pulled into a bear of a hug by Emmett, which caused her to squeal. _Rosalie never squeals_. My eyes widened at this display of girlish behavior, so unlike what I was used to from my sister. Edward looked from the two of them to me with a bemused expression on his face.

Rose slapped Emmett's arm, "Let me go you big oaf!" But her tone of voice belied any irritation she may have felt, as did the grin she was sporting. Emmett laughed, kissed her neck and let her go, instead draping his arm across her shoulder as she tucked into his side. Rosalie looked happier than I'd ever seen her, and I smiled. _Yep, he's definitely good for her. _Edward stepped next to me, not quite touching. He was still being careful with me. I leaned into him a little, as I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

He smiled softly as he put his hand flat on my lower back, and I grinned at him. I turned to look at Rosalie as she cleared her throat, and saw her grinning widely at us. I feigned irritation at her, which made her laugh.

"Jazz, Edward... we were wondering what your plans were this weekend?"

I looked at Edward for a moment and he shook his head, so I turned to Rose again. "We have none, why? What were you thinking?"

She smiled at us both as she slipped an arm around Emmett's back and placed her other hand on his chest.

"We thought it might be nice to go on a double date? What do you say? Dinner, maybe catch a movie or something after?"

I felt Edward's hand gently rub my back, silently telling me this was my call. I glanced at him and he nodded, confirming my suspicion. I sighed and thought about it for a moment, leaning a little further into his side. _Going out, the four of us?_ I bit my lip. The idea wasn't wholly unappealing. But a double date, with my sister? And Emmett, who can be quite exuberant to say the least. Could I handle that out in public?

I looked at my sister and saw the hopeful look in her eyes. I turned to look at Edward, who was watching me carefully. I couldn't quite determine how he might feel about it, but I knew he'd do whatever I decided on in this case. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I turned back to Rosalie and nodded.

"Sure. Where did you have in mind? And when?"

Edward smiled and pressed his lips to my temple briefly, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on my back. Rosalie looked up at Emmett with a bright smile before turning her attention to me again.

"Sometime tomorrow? Lunch or dinner, doesn't matter much either way. And I don't care where we go and eat, as long as the food is good. The company's what matters more, and I know that's already covered."

She winked at us, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Well thanks, sis. Why don't we make it a late lunch, and we can figure out what to do after that while we eat. As for where..." I looked at Edward, "Any thoughts, darlin'?"

He thought for a moment, before looking at Emmett.

"McMenamins? Burgers and beer, I don't think the big guy'd go for anything less."

He grinned at Emmett before turning back to me. I nodded, "Sounds good to me." I looked at Emmett and Rosalie.

"Meet you at Queen Anne's McMenamins around two?"

After we were all in agreement, they left together and Edward and I went to go grocery shopping. As mundane a thing as it was to do, I felt oddly excited, if that was even the right word for it. _Because it feels like we are buying food for our place. _We'd agreed to get most of what we'd eat the upcoming week, so we wouldn't need to go again unless we ran out of perishables which I'd be able to manage on my bike. The idea of planning for that much time together made me stupidly silly, and I had to work hard to keep the grin off my face by the time we got to the store.

I grabbed a cart as we went into the Whole Foods store, letting Edward lead the way. I hadn't been to this one, so I figured I'd follow him. We started at the produce section, getting various fruits and vegetables. Edward was very particular about what he considered to be good quality which made me smile. It was a trait that he shared with Momma, and for a moment I thought that the two of them might just be able to get along.

Next we went to the meat department, going back and forth over what we would be having for dinner for the next week. We ended up with a variety of meats, from bison to pork, chicken, and beef, as Edward said we'd figure it out at home and we'd just put the rest in the freezer for later meals. I chuckled and shook my head. We went through the rest of the store at a leisurely pace.

We concluded neither of us was in the mood to cook tonight so we just grabbed prepared food from the deli and salad bar. We headed to the cashier to check-out and Edward insisted on paying for everything, which I reluctantly allowed. I figured I could always return the favor on the next shopping trip since I wasn't exactly smarting for money.

Once we got home, we took the time to put all the groceries away properly before sitting down to eat, opting to perch at the kitchen island. After we finished and had cleaned up, we decided to watch another movie. Neither of us was really up for much else, as training had been relatively strenuous. After some discussion, we settled on watching 'Stargate Continuum'.

This time I snuggled up to Edward, sitting next to him on the couch, my head resting on his shoulder. After the movie was over, we talked about it and the series, discussing our favorite characters and episodes.

Before we could get too deep into discussion though, I started yawning. Edward got up, pulling me to him with a smile.

"I think we should get some sleep, baby, if we're going to make it on that double date with your sister and Emmett tomorrow."

I nodded and slipped my arm around his waist as we walked to the bedroom, making sure to turn off all the lights as we went. Snuggling up to Edward in bed, the last fleeting thought I had was that I couldn't recall ever being so content in my life, and I drifted off to sleep with a smile.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I woke up to the feeling of Edward's fingers trailing featherlight across my back, from my shoulders all the way down to my lower back and up again. I was snuggled up against him, actually laying half on top of him. I moaned softly, pressing myself closer to him and nuzzling his neck lightly before placing a soft kiss on his pulse point. I gave a contented sigh as he pulled me to him and kissed the top of my head, "Mornin', darlin'," I muttered.

Edward rolled us both over so we were on our sides facing each other, slipping a knee between my legs so we were all tangled. His hand went to the back of my neck, pulling my face to his. His lips found mine and I closed my eyes as we kissed, my hand caressing his side. After a few minutes of languid kisses and touches, he pulled back slightly with a soft "Mmm, good morning, indeed."

I opened my eyes to see him grinning at me, his hand cupping my cheek. I raised an eyebrow in a silent question and he chuckled softly before pecking me on the lips.

"Just remembering what you said yesterday morning, baby. Something about not planning on getting up early today?"

I smirked. "Well, if it weren't for the double date later today, I'd have happily stayed in bed all day, darlin'." I waggled my eyebrows suggestively at him, chuckling.

He growled softly, pushing me onto my back as he lowered himself onto me.

"You are a wicked man, Jasper, teasing me like that. What ever shall I do with you?"

I grinned as I slipped my hands around his waist, moving them slowly down and cupping his ass, pushing him into me.

"I can think of a thing or two..."

I didn't get the chance to finish my sentence as Edward's lips crashed to mine, though he appeared to have had much the same thoughts as I'd had. We spent the next several hours in bed making love. I had half a mind to call and cancel our plans, but Edward reminded me that it would not do to alienate Rosalie at this point, so I relented. We got up around eleven, when both of us were too hungry to ignore our grumbling stomachs any longer.

Since we would be showering before going out today, we both decided to just put on our lounge pants until it was time to get ready. I certainly didn't mind since it meant being able to enjoy the sight of a bare-chested Edward. I chuckled softly as I walked into the kitchen, grabbing a plate, the loaf of bread, peanut butter and a banana. Edward walked in right as I finished putting the peanut butter and banana sandwich together and was taking my first bite.

He made a face as he watched me, before pulling the bread and peanut butter to prepare himself a quick snack, too. I grinned as I watched him, he was still wearing a grossed out look on his face and I chuckled as I grabbed us both a glass of milk. He shook his head as I took another bite and I raised my eyebrow at him. I held out my half eaten sandwich to him with a grin.

"Don't knock it 'til ya tried it, darlin'."

He rolled his eyes and huffed, "It just doesn't sound appealing...at all! Peanut butter _and_ banana?"

I nodded and motioned for him to take a bite.

"Try it, Edward, it's good." I winked at him.

He stepped up to me to grab my hand, and slowly took a bite, keeping his eyes on me as he did. It took a few seconds, before his eyes shot up in surprise and as soon as he'd finished his bite he smirked slightly.

"That was actually... good."

His hand was still holding mine and I grinned at him, "Told ya."

I took another bite of the sandwich as he shook his head, smiling, "Where ever did you pick up that combo from?"

I frowned, swallowing hard past the lump that had suddenly taken residence in my throat. I put the sandwich down, not hungry anymore as I answered him in a soft whisper, not able to get my voice to work properly, "Brendan..." I looked up at him, my eyes prickling with tears that threatened to spill.

"He was my best friend as a kid, and peanut butter and banana sandwiches were his favorite. I guess it's something that stuck with me over the years."

I didn't often think about Brendan anymore. At least, I tried not to, but Edward's innocent question had suddenly put Brendan to the forefront of my mind again. Even after all these years, thinking about him still hurt. I looked at Edward, who was watching me closely with concern and uncertainty in his eyes. I rubbed my face with both hands and took a deep breath, the sandwich long forgotten.

I felt Edward's hand rest on my shoulder as he spoke softly, "Tell me about Brendan? What happened to him to have you so upset?"

I lifted my hand to rest it on top of the one he had on my shoulder, "Can we go sit down?"

He nodded and took my hand in his as he led us to the couch, gently pulling me to him as he sat down, wrapping his arms around me comfortingly. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I hadn't spoken about Brendan for years, even Rose and I rarely brought him up anymore. I thought back to the last day I'd spent with him, all those years ago, trying to make sure I would get everything right.  
_  
Brendan was my best friend of two years. He and I were out on a dock at the lake that was on the far end of his dad's property. We were there to fish, as we always did on any given Saturday. Our parents let us go out on our own to fish, but had warned us not to "horse-play" when on the dock or near the water. We were ten-year olds and didn't think about there being any danger; we just enjoyed the fun of a day of fishing with our best friend. We'd already caught and released several fish and Brendan was showing off near the edge of the dock. I warned him not to get too close to edge, as we both knew the lake to be deep right there._

He didn't listen; instead, he turned around and pointed wildly behind him. Too wildly. He lost his footing and slipped. I don't know whether he hit his head as he went down, but he didn't come up. I couldn't swim very well, and I knew he couldn't either. I screamed for help and ran to where I'd last seen him. I kept screaming as I jumped stupidly in after him. I didn't care that I might get hurt, I just wanted to help my friend.

Fortunately for me, one of the guys that worked on the property for Brendan's dad had been mending a fence and heard my screams. He came running, saw me and jumped in after me. He wasn't aware that Brendan was under the water. He pulled me out, kicking and screaming as I tried to tell him that Brendan was down there and needed my help. When he realized what must have happened, he deposited me on the ground with a firm warning to stay put, dove back under water and after what felt like hours, came up with Brendan.

I'd never in my life seen anyone look as blue as he was. His head hung limply over the man's arm as he carried him out. He'd been under water for almost 12 minutes by the time he was on land. The man tried to get him to breathe again, but it was no use. Brendan was gone. He carried him back to the house, and I followed after them, shivering and crying.

I ran my fingers through my hair, my voice husky with emotion as I related what happened that day. Edward listened in silence, running his hands slowly over my arms. When I was done, we sat silently for a minute before he put his lips to my temple, whispering softly, "I'm so sorry, Jasper. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you to go through."

I nodded quietly as I fidgeted with the fabric of my pants. He hugged me closer to him, murmuring, "Now that makes much more sense."

I turned to look at him questioningly, "Now what makes more sense?"

He looked into my eyes, cupping my cheek with his hand and caressing my cheekbone with his thumb.

"Your reaction back at camp, when Laurent pushed me underwater. You were so intense, so worried when I got back up to the surface. And then what happened afterward...." his voice trailed off as we both thought about what had happened after that.

I nodded. "Yeah, it brought everything right back to me." I rested my head against his shoulder before continuing, "I was so relieved you were okay. I kinda was... impulsive... wasn't I?"

I chuckled softly as I turned my head enough to be able to see his face. He grinned softly, pecking my lips.

"You could say that."

He paused a moment and sighed, "And back at the club, when you saved Jessica?"

I closed my eyes as I thought back to that day. It changed so many things in my life.

"Mhmm, I was a little... out of it, after they took her to the hospital. I was afraid we'd lost her after I first pulled her up, and I just..."

I sat up, pulling my knees up and wrapping my arms around them. I felt Edward's place his hand on my back, he began to rub it soothingly as I spoke.

"It took a long time for me to come to grips with what happened. I felt so guilty that he died and that I wasn't able to help him, to save him. I shut everyone out. The only one who was even remotely able to get through to me was Rosalie.

When Daddy got transferred a few weeks after the accident, my parents got me counseling, which helped a lot. Another thing that helped was Momma signed Rose and me up for swimming lessons. She never wanted to risk a repeat of that day. The more confident I became in the water, the more determined I became to never have it happen again, either. Eventually, I learned to swim well enough to get trained as a lifeguard at the swimming club.

I also started to help teach kids younger than me to swim. Every child should know how..." my voice trailed off and I rested my forehead on my knees.

I don't know how long we sat there in silence, but Edward's hand gently stroking my back reminded me I wasn't alone, and that thought was enough to bring me some measure of peace as I remembered and mourned the friend I'd lost so long ago. After a moment, he pulled me close, guiding my head to his shoulder as we wrapped our arms around each other. Edward's touch held a promise of forever - a promise that he would do everything in his power to make sure I was never left alone and helpless again.

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**A/N: **There, you finally know who Brendan is, and what his connection to Jasper was. I'm sure Jasper'd welcome some lovin' right about now. Especially with what's coming, too. I don't know when I will update the next chapter, but I promise I will do my best to get it out to you soon.

Also, I do appreciate each and every review, but with working on 4 stories now, I don't know if I can keep up the replies. I will try though, but please do know that I love hearing from you regardless.

No, you're not missing out on anything. The 4th story I'm working on won't get posted until it's done or close to it. It's another collab with SorceressCirce and got kicked off by a request from MorganaL for a Charlie/Carlisle fic, and she donated to the Fandom Gives Back/Alex's Lemonade Stand that's going on. None of our other stories will be neglected, but I hope you understand when updates are a little bit slower (especially since my chapters are getting longer).

Okay, epic A/N done, I think. See you soon!

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	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: ForksReverie, I hope life settles down for you soon so you can enjoy the holidays. Thanks to SorceressCirce for stepping in as beta.**

**Thanks also to JayceStorm for letting me pick your brain. ^_~**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. These boys do love to party ^_~**

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_When Daddy got transferred a few weeks after the accident, my parents got me counseling, which helped a lot. Another thing that helped was Momma signed Rose and me up for swimming lessons. She never wanted to risk a repeat of that day. The more confident I became in the water, the more determined I became to never have it happen again, either. Eventually, I learned to swim well enough to get trained as a lifeguard at the swimming club._

_I also started to help teach kids younger than me to swim. Every child should know how..." my voice trailed off and I rested my forehead on my knees._

_I don't know how long we sat there in silence, but Edward's hand gently stroking my back reminded me I wasn't alone, and that thought was enough to bring me some measure of peace as I remembered and mourned the friend I'd lost so long ago. After a moment, he pulled me close, guiding my head to his shoulder as we wrapped our arms around each other. Edward's touch held a promise of forever - a promise that he would do everything in his power to make sure I was never left alone and helpless again. _

**EPOV**

I sat in silence, listening to Jasper as he told me what had happened to his friend. I wasn't sure what to do or say, so I slowly pulled him to me and held him close. He rested his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I couldn't even imagine going through something like that. I stroked his back, hoping it'd offer him some comfort. It had been quite the morning. Everything had started out just fine; we'd made love, and everything was good. Great, even.

_And then everything changed, because of one stupid sandwich. _I knew that memories could at times be triggered by inane things like that, but I was sorry to have caused him distress now, of all times. We were supposed to be meeting Rosalie and Emmett in - I glanced at the clock - about two hours. I wasn't sure if he even wanted to go out anymore. I'm not sure I would have, if I'd been in his shoes.

I sighed softly and pressed my lips to his forehead. "Do you want me to call Emmett, see if he and Rosalie would mind rescheduling? We can just stay home, if you like?"

I felt him shake his head against my shoulder. "No, it's okay. It'll be good to get out, I think," he shifted slightly, pressing his lips to my neck. "Thank you, though."

I ran my fingers through his hair as I pulled away far enough to be able to see his face. "You sure?"

He nodded, putting his hand on the back of my neck, pulling my face closer to his as he spoke quietly, "I'm sure, darlin'. I'll be fine."

He kissed me softly, and I closed my eyes as I tilted my head a little. I wrapped both my arms around him as our lips continued to move together. I could feel his body start to let go and relax, and finally he pulled away with a soft sigh. I watched him carefully and gave him a small smile when I saw the look of peace that had taken over that sadness from a little bit ago.

_He's been through so much already; and now he's likely going to go through even more. For me, this time._ Jasper had closed his eyes and put his head back against my shoulder. I kissed his forehead again before resting my head against his, wondering just how I was lucky enough for him to love me so strongly. I found myself wishing I could take away the pain of the past, though I realized that that pain was what had made him the man he was today.

We spent the next two hours just snuggled together on the couch. We didn't say much; occasionally he would tell me a little more about Brendan, but mostly we just sat quietly, reflecting on things. When it was time to get ready to go, Jasper got up and smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. He reached his hand to me and pulled me up, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Thank you, Edward."

I quirked a brow at him in silent question as I slipped my arms around him as well. He gave a half smile and said, "For letting me tell you about Brendan, for listening and just being there."

I rested my forehead against his, looking into his eyes. "I'll always be here, Jazz. What ever you need, I'll try to give you, even if it's just a shoulder to lean on."

He gave a soft chuckle, and this time, the smile on his face was in his eyes as well. "Well, right now I need for my boyfriend to get ready to go out with my sister and her boyfriend."

I pulled back and searched his eyes. Jasper frowned slightly, looking puzzled at what I was sure was the look of shock on my face. I felt my lips twitch before smiling broadly at him. "What did you just call me?"

Jasper's frown deepened briefly before he turned serious. "Well, darlin', I do believe I just called you my boyfriend. Was that not accurate?"

I felt my mouth open slightly as I attempted to speak, but nothing came out. Then I saw the corner of Jasper's mouth twitch slightly, turning up into that impish grin of his. I glowered briefly at him before rolling my eyes. He chuckled softly as he placed his hand on my jaw, his thumb tracing my own grin lightly. I turned my head slightly to kiss his palm before taking his hand and placing it over my heart, holding it there.

I rested my forehead against his again, whispering, "I would hope that is entirely accurate, Jazz. For my part, it has been for a while."

His grin widened as he nodded once before giving me a brief but deep kiss. "C'mon darlin', Rosalie may be many things, but she is not patient and does not like to be kept waiting."

I chuckled softly, which earned me a quirked brow from Jasper. I grinned as I said, "Then I'm truly surprised at how well she and Emmett seem to be getting on. With the possible exceptions of work and water polo, that man is perpetually late for most everything. He's way too laid back to care about trivialities like time. I've learned over the years to give him a time that's earlier than what it really is, just so he'll show up when he's supposed to be there."

Jasper laughed and shook his head. "Maybe Rose can..." he paused as if searching for the right word, "train him?" He thought for a moment and then shook his head. "Nah, probably not." He winked and chuckled.

I couldn't help but laugh at that. The thought of a punctual Emmett was a foreign one, and I doubted it could be accomplished outside the realm of work or water polo - though I'm sure it'd be interesting to see Rose try. We got showered, dressed, and ready quickly, as we had taken longer than we should have snuggling earlier. Both of us opted to not shave, and I had to admit that a Jasper with stubble was a very sexy Jasper.

_Who am I kidding? He's _always_ sexy. _

Since we were just going to McMenamins, we'd both gotten dressed in our jeans; he'd chosen a black button down shirt, leaving the top two buttons undone and his sleeves rolled up. I'd chosen a navy blue button up and - like Jasper - had left the top two buttons undone. I was just rolling up my sleeves when my phone rang. I checked the caller ID and smiled when I saw it was Bella.

Jasper looked at me as I answered, "Hey Bella, what's up?"

He went to the bathroom as I was talking to Bella. She was calling about her upcoming birthday; traditionally, we all got together for dinner and then went out dancing. This year, it seemed, she wanted to do something different. When I asked her why, she explained that she would like Jasper to join us, and that she was aware that he still wasn't too comfortable being out and about, so she asked if we could all get together at my place so that he wouldn't feel excluded.

"_So I was wondering…would you and Jasper mind cooking for everyone, too? And do you think Jasper would want to be there? I mean, I don't want him to feel like he _has_ to be, but I want to include him, you know?" _she asked_._

The grin on my face alerted Jasper something was going on as he walked up to me, and I held up a finger for him to wait a moment. "Bells, why don't you talk to him about it? I'm fine with doing that, but..."

"_You're fine with cooking? Seriously? That would be awesome! And yeah, put Jasper on the phone?"_

I nodded, even though she couldn't see that. "Okay, hold on a sec..." I held out the phone to Jasper, "Bella would like to ask you something."

He frowned slightly but took the phone and walked to the bed, where he sat down and started pulling on his socks as they spoke. I watched him, my smile widening as I saw him sit up straighter and look at me with raised eyebrows. He put his hand over the mouthpiece and whispered, "Is she serious? Are you sure you're alright hosting her party?"

I nodded and walked up to him, coming to stand in front of him and running my fingers through his hair as I listened to the rest of his conversation with Bella. "Sure, Bella. Thank you for that; I appreciate your thinking of me." He paused as he listened to her; he looked up at me through his eyelashes and flashed me a grin. "I'm fairly sure we'll be able to manage something. Anything in particular you had in mind?" He paused again. "Okay. Yeah, I'll let her know, too. Thanks again, Bella." Another pause. "See you Monday. Bye."

He hung up and handed the phone back to me with a slightly stunned look on his face. "I can't believe she'd change her plans for her birthday, just so I'd be able to be there, too."

I squatted down in between his legs, taking his hands in mine after placing the phone on my nightstand. "Jazz, you're part of the group now. Bella's considered you a friend for a while, and as such, there's little she won't do to try and be helpful in whatever way she can. More so because you're special to me. That's just Bella's way."

He grinned slightly. "I'll have to figure out something special to give her then." He tilted his head and frowned. "I think I might need some help with that though." He chuckled and shook his head. "And you _do_ realize that she's asked us to cook for everyone, right?" He gave me a skeptical look.

I chuckled. "Yes, she'd already asked me before I handed over the phone to you. I don't mind; actually, I think it might be fun."

I pecked him on the lips and got to my feet again. "Come on; we'd better hustle if we want to get to the restaurant on time."

We made it to McMenamins right at two, finding Emmett and Rosalie sitting at the bar waiting for us. Rosalie was sitting with her back to us as she was talking to Emmett, but they both got up once he spotted us and waved. Jasper and I looked at each other, sporting matching raised eyebrows and grins at Emmett's being here on time.

"Hey guys." Rose hugged Jasper tightly, kissing his cheek before letting him go.

I smiled as she stepped up to me and hugged me. "Hello, Rose," I said, hugging her back warmly.

Emmett was releasing Jasper from his typical 'man-hug', and I couldn't help but chuckle as I stepped up for one of my own. I turned to Jasper and saw him standing next to Rose again, his arm around her shoulder as he whispered in her ear, causing her to blush and roll her eyes. _Wonder what's up with that. _He grinned at me as he spoke up, his drawl a little more pronounced than usual, "So, y'all ready to sit down and have something to eat? I'm starvin'!"

A round of "Hell yes," "Absolutely," and "Lead the way" followed, causing me to chuckle. _This should prove to be a good time after all. Jasper's certainly looking happier now. _As we found a booth in a quiet corner, Jasper slid onto the bench first; he grabbed my hand and pulled me down next to him as Rose and Emmett took the seat across from us. I smiled at him, squeezing his hand briefly before slipping it out of his and handing everyone a menu.

We each looked over the choices before we agreed to share a couple of starters. After some back and forth, we finally decided to get the chicken wings - at Emmett's insistence, we went with the ones tossed in Dante's Infernal Hot Sauce - and some spinach and artichoke dip. Rose wanted to try the Brewery Taster, so we ended up getting two of those as well with Rose and Emmett sharing one, while Jasper and I split the other.

The waitress who'd taken our order came back and explained which beers were which, told us she'd be back in a few minutes with our starters, and left us to our devices. Conversation flowed fairly easily as we enjoyed the different beers. We all agreed that we didn't care for the IPA, but other than that, our tastes varied. It was actually fun to try the different flavors and see the responses from everyone. When Rose tried the Terminator Stout, she pulled a face and almost gagged, which had the rest of us laughing.

Emmett thought the IPA and Ruby were for sissies, which earned him a smack on his chest from Rose as she proclaimed that the Ruby was her favorite. Jasper and I winked at each other as we sat back and watched the two of them go back and forth. They definitely seemed to be an even match; Rosalie wouldn't put up with any shit from him, and she seemed to be bringing out a side of Emmett I hadn't seen before. The way he looked at her at times made me feel as if I was intruding on a deeply private moment. I had never seen that look on his face before. Ever.

The waitress stopped by a few times to check on us and to find out if we were ready to order our main courses yet. Emmett tried to order the Communication Breakdown Burger, but backpedaled when he saw Rose's lips purse as she raised an eyebrow at him. I chuckled, covering it quickly with a cough, but Jasper caught me, bumping my leg and seemingly having to fight hard to keep a straight face as well.

Both of us started laughing, though, when Emmett pointed at the menu as he looked at Rose and said, "The Beer Garden Burger?" though it came out as a question. Rose's lips twitched as she nodded before turning to the waitress and ordering the ale-battered fish and chips. As soon as Jasper managed to stop laughing, he ordered Maria's Masterpiece, and I ordered a cheesesteak sandwich.

Jasper cleared his throat slightly, glancing at me briefly before turning to Rosalie. I could feel him tense up, so I put my hand on his thigh, squeezing it lightly and watched his shoulders relax minutely. He took a sip of the Ruby before he put both hands in front of him. "Rose, did you talk to Momma at all before she left the other day?"

Rosalie sat back against the booth and watched us both, her brow furrowing slightly. I could practically see the wheels turning in her head. She shook her head and said, "Not since she called me to let me know about her and Daddy leaving, no. Why? What's going on?"

Jasper took a deep breath and looked right at her. "I asked Momma if we could all sit down and...talk...after they get home. She suggested lunch on Sunday." He glanced at me, and I nodded for him to continue. "I'm going to tell them, Rosie. Will you be able to be there? I've asked Edward as well..."

Rose's eyes shot to mine, and I could see the silent question in her eyes. _Are you going?_

I nodded as I lifted my hand and placed it over Jasper's, looking at him to make sure this was okay. When he smiled softly at me, I turned back to Rose. "I'll be there; if he wants me there, then there isn't anywhere else I would be."

She gave me a brief but scrutinizing look, and I saw Emmett leaning into her, whispering something in her ear. She sighed and seemed to relax at whatever he had said to her. I raised an eyebrow at him, but he just shook his head ever so slightly and mouthed, "Later." I nodded and turned my attention back to Rosalie, who was now watching her brother.

"Jasper, I told you I would be there. You won't be doing this alone; don't ever think that for one second."

Her voice had softened considerably as she spoke, and I could see the love she had for her brother shining in her eyes as she leaned forward and reached her hands across the table. She placed them over both of ours, smiling gently at me. I put my other hand on top of hers, squeezing it to let her know I appreciated her being there for him. She grinned and nodded, understanding what I meant without words.

I looked at Jasper, who was looking down at our hands. His expression was serious, from what I could tell, before he nodded once and looked at each of us in turn. When he met Emmett's eyes, Emmett spoke up, "Jasper, for what it's worth, I'm behind you, too. Not just because I'm dating your sister, either."

He grinned for a moment before adding a quick, "And not quite the same way as Copper Top," in a lower voice that passed as a whisper for Emmett, but we all heard anyway.

Jasper's eyes widened slightly before shooting back, "Good thing, too, Emmett, because you're not my type."

My eyes flicked from Jasper to Emmett and back, and in the half-second it took for what was said to sink in, we all burst out laughing. The waitress chose that moment to arrive with our food, which was a welcome distraction. She asked if anyone would like any more to drink; Rose had another Ruby, Jazz and I both ordered a Porter, and Emmett got a Hammerhead.

After a few minutes of just enjoying our food and some much lighter conversation, Jasper spoke up again, "Hey Rose, before I forget. Bella asked me to pass along an invitation to her birthday party to you."

Rose looked up and frowned, looking from Jasper to me. "Who's Bella?"

Emmett chuckled softly as he leaned back against his seat and looked at Rose. "Rosie, she's one of the girls on the team. The one that trips over her own feet a lot, long brown hair, all smiles?"

It took Rose a minute to put a face to the name, and it was funny to watch the penny drop for her. "Ahh, okay. " She frowned and looked at Jasper again. "Jazz, not that I'm opposed to being invited to a party, but why _am_ I invited? I don't even know the girl, I think I've spoken to her...all of two times."

Emmett chuckled as Jasper grinned and answered, "You're my sister, for one. And for another, you're with Emmett, which is good enough for her, I guess. Will you come?"

She shrugged. "Sure, when is it?"

I looked at her and smiled. "Next Friday at six, it'll be at my place. Bella asked Jazz and me if we would cook for everyone, so don't worry about dinner."

Rosalie quirked a brow as she asked with a grin. "You cook?"

I chuckled and nodded. "Yes, I do. My mom's a good teacher. And speaking of cooking, I wanted to thank you for helping Jasper with dinner awhile back. It was delicious."

I glanced at Jasper and saw him turning his head a bit to the wall, blushing slightly, and I was sure he was thinking about what happened _after_ dinner. I had to shift slightly to get comfortable as my own thoughts went back to that night. I cleared my throat. "As I said... thank you."

Rosalie looked at me and grinned, her eyes flicking quickly to Jasper and back to me. "I'm glad you liked it. I take it you had a...nice...evening, then?"

Jasper, who had just taken a sip of his beer, choked and spluttered at her words, coughing out a hoarse, "Rose!" and glaring at her.

Emmett leaned into her and told her to be nice, to which she rolled her eyes, but she made no further comment. After we were all done with our food, the waitress stopped by again to check on us and see if we wanted dessert or coffee. Rosalie wanted some but said she couldn't possibly finish off one by herself, so Emmett suggested they share whatever she wanted. Jasper and I quickly agreed to do the same, so we ordered the Raspberry Decadence for them and the Banana Criollo for us as well as coffee all around.

When Jasper suggested the Banana Criollo, I glanced at him, remembering what happened this morning, but I could find no trace of any distress coming from him. I was relieved, to say the least.

While we waited for dessert to show up, the topic turned to Rosalie as Jasper asked her how 'her kids' were doing. It took me a moment to remember from our many IM conversations over the past months that Rosalie volunteered at Seattle's Children's Hospital in their inpatient play room. I listened with interest as she talked about some of the kids currently at the facility. She spoke in general terms, avoiding any details that would give away confidential information, but it was clear that the job was tough on her at times.

It was obvious, though, that she loved what she did and that she loved those kids. I was beginning to really like Rose, and I could see what Emmett saw in her. Well, for the most part, anyway. While she had been talking, the waitress had delivered our coffees and desserts. I was stuffed to the gills after we were done, but it was worth it to have spent time with Emmett and Rosalie, getting to know Jasper's sister a little better.

"So, are you guys up for catching a movie or something?" Rose looked at Jasper and me in turn.

I leaned my head back against the seat as I looked at Jasper. "What do you say, baby? Movie, or something else?"

Jasper let out a long breath as he put his hands on his stomach. "Movie...I don't think I can move to do much else." He chuckled.

When the waitress came to give us our bill, I quickly snatched it up, grabbed my wallet, and handed the bill back to her with my card before anyone had even registered what was going on. I shrugged at the protests that came across the table and looked at Emmett. "Lunch was on me. You can buy the movie tickets and concessions if you want."

I raised a brow at him, and he grumbled his consent while Rose and Jasper both looked as if they could throttle us. Jasper scowled a little as he leaned into me and whispered, "One of these days, you will learn to let others foot the bill."

I snickered, "Maybe," and winked at him.

Since we'd all had something to drink, we opted to get a cab to go to the theater. Emmett and Rose wanted to go see the second _Transformers _movie, and neither Jasper nor I were opposed to seeing it, so that's what we did. I thought to myself that Emmett must be very happy to have found a girl who was as into cars as he was.

Emmett did indeed end up paying for everything at the theater, and when Rose protested, he pulled her to his side, wiggling his eyebrows as he smirked and said that she could always pay him back later. Jasper and I both rolled our eyes at that and chuckled as Rose smacked him upside the head, muttering something in his ear.

During the movie, Jasper next to me, his body inclined to mine so our shoulders touched. Once the lights had all gone out, he grabbed my hand and held it through most of the movie. It felt good to have that contact with him. We'd touched before while at the movies, but we'd always been alone; this time was a little different. Even if it was his sister and Emmett, it still made me smile.

After the movie was over, we hugged Emmett and Rose goodbye after thanking them for a great time. It had been freeing to spend time as a couple with other people. For the rest of the evening, we just relaxed, cuddling and talking about the day. It felt good, comfortable, and _right_.

The rest of our week together passed much the same as the first few days. Sunday, Jasper insisted we go shopping for Bella, as we wouldn't have much time or inclination to go anywhere during the week. I didn't usually care to shop around town, but I found myself enjoying it as we tried to find something for her. I was still careful to not have too much PDA with Jasper, not entirely sure just how comfortable he would be with it. It made my heart swell whenever he'd take my hand in his or put his hand on my back or arm to get my attention and let it linger there.

After a couple of hours, we finally found something we thought she would like. Victorious in our efforts, we went home to relax and just have some quiet time together. Jasper worked on some more homework while I caught up on lesson plans for the kids and training for the team. I was tempted to call Dad and take time off this week but thought better of it.

I did, however, talk to him on Monday to ask for the day off on Friday, so Jasper and I would have plenty of time to get everything ready for the party.

Before I knew it, it was Friday morning. I woke up and saw that Jasper was still asleep. I just watched him for a while, thinking back on the week. I loved coming home to him, waking up with him next to me, and going to sleep with him in my arms, or me in his. Every day I looked forward to coming home, knowing he would be there. He seemed to relax more and more with every day that went by, and I loved seeing him become so free.

Now it was Friday, which meant that our time of living together was almost at an end, since his parents were coming home today. I watched Jasper, who looked so peaceful in sleep, and I wondered what would happen this weekend, how things would be. I scooted closer to him and put my arm around his waist, snuggling into him. I was feeling a little melancholy, and though I knew we should get up soon and prepare for tonight, I wasn't ready to leave the sanctuary of this bed.

Jasper stirred and gave a soft groan as he stretched. I raised my eyes to look at him, and his voice was groggy as he gazed back at me with sleep-hazy eyes. "Mornin', darlin'."

I lowered my head, smiling against his skin and taking a deep breath, letting his scent flood my senses before looking up at him with a soft smile, "Good morning, Jazz."

I felt his fingers skim across my side. I shifted so I could kiss him, and I closed my eyes when I felt him respond to me. I hummed my pleasure as Jasper gently rolled me onto my back and crawled over me, pressing into me. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him as close as I could, and resumed our kiss. _I can't think of a better way to wake up._ I let my hands roam over his body, reveling in the feel of the muscles flexing under my touch, the way his body seemed to come alive just for me.

Before too long, we were making love, and I tried to commit every touch, every thrust, moan, and kiss to memory. The feeling of him writhing beneath me as I took him, the heat of him, the smell, sight, and sound of him. Everything. I wasn't sure why, but I did it anyway. He was going home too soon, and I wanted this to last. With whispered 'I love you's' traded back and forth between us, the urge to just let go soon became too much.

After we were both sated and spent, we lay together for a while, Jasper's head lying in the crook of my neck. We were just enjoying this moment of contentment, knowing we would have to get up and get ready soon. Jasper was the first to stir as he looked up at me through his lashes, silently letting me know it was time to get moving. I smiled and kissed his forehead, murmuring, "I know. We have a lot to do today."

We took a shower together, washing each other with tender care, just taking our time. I hugged him close after turning off the water, kissing his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist, nuzzling my neck in turn, whispering, "Edward, are you alright?"

I pulled back slightly and sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just not ready for this week to be over yet." I pushed his wet curls from his forehead and smiled sadly. "I love having you here, Jasper. I love _you_."

He leaned in and kissed me tenderly, murmuring against my lips, "I love you, too. And I love being with you, darlin'. But this week isn't over yet, and we have a party to prepare for. So, ready or not, we have to get hoppin'."

With that, he smacked my ass lightly and grinned. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was trying to lighten the mood and not think about this almost being the end of our time together. It just wouldn't be quite the same, and we both knew it. I pecked him on the lips before grabbing a towel and handing it to him. We toweled off in silence and got dressed comfortably, knowing we'd change again just before the party.

I grabbed the list of things we'd need from the store on my way out the door. We decided to grab something quick to eat before beginning our shopping venture, so we stopped at the coffee shop around the corner and grabbed a couple of coffees to go as well as bagels and cream cheese. It wasn't much, but it would do, and neither of us was very interested in anything special.

After about an hour-and-a-half of running around, we finally made it home. Jasper started up a pot of coffee and turned on the stereo, while I put things away. Jasper had, over the course of the week, done what cleaning was needed - which, thankfully, wasn't much - so we could concentrate on cooking, baking, and getting the place ready.

We'd decided on serving lasagna, since that was relatively easy to prepare in larger quantities, and we both were good at making it. Jasper was also going to bake a few different kinds of bread from scratch, as well as a birthday cake. All the baking to be done made me very glad of my ovens, as we would need them both for most of the day. We also had gotten the fixings for a salad, and I was going to make some flavored butters for the bread.

After we each got a cup of coffee, we set to work, falling quickly into an easy rhythm. I had never been so glad that Esme had insisted on my having a larger kitchen - initially I hadn't seen the need for one, since I was single and not likely to be getting the husband and 2.5 kids. I had entertained at times, of course, but never quite like this.

I found myself enjoying working with Jasper. We joked back and forth about various mishaps we'd had in the past as far as cooking or baking went. We'd steal a kiss or hug when we were able, careful not to startle the other and cause any accidents.

I made us a couple of panini as a quick lunch, after which I went and decorated the living room while Jasper kept working in the kitchen. Everything seemed to be right on schedule, and before we knew it, it was time for us to change for the party.

I got dressed first, since Jasper was putting the finishing touches on the cake and making sure everything else was ready to go. I put on my khakis and a cobalt blue button down shirt. I kept the top two buttons undone, like I usually did, and walked into the kitchen while rolling up my sleeves. Since we weren't going to be leaving the house, I decided to just go barefoot and be comfortable.

Jasper looked up as I walked in, and I grinned as I noticed his eyes roam over my body. I walked up to him and kissed him briefly. "Your turn, baby. People will be showing up here in a few minutes."

I chuckled softly at his stifled groan. He sighed and nodded before pecking my lips, murmuring against them so low I wasn't sure whether I was supposed to hear or not, "You look too damn hot for my own good."

I quirked a brow as I looked at him, grinning broadly. He blushed slightly and cleared his throat, mumbling, "Never mind."

I watched him walk out of the kitchen, shaking my head and chuckling. While he was getting dressed, I checked to make sure everything was ready for Bella's party. I had the dining table pushed against the wall and set up buffet style. I had gotten a few balloons and streamers and scattered them around the room. I'd thought about candles but reconsidered since there'd be quite a few people here, and alcohol would be involved. _Better safe than sorry._

I walked back to the kitchen to open a couple of bottles of wine. I'd opened the fridge and was leaning on the door in an effort to find the wine I'd put in earlier when I felt Jasper's arms snake around my waist and squeeze me to him. I smiled, closing the fridge door as I straightened up and leaned back into him. He kissed my neck briefly before allowing me to turn around and get a look at what he was wearing, and this time it was _my_ turn to stifle a groan.

He was dressed in black jeans and an eggplant-colored dress shirt. Like me, he had his sleeves rolled up, top buttons open, and no socks. I whispered softly, "Fuck me..."

The cocky grin he gave me as he heard me did nothing for my restraint, and I cut him off as he began to talk, crashing my lips to his. He moaned into the kiss, and I started walking him backwards until he hit the counter, pressing into him. His hands were in my hair and on my lower back, pulling me closer still.

The buzzer of the intercom rang loud into the room, startling us both. I rested my forehead against his. "Fucking bad timing..."

Jasper chuckled softly before pecking me on the lips and pushing me away so he could answer the door. "C'mon, darlin'. Let's get this party started."

While Jasper went to answer the door, I managed to finally get a few bottles of wine opened so they could breathe. When I was done, I walked into the living room to find Rosalie and Emmett talking to Felix. Apparently they'd arrived at the same time. Rosalie came over and gave me a hug and a kiss on my cheek, which I returned.

The buzzer sounded again, and this time I answered it, leaving Jasper to talk with the others. A minute later, Bella, Alice, Angela, and Ben showed up. I picked Bella up, hugging her as I swung her around, causing her to giggle. "Hey there, Birthday Girl!"

I blinked as a flash went off right in my eyes, and I stopped dead in my tracks. "Ah, what the hell, Alice? Careful where you point that thing!" I put Bella down gently, rubbing my eyes, trying to get the spots to stop.

Alice giggled and stood tippy toe to give me a kiss on the cheek. "Sorry, Edward, but that was a Kodak moment. You know it's tradition!" She waved her digital camera in front of her with a sly grin.

I groaned. "Yeah, alright, Alice. I know it's tradition and all...but you know I'm not fond of getting my picture taken much."

That last bit came out more as a whine, which caught Jasper's attention as he walked up to Bella, kissing her cheek. "Happy birthday, Bella." He looked at me and grinned slightly. "What was that about pictures?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Nothing. It's 'tradition' that whenever we get together with the gang for birthdays or special events, Alice takes tons of pictures, which she puts together in a scrapbook for us. She's done it for years, and there's no stopping her. The scrapbooks are her Christmas gifts to us every year."

Jasper looked around the small group and chuckled softly at the varying looks of acceptance and resignation he saw; when his eyes landed on Alice, he smirked. He walked up to her and leaned down to whisper in her ear. I couldn't tell what he said, but I was certain it wouldn't be anything good, given the way Alice's eyes lit up as she nodded in agreement. When he straightened up and looked at me, I raised my eyebrow in question, but he just shrugged.

I rolled my eyes, but any further response from me was cut off by the buzzer, indicating more arrivals. Within the span of five minutes, the rest of the team had arrived. It seemed like everyone had been able to make it, and Jasper had made sure that Bella was front and center for everyone to greet and wish her happy birthday - something I was sure she wouldn't be overly happy about but would tolerate.

I went to check on the lasagna, pulling the foil off of the dishes so the cheese could brown a little. As I was doing so, Jasper came in to check on things, and we worked together to assemble the salad, cut the breads, and put everything out on the table, including the flavored butters I had prepared earlier. I'd even gone so far as to make small signs to put with the butters, indicating what was in them - Blue Cheese, Rosemary, Garlic, Ginger/Peach, and Herb. I was fairly sure there'd be something there for everyone to enjoy.

Jasper had made several kinds of bread as well. There were a couple of focacia breads - Parmesan and rosemary. He'd made a couple of French breads as well. As Jasper finished setting everything on the table, I took out the lasagna dishes and set them to rest for a few minutes. Rosalie came in to ask if she could help, and I asked if she'd take some of the wine out to the table.

Emmett came in shortly after, and I had him grab one of the lasagna dishes and take it out. I took a moment to just breathe and regain some peace before heading back into the throng of people in my living room. I loved them all, but it was definitely new to have everyone congregated in my home like this. There was a reason we normally went out when getting together - there were so many of us, and some of the guys were a little...boisterous, especially when alcohol was involved.

Jasper came back into the kitchen and walked up to me, putting his hands on my hips. "You alright, darlin'?"

I smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just enjoying some peace and quiet before going in there again."

He chuckled before leaning in and kissing me tenderly. I closed my eyes, tilting my head a little as I kissed him back, putting my arms around his neck. We both startled at the flash that went off, and we looked over to see Alice with a triumphant grin. "Gotcha."

I looked from her to Jasper, worried about his reaction, but I was surprised to see an impish grin on his face as he blushed. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I looked back to Alice. "Why do I have the feeling I'd better get used to this tonight?"

Both Alice and Jasper feigned innocence as they looked back at me, and Alice chimed, "I don't know what you're talking about, Edward. Now come on, let's go enjoy the feast you two have been slaving over all day. We have a birthday to celebrate, after all, and it won't do to have you two hidden away in the kitchen."

She winked and turned on her heel, heading back to the others. I gave Jasper a peck on the lips and gathered the second lasagna dish up to take in. Jasper grinned as he walked ahead of me. As soon as all the food was on the table, Emmett put his fingers to his lips and gave a sharp whistle to get everyone's attention. "Yo! Food's up! Birthday Girl gets first dibs!"

He grinned at Bella, who blushed as she grabbed a plate, muttering under her breath. Soon everyone had a plate of food and a glass of wine and had found a seat somewhere. Conversations were flowing freely around us, and I took a moment to take it all in. I listened as Jasper, Felix, and Bella chatted about the upcoming games; Ben, Angela, Tyler, and Eric were all talking about something and laughing, though I couldn't tell what about. Rosalie and Emmett were sitting with Kirk, Demetri, and Vicky, and judging by the animated look on Emmett's face, I was sure cars had to be involved.

Alice was flitting around, taking pictures, pausing now and again to actually eat a few bites. Jasper was sitting on the floor against my legs, and I smiled down at him as he looked up, asking if I wanted anything. I shook my head, and he got up, took my plate, and walked into the kitchen. Bella and Felix both looked at me with a grin, and I couldn't help but grin back even as I rolled my eyes at them.

Once everyone was done eating and the left over food had been put away, it was time for presents. Bella had been put center stage in the chair-and-a-half with Angela sitting on one arm and Felix hovering on the other side. Jasper and I sat on the couch together along with Emmett and Rosalie. The others had found seats on the floor or on the love seat. We each gave Bella our gifts in turn, and I chuckled as I watched her blush deepen. She'd never been able to control that reaction, and she hated it, but I had to admit it was cute.

When Jasper got up to give her our present, he kissed her cheek, whispering something in her ear. She smiled brightly in response and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him to her as she whispered something back. He blushed, handed her the envelope, and sat back down with me. I put my arm on the back of the couch, my thumb caressing the back of his neck.

He flashed his eyes to me briefly before turning to look at Bella again. She opened the envelope gingerly and gasped as she took out the voucher. She looked at us both with her mouth open, trying to speak. She finally gave a small squeak, got up, and all but ran over to us, hugging us both and kissing our cheeks. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! You really shouldn't have! But thank you!"

Jasper and I both laughed, hugging her back. When she sat back down, she gazed down at the voucher again, a look of awe on her face. After a minute, Felix nudged her side and grumbled, "Well! Are you going to tell the rest of us what got you so excited? What did they get you?"

Bella grinned from ear to ear as she looked at Felix, waving the voucher in front of her. "They got me a culinary weekend getaway! Cooking classes, tasting, a tour of the local market...they even got me a flight!"

I grinned at her excitement. Felix turned to us with wide eyes. "How on earth did you come up with that?"

Jasper chuckled and explained that we'd been trying to find something last Sunday but weren't having any luck. "Then Edward pointed to a sign advertising trips like that at the travel agency we were walking past. We figured it was something 'Bella' and made all the arrangements."

Felix, Ben, and Emmett all gave a low whistle, while Rose scrambled to her feet to look over Bella's shoulder, her eyes wide as she read everything that was included. She scowled at Jasper. "Damn, Jazzie, why don't I ever get cool gifts like that from you, hmm?"

Jasper chuckled, shrugging. "Like you didn't love the NASCAR trip last year."

I looked from one sibling to the other, not quite sure what to make of things, before Rosalie's lips twitched. She turned to Emmett and pointed at him. "You, take notes." She then gestured to Jasper and me with a wink.

Emmett laughed as he got up, grabbed Rosalie, and lifted her in a bear hug. "Yes ma'am!"

He kissed her soundly on the lips, and after he pulled away with a big grin, she actually giggled and blushed as he put her down again. I glanced at Jasper, who sat watching it all with great amusement. I heard Felix whisper loudly, "Bitten bad, man..." as he shook his head at Emmett.

I chuckled softly as I leaned in and whispered to Jasper, "I know the feeling. Must be something about you Hales."

I grinned, kissing his cheek, noting the faint blush on it as I did so. Jasper leaned a little further into me, and I put my arm around his shoulder, squeezing it lightly. I wasn't paying attention to anything other than him until I saw his eyes flicker around and his blush deepen. I looked up and saw several people - Emmett, Rosalie, Bella, Alice, Angela, and Felix - watching us, each of them wearing a knowing smirk.

Felix looked at Jasper, raised his glass, and nodded at him, winking. Jasper nodded back as he put his hand on my knee and started talking to Rosalie. I looked at Felix, giving him a nod and a grateful smile. He just grinned back, winked at me, and then started talking with Bella.

The next few hours were spent talking, laughing, and even singing. Bella insisted that Jasper and I play for her, so we agreed on the condition that everyone had to join in as best they could. Emmett even grabbed a guitar as well and played along with a few of the songs. Around ten, Alice piped up, saying it was time for cake. Jasper and I both went to get it as it was a large sheet cake, and we lit the candles in the kitchen.

We carefully placed it on the table, and we all sang "Happy Birthday" to Bella, Alice clicking away furiously as Bella blew out the candles. Once everyone had procured a slice of cake, we resumed the easy conversation. Jasper, Bella, and I were standing together, a little away from everyone. She was thanking us again for having the party here and catering for everyone. Carefully balancing my plate, I put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed her to my side, kissing the crown of her head lightly. "It was our pleasure, Bella."

I looked over her head at Jasper, who nodded. I frowned slightly as I noted his thoughtful expression. "Baby, is everything okay?"

Jasper's gaze went from Bella to me and then around to the others before settling back on the birthday girl. "Bella, I wanted to thank you, too. For including me. I know this isn't how you normally celebrate your birthday." His eyes flickered to mine, but I couldn't tell what was going through his mind before he looked back at Bella again. "What would you say to ending the evening by going out after all?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his eyes shifting from Bella's to mine. I was stunned. _Is he serious? _He nodded slightly, his voice low as he spoke, "I think it'd be nice to all go out... and I kinda like the idea of dancin' with you, darlin'."

Bella pulled away from me and pushed me forward with a muttered, "Talk," before walking over to Alice. Putting my plate down, I grabbed Jasper's and placed it next to mine before taking his hand and pulling him to our room. I closed the door behind us, and I couldn't help but take a deep breath at the instant quiet that surrounded us. I turned to look at him, cupping his face in my hands as I searched his eyes.

He covered my hands with his own as I asked, "Are you sure, Jasper? I'd love to go out and dance with you, but ..."

"But, nothing, Edward. I want to do this, and I won't let my issues get in the way of you or my friends anymore. Bella changing her plans just for me...it meant a lot. It was a gift to me, and I know why she did it." He sighed softly before wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into a hug, resting his head on my shoulder as he continued, "Darlin', tonight I don't want to think about what might happen after this weekend is over. I want to celebrate my friend's birthday and be with my boyfriend, dance with him. We've had a great week, and I will not let what ever fears I might have spoil that."

I wrapped my arms around him tightly, nuzzling his neck as I listened. I tried to speak, but my throat had tightened, and it took me a minute before I found my voice again."You never cease to amaze me, Jazz." I pressed my lips against his neck and smiled. "If Bella is up for moving the party, then I would love to take you out for a spin on the dance floor."

He hugged me tight for a moment before pulling back, smiling. "Thanks, darlin'." He paused as if considering something and grinned. "Though I'm not entirely sure how that'll work. Haven't exactly danced with many guys before."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "_That_ you're worried about...?"

He just shrugged and grinned. "Nah, not really."

Pecking his lips, I opened the door and gestured for him to go first, giving him a cocky grin as if to say 'ladies first'. His response was to sashay through the door and burst out laughing as he did so, shaking his head. I followed him back to the living room, both of us laughing as I put my arm around his waist and fell into step with him. I looked around to find Bella and called out as I spotted her across the room, standing by Felix, Ben and Angela, "Bella! What do you say?"

She looked at us, tilting her head slightly before grinning. "I'm game! Hey everyone...want to go watch me embarrass myself on the dance floor, step on some toes?"

She giggled at the various reactions, ranging from groans about being the one stepped on to enthusiastic hoots. We decided that the gang would meet up at the club, while Rosalie and Emmett stayed behind to help Jasper and me clean up enough so that things wouldn't spoil or be too difficult to clean if we were gone for a long time. As we were heading out the door to catch the others, Rosalie's phone rang, so we hung back, knowing that if she got in the elevator, she'd lose the signal.

She sighed as she hung up and walked up to Jasper. "That was Momma; she wanted to let us know that their flight was delayed and asked if I could still pick them up when they arrive. She said she'd call, as they have no idea when _that_'ll be. So I may have to leave before the party is over."

Jasper frowned as he nodded. "Sure thing. Are they alright?"

Emmett slipped an arm around Rose's shoulders as she nodded. "Yeah, they were already boarded. She said something about another plane being stuck on the runway they were already in line for, so they're waiting, I guess... didn't quite get what was going on. She wasn't speaking very loud; I don't think she was supposed to be on the phone."

She winked at Jasper, who chuckled. "Sounds like Momma. At least they're okay. Shall we head out?"

Emmett had called a cab while we were cleaning, and it stood waiting for us in front of the building. It took about ten minutes before we arrived at the club, where Eric was standing outside, smoking. He grinned and stubbed out his cigarette as we walked up to him. "There you guys are. The others are already inside, but I figured I'd wait for you all to show up and join us. Give me a chance to smoke, since you have that strict 'no-smoking policy' at your place."

He smacked my shoulder lightly as I chuckled. "And I appreciate you sticking to it."

He rolled his eyes as we were let through and paid our admission. Luna Nueva had been our go-to place for hanging out as a group for years, and I smiled at the familiar faces I spotted behind the bar. The place was impressive with its dark furnishings, candles, and the fireplace. It was the perfect setting to hang out in a large group while still having the intimate feeling of being in someone's home.

We found a place to sit close to the fireplace, ordered some drinks, and most of us just continued talking for a little while, though Ben, Angela, Vicki, and Tyler all ventured onto the dance floor.

The place was relatively quiet still, which lent itself well to talking. Alice and Bella were discussing the weekend getaway we'd given her, and I smiled at Jasper as I listened. After we'd all finished our first round of drinks, we all got up to dance. No one partnered, we just had fun as a group, though I made sure to stay close to Jasper, figuring that this would be more comfortable for him for the time being.

The place started to fill up, and after a couple more dances, we all decided to take a break to get another round of drinks. When we went back to our seats, Jasper and I sat next to each other, our legs touching. I smiled at him as I put a hand on his knee, squeezing it lightly as I leaned in so he could hear me. "Enjoying yourself?"

He smiled that impish smile that made my heart beat faster as he nodded. "Yeah, this place is great. I'm glad we came, especially since Bella seems to be having a great time."

I turned to look at Bella, who had her head tilted back and was laughing at something Felix had said. Her face was flushed, her smile broad, and she looked like she was having the time of her life. For all her clumsiness, she enjoyed going out and loved to dance. Her enthusiasm for life was something I had always found endearing. She looked over at me with a raised eyebrow, so I winked at her, grinning. She giggled, rolled her eyes, and turned her attention back to whatever Felix was talking about.

After a while, Felix grabbed Bella's hand and led her to the dance floor. I felt Jasper get up, grabbing my hand as he pulled me to my feet. I smirked at him as he led the way to where Bella and Felix were dancing. Emmett and Rose were not far behind us, and we all paired off, dancing close together. I put my hands on Jasper's hips as we moved to the music, my eyes fixed on his to gauge his reaction. He looked at me with a grin as he put a hand on my shoulder, his eyes alight as we danced. I was happy that he seemed to be having such a good time.

We danced like that for a while, stealing a kiss every now and then when one of us got caught up in the music and the movement of our bodies. I caught the glances Emmett and Felix gave me, both of them wiggling their eyebrows suggestively at times, which made me roll my eyes. _They're as bad as each other. _

Bella excused herself, saying she needed to go to the restroom, and Felix decided to join Emmett and Rosalie. I kept my eye on Bella, knowing that, at times, the guys in the club could get grabby, and I wanted to be able to intervene if needed. She had to push through a group of five guys, but none of them paid her much attention, as their focus was on the dance floor...and, I thought, _us_. I frowned, not sure I liked the feeling I was getting, but I shook it off. We were in a large group, and the bouncers here kept a good eye on things, usually.

Emmett, Felix, Jasper, and I decided to grab the next round of drinks as soon as Bella returned. She and Rosalie walked back to the rest of the group, chatting away as they went. I noticed the same group of guys standing by the bar; I tried to get a place to wait for our drinks as far away from them as I could, but there wasn't much room. As we stood waiting for the bartender to take our order, I could hear parts of their conversation drifting towards us. They were drunk, and I tried to block them out, but without too much success.

"... they thinking..."

"...fucking fags..."

"...ought to teach them respect..."

I frowned and chanced a glance at Jasper. He'd heard. It was obvious by the sudden stiffness in his posture. I squeezed his hand and whispered to him, "Ignore them."

I had gotten somewhat used to stuff like this happening over the years, but this was all new territory for him, and I was worried about how he would take it. He nodded, but his posture didn't change. _I'm sorry, Jasper..._

The bartender finally got around to us, and as soon as we got our drinks, we headed back to the others, who had been watching us. I noticed that Tyler, Eric, and Ben were standing, their arms folded across their chests.

I shook my head at them as I handed them their drinks, and they relaxed somewhat, taking their seats again. We all sat and chatted for a while, Emmett and Felix both lightening the mood by telling embarrassing stories of previous nights out with everyone. Jasper, who had remained tense even after rejoining the group, started to loosen up again and, after a while, was laughing right along with everyone else.

Bella insisted Jasper dance with her, and Emmett, Rosalie, Felix, and Vicky joined them. I decided to just sit this one out as I tried to keep an eye out for the men from earlier, but I could not find them. I was hoping they had finally left. I looked at my watch, noting it was already around one in the morning, and I was beginning to feel tired. It had been a long day, and I wondered if Jasper would mind if we went home soon.

After another song, the others came back from dancing. I smiled at Jasper as I grabbed his hand, pulling him down next to me. I leaned into him so he could hear me without my having to raise my voice too much. "You about ready to go home? It's been a long day."

He nodded, squeezing my hand. "Sure, darlin', let me just go to the restroom before we head out. Won't be long."

He pressed his lips lightly to mine, and I smiled against them. _One more night of just us. _We'd agreed that since we were out this late, and his parents weren't home yet anyway, he'd stay one more night before heading back. _Maybe after this weekend, if things go well, we can talk about figuring something else out. I hate the idea of not being able to fall asleep with him every night._

I watched him walk through the crowd but soon lost sight of him. I sat back in my seat with a sigh, catching Bella's eye. She grinned and leaned into me. "I'm glad to see you so happy, Edward. You two are good for each other."

With that, she kissed my cheek and giggled as she saw me blush a little. I smiled. "Thanks, Bells."

I pulled her into a hug but soon was interrupted by someone yelling my name. I let go of Bella and turned around, my eyes landing on a frantic looking Angela as she pushed her way through to us. I got up and hurried over to her, grabbing her by the shoulders. She looked panicked and was having trouble getting out a coherent sentence. "Edward! Jasper... just saw him... emergency exit...hurry!"

_What the hell?_ I had a really bad feeling, which wasn't helped by her turning me to the restrooms and giving me a push. Emmett, Felix, Rosalie, and Bella were hot on my heels as I hurried to where Angela had directed me, and I was sure that Ben would take care of Angela and hopefully alert the staff to whatever was going on.

When I opened the door of the emergency exit, I felt my heart trying to jump out of my throat at the sight before me. Two of the guys had Jasper by each arm, holding him while one other was landing punch after punch to his gut, his face, his chest. Two others stood to the side, yelling obscenities and various derogatory slurs, I'm sure, but my mind wasn't able to filter through them.

"Shit! Jasper!"

Felix and Emmett ran past me, shouldering me out of the way. I was aware of the sounds of their cursing and fists meeting flesh, but I had eyes only for the man I loved...the man who crumpled to the ground as soon as the two intolerant bastards holding him up let him drop to defend themselves.

I didn't know how long it took for the bouncers to break up the fight. I sat on the ground, cradling Jasper in my arms as the sounds of fighting surrounded us. Jasper clung to me as I rocked with him, and all I could hear myself say was, "I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry..." Jasper was trying to comfort _me_, telling me he was okay, but we were still little more than a useless tangle on the ground by the time the police arrived.

Jasper was pressing his shirt sleeve to his lip, which was split and bleeding; the cut he'd received over his eye was also bleeding, and I finally came to my senses enough to pull my sleeve down and press it against the wound as best as I was able. He was clutching his ribs with his other arm but otherwise appeared to be alright, as far as I was able to tell. Though this didn't mean much, given where we were.

Slowly, my senses began to take in what was going on around us. I heard Bella cursing loudly, which caught my attention, and when I looked up, she was cradling her hand to her chest. I looked around and saw that Emmett and Felix were still upright, though both looked very disheveled, and Felix had the makings of a black eye going.

Rosalie came over to where Jasper and I sat and knelt down beside him, her hand hovering over the wounds, as if wanting to check them but not daring to touch him. She whispered, her voice shaky with emotion, and probably adrenaline, "Jazzie...?"

He gingerly moved the arm that was clutching his chest, taking her hand in his. "I'm fine, Rosie. Well, not _fine_ obviously." He pulled his sleeve away from his lip, testing to see if the bleeding had stopped, which it had. "But I'll be alright."

He frowned as he turned to look at me. "How did you know?" His voice was quiet and a little shaky.

I kissed his temple. "Angela saw them take you outside and came to warn us."

He nodded, shifting a little and wincing as he did so. The EMT's had arrived and started checking everyone out. Only one ambulance had been dispatched, and one of the guys who had beaten up Jasper was being taken away in it. When they began to call in for another ambulance for Jasper, he refused, saying he could get to the hospital under his own power. They made him sign a refusal form before they left.

The police were asking everyone what had happened, taking statements. After the ambulance left, they took a little while longer to get final statements from everyone and told us to stop by the station in the morning to sign them. Jasper would also have to let them know what his injuries were, so they could file the proper charges against the men who had attacked him.

Felix, Bella, and Emmett needed to go to the ER as well, and the others decided to come with us, so we wouldn't be alone as we waited. They felt horrible about what had happened, I was sure, and wanted to make sure we were all okay.

After those of us who needed treatment had been signed in and triaged, we were left waiting in the waiting room. It was a relatively quiet night, but the wait was still long. We all sat together. Felix and Bella sat next to each other. Emmett had taken a seat to the left of Jasper and pulled Rosalie into his lap, and I sat on Jasper's other side, my arm around his shoulders. I was careful not to hurt him, but I needed the contact, and the way he pressed against my side told me he did as well.

Jasper was very quiet and kept shooting glances at Bella, frowning. I wasn't sure what was going through his mind, until he finally lifted his head and spoke to her in a soft voice, "Bella? I'm sorry for ruining your birthday like this. I..."

"What the hell, Jasper?" Bella was furious, and her eyes flashed when she looked at him. "Don't you _dare _apologize for this! You didn't ask those bigots to beat you up. This," she held her injured hand up as she continued, "isn't your fault! If anything, it's my own for clocking the bastard that was hitting you."

Jasper blinked, swallowing hard before answering, "Thanks, Bella."

She got up and carefully hugged him, letting go after a little while. She kissed both our cheeks, murmuring she'd be just fine before sitting back down with Felix and quietly talking to him.

I leaned a little closer to Jasper, pressing my lips to his temple. "Don't worry about the others, baby. Everyone's going to be fine. I'm more concerned about you right now...make sure nothing's broken or anything." _I just need you to be alright. _It was _my_ fault we were here, if I had said 'no' to going out, none of this would've happened. I wasn't sure how he was doing, he was so quiet.

Jasper leaned toward me, his shoulder resting against my chest as his right hand came up to cup my right cheek. My left arm was around his shoulders, my fingers gently stroking his upper arm in an attempt to comfort him. I rested my cheek against the top of his head, and we sat that way for the longest time. No one said anything further, each of us lost in our own thoughts.

Eventually Jasper stirred, shifting slightly in his seat as he lowered his hand from my cheek to my thigh. He murmured softly, "I love you," as he settled back against me with a sigh.

Someone gasped loudly somewhere to my right, and I started to turn around when I felt Jasper stiffen next to me.

* * *

**A/N: **First of. Please don't kill me. If you do, I won't be able to continue writing, and you'll never know what happens next ^_~

I do not like that this happened, either. However, it is something that does happen, and this is their story.

Don't worry, I still love my boys, and I am working hard to get the next chapter to you at the beginning of next year at the latest.

On another note, I entered a contest (http://www (.) fanfiction (.) net/~whosunderyourtree), you can find my entry here:

http://www (.) fanfiction (.) net/s/5561728/1/All_I_Want_For_Christmas

I hope you will read it, as well as the other stories and cast your votes between Christmas and January 4th.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Thanks to SorceressCirce & JayceStorm for being my beta-fish and for letting me pick your brains. ^_~**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. These boys completely own me, though.  
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Jasper leaned toward me, his shoulder resting against my chest as his right hand came up to cup my right cheek. My left arm was around his shoulders, my fingers gently stroking his upper arm in an attempt to comfort him. I rested my cheek against the top of his head, and we sat that way for the longest time. No one said anything further, each of us lost in our own thoughts._

_Eventually Jasper stirred, shifting slightly in his seat as he lowered his hand from my cheek to my thigh. He murmured softly, "I love you," as he settled back against me with a sigh._

_Someone gasped loudly somewhere to my right, and I started to turn around when I felt Jasper stiffen next to me._

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**JPOV**

I heard someone gasp, and I turned my head to see what was going on. The sight that met my eyes made my heart clench, and I froze in my seat.

Momma stood not two feet away from us, to our right and slightly behind our seats, with a hand clasped to her mouth, her eyes full of shock and sadness.

My gaze reluctantly went to the person right behind her. Dad. He stood - rigid - his hand on Momma's shoulder, his jaw set and his eyes... I'd never seen him look like that before. The look in his eyes, the pure, unadulterated disgust...hatred? Not even the men who - not hours before - had tried to 'teach me a lesson' for being who I was had looked at me like that.

I was frozen in my seat and only vaguely aware of the people around me. I could feel Edward turn around to see what was going on, but other than that, all my attention was on my father. _Why are they here? Why now? Oh, God... _

I swallowed hard as Dad straightened up further still and took a step back. My eyes shifted to Momma, who looked at me with tears swimming in her eyes. "Momma...?"

I stood slowly; not even fully aware of what I was doing, I moved to her but stopped as she shrank back against Dad. _Shit._ I was starting to feel sick to my stomach. This couldn't be happening. Not here. Not now. Running my fingers through my hair, I looked over to Rose. Her face was drawn, all color drained from her features as she looked from our parents to me.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath - wincing at the stabbing pain from my ribs - before turning back to look at them. I felt Edward standing behind me, not quite touching, but close enough that I could feel the heat coming off his body. I was afraid to turn around and see his reaction, so I kept my eyes forward as I addressed my father, my voice sounding strained. "Dad, what..."

Anything else I might have wanted to say died in my throat as I saw his eyes flash with anger, his nostrils flaring as he growled out, "Not. A. Word."

I blanched, my eyes flickering to Rosalie before looking back at him. Momma turned her face away, unable to look at me; the sight of her turning away from me made my stomach clench. Dad continued to speak through gritted teeth, his voice brimming with contempt and venom, "So _thi_s is who you've been spending your time with, Jasper? The 'special person' you were wanting to introduce to us this weekend...is _him?_" He jabbed a finger toward Edward as he spoke, and the gesture was like a knife straight through my heart.

I nodded, my voice barely a whisper, "Yes, Sir." I was too stunned by just how hostile he was to answer any differently. Edward put his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it to let me know he was there. _Oh God, Edward, I'm so sorry..._

Dad's eyes narrowed as he took in how close we stood, and that Edward was trying to support me, comfort me. His eyes shifted to Rosalie, his jaw clenching several times before he spoke, "And you _knew_?"

He didn't even allow her the chance to speak up but continued on, directing his words at me once more, each syllable deliberate and strained. "I do not know you. No son of mine..." he paused, taking a deep breath as he glared at us. He drew himself up, squaring his shoulders as his eyes grew colder. Any recognition, any fatherly affection I'd ever seen directed toward me was gone, replaced by absolute hatred and disgust. "I will not stand for this. I will not have a fucking _fag _for a son." Those last words were practically a growl as he spat them at me.

I cringed at his words. The men who had beaten me had called me that as well, that and worse, but it was nothing. Nothing compared to hearing the words coming out of my father's mouth, directed at me; nothing compared to hearing the finality in his voice and knowing that all I was to him now was a _fucking fag_. Edward's grip tightened slightly on my shoulder. Momma had closed her eyes as Daddy was speaking, and I noticed tears streaking down her face. 

_God, no... please no..._

My worst nightmares appeared to be coming true, right in front of my eyes as I saw my father put his arm around Momma's shoulders and start to walk back the way they had come. I blinked rapidly, fighting the tears that were stinging my eyes as I stepped forward, my hand reaching out for them as I choked out, "Daddy, please!"

He turned around, though Momma kept her back to me as he spoke, his voice low and menacing, "I _have _no son. Do not come home. I will not allow you to disgrace my home again!"

With that, he turned around, and he and Momma left the ER. I watched them walk out of my life, and the pain of it was worse than any punch or kick I had received that night. _They hate me. _I felt Edward's arms around my waist at the same moment my knees buckled, and he helped me slowly to the floor. I couldn't hear anything, other than my father's words running over and over in my head. _"I have no son."_

My hands went to my hair, gripping it tightly as I looked up at the ceiling, without seeing anything. My eyes were too blurry from the tears that pooled in them. I shut my eyes tightly, stupidly thinking that when I opened them, none of this would have happened. Edward and I would be home, alone, and none of it - not the guys from the club, nor my parents walking in on us in the ER - would have happened.

I lowered my head, wrapping my arms around my chest as I became aware of the pain emanating from my ribs. I vaguely wondered why, before realizing that I was shaking. I felt Rosalie's hands as she placed them on my cheeks and lifted my face to hers, and I had to focus to hear what she was saying. "Jasper, I'm so sorry. Momma called while we were on our way to the ER, and I told her you'd been hurt. I told her you would be okay, for them to just take a cab home because I wasn't going to make it to the airport. I didn't know they'd come here, Jazzie. I'm so, so sorry."

Unable to find my voice, I could only nod. She had knelt down and wrapped her arms around me awkwardly, since Edward was still holding onto me as well. He hadn't said a single word as far as I was aware, and I was beginning to worry about how he had taken everything, scared that my parents' reaction would put him off and send him on his way, just like in my nightmare.

After a couple of minutes, I just couldn't stand it anymore and had to look at him, had to see his face, his reaction. As I started to turn around, Rosalie let me go and went back to Emmett, who had been standing close to us. I warily looked at Edward, taking in the set of his clenched jaw and the frownlines marring his forehead. When I looked into his eyes, I could see anger and hurt there, and it nearly floored me, knowing that he was hurting because of me. Again.

He looked into my eyes, his hand slowly - hesitantly - coming to rest on my cheek. I took in a wavering breath, averting my eyes from his when he didn't say anything. _Please not him, too. _I felt him pull me closer to him, his arms wrapping around my shoulders now as he whispered softly in my ear, "I'm here, Jasper. I love you."

I stifled a sob as I heard him, wrapping my arms tight around him, fists clenching his shirt. I wanted to tell him I loved him, too, but I couldn't find my voice, so I just nestled my face into his neck, taking in deep breaths of his scent as I tried to calm myself down, though every breath I took felt as if I was being stabbed.

We sat like that for a few minutes before he pulled away slowly to look at me again. He gave me a tentative smile as he placed his hand on my neck, his thumb resting in front of my ear. "Come on; let's get you off of this floor and onto a chair. This can't be comfortable for you with those ribs."

I nodded and got to my feet slowly. As I did, I became aware of everyone else around me, and I groaned in humiliation. Everyone had been privy to the exchange between my parents and me, and my falling apart afterward. I closed my eyes briefly before letting Edward guide me to a chair - I kept my eyes focused on the floor, unwilling to look at anyone and see the pity I was sure would be on their faces.

I'd just taken my seat when my name was called by the nurse. I got up, grabbing Edward's hand in mine and looked at Rose, who nodded in understanding. Emmett pulled her a little closer to him as I turned to follow the nurse.

The next few hours went by in somewhat of a blur. They'd taken x-rays to make sure my ribs weren't broken - they weren't, just bruised - stitched up my cuts, and taken numerous pictures to catalog all my wounds. I didn't really pay much attention, my thoughts on a never-ending loop of the night. I was aware of Edward being by my side through it all, and I answered questions when asked. Edward had the doctor repeat the care instructions, but I was at the point of not really caring anymore. I just wanted to go home - to go to bed and just have this day end.

We stayed long enough to make sure everyone else was alright. Emmett also had a few cuts and bruises, though he was able to get away without getting stitches. Felix's eye was now almost shut, and the doctor had told him to be mindful since he had a minor concussion. Bella had managed to break her hand and was let go with a cast. She was less than happy, as it meant she'd be out of the upcoming games.

We said our goodbyes quickly after that; I was anxious to go home, feeling uncomfortable and exposed around everyone. We drove home in silence, and when we finally got back to his apartment, I made a beeline for the bedroom, got undressed, and slid in the bed. I rolled on my side, wincing in pain before curling up into a ball and pulling the covers over me. I pulled the pillow up partially and pressed my face into it to muffle my cries as I finally was able to let go.

Everything that had happened from the moment we left for the club played itself over and over in my mind. My body was shaking as I sobbed, feeling the sting of the words Dad had spoken as keenly as the sharp pains in my ribs. I had been right. All those years ago, I had been right about how he would react - that I would lose my family if I stayed with Edward. I would never be able to forget the look on their faces tonight.

I could not have chosen differently this time though. In my heart of hearts, I knew I could not have given him up again. _Why does loving him have to come at that high a price? Why can't they just accept him? Accept _me_?_

I felt Edward climb into bed with me; he curled his body around mine, slipping his arm around my waist and hugging me close to him. He pressed his lips to my shoulder and neck several times but didn't speak, just letting me know that he was there. We lay like that for a long time before I finally drifted off to an uneasy sleep.

When I woke up the following morning, it took me a moment to realize why I was stiff and hurting all over. My ribs protested as I tried to stretch out, and I turned around gingerly, only to find the bed empty. A hollow feeling had settled in my chest, and all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball again and hide. I didn't want to get up, didn't want to deal with what had happened.

I'd just pulled the covers back over my head and curled up, trying to fall back asleep again, when I heard the door open quietly. The sound of footsteps came closer, and I could smell coffee. I felt the mattress dip next to me as something - presumably the coffee - was put down on the nightstand. I made no move to acknowledge whoever was with me, not even when I felt a hand placed gently on my arm.

Edward sighed softly, shaking me a little in an effort to rouse me. "It's time to get up, baby."

My only response was to turn my head deeper into my pillow and try to keep the tears at bay. Part of me wanted to just be left alone; another part wanted nothing more than to have him crawl into bed with me and hold me. I could not reconcile the two, so I just lay there. He leaned over, his head resting against my shoulder, his voice low as he spoke, "Jazz, you have to get up. We have to go to the police station to sign our statements and give them the photographs." He paused as he took a deep breath to steady himself. "I am so sorry, baby."

I turned around, mindful of my ribs, and faced him then. He looked up at me, his eyes filled with sadness, pain, and something I couldn't readily identify. "Why? You did nothing wrong; why should you apologize for anything?"

He sighed, lowering his eyes briefly as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "If it weren't for me...if we'd not gone..."

He couldn't seem to finish his thoughts, let alone his sentence. I rubbed my face with my hands, taking in a deep breath - regretting it instantly as pain seared through my chest - before looking at him. "Edward...what are you saying? You saw what happened, how my dad reacted. Do you think he'd not have done that if we'd gone on Sunday as planned?"

He looked away; for a moment it felt as if he were turning away from me, and the thought of that stung. I put my hand on his thigh, squeezing it. "I'm the one that's sorry, Edward. I shouldn't have asked you to come with me. I know the point is moot now, since obviously lunch tomorrow is off. I just..."

My throat constricted as tears threatened, and I had to swallow hard before I could speak again, though my voice was barely a whisper, "I can't lose you, too. I love you, Edward. What happened yesterday...none of that changes how I feel. No matter how much it hurts..." My voice broke with a small sob, the tears rolling down my face and onto the pillow. I closed my eyes, focusing on trying to keep my breathing even.

There was no response from Edward, and I couldn't help but worry that maybe what happened yesterday had changed things for him. After a minute, I felt the bed shift as Edward climbed on top of me, straddling my thighs and resting his elbows on either side of me to keep his weight off of me. As I opened my eyes, I found his face inches above mine, his eyes searching mine as he spoke, his voice hoarse with emotion, "Jazz, I'm not going anywhere. I'm where I want to be, baby." His lips grazed over mine briefly before he continued, "I love you, too."

He sighed as I ran my fingers through his hair, my eyes fixed on his, "I just hate that you're hurting, baby."

Nodding, I whispered, "I know, darlin'."

He leaned in, kissing me softly before pulling away with a frown. He shifted his weight a little, freeing one hand. He lifted his fingers to my lips, barely brushing over them, lingering over the stitches as he sighed. "I wish I could take it all away..."

His eyes - which had been following his fingers tracing my lips - flicked back to mine. His brow was furrowed as he seemed to think about something. He lifted off of me, settling down on his side next to me. His hand cupped my cheek, his eyes never leaving mine. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before speaking. "Jasper... this wasn't how I wanted to do this... I mean... I was going to ask you, but now..."

He stumbled over his words, growing frustrated with his inability to just get it out. He started to blush slightly and cleared his throat to begin again, his voice barely audible, "Jazz...would you...move in with me?"

He bit his lip, watching me carefully, his thumb caressing my cheekbone as he waited for me to speak. I stared at him for a while, searching for answers to questions I wasn't even sure I really knew. I covered the hand on my cheek with my own, whispering, "You mean that? You were really going to ask...?"

He nodded. "Yeah... after this last week... I can't stand the thought of not being with you, not falling asleep with you or waking up next to you. I just wasn't sure how to bring it up. I was worried it might be too soon for you."

Neither of us spoke for a while, just watching the other as he let me think things over. I knew that, despite Dad throwing me out, I wasn't without means to get a place of my own, but did I _want_ that? If I was honest with myself, I knew that during this past week, I'd come to feel more at home here than I had ever felt...anywhere. I remembered the other day when the thought had struck so clearly that Edward was my home, as corny as that might sound.

I pulled his hand to my lips, placing a soft kiss on his pulse point on his wrist, my eyes never leaving his as I whispered, "Edward, there's nowhere I'd rather live than here with you."

The smile that spread across his face was catching, and I couldn't help but return it. He leaned in, placing a tender kiss on my lips. I put my hand on the back of his neck, threading my fingers in his hair as I kept his lips pressed to mine, returning his kiss fervently. His hesitation lasted only a split second before he responded in kind. His fingers trailed over my arm, to my side, moving slowly - almost reverently - back and forth as we continued.

I tilted my head just enough to deepen our kiss, slipping my tongue in between his lips. He groaned softly into my mouth, our tongues caressing, exploring. Everything was momentarily forgotten. Nothing existed but Edward, me, and this bed. I needed to feel him - be connected to him - so badly; his hand had come to rest on my hip, kneading it lightly, and I just wanted him to move, to do something.

My ribs were starting to hurt, but I ignored the pain as best as I could. I tugged lightly on the strands of hair my fingers were tangled in, eliciting another groan from him. I moved away from his lips, using the leverage I had on him to shift his head to the side enough for me to move to his neck, nipping and kissing as I went. Before I knew it, Edward finally moved his hand, shifting it to my back as he pulled me to him in an attempt to pull our bodies flush.

I let out a gasp, releasing my hold on him completely to wrap my arms around my torso instead as I rolled onto my back, trying to just breathe without making the pain worse. I saw Edward bolt upright, hovering at my side. "Shit! Baby, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.... I didn't mean..."

Edward looked horrified that he had hurt me. It took a few tries before I was able to speak, "Shh, darlin'. It's okay...I'm fine, just...give me a minute."

He heaved a sigh, running his hand over his face as he tried to compose himself. He watched me for a short moment before getting up and walking to the bathroom. When he came back, he held out a glass of water and some ibuprofen. "Here, take these, Jazz."

I sat up gingerly, took the offered water, and downed it along with the ibuprofen, putting the glass next to the coffee cup. I reached out my hand to him, and when he took it in his, I gently pulled him down to sit on the bed next to me. "It's probably better things didn't go any further right now anyway, darlin'," I sighed. "As you said, we have to get to the PD, and I'd rather get that shit over with sooner, as opposed to later."

He nodded, running his fingers through my hair with a soft sigh. "Yeah," he smiled ruefully at me, "I can understand that." He glanced over at the coffee, which had turned cold. "Do you want me to get you a fresh cup?"

I shook my head. "Nah, somehow I don't think I'll be needing caffeine to keep me awake right now, darlin'." I chuckled, but stopped short at the stabbing in my ribs. _Damn it all!_

It took a lot longer than normal for me to get ready. Edward ended up helping me take a shower - something that I could have done alone, but was in no mood to argue when he pointed out my limited range of motion. He made sure to take care of me, and I admit that I actually enjoyed the attention he was giving me. His tender touches were loving but not sexual, something I wouldn't have minded, though I knew he wouldn't want to risk hurting me again.

His special care touched me deeply, making me feel adored and wanted, but the reason it was necessary plagued my mind. I realized I was slipping away, becoming more distant, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. Edward talked, and I answered, but it was more to keep him from becoming alarmed than out of any real desire for conversation. When we stepped out of the shower, he helped dry me off, and I nodded numbly when he held out the clothes he'd chosen for me.

I felt disconnected, hardly myself, the whole time Edward helped me dress and drove to the PD. I was having a hard time focusing, the nagging pain in my ribs ensuring that images from last night kept replaying in my mind. Fists punching, feet kicking, mouths growling out insults and slurs - naming me things I hadn't even considered myself to be a few short months ago. Through it all, I saw the disgust and rage in my father's eyes - and the hurt and disappointment in my mother's.

At the PD, I made my statement and signed my forms. I turned over pictures and answered questions. It was all very sterile, very cold...so unlike the heated emotions that had caused this catastrophe.

Before I knew it, we were back home. As we walked through the door, I stopped and looked around the apartment. Despite the cleaning we had done before leaving for the club, there was still evidence visible of the party. I felt Edward slip by me as he closed the door behind us, careful not to bump into me. He stepped behind me again, wrapping his arms around my waist as he rested his chin on my shoulder. Neither of us spoke, my thoughts a whirl, wondering how things could have gone so wrong, so quickly.

Only yesterday, everything had been fine; we'd been happy and whole. We were celebrating, and it had felt good to be around people and be open. Now, I knew that being open could come at a price. I sighed as Edward pressed his lips to my neck, just behind my ear, before asking me if I wanted something to eat. I hadn't had anything yet today, but I honestly wasn't hungry. Food held no interest to me, so I just shook my head.

He sighed softly, running his hands over my arms. "Maybe you should go lie down, take a nap? I know you didn't sleep well, baby..."

His voice trailed off as I nodded. "Yeah, I think I will."

I turned around far enough to give him a chaste kiss on the lips before walking to the bedroom, closing the door behind me, going straight to the bed, and crawling under the covers. I didn't even bother undressing, just curled up as I grabbed Edward's pillow, hugging it close to me.

I must have fallen asleep, because the light coming through the window fell in a different spot than when I'd first gone to bed. I wasn't sure what woke me up at first, but after a few minutes, I realized I could hear people talking. I lay quietly as I tried to listen to the voices coming from the living room. Edward must have come in to check on me at some point, because the door to the bedroom was ajar, the voices sifting through the opening.

After a few minutes, I gave up trying to figure out who was there. All I was certain of was that there was more than one person, so I knew it wasn't Edward talking on the phone. I was also fairly sure it wasn't the TV, since he wouldn't have had it up loud enough for it to possibly wake me. So that left visitors, and I had no idea who'd be stopping by. I slowly, gingerly got up out of bed and made my way to the living room quietly. I stopped out of sight, as I finally heard who was here.

Rosalie.

"...hours, Edward. He won't listen to reason. He's serious about not wanting him to come back to the house." She sighed, and I could imagine her running her fingers through her hair in frustration. Her voice lowered, and I was barely able to catch what she said next. "He wouldn't even allow him to come and pick up his things. Emmett and I packed what we could, and we brought some of it with us, figuring he'd be staying with you."

I slumped against the wall, burying my face in my hands, trying to stay quiet. I wasn't ready to face Rosalie just yet, or Emmett, if he was here with her now. I didn't hear what Edward said, as his voice was too low, but I heard footsteps and then the door open and close. It was silent for a moment, and I thought that maybe Rose had left.

_He's never going to be able to get past this. Never going to forgive me..._I snorted quietly in disgust at the thought of even _needing_ forgiveness. It wasn't as if I'd done something to wrong him in any way. I had broken no laws, done no misdeeds of any kind, betrayed no trusts.

I just loved Edward.

And for that, he now hated me. I felt stuck somewhere between being pissed off at him, and so hurt I just wanted to hole up and not come out again.

I pressed the heels of my hands over my eyes, trying to stop thinking for a second. The sound of footsteps heading to the kitchen made me pause and listen. I could hear the fridge door open, then close, and then footsteps again, followed by Edward's voice as he spoke softly, "Here, you look like you could use one."

The tell-tale clink of a bottle cap being popped off of a beer bottle followed, and I heard Rose as she thanked him. Another pop, and I knew Edward had gotten a beer, as well. They sat in silence for a moment longer, and I contemplated whether I wanted to go and join them, or go back to bed. Either option was appealing, at this point.

The silence was interrupted by a thump on the front door, and I heard Edward get up to open it. "Emmett, here... let me get that."

I pushed off the wall and stepped into the middle of the hallway so I could see what was going on. Emmett, who was facing toward me looked right at me, his voice gentle and soft, bringing home even further how fucked up things were at the moment. "Jasper..."

At this, Rosalie spun in her seat to look at me, since she'd been sitting with her back to the hallway. Edward turned around more slowly, almost as if he were worried he might scare me off. All three of them looked at me with worry and pity. Rosalie got to her feet, quickly making her way to me and wrapping her arms around my neck as she pulled me into a fierce hug, whispering, "Jazzie, I'm so sorry."

I didn't answer, just wrapped my arms around her waist and held her tight. She was all the family I had left now, and I clung to her as if she were a life preserver. She pulled back after a moment, slipping out of my grasp as she grabbed my hand, leading me over to the couch. Emmett and Edward had put the suitcases and bags Emmett had hauled in down by the door and taken a seat in the chairs on either side of the couch. Rose pulled me down next to her on the couch, taking both my hands in hers as she turned in her seat so she was facing me, her eyes taking in my face.

I was sure she wouldn't like what she saw there, but she didn't say anything about it - which in and of itself meant I probably looked like shit. She sighed, lowering her eyes briefly before looking at me again. "Jazz, I don't know what to say. I...we..." She gestured to Emmett as she paused, and I idly wondered what it must have been like for Emmett to be put in that situation. I wasn't even sure if he'd been properly introduced to our parents yet. "We spent most of the morning trying to talk to Daddy. He wouldn't listen to reason. He just..."

She trailed off, reluctant to finish, but I had a fair idea of just what he had done. Especially after last night. I pulled my hands out of her grasp and scooted further back into the couch, pulling my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and ignoring the pain the movement cost me. I vaguely noted Rose shoot a quick glance at Edward before she turned back to me. I closed my eyes and sighed, "Rose, did Momma say anything..?"

I opened my eyes so I could see her face, as she remained quiet for longer than I expected her to. She was frowning and worrying her bottom lip, a nervous habit she rarely portrayed, only when she knew you would really not like whatever would be coming out of her mouth next.

"Jasper, I didn't see her at all. Daddy said she'd gone to her room and hadn't come out. He kept going on about how heartbroken she was and..." she paused, taking a deep breath, obviously skipping over some of the finer details of Daddy's rant as she continued, "he wouldn't let me go see her. You know how he can get..."

I groaned softly, the guilt I felt for causing Momma to be hurt churning away in my stomach. I ran a hand through my hair, muttering a soft, "Fuck..." and fighting to keep the tears at bay. I was sick of crying, and yet it was all I seemed to do. Cry, or be numb. Rose put a hand on my knee, rubbing it gently with her thumb as she spoke, "Jazz, I need you to know that I told Daddy I was moving out. I can't live in the same house as him, knowing what he's done...is doing, to you."

My eyes snapped to hers, anger finally bubbling to the surface as she spoke.

"What the fuck, Rose! How could you do that? How could you leave, when Momma's hurting...because of me? She's going to _need you_, and you left her?"

I knew that what I said wasn't all rational, but I was pissed. I was pissed at the guys that had attacked me, pissed at the man who I had looked up to all my life, pissed at myself for causing pain to everyone around me, pissed at Rose for bailing on our mother when she'd essentially already lost one child. None of it made sense anymore, and I just let loose.

The shock on Rose's face at my outburst brought me up short, and I closed my eyes, taking deep, calming breaths. When Rose spoke again, she did so in a soft, but firm voice, and I cringed slightly as I heard what she said.

"Jasper, I will allow you that outburst. Once. But don't, for one second, believe that I won't be there for Momma. Or for you. I cannot and _will not_ stay in the same house as Daddy. She knows how to reach me, and I'm going to call her once I know _he_ won't be in the house."

She paused, and I opened my eyes again to look at her, nodding quietly before she continued, "I don't know if you heard what I told Edward, but he won't let you go near the house. Emmett and I got some of your things here already, but we're going to go back and get the rest after my shift at the hospital on Monday. There's no point in going there while he's still home, and Monday he'll be back at work again."

I nodded again and sighed as I unfurled myself off the couch and leaned forward to wrap my arms around Rosalie. Hugging her tight, I whispered, "I'm sorry, Rosie... I didn't mean to yell at you. Thank you; I do appreciate what you're doing."

She hugged me back, murmuring softly, "I know, Jazzie."

Emmett, who'd apparently gotten up to grab a beer of his own, sat down behind Rosalie on the arm of the couch, placing a hand on her shoulder as he took a quick pull from his beer. I let Rose go but took her hand in mine as I sat back against the couch with a sigh. She squeezed it lightly, giving me a tentative smile. I watched Emmett as he gestured with the hand holding his beer to Edward. "Hey man, about that. Any chance of my borrowing your car on Monday? My Jeep's not exactly well-suited for moving stuff. I could rent a car or something, but there isn't all that much left; I just don't have room in mine."

Edward stood without saying anything and walked to the door, grabbed his keys, and took off his car key. He looked at it for a moment, and I saw him release a slow breath as he put his keyring back in place and walked over to Emmett, silently handing him the key to his Lexus. My eyes followed Edward as he sat back down. I was amazed at what had just happened. Edward never let anyone drive his car. Ever. Aside from me, anyway. He'd offered to let me drive, but I never took him up on it. I had my license, and I was a good driver, but I just didn't have the inclination to do so. For Edward, driving was relaxing, so I was happy to leave him to it.

For him to even think of letting Emmett drive his car, without any comment or reaction...to use his car to move things with...things that were not his own...

I turned my eyes to Emmett, who sat with a similar expression of shock on his face as he looked at Edward - who still had not said a word. By the time my eyes were back on Edward, he had grabbed his beer and was holding it in both hands, between his knees, his eyes locked on the bottle.

Finally, Emmett seemed to snap out of his shock as he muttered, "Thanks, man... you know I'll take care of her for you."

Edward just nodded before tipping the bottle to his lips and polishing off the rest of his beer. I watched as he got up and walked quickly to the kitchen, frowning as I realized I hadn't heard him say one word since I'd made my presence known. I wasn't sure what to make of it, and I had been unable to get a read on him, being in too much turmoil myself. It scared me a little to think that, in spite of his earlier words to the contrary, he was closing himself off from me.

"Jasper..." I turned to Rosalie as she spoke my name, the sound of it having startled me a little. "I think Emmett and I are going to go. You should...talk, I think." Her eyes flickered from mine to the kitchen and back to mine again before she continued, "I think he's taking things harder than he's been letting on."

I looked up at Emmett as I saw him nod in agreement as he murmured, "I haven't seen him like this in a long time, Jasper."

He got up, and I did the same as he stepped toward me. His arms came around my shoulders in a warm but careful hug - different from what he usually did. He actually was comforting, and I couldn't help but smile a little at the thought. As he pulled back, he gave my upper arm a squeeze and said, "We'll stop by tomorrow, see how you two are holding up, if that's okay?"

I nodded. "Sure, Em. And thank you."

He shrugged. "For what? Not doing anything special, bro."

Tilting my head toward Rosie, I said, "For being there for Rose, for taking care of her now."

Rosalie rolled her eyes as she overheard our talk, and I chuckled softly as I caught her. She got up from the couch and hugged me tight once more. "I love you, brother mine. I'll see you tomorrow."

I walked them to the door, thanking them again for everything, and closed the door behind them, locking it. I turned and leaned against it for a moment, my eyes on the kitchen where Edward was still hiding. I wasn't sure what to do. I drummed my fingers against the door nervously as I found myself once again wondering whether this was all too much.

I sighed softly, muttering to myself, "Only one way to find out."

I pushed myself carefully away from the door and made my way to the kitchen. When I got to the doorway, I stopped. Edward was seated at the island, his elbows on the surface and his head resting in his hands. His whole countenance was one of defeat; it at once scared me and made my heart hurt for him. I walked quietly over to him, my eyes never leaving his face, but he made no move to acknowledge I was even here.

I stood next to him, my hand hovering over his shoulder, unsure if my touch would be welcomed right now. _Damn it. Why am I so nervous all of a sudden?_ Part of me realized that this was still Edward, who loved and wanted me. Another part - a small, but loud part - kept going over all the reasons why things between us may have changed, why he no longer would feel the same. I clenched my jaw, closing my eyes as I tried to force myself to stop. _Thinking like that will only give power to what happened. I _don't_ want that. Not for me, but especially not for him._

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I slipped my arms around his shoulders, kissing his neck right under his ear before whispering softly, "Edward?"

He didn't say anything; instead, he turned around and wrapped his arms around my waist as he rested his head against my chest. I was beginning to worry about the fact that he had yet to utter a single word, either to me or in my presence. I placed a kiss in his hair, sighing softly as I held him to me, my hands gently rubbing his back.

I wasn't sure what exactly was going on with him, but he seemed to need the contact, and I wasn't about to deny him that, so we stood like that for several minutes. At first, he just held on, his head resting against me in a way that didn't allow me to see his face. After a while though, his breathing changed, and I felt something against my skin. By the time it registered that what I was feeling was dampness, I realized Edward's shoulders had started to shake lightly.

Alarmed, I pulled away, putting both hands on his cheeks so I could coax his head up. He lifted his face to me, his eyes closed as he took a steadying breath. I gently wiped his tears away, whispering, "Edward, what...?"

He cut me off by shaking his head with a huff, harshly wiping his face with a short sound of disgust. I frowned, not sure what to make of it but not liking the feeling of rejection that washed over me. _Ridiculous_. I scolded myself for thinking it. He had turned his face away from me, looking down at the countertop with a frown. His voice was so low, I barely caught his "I'm sorry."

I grabbed the other stool, pulling it next to him, and took a seat so we could talk. I placed my palm on his cheek to turn his face to mine, needing to put more force than normal behind it. He was being stubborn. I felt myself getting pissed off again; I knew it wasn't entirely his fault, that my anger was caused by other things and this just triggered it. I knew it, and yet I couldn't quite keep the force of it out of my voice as I put my other hand on his shoulder, shaking him.

"Damn it, Edward. Talk to me."

He cringed slightly but lifted his hand to cover the one on his cheek as he finally looked at me. There were still silent tears running down his face, and the pain in his eyes took my breath away. There was something else there, too, just behind the pain. Taking a deep breath, I gently cradled his face in both hands. _Oh, Edward..._

My voice was much softer this time. "Please, darlin'. Please talk to me. I don't know what to do here. I need for you to tell me what's going on. Don't shut me out, please?"

He swallowed a few times before he was able to speak, his voice husky and broken when he did.

"Jazz..."

He paused for a bit as if unwilling to put voice to his thoughts. His eyes shifted away from me again for a moment, before coming back to linger on mine. I let my hands drop to take both his hands in my own, resting them between us as my thumbs caressed the backs of his hands. Finally, he continued, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I don't know how...you and Rosalie... I'm so sorry, Jasper. So very sorry for all of this..." He pulled one hand free to wipe at his eyes again before running his fingers through his hair as his eyes raised to the ceiling. "Your whole family's blown apart because of me."

He was silent for a while again before he turned his head away from me and added in a soft voice, "I was so selfish...shouldn't have..."

My heart skipped a beat at even the thought of never having had this time with Edward, never having known the love we shared. Of losing that now. _No!_ I squeezed his hand - probably harder than I should have - trying to make him look at me again. My throat felt dry, and I had to work to swallow a few times before I could say anything.

"Edward, you don't know what you're saying."

I scooted the stool closer, forcing Edward to part his legs a little, and I ended up with my legs between his, resting my feet on his stool. Leaning forward, I put my hands on his thighs, rubbing small circles with my thumbs as I spoke.

"My family is 'blown apart', as you put it, because my father can't get his head out of his ass long enough to see that I'm still his son and that I finally figured out what it's like to be in love."

He gave me a skeptical look, as if unsure he could believe what he was hearing. I had to remind myself of what he'd been through before, what he had dealt with when something similar happened when his last boyfriend had come out. I took a deep breath, trying to keep my focus on Edward, realizing that he needed me now. He needed to hear this, to be reminded of us.

"Darlin', if you'd never come back into my life, if I'd continued living the way I was...I'd never have settled down. I wasn't ever truly happy, never really loved anyone before you. How can you say you're selfish, when you've given me so much? You've taken such care of me, right from the start. You gave me your heart, and you waited for me to be ready at every step, putting your own needs second to mine. You're the one that showed me how to be true to myself, Edward."

His glistening eyes searched mine as I spoke, but he remained quiet. He put a hand on top of mine, his fingers idly tracing my wrist. Sighing softly, I continued.

"You've changed my life in so many ways, I couldn't even begin to tell you all of it. All I know is this: I love you like I have never loved anyone before. And I know that you love me, too, because you've shown me by your actions and your words, Edward. Please, don't let what happened last night change any of that. Not those guys and certainly not my father. Yes, it hurts - a lot - to know how he feels. But Edward... it hurts me more to think that you're pulling away from me. If I had to choose between having him, or being with you... I choose you, darlin'. Please believe that."

We sat in silence for a minute or two, as he seemed to process what I was saying. I didn't know what else to say to make him understand, how else to let him know that - as far as I was concerned, at least - we were okay. I could only pray that we really _were _okay. He nodded slightly before leaning forward and resting his head on my shoulder, his arms slipping around my waist as he murmured, "I'm sorry."

For a split second, I was worried about why he was saying he was sorry, but when I felt his lips on my neck, I was certain we'd be okay. I put my arms around him, turning my head a little to place a soft kiss behind his ear as that was all I could reach.

I pulled away after a few minutes, starting to feel uncomfortable sitting on the stools as we were. He sat up, his eyes searching mine questioningly. He still had a slightly haunted look in his eyes, causing me to frown as I cupped his cheek. I couldn't find the words to make the last of his pain and worry melt away. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to do that.

Standing up slowly, I grabbed his hand and tugged lightly, urging him to follow me as I whispered, "Come on."

He got up, and we walked to the bedroom, hand in hand, turning off lights as we went. When we got to the bed, I turned around and began to undress him. I took it slow, mindful of my ribs, but I knew I had to show him as well as tell him. He seemed to understand my need to do this and made no effort to stop me; he just watched me with a soft smile that didn't quite chase away that look in his eyes.

I so wanted for him to just smile again, to be happy and not hurt anymore. I wanted to rid him of those last vestiges of pain. I would do whatever I could to make that happen. I'd have to prove to him that I was alright. He needed me, needed me to be strong.

When I tried to take off my shirt, I winced in pain. No matter how strong I wanted to be, I was still injured, and my ribs were definitely letting me know certain movements were still a no go without pain. Edward's hands were instantly there to help me pull off the offending object before going to my jeans and gently taking those off, too.

Again, no words were spoken, and I let him help me without any complaint this time, as I realized that he needed to be able to do this for me as much as I needed to do it for him. Once I was undressed, he stood and surveyed my body, taking in the various bruises and cuts. The pain in his eyes was more visible as his fingertips traced over my ribs. I couldn't let him go there again, so I took his hand and climbed in bed, urging him to lie next to me.

He paused for the briefest moment before climbing in, carefully lying down a few inches from me. I rolled my eyes at him as he settled on his back, his right arm under his head while his left hand was splayed over his stomach. Rolling over to my side, I rested my left arm over both our heads, my fingers idly running through his hair as I curled up to him. His eyes fluttered closed as I let my fingers trace up and down his chest and stomach, just gentle touches.

I watched him as he visibly relaxed at my touch, and I smiled softly as I dipped my head, kissing his chest lightly. We lay like that for a while as Edward seemed to relax more and more, and a smile would tug on the corner of his lips whenever I'd lean in to kiss his chest. Finally, he opened his eyes with a soft sigh and turned to face me. He put his arm over my hip as he moved closer to me, our bodies flush against the other.

He looked into my eyes, his thumb tracing small circles on my hip. He pressed his lips briefly against mine before murmuring, "Thank you." He kissed me tenderly, and in between kisses he kept whispering, "I love you."

* * *

A/N: A few points of business to address here today. First: Please don't kill me ^_~.

Second: I'm up for auction next week (January 15-17) for the Support Stacie Auction. I have an auction all on my own, and SorceressCirce and I have a joint one as well. You can check it out here:  
. You can find details of what we will and won't do there. It's for a good cause, so I hope y'all will check out our auctions as well as those of the others that are up. Happy bidding!

Third: If you thought 2009 was fucked up, wait until you see how we're going to fuck with you in 2010! Go now and enter the FML contest. . Come on, it'll be fun. You know y'all enjoy a good one ;)

And last but not least: Thank you to everyone who voted in the Who's Under Your Tree contest. My one-shot "All I Want For Christmas" came in first place for the Voter's Pick. I'm totally psyched ^_^. Thank you again.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Thanks to SorceressCirce & JayceStorm for being my beta-fish and for letting me pick your brains. ^_~**

**As ever, I do not own Twilight. These boys have a healthy appetite ^_~**

* * *

_I watched him as he visibly relaxed at my touch, and I smiled softly as I dipped my head, kissing his chest lightly. We lay like that for a while as Edward seemed to relax more and more, and a smile would tug on the corner of his lips whenever I'd lean in to kiss his chest. Finally, he opened his eyes with a soft sigh and turned to face me. He put his arm over my hip as he moved closer to me, our bodies flush against the other._

_He looked into my eyes, his thumb tracing small circles on my hip. He pressed his lips briefly against mine before murmuring, "Thank you." He kissed me tenderly, and in between kisses he kept whispering, "I love you." _

* * *

**EPOV**

"I'm fine, Edward!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose as Jasper threw his hands up in the air in exasperation - or rather, he tried and flinched, hugging his torso as his ribs protested. Rosalie and Emmett had stopped by earlier to check up on us. They'd left after we'd sat down and eaten lunch. Jasper had been putting on a brave face for all of us, claiming he felt fine and was going to be okay. He flat out refused to talk about their parents, though Rosalie had tried to coax him into a conversation about them.

He hadn't let me help him get dressed, either, insisting on taking care of himself. That I could understand, in part at least. Because every time I saw his injuries, it felt like I had failed him somehow, and I knew I didn't hide those feelings very well. His bruises were darker, angrier; he was stiff and sore even if he claimed the contrary - it was obvious in the way he moved his body. He was being stubborn in trying to show me that he was fine and could manage, that he was stronger than I thought he was. I guess he didn't realize that I felt he was the strongest man I'd ever met.

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to take care of him. I wanted him to heal, to be careful, and to give himself time to recover. Not just from the physical damage he'd received, but the emotional as well.

Because no matter what he said, I knew that what had happened plagued him. I knew, because he was tossing and turning in his sleep last night...and the night before. He had, at one point, even talked in his sleep - uttering pleas to his father and apologies to his mother. I had tried to wake him but was unable to, and in the end I simply held him close to me while he slowly settled back down. When I asked him about it after we'd gotten up, he didn't remember a thing.

I had brought it up to Rose while Jasper had stepped away for a moment, to see if he had ever done that sort of thing before. She'd informed me that he had done the same for a long time after Brendan had died, and he even had a short episode after he had come home from camp the summer we met. She had added this quietly, stating that she was the only one who knew about that time, and she wasn't even sure he was aware of it. She'd told me that he had never mentioned my name in his sleep or given any indication as to why he was so upset, but that he had just kept uttering pleas in his sleep.

I sighed as I looked up at Jasper, trying to not get upset that he didn't seem to want me near. I had suggested I stay home for the next couple of days. I didn't feel right leaving him to fend for himself until I knew he was doing better. Jasper, however, wouldn't hear of it.

He grimaced as he tried to breathe through the pain his ribs were causing him. "I'll be _fine_, Edward. Just go to work tomorrow."

"Jazz..."

"I mean it, Edward. I don't want you to miss work over this. _Or _swimming!"

"But..."

He shook his head with a sigh. "No, you have to go. Especially since I'm not going to be able to be there. They need you, darlin'."

I tried again. "They can find someone else to do the session, Jazz. And I know Dad wouldn't mind my staying home under the circumstances. Hell, I can even work from home on some of the things I have waiting for me."

I bit the inside of my cheek as he shook his head. I was loathe to admit it, but it hurt that he wouldn't let me be there for him. At least, it felt that way. I closed my eyes, running my fingers through my hair as I sighed in resignation.

"Fine. I'll call Dad to see if he can come pick me up in the morning."

I didn't look to see his reaction as I got up, grabbed my phone, and headed to my office. I closed the door behind me, leaning heavily against it as I wondered for what was sure to be the first of many times whether things would ever be okay again. Jasper's reassurances were anything but comforting, given the fact that it was painfully obvious that he wasn't alright - that he was hurting, and not just from the attack.

I rested my head against the door, tilting it up as if to look at the ceiling, closed my eyes, and whispered, "Please help me help him. Show me what to do..."

I scrubbed my face before pushing off the door and walking to my desk. I sat down heavily in my chair, holding the phone in both my hands as I wondered what to tell my parents. I realized that I should have called them the day before, but with everything that had happened, it had simply slipped my mind.

I muttered, "Well, sitting here staring at the phone won't make it go any easier..."

I dialed home, and the phone rang only twice before Dad answered with a cheerful,_ "Hello, Son! How are you?"_

I pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes as I said softly, "I've been better, Dad. I've definitely been better."

_"What's wrong, Edward? Did something happen?"_

I sighed deeply, my voice catching several times as I explained what had happened. He was quiet through most of it. It was a relief to tell him everything, but at the same time, I felt weighed down.

"Dad, I let Emmett borrow my car tomorrow so he and Rosalie can get the last of Jasper's things; could you give me a ride to work?"

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line._ "Of course, Son. Good God...I don't even have words to say what is going through my mind right now. Edward, are you _sure _you're alright?"_

"Yeah, Dad, I'm sure. It's just been...hard."

_"And Jasper? Is he going to be okay? Physically, I mean... I can't even imagine..."_

I gave a humorless chuckle as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Yeah, physically he'll be fine once the bruises fade and his ribs are healed. He was lucky, in a way..." My voice lowered to barely a whisper, "Things could've been so much worse, Dad. If Ang hadn't seen them take Jazz..."

I couldn't even think about what could have happened. I didn't think I could stand the idea of losing Jasper in that way. I sat back in my chair, closing my eyes as I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging at it in an attempt to stop my thoughts from going in that direction.

_"Edward!"_

I startled at the sound of Dad's voice. "Sorry, Dad...what was that?"

He sighed softly._ "I'll be there tomorrow around seven, unless you want us to stop by tonight? If you think it would help...?"  
_  
I thought about it for a moment. I knew my mother would want to be here, for both of us, but in reality I wasn't at all sure that would do any good right now. Biting my lip, I wished there was a right answer to all of this. With a sigh, I said, "No, I think we'll be okay. Thanks. And Dad? Tell Mom not to worry too much?"

_"Will do. Did you want to talk to her?"_

"No, that's okay. I should get back to Jasper. I'll see you in the morning. Love you."

_"Love you, too, Son. And give our love to Jasper as well."_

"Will do."

I stared at the wall for a few minutes, trying to gather myself before heading back out to Jasper. Part of me really wished that Mom would show up anyway. I could have used her warming comfort right then, and I briefly contemplated calling them again and asking them to come over. Shaking my head at myself, I got up and headed to the living room in search of Jasper.

I found him sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the TV, seemingly watching _Forrest Gump_. Taking a seat next to him, I carefully pulled him to me. He rested his head on my shoulder as I wrapped my arms around him loosely, my cheek on the crown of his head. He whispered softly, "Is your Dad able to pick you up tomorrow?"

I kissed the top of his head lightly. "Yeah, he'll be here around seven. He said to give you their love."

He nodded slightly, and I wondered whether or not he was changing his mind about wanting me to go, but I thought better of asking him. We sat like that for the rest of the movie, only shifting now and then to get more comfortable when his ribs bothered him too much after sitting in one position for too long. Once the movie was over, we decided to just go to bed, in spite of the early hour.

Jasper got up with me the next day, making us coffee, scrambled eggs, and toast for breakfast while I was in the shower. I made sure he took some ibuprofen, asking him one last time if he was sure he wanted me to leave, which was met with a roll of his eyes.

We had just finished eating when the buzzer sounded, indicating Dad was here. I looked at the clock, frowning a little as I saw that he was early. I went to buzz him in, and a minute or so later, both he and Mom walked through the door. As soon as she saw me, she hugged me tight, and I had never been more thankful for her love for me.

Her eyes were shimmering as she pulled away to look up at me. "Are you sure you're alright?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Mom, I'm okay. Well, as okay as I can be, I guess."

She cupped my cheek with her hand, nodding to indicate she understood what I wasn't saying. She pulled me down enough to kiss my other cheek, whispering, "Where's Jasper?"

"He's in the kitchen."

She nodded and walked to the kitchen in search of him. I watched her as I ran my fingers through my hair with a sigh before looking at my father. I tilted my head slightly, raising a brow in question. "Not that I'm not happy to see Mom here, but...why did she come with you, Dad?"

He shrugged. "You know your mother."

He stepped up to me, pulling me into a warm hug. I wrapped my arms around him and sighed. "Thanks, Dad. I'm so grateful that you and Mom have always been there for me. I can't even imagine what I would have done if..."

He patted my back gently. "Shh, Edward, it'll all work out."

He let me go then and indicated we should probably go check on Jasper and Mom. She was standing next to Jasper, who was still sitting on his stool at the island. She had her hand placed over his, and they were talking quietly, but stopped as Dad and I walked in.

Mom looked up at me and smiled softly before patting Jasper's hand and walking over to us. She took her keys out of her purse, grabbed my hand, and placed them in my palm, wrapping my fingers around them. I looked at her with wide eyes.

"Mom, what..?"

"Hush now. You are going to take my car to work today, so you can go to the club after. Your Dad's going to stop by here after work, and we'll all have dinner together."

I gaped at her, my eyes flickering to Jasper, who had a similar expression on his face.

"But...Mom..."

She gave me a stern look - one that I knew better than to argue against - as she said, "No but's! I have nowhere to be today, and if you'll let me use your computer, what little work I have can be done from there."

I nodded slowly before looking at Jasper. He seemed slightly puzzled and perhaps a little bemused, though it was hard to tell. I walked up to him and ran my fingers through his hair, smiling softly at him.

"Think you'll be okay having Mom here all day?"

I stifled a chuckle at Esme's indignant, "Hey! Watch it, young man."

Jasper smiled, though it seemed a little strained - sad, even. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm not sure I'll be great company, though."

I leaned in, kissing him tenderly - closing my eyes when I felt him return it as his arms slipped around my waist. For just a few minutes, things felt like normal - that is, right up until Dad cleared his throat, saying it was time to head out. I pecked Jasper's lips one more time, sighing softly as I told him I loved him.

His whispered, "I love you, too," put the first genuine smile on my lips since the party. I hated leaving him, but I knew that with Mom there, he would at least be taken care of - and he would not be allowed to do anything that he shouldn't be doing until he got better. So it was with that in mind that I was able to go to work and even attempt to get something done there.

The day seemed to drag by. Not because there wasn't anything to do, but I just could not focus on anything. Dad stopped by often, making sure I was holding up okay. I appreciated it, but at the same time, I wished it wasn't necessary. My mind kept going back to Jasper. I stayed logged in to my IM, but he never showed, and I wasn't sure what to make of that. He normally logged on at least once, just to catch up, so I was worried.

Finally, around lunch time, I couldn't take it anymore and called the house. Mom answered the phone, and when I asked her how he was doing, she told me that they had talked and that he had gone to bed again - exhausted. Somehow, this didn't quite alleviate my worry for him. I wanted to know what they had talked about, but I knew better than to ask. Mom would just say that it was between her and Jasper, and it was up to Jasper to tell me himself if he wanted for me to know. Instead I just thanked her for being there for him.

The rest of the day didn't fare any better, and when I finally arrived at the swimming hall, I had to work to put a smile on my face for the kids - or at the very least not to scowl at them. They were supposed to train for the swim-a-thon again, and a few of the kids had come up to me with their forms already.

Jessica's mother was waiting in the stands, a habit she had developed ever since the incident with James. I knew it wasn't out of a lack of faith in us; it was just a mother-thing. Jessica walked up to me and tugged at my shirt to get my attention. She handed me her form, a serious look on her face as she tilted her head.

"Mister Edward, where's Mister Jasper?"

I knelt down in front of her, forcing a small smile as I took the form from her. "He's not feeling well, honey. He'll be back soon, though."

_Not feeling well._ I mentally scoffed myself for putting it like that, but what else could I say? Jessica gave me a thoughtful look for a moment, biting her lower lip. Her eyes flitted to her mom, who was watching us. I chanced a look at her, and she smiled at me, letting me - or Jessica - know that it was okay. When I looked back at Jessica, she smiled tentatively at me and hugged me briefly. I was a little taken aback - she had hugged me before, of course, but this seemed different.

She looked sternly at me, and I had to work hard not to laugh at the expression on her face, my heart feeling lighter than it had in days at the sight of it. "That was for Mister Jasper. Will you give it to him? Tell him I hope he feels better soon."

I was stunned, so I just nodded. "I will. Thank you, Jessica. I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

She smiled, looked at her mom again, and then walked to the helper in her lane, babbling at her about something. I watched in amazement, shaking my head slightly. _Does she know? _

I was startled when Mrs. Stanley spoke from behind me. "Is Jasper alright, Edward?"

I stood up, turning to her as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Yeah, he'll be fine. He just felt it was better not to...expose...the kids today." _God, what a way to put that, Cullen._

She gave me a scrutinizing look before smiling softly. "You'd better be sure to pass along her hug, or she'll not let you hear the end of it, I'm sure."

I blushed slightly, stuttering, "Err, yeah, I will."

She chuckled softly, putting her hand on my shoulder. "You two look great together, you know. Jessica and I saw you at the store the other day - though I don't think you saw us."

She winked, and my blush deepened. I rubbed the back of my neck, unsure of what to say. Though I had certainly never made it a secret I was gay, Jasper and I had always tried to ensure we behaved in front of or near the kids.

Mrs. Stanley smiled warmly at me as she continued, "She asked questions, especially after you kissed. She understands - well, as much as any ten-year-old can, anyway."

She cleared her throat lightly and smiled. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know. I think Jess might have a minor case of hero worship for the two of you, so..."

I couldn't help but chuckle at that, shaking my head slightly. "She'll get over it, I'm sure."

Mrs. Stanley grinned. "I'm sure she will. And I'm certain she will end up making life miserable for her father in the process."

"Probably, yeah."

"Anyway, you'd better get back to those kids. They've already started without you. Please tell Jasper to get well soon, okay?"

"I will. Thank you, Mrs. Stanley."

The rest of the lesson went by quicker than I expected, and before I knew it, I was telling the kids to go get dressed. The team showed up - surprisingly almost all at once - as soon as the last of the kids had filtered out. None of them went into the water, instead grouping together near the deep end. Even Bella was there, though she was dressed normally but wearing flip flops so she could go through the dressing room with the other girls.

With a sigh, I walked over to them. I looked at everyone, my eyes lingering on Felix's face - who was sporting an angry bruise that practically covered one side of his face. When I looked at Emmett, he nodded slightly to let me know he had my back as always.

Turning my attention to the rest of the team, I sighed. I ran my fingers through my hair again, feeling nervous and not really sure why. Bella stepped up to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders as she pulled me into a hug. I closed my eyes as I returned it, whispering in her hair, "Thanks, Bella."

She rubbed my back before letting go of me enough to turn around, one arm slipping around my waist instead. "You're welcome. How's Jasper holding up?"

"He's...he's doing okay, I guess. All things considered, anyway."

Felix piped up. "I thought he'd be here today?"

I shook my head. "Nah, he can't move very well with his ribs right now. Plus he didn't want to scare the kids. Though I'm sure your ugly mug did plenty of that..."

I grinned at him and he just scoffed, though my remark earned me a pinch to my side from Bella. I looked at her with a raised brow. She narrowed her eyes at me but said nothing. I would have to figure out what was going on with her later. The others on the team asked questions, wanting to know what the police had said, how Jasper was doing aside from his injuries. They wanted to know if they could help in any way. And to a man - or woman, as the case may be - they said they were behind us all the way. Their support meant the world to me, and I was sure it would to Jasper as well.

After a few more minutes of talking, we ended up just doing some throwing practice, since we had taken so much time to discuss what had happened. I wasn't happy about that from a training perspective as we had a game on Saturday, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world. We could make up for it on Wednesday, and I warned them of that before we all headed to the locker rooms to shower and change.

Emmett held me back as the others left. He thanked me again for letting him use my car, but I brushed off his thanks. He sighed softly as he said, "Look man, I just wanted to let you know everything went okay. Their Dad wasn't home, like Rosie predicted, but if their Mom was there, she didn't let on. We got everything packed up and moved over already. I left your key on the counter."

I frowned slightly as I nodded. "How was Jasper when you got there?"

He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck. "I don't know. Esme said he was asleep, so Rose and I were as quiet as possible. I left Rose there though; I hope you don't mind?"

I shook my head. "Mind? No, of course not. She's his sister; why would I mind?"

He grinned slightly. "No reason, it's just...all of this is just weird... and I don't know..."

He shrugged, and I couldn't help but grin at him. It wasn't often that Emmett got flustered at all, so it was intriguing to see to say the least. I clapped him on the shoulder as I said, "So I take it that means you're coming over for dinner?"

He chuckled and nodded. "Yeah man, you know your Mom! The woman does not take 'no' for an answer."

"Truer words, Em...Anyway, see you at my place in a few, yeah?"

With that, we parted ways - only to meet up again by the elevator in my complex. We were both lost in thought as we rode up to my floor. I wondered what I would be coming home to; if Jasper would even be up and around now that there were people over. I hated that I had no interaction with him all day, no way to read how he was doing, so to say that I was surprised when I heard laughter coming from the kitchen - Jasper's laugh as well as Mom's - would be an understatement.

I glanced over at Emmett, who looked equally surprised but shrugged as he caught my gaze. I walked to the kitchen after putting my things away, untying my tie as I went - I was curious as to what was going on. Before I got there, Jasper walked out, holding a basket full of dinner rolls as he headed to the dining room table. The smile that lit his face when he saw me made my heart skip a beat.

He walked up to me and cupped my cheek as he leaned in, whispering, "Welcome home, darlin'," before kissing me deeply. My eyes closed of their own accord as I returned his kiss, my hands moving to his hips and pulling him closer to me - losing myself for a moment. The stitches on his lip caught on mine, but I couldn't quite bring myself to care since it didn't seem to hurt him - it felt so _good _to feel him like this again as his lips moved languidly with mine. He seemed to really _be _here, almost as if the last few days hadn't happened.

Emmett walked past us, clearing his throat before loudly whispering, "Get a room, you two."

I pulled away from Jasper, scowling at Emmett as I said, "Fuck off, McCarty." I momentarily forgot that my parents were also around.

Mom's "Edward Anthony Cullen! Language!" from the kitchen was a painful reminder, causing me to blush and mutter an apology. Everyone laughed, even Jasper joining in as he pecked my lips again.

I reluctantly let him go with a sigh, which just made Jasper grin. He went on to put the basket on the table before walking back to me and grabbing my hand, leading me into the kitchen where everyone else had congregated. I squeezed his hand once before letting it go, and I walked over to Esme, who was dishing up what looked to be a pot roast into a serving dish. I waited for her to be done so no accidents happened as I hugged her, kissed her cheek, and apologized again for my language.

She patted my hand with a smile before ordering me to take the dish with the pot roast and put it on the table.

I chuckled. "Yes, ma'am."

I saw Emmett take out plates, Rosalie following him with cutlery and Jasper with glasses. I chuckled at the sight._ Leave it to my mother to have assigned a role to everyone._ Behind me I heard the distinct sound of a cork being popped and turned to see my father grinning at me, wine bottle and corkscrew in hand. I grabbed the dish and headed out to the dining table, placing it in the middle.

I kissed Jasper on the cheek. "I'll be right back. I want to get out of this suit."

He nodded, his attention on the table as if trying to make sure everything was there. I left them to it, figuring they would ask me if they needed anything. I changed quickly into blue jeans and a gray t-shirt, wanting to get back to Jasper._ He seems to be doing better..._

I sighed, trying to stop worrying and just enjoy the evening. We could talk after everyone had gone home. For now, I was happy to have the old Jazz back again.

When I got back to the living room I paused, watching as Jasper seemed to tease Emmett and Rosalie. I didn't hear a word of it, so intent was I on seeing my Jasper happy and apparently carefree again.

Right as I started walking toward him, Mom called out, "Dinner's ready."

Jasper looked up, catching my eye as he smiled, holding his hand out to me. I grabbed it as soon as I was within reach, allowing him to pull me closer. I caressed his cheek with the back of my fingers as I smiled at him. "Hey..."

The lopsided smirk that appeared as he said, "Hey..." back warmed me. I looked into his eyes, trying to find any hint that he was troubled, but I found none.

I brushed my lips against his, murmuring, "I love you."

He hummed softly as he pressed his lips to mine. "I love you too, Edward. Now come on, let's eat."

He led me to the table where everyone else had already sat down, leaving room at one side so we could sit next to each other. Dad got up and poured wine for everyone, squeezing Mom's shoulder gently when he got to her, and I couldn't help but smile at that small show of affection. I glanced at Jasper, silently wondering - hoping - if that would be us in thirty years or so.

I was fairly quiet throughout dinner, just watching everyone else, listening to what they had to say - enjoying the comfort of having those we loved around us. Jasper was quiet as well - a content look on his face as he seemed to soak everything in - though he interacted more than I did. It was good to see him laugh, and every time he did I couldn't help myself - I put my hand on his thigh, squeezing it lightly, needing to touch him. Every time I did, he'd look at me and smile.

After everyone was done eating, I thanked Mom for cooking for us. She smiled and said, "You're welcome, but I had help. Rose and Jasper both seem to know their way around the kitchen pretty well. Yours, especially."

She smirked and gave me a knowing look, leaving me wondering just what - exactly - had been their topic of discussion today as I blushed. Jasper snickered as he leaned in, kissing me by my ear and whispering, "Don't worry, darlin'. I kept everything PG."

Chuckling softly, I turned my head and pecked him on the lips, murmuring, "You'd better. There are certain things my mother does _not _need to know about."

I winked at him and stood up, picking up our plates to take them to the kitchen. Emmett and Dad followed with a few dishes as well. As I went back to get some more dishes, Jasper walked in, handing the rest of the pot roast to me. "Here, you put this away while I grab dessert."

I raised my eyebrows at him as I took the dish from him. "Dessert, too?"

He grinned briefly before schooling his face to look serious. "Yep! Something Rosie and I made. Old family recipe, very difficult."

Rose called out from the table, "Don't believe a word of it, Edward! It's easy, but no less delicious!"

Jasper's lips twitched as he rolled his eyes. I just shook my head, happy to have him teasing again. When all the leftovers had been put away and the dishes rinsed - with the help of Emmett and Dad - and coffee made, we all sat down to enjoy dessert.

Rosalie handed me my plate with a smile. "Hope you like it. Supposed to taste sort of like an eclair."

I grinned as I took the plate. It almost looked like tiramisu with the layers, but it was more like a pie topped with melted chocolate. "You and Jasper made this. I'm sure it'll be great."

Once everyone had gotten theirs, I finally took a bite and hummed in delight, my eyes widening as I glanced at Jasper. He was grinning broadly at me. "I take it you like it?"

I nodded, swallowing so I could answer. "Heck yeah. Better than any eclair I've ever had."

Rose chuckled softly, her eyes dancing as I looked over at her. I quirked a brow. "What?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing..."

I frowned, glancing from her to Jasper, who was scowling at his sister. When I looked back at Rosalie, I just saw her put her hands down as if she had held them up in surrender - though she was sporting a wicked little grin, one that reminded me forcibly of Jasper's. I shook my head, deciding I really didn't want to know, and went back to enjoying my dessert.

After everyone was done, Mom insisted on helping with the dishes though I tried to dissuade her, saying she had done enough already. She wouldn't hear of it, so while everyone else went to sit down in the living room, she and I took care of the dishes, by hand. I knew that meant she actually wanted to talk, so I grabbed a dish towel and got busy, waiting for what she would have to say.

It took her a few minutes before she said anything at all.

"Edward...how are you holding up, dear?"

I bit my cheek to keep from groaning. I was worried: worried about Jasper and his injuries, about how he was doing after how his Dad had treated him, how his Mom had gone along with that. Worried how Jasper would be now, if he would retreat back into the closet after the club fiasco. And a part of me wondered whether he had said yes to moving in mostly because he didn't have anywhere else to go - though I knew rationally that he was more than capable of taking care of himself and getting a place of his own.

I told her all of it in a quiet voice as we continued to do the dishes and even after we had run out of dishes to do.

I hung the towel up on its hook and leaned against the counter with a sigh. "Most of all, Mom, I'm just worried about how he's going to be able to handle all of this. I can't even imagine what he's got to be going through right now. His family is all he has, and now..."

I couldn't finish my sentence. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked away from Esme, my voice so low I wasn't even sure she'd hear. I wasn't sure I really wanted her to. "I can't help but feel like all of this is my fault..."

For a moment there was nothing but silence, and I closed my eyes, afraid of what I might see if I looked up at my mother. I should have known better than to doubt her, though. I felt her hand touch my shoulder gently as she whispered, her voice trembling slightly with emotion.

"Edward, honey... none of this is your fault. You have to believe that. Bad things happen, sweetheart. I wish they didn't, and I wish that Jasper could have been spared this, but they do happen. I'm just glad that both you boys are okay."

She hugged me tightly, and I wrapped my arms around her, allowing her love to comfort me. As good as it felt, though, a small part of me still nagged about what had happened at the ER.

"But Mom, if it hadn't been for me, then Jasper's Dad wouldn't have..." I whispered, but she cut me off.

"Edward Anthony Cullen! That man's actions are not your doing. You did not make him a bigot who can't see past his nose to see his son for the man he is. What he did is inexcusable, and in _no _way are you responsible for his actions!"

I nodded, sighing softly. Jasper had already told me he didn't blame what happened on me, that it wasn't my fault. I knew he meant it when he had said that he would have gone through life without being truly happy and in love if it hadn't been for me. But a small part of me still wondered, and I hated it.

I frowned as thoughts of Alec and what had happened with him came to mind. That same part that doubted Jasper's words feared that he would eventually react the same as Alec had, and I wasn't sure I could handle that again. Especially not from Jasper - I loved him so much.

I opened my eyes when I felt her hand on my cheek. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears, but the look in them was a mixture of love, sadness, and determination.

"Sweetheart, I know. Believe me, I know, but this situation is very different than what happened with Alec. Jasper loves you. You will get through this, together. I know you will, because you love him, too. You just have to be there for each other, and remember that you are not alone. We all love both of you. You have great friends, honey; don't be afraid to ask them for help if you need it. Or us, for that matter. Your Dad and I will always be there - always."

I gave her a wan smile as I nodded. "Thanks, Mom. I needed to hear that."

I didn't know how she knew exactly what was on my mind, but she always did have a knack for knowing what I was thinking without me having to voice my thoughts - and usually she knew just what I needed to hear, like now. I hugged her tightly, feeling truly fortunate to have them as my parents.

I kissed her cheek, whispering, "I love you, Mom."

She smiled, hugging me back warmly. "I love you, too, Son. Now come on, enough dilly-dallying; let's go see what the others are up to."

I nodded, frowning slightly as I thought of something. "Hey, Mom...how was he today?"

I looked down, unsure if I was really ready to hear the answer, but realizing I had to find out. She sighed softly as she put her hand on my arm, her eyes searching my face for something. Her voice was tender as she spoke.

"Honey, he's having a hard time with all of this, you know that. To be honest, I am not sure that everything's really sunk in yet for him. He's hurting, and I'm afraid he will be for a while. Just be patient, sweetheart."

I nodded again and with a sigh, I told her to go ahead, that I had to use the restroom before heading back out. In truth, I wanted some time alone, to process what we had talked about. Mom patted my arm briefly, telling me again that she loved me before walking out of the kitchen. I stood there for a moment longer, then headed to the bathroom.

It had felt good to talk to her, to get some of what was bothering me off my chest - to hear the same words Jasper had spoken come from someone else. It helped ease my guilt...a little. I just wished that I could quiet that nagging voice in my head - the one that doubted the truth of those words. The one that told me that this would end up like Alec all over again.

After meticulously washing my hands and drying them - effectively unable to stall heading to the others any longer - I entered the living room. Emmett sat on the chair-and-a-half with Rose on his lap, while Mom and Dad sat close together on the love seat. Jasper sat in the corner of the couch, and the image of him sitting alone struck me hard, stopping me in my tracks. I had to swallow hard a few times before I managed to get my feet moving again.

When I got the couch, I placed my hand on the back of Jasper's neck before making my way around and sitting down next to him. He looked up at me with a smile, but there was something in his eyes that made me squeeze his neck again to let him know I was here.

I kept my hand on the back of his neck, running my thumb across it - just staying connected with him. It was almost as if I couldn't let go. Jasper put his hand on my thigh - like he, too, needed the connection. That thought alone was enough to make me smile. If he needed to touch me, too, then maybe that little voice was wrong.

I couldn't tell you what all was talked about while everyone was there that night. I wasn't paying much attention to the conversations around me, especially not after Jasper began to brush his pinky finger against my inner thigh. I chanced a glace at him, but he never looked at me. He just continued talking with my Dad about...something.

It was another hour or so, maybe longer, before Mom and Dad decided it was time to go home. As they were getting ready to leave, Rose and Emmett said they would head out as well. I hated to admit that I was happy to see them leave. As much as I enjoyed their company, I needed some time alone with Jasper - I keenly felt the fact that I hadn't been able to touch base with him all day. Despite having been able to feel him next to me for the last couple of hours, to see him and to hear him talking...it just wasn't quite the same.

He stood close to me as we were saying goodbye. His hand rested on my lower back, and his hip was pressed against mine while my dad helped my mom into her light jacket. A smile curved my lips when both my parents hugged Rosalie - it meant a lot to see them being so welcoming toward not only Jasper, but his family as well. We hugged each of our guests in turn, and as soon as the door was closed on Emmett's booming laughter, Jasper gave a small sigh and leaned into me.

I turned our bodies, holding him close as our heads found each others' shoulders. I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes as I relished the feel of his arms wrapped around me, his breath tickling my neck. I felt tension drain from him as he began to relax, and then his hands slipped from my hips, moving up my back as he lifted his head. I raised my head in response, my eyes seeking his.

I couldn't make sense of all the emotions I saw warring in his eyes, but he didn't give me time to try to figure it out. His eyes fluttered closed as he tilted his head, pressing his lips to mine. I could feel the stitches in his bottom lip, prompting me to be gentle and keep our kiss light, but Jasper lowered his hands to my hips and walked me backwards. After two steps, my back brushed against the door, and he took yet another step, pressing me against it as his lips parted mine. His sigh seemed to be a sound of both relief and longing when his tongue met mine, and his kiss became more insistent.

Worried about hurting him yet again, I pulled away, but he wasn't deterred, his hand moving from my hip toward the button on my pants as his lips kissed along my jaw. I caught his wrist, sure that if he kept going, I wouldn't be able to stop myself, and I didn't think he was up to anything physical just yet. Before I could ask, he breathed, "Please..." in my ear, his tongue teasing the edge of my earlobe.

"Jazz, baby...are you sure? I mean...you...shouldn't we...?" I swallowed, unable to finish my thought as he sucked lightly at the skin just beneath my ear.

Gathering my resolve, I put my hands on his elbows and pushed him away so I could see his face. The look in his eyes - _hurt? rejection? - _made my breath catch, and I placed my palm on his cheek, brushing my lips against his lightly. When I pulled back, his eyes were smoldering, determined, and he whispered huskily, "I need this. _We_ need this..."

I didn't say anything, utterly torn between being responsible enough to insist we wait until he healed and desperately longing to be with him, to make love to him. My decision was made for me when Jasper looked straight into my eyes, his expression pleading as he murmured, "Don't say no...just...please..."

I caressed his cheekbone with my thumb, watching him for a moment before I closed my eyes and tried to let it all go - my worries about Jasper's feelings changing, my anger and despair over what had happened, even my need to be responsible and watch out for him. He was right. We _needed_ this. I needed to feel him wrapped around me, taste his lips on mine, hear his panting voice whisper his love...hear his moans as I brought him the pleasure that only I could while he did the same for me.

Our kisses were slow but insistent as my hands made their way up his chest and began working on the buttons of his shirt. He moaned into our kiss, sensing both my agreement and my desire for him, and he began to undress me as well. Our movements were reverent, lips following hands as we kissed and caressed. We moved toward the bedroom in silence. We didn't need words to express our thoughts...all was made clear through the looks we exchanged and the worship each of us gave the other's body.

Standing just beside our bed, I slipped the shirt from his shoulders and kissed along his collarbone. His hands had fallen to his sides, his head tilted back as he let me silently say what I needed to say. I kissed down his sternum, pausing at the angry bruise along his side, and my fingers trailed lightly over it as my heart ached for him. My lips caressed his ribs softly as I felt his fingers lace through my hair. His nails gently scratched my scalp, and I lifted my head again.

He pushed my shirt off my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor with his, but when he bent to kiss my chest, he gasped, his hand pressing against his side. He straightened gingerly, trying to hide the pain on his face as he breathed shallowly.

My eyes whispered their apologies as we watched each other, and he shook his head. "Don't," he murmured just before his lips met mine in a soft kiss. "Just you and me," he breathed against my lips, and I nodded, forcing it all away again.

For a while, I found myself watching every move carefully, worried I was going to hurt him, but as we continued to kiss, our hands ghosting over sensitive skin as we undressed each other, I gave myself over to the sensations of being with this man I loved. Placing one more kiss on my lips, Jasper took my hand and turned back the covers on the bed, sliding between the sheets. He pulled me down beside him, and I rolled onto my side, placing a hand lightly on his chest as our lips moved together. My hand drifted downward, and when I felt the drop of wetness on my skin as my hand brushed against his erection, I moaned loudly, stretching up to deepen our kiss.

I was keenly aware of Jasper's hand as it left my waist before his warm fingers wrapped around my aching length. I had been so focused on him that I hadn't even fully realized how enthusiastically my own body was responding. We hadn't made love since Friday morning - we hadn't even come close to it - and even though only a few short days had passed, so much had happened that it seemed like months. Years.

Jasper really was right...we did need this. We needed _us_.

The battle that had been raging in the back of my mind quieted, calm taking its place as I stopped doing this _for_ him and started acting _with_ him. I was still careful, but it wasn't my total focus anymore, and I wasn't trying to bring pleasure to him only. This was about both of us...he needed for me to enjoy this, to feel this just as strongly as he did.  
**  
**And so did I.  
**  
**As Jasper began to stroke me slowly, I shifted, moving to hover above him as my lips found his chest, my tongue teasing his nipple. He sighed softly and arched his back as his hips shifted, his hard-on pressing against my thigh. I backed down the bed, forcing him to let me go as I kissed my way down his abdomen. I paused a moment at his navel, smiling against his skin when he squirmed beneath me as I teased his belly button with the tip of my tongue and blew on it lightly. His hips rocked again, a sense of urgency behind his movements this time, and I licked my lips as I lowered my head still further.

I took him in hand, raising my eyes to see his reaction. He had stacked both our pillows and was reclining against them, watching me as his hand lifted to lace in my hair. I squeezed him as my hand moved up and down, and I had the satisfaction of hearing a soft, "Oh god..." as his eyes fluttered closed. He inhaled audibly, his fingers tightening in my hair, and when I placed a small kiss on his head, his eyes popped open again so he could watch me.

I threw myself into pleasuring him, my tongue and lips caressing and teasing his length as I took him deeply into my mouth. I heard his whispered words, curses and encouragement alike falling to my ears as his fingers roamed my head, my neck, my shoulders...everywhere he could reach. I felt him growing harder between my lips and moaned quietly, my hips moving automatically as I sought some sort of relief from the pressure building within me.

His grunt reached me through the haze of desire I felt, and my eyes snapped to him, finding him bending forward slightly as he tried to reach me. I could tell he was trying to pull me to him as he worked to hide the grimace of pain on his face, so I released him, placing one final kiss on his head as I made my way to him. Neither of us spoke as I trailed kisses along his ribs, nibbling his neck before I settled the weight of my hips on his. We moaned as one, and Jasper's hands slid over my hips to cup my ass as I braced my hands against the mattress to keep my weight off his upper body.

"Edward..." he breathed, the sound awakening a fierce feeling in me - love and protectiveness and desire all rolled into one emotion I'd never felt so strongly. I lowered my lips to his, kissing him soundly until we were both panting. All the while, his hips were moving against mine, the rhythm of my own guided by his hands kneading my flesh.

I broke our kiss, resting my forehead against his with my eyes closed as I memorized the way his body felt beneath mine, the way his staccato breathing drifted over my skin. Opening my eyes, I found him watching me and offered him a small smile. I was going to ask him if he was sure, but the warning look in his eyes changed my question, and I whispered, "Are you ready?"

His grin was crooked and perfect, prompting my own when he murmured, "I've been ready, darlin'..."

I kissed him lightly and then moved away, reaching into my nightstand for the items we would need. Jasper's hands brushed mine away as he took the condom from me, slipping it on me. My eyes rolled back in my head as he stroked me the way he knew I liked, and I heard the tell-tale snap of the bottle of lube as he coated my length. I opened my eyes, taking the bottle from him so I could prepare him as well. When I hovered over him once more, my eyes followed my hand as I reached between us, but his left hand cupped my cheek, and I looked up at him.

"I love you." His voice was soft, barely audible, but strong, and there was a finality to it that made my heart swell as I whispered my love for him.

I was looking into his blue-green eyes when I guided myself into him, moving slowly, inch by inch, as my fear of hurting him returned. I tried not to let it show, but he saw it on my face, and his thumb caressed my cheek as he reassured me. "I'm fine..." I couldn't help but smile as his eyes rolled back as he moaned when I pressed further into him. "God, Edward..." His hips lifted from the bed, and I bit my bottom lip against my groan as I was fully buried within him.

Our bodies felt so right, so perfect, joined this way, and as we moved together, I saw the light begin to shine in his eyes - that mix of playful and loving and just..._Jasper_. I grinned, nipping at his jaw as his fingertips dug into my hips. He growled at me, a low, rumbling sound that carried his words to my ear. "You feel fucking amazing..."

I kissed him then, losing myself in the feeling of his lips on mine, his body writhing beneath me. I was vaguely aware that his movements were stilted and more reserved than normal, but the moans and whimpers passing his lips were sounds of pure pleasure, so I wrapped my hand around his hard cock, the lube helping my fingers glide smoothly along his shaft as I pumped into him. We were both tensing, our muscles clenching as we fought to hold off our releases, but I just wanted Jasper to feel good.

"Let go, baby...I'm coming with you, I promise...be with me, Jazz..._please_..." I murmured a steady stream of encouragement as he pressed his head back against the pillows, his eyes closing. I glanced down between us, a breathless "Fuck" escaping me when I saw his cock twitch as I stroked him. The sight of his legs wrapped around me was my undoing, and I grunted, gasping as I shuddered. My body seemed to tingle with the force of my orgasm, and I felt the heat of Jasper's release spilling across my chest.

I raised my eyes just in time to see him open his, and I watched as his throat worked for a moment, though I couldn't tell if he was trying to speak or swallow. Finally, he blinked several times and put his hand on the back of my head, pulling me to him so quickly that our lips crashed together painfully. I felt a jab of alarm, but I returned his kiss just as passionately, and when we parted, his eyes were shimmering.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice choked.

I licked my lips, unable to speak for a moment as I nodded, giving him a small smile. I brushed his lips with mine tenderly, murmuring against them, "Thank you."

* * *

A/N: I wanted to thank each and every one of you for sticking with these boys as you have, and for leaving reviews. I read every single one, and I wish I had the time to reply to you all. It means a lot to me to know you care though, so I didn't want it to go unacknowledged.

On another note, Marked has been nominated for the Golden Lemon Awards for best slash. Both SorceressCirce and I are thrilled about being up for it (hehe, TWHS). You can go here to vote: http://www (dot) goldenlemonawards (dot) com/

The Twislash Unveiled Slash contest is going strong. You can still enter your boy-lovin' until February 28th! Keep 'em comin', I know you want to ;-). http://www (dot)fanfiction (dot) net/u/1945699/TwiSlash_Unveiled

And finally, I'm a judge for the FMLcontest that's going on. If you received a prompt, be sure to send in your story by February 15th. You can do so here: http://www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/~fmlcontest


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Thanks to SorceressCirce for being my beta-fish and for getting this chapter beta'd on short notice.**

**I still don't own Twilight. These boys still insist they own me - and I'm not arguing that fact ^_~**

**Important A/N at the bottom, **_**make sure to read it!**_

* * *

_I raised my eyes just in time to see him open his, and I watched as his throat worked for a moment, though I couldn't tell if he was trying to speak or , he blinked several times and put his hand on the back of my head, pulling me to him so quickly that our lips crashed together painfully. I felt a jab of alarm, but I returned his kiss just as passionately, and when we parted, his eyes were shimmering._

_"Thank you," he whispered, his voice choked._

_I licked my lips, unable to speak for a moment as I nodded, giving him a small smile.I brushed his lips with mine tenderly, murmuring against them, "Thank you."_

* * *

**JPOV**

I stared at the phone in my hands, wondering once again if I should try and call Momma or not. Edward had left for work an hour ago, after I assured him that I would be alright on my own. With a sigh, I tilted my head back against the couch, looking up at the ceiling as my mind wandered to the conversation Esme and I had the day before. I hadn't been certain about having her in the house all day, but in the end I had been very grateful for her presence.

She hadn't pushed me - too much anyway - and eventually we had sat down and talked about what had happened. I'd told her everything - from talking to Momma and asking if we could all get together with the intent to come out to them, to the week spent with Edward and how it had made me feel to be more open when we were out in public, to Bella's party and then going to the club afterward.

Esme had sat quietly next to me on the couch, listening to everything and letting me get it all off my chest. When I had gotten to the part where I had been beaten up, she had inhaled sharply and grabbed my hand in both of hers, but made no further move. I'd appreciated the fact that she didn't interrupt. Once I was talking, I just wanted to get through it without pause - though I welcomed the comfort she gave. I told her what those men had said, what they had done to me. As I was describing it to her, my free hand automatically moved to hug my ribs, and I felt Esme squeeze my hand lightly.

I explained that I didn't really remember much about how it all ended, being too focused on Edward and trying to figure out how my friends had known. When I said that I had been more worried about him than about myself at that point, I caught her smile as she shook her head slightly. I quirked a brow at her, but she remained quiet, allowing me to continue.

I told her about everything that had happened in the ER, about apologizing to Bella and how she had reacted to that. How everyone had stayed with us, supporting us and wanting to make sure we were all okay.

And then I told her about Momma and Daddy showing up and everything that followed. That was the moment where I could no longer hold my emotions in check and my tears had started to fall. Esme had let go of my hand then, only to scoot up next to me and pull me into her embrace. She held me as I repeated the words my father had spoken and when I told her how my mother had simply been unable to even look at me.

A small part of me wondered why I felt detached as I was relaying all of this to Esme. Even though I was crying and hurting over it, it was almost as if I were doing so for someone else. I still could not believe that Momma had turned away from me the way she had, not after the conversation she and I had had before they left for Houston. And Daddy...his words had hurt so much. The disgust on his face still haunted me. The utter hate in his eyes...hate that was now directed at _me_.

I just couldn't comprehend it.

_Esme held me for a few minutes after I stopped talking, rubbing my back gently as I struggled to calm down. When I did, she pulled away, only to take my hand in hers again. She placed her right hand on my cheek, wiping away some of the tears as she looked at me._

_"Jasper, honey, I'm so sorry. If there was any way for me to take everything that happened away, I would do so in a heartbeat."_

_I nodded. She wasn't the first to have made that statement, and I knew she meant well, but it felt somewhat hollow all the same. _I _felt somewhat hollow. She sighed softly and seemed to be mulling over something._

_"Jasper...have you considered that perhaps your mother didn't turn away from _you_, as much as she might have anticipated her husband's reaction and couldn't face what she knew was coming?"_

_I stared at Esme as I let her words sink in. I hadn't thought of it that way. If she was right, then that would mean there was still a chance that I hadn't lost her. I frowned, looking down at my hands as I tried not to get my hopes up. Even if Esme was correct, there was still my father. He had made _his _opinions very clear - and I knew that Momma had never gone against him._

_I wasn't sure if she ever would - or even _could_._

_When I didn't say anything, Esme squeezed my hand, her voice soft as she spoke again. "Don't give up hope just yet, sweetheart. Give her some time to come to terms with this new knowledge."_

_I nodded again and thanked her for being there. She hugged me tight and said both she and Carlisle always would be. I excused myself after that, exhausted from all the emotions our talk had evoked in me and needing some time alone to process everything._

I had ended up falling asleep for several hours, and when I woke up, Rosalie was there. She and Esme seemed to get along famously, and it made me happy to see the two of them together. As I had walked closer, I was relieved to hear they were gossiping about Emmett, and not about everything that had happened.

After my talk with Esme, I was done trying to figure things out. I didn't want to think about it anymore. Esme was right. If Momma had reacted because of what was coming, and not because of me, then she would - hopefully - come to terms with things and maybe contact me. If it was due to finding out about Edward and me, well... Either way, there was nothing I could do. I just had to wait.

Thankfully, Rose and Esme kept the conversations away from anything that had to do with my situation, and after a while, it had actually felt...normal. I was able to let some of the things go, at least for the time being.

When Carlisle arrived, he took me aside for a moment. He hugged me, saying that he was glad I wasn't hurt too badly. He wanted me to know that if ever I needed to talk, he would be there for me. He also asked me if I thought it might be a good idea for him to talk to my father, since he had been in his place once. I told him I doubted it would do any good, and that for the time being it was probably better to let sleeping dogs lie. If there was still a chance Momma might turn around, I didn't want to make things any more difficult than they already were.

Still, I appreciated the sentiment and had told him as much. After our talk, I had gone to help Esme and Rosalie cook dinner. Rose had teased me about the dinner she had help me make for Edward, and I ended up telling Carlisle and Esme about it...well, in general terms, at least. It felt a little weird to talk about Edward and me to his parents or even my sister, but none of them seemed to have issue with it. Everyone was just relaxed and joking comfortably.

It had felt good to laugh - I hadn't laughed since Bella's party. It almost made me feel as if life were normal again, and I was able to push away everything else for a while. When Edward had come home and we'd kissed, I had felt lighter than I had in days.

I was actually glad that the others had hung around for a few hours, allowing me to soak up some sense of normalcy again, but before long, I just needed to be with Edward. I hadn't had contact with him during the day - as had become our habit - and I found myself craving him. I'd teased him a little, letting my fingers brush against him as I talked to Carlisle about history.

When everyone had left, I was both exhausted and relieved to be with Edward. I was sure he felt the same way as he wrapped me in his arms. Being there, I felt myself relax more, and breathing his scent both soothed and excited me. He was my home, my heart, and I needed to be able to both express that and feel it from him.

At first he was reluctant - I knew he was afraid he would hurt me again - but eventually he was able to let go. Making love hurt, but it had felt so good to find _us _again that I didn't care. Afterward, I'd fallen asleep in his arms. I hadn't woken up once.

I sighed deeply as I looked back down at my phone. I scrolled through the menu and stared at the entry _"Home"_ for several minutes, having to hit a button to re-activate the screen. I knew Daddy would be at work at this hour, but I wasn't sure if I should call or not. I wanted to talk to Momma, needed to know if she hated me as much as he did now, but at the same time, I was scared to know the answer.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I hit the _call _button and put the phone to my ear, holding my breath as it kept ringing. I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted anyone to pick up. After seven rings, the phone kicked over to the answering machine, but I couldn't bring myself to hang up.

_"Hi, you've reached the Hale residence. We're unable to answer your call right now..."_

As I listened to Momma's voice finish delivering the standard message, I felt the tears streaking down my face. When the beep came, I hung up and rested my head back against the couch again, my heart aching at the thought that she had been home but unwilling to talk to me.

_You don't know that. She could have been out of the house for all you know._

Wiping the tears away roughly, I put the phone on the table, determined not to call again. At least not today.

I picked up my laptop from the coffee table, pulling it back into my lap. I had e-mailed my teachers first thing in the morning to let them know what had happened. I'd felt a little strange writing to my professors about my sexual orientation, but as the police had explained that I would likely be needed for court appearances and the like, I'd thought it best to be up front. By noon, I'd heard from each of them, and their responses ranged from strictly businesslike to sympathetic, but each of them had asked to be kept informed. They'd also let me know that they would be willing to give extensions if I needed them, as long as I kept in touch.

I was hoping to get some work done, but after struggling for about an hour, I gave up. I remembered that I hadn't logged in to my instant messenger yet and opened it up, typing in my password. As soon as I was online, Edward messaged me, wanting to know how I was doing. I felt a brief moment of exasperation, and I had to remind myself that though this was happening to _me_, it also affected _him_.

I reassured him that I was alright, and then we talked for a bit about nothing in particular. I didn't tell him about trying to call my mother, knowing that it would only serve to worry him.

When he had to get back to work, I set about cleaning the apartment - not that it needed it, as I had cleaned it thoroughly before Bella's party. As I worked, I studiously ignored the boxes and luggage that held my things - I wasn't ready to deal with those just yet. Besides, I wasn't sure what to do with them, where to put it all, so I thought it was better to wait for Edward to be home before going through it. Once I couldn't find anything else that needed dusting or polishing - an exercise that took a longer than it should have - I decided to go take a shower. My ribs were hurting from the exertion, and it was beginning to piss me off.

I was in the shower for a lot longer than usual, allowing the warm water to soothe my aching muscles and wash away some of the gloom that wanted to settle on me. At least, I tried to. I had only just gotten dressed in lounge pants and a t-shirt when I heard the front door open.

I ran my fingers through my wet locks as I made my way to the living room. When I saw Edward putting down what looked to be a pizza box, I wasn't sure if I felt relieved to not have to cook or annoyed that he didn't seem to feel I was capable. He smiled at me as he looked up, his eyes darkening a little as they flitted over my body. I couldn't help the crooked grin that formed as I saw the desire on his face. _Maybe pizza isn't so bad after all._

He walked up to me, wrapping his arms lightly around my waist as he pulled me closer. His eyes were on mine as he leaned in and kissed me tenderly. Slipping my own arms around his waist, I sighed softly into the kiss as I returned it. I didn't think I would ever get enough of kissing Edward - of being with him.

He pulled back slightly, still smiling as he raised a hand to push my hair out of my face. He murmured softly, "You look so damn sexy."

I rolled my eyes at him, grinning. He chuckled, pecking my lips before pulling me to the table.

"What? You do, baby. Deal with it."

He pulled out a chair for me and waited for me to sit down before going into the kitchen.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever..." I lowered my voice as I added, "Not as sexy as you in a suit..."

He laughed, and I heard the fridge door open as he said, "I heard that!"

He came back with a couple of beers, handing me one as he sat down kitty corner from me. "I thought pizza might be nice. Didn't feel like cooking or cleaning tonight." He glanced at me with a soft smile, adding, "I just wanted to be able to relax with you tonight. Hope that's okay?"

My eyes searched his, trying to gauge his sincerity as part of me still felt like he was trying to coddle me. I found no trace of it, though, so I smiled and nodded. "Of course. Did you have anything in particular in mind?"

He shook his head as he opened the box, grabbing a slice of all-meat pizza, saying, "Nope, maybe watch a movie or something?" before taking a bite.

"Sure, sounds good."

We talked a little about how his day had gone, and he mentioned that they would be installing a new program tomorrow. He wasn't sure if he would be able to log on at all, since he would have to check every computer they had and troubleshoot if needed.

We had just finished eating when his eyes lit up and he said, "Oh! I completely forgot to tell you yesterday..."

I sat back, frowning at him. "Tell me what?"

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table as he explained what had happened before class, how Jessica had insisted he give me a hug - which he actually got up to do, stating that he didn't want to be remiss on his promise to the girl - and what her mother had told him after that. I was stunned and admittedly a little embarrassed to have been caught by one of our students. Still, it felt nice to hear the words of acceptance.

His face grew more serious when he went on to tell me about training afterward. His eyes were intent on mine as he conveyed the sentiments of the entire team, how they all had said that they were behind us a hundred percent. I felt my face harden as I listened to him. I hadn't gone to training yesterday for obvious reasons, but also because I had been afraid to face everyone. They had all been privy to what had happened in the ER, and I was still mortified by it. I had worried that they would just feel sorry for me, and I couldn't handle the idea of being faced with all their sympathetic looks. What Edward was telling me, though, was that they were worried and sympathetic, but also outraged on my behalf - on _our _behalf.

I blushed at the realization that I had sold them short, and I hated the fact that I had. I looked down at my hands, trying hard to keep my emotions in check - I did _not _want to cry...again. I was sick of it.

Edward put his hand over mine, squeezing it lightly. I raised my eyes to his with a sigh and saw that the small smile on his face didn't quite reach his eyes.

"They're all there for you, Jazz, for both of us. They know what happened, and they understand why you weren't there yesterday."

I frowned, lowering my eyes again as I thought about that. Coming to a decision, I looked up at him again. "Can you pick me up tomorrow?"

He frowned, shaking his head. "No, I can't. I have to go straight from the office to the club tomorrow...sorry. I'm going to be cutting it close as is. Besides, you probably shouldn't be training yet, anyway."

I pulled my hands out from under his, sitting back against the chair as I scowled at him. "Don't...I want to be there, Edward."

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair as he watched me. "I don't think you've healed enough to be able to do it, Jasper. I don't want you to make things worse..."

I just shook my head, got up, and cleared the table. I wasn't willing to argue about it. As I put everything away where it was supposed to be - which wasn't much, since it was just the empty box and beer bottles - I took a moment to take a few deep breaths in order to calm down. The last thing I wanted to do tonight was get into a fight, or make Edward worry more than he did already.

Once I felt I had enough control over my emotions again, I grabbed another beer for Edward and a bottle of water for me - I wasn't in the mood for more alcohol. When I walked back into the dining room, Edward was still sitting at the table, his arms resting on the surface as he held his head in his hands with his shoulders hunched like they were the other day.

I sighed softly as I walked up behind him, placing the beer bottle in front of him as I leaned down just enough so I could kiss the crown of his head as I did my best to ignore the way my ribs protested against the movement. I murmured softly, "Come on, what movie did you want to watch?" before pressing my lips into his hair again and straightening up, holding my hand out to him.

He sat up slowly, watching me warily for a moment as if waiting for me to do...something. I tilted my head toward the living room, giving him a half-smile, which he returned. After a moment or two, he let out a slow breath and stood up, taking my hand in one, his beer in the other as he walked to the couch.

He put his beer down on the coffee table and grabbed my bottle, placing it next to his. Taking my other hand in his, he pulled me to him, resting his forehead against mine. "I'm sorry..."

I shook my head and kissed him gently, cutting him off. "Don't. Please? Let's just watch a movie. I don't want to think about it right now. Please, Edward?"

He released my hand with a soft sigh as he caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers. "Alright, Jasper."

He had me sit down as he went to put in _X-Men_ after going back and forth for a while. He took his usual spot on the couch but stretched his leg across the length of it behind my back and opened his arms to me with a soft smile. As soon as I was settled against him, his arms were around me, and he kissed my temple, whispering, "I love you."

I turned my head so I could kiss him briefly, murmuring my love for him against his lips before relaxing into him and watching the movie. I tried to enjoy it and to just be with Edward, but my mind would simply not shut down, so I did my best to keep him from noticing. He didn't say anything the rest of the night, so I was hopeful that I had been somewhat successful at least.

We went to bed once the movie was over - I was surprisingly tired after the day I'd had, though I felt more emotionally drained than physically.

The alarm woke me the next day, and I groaned, muttering for Edward to shut the damned thing off without even opening my eyes. I hadn't slept well again, having woken up a couple of times from nightmares that I didn't want to think about. Edward shut off the infernal noise and turned to me, kissing my temple as he whispered for me to go back to sleep. I was out again before I even felt him leave the bed.

When I finally woke up, I frowned when I saw that it was almost noon already. I had never in my life slept in that late before. My stomach growled, letting me know that it was definitely time to get up, so I put on my lounge pants again and padded into the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal. I wasn't in the mood to do anything more.

After washing the bowl and spoon and putting them in the rack, I decided to try and do some homework. I grabbed my laptop, settled down on the couch, and logged on to my instant messenger. Edward was on, but on idle, so I just shot him a message saying hello - there was no response, not that I had expected one. I signed in to my account for school to check on my classes, but after staring at the screen for half an hour, I gave up. I just couldn't focus.

I checked to see that Edward's status was still on idle before putting the laptop down on the coffee table. I felt restless, edgy. My phone was on the side table, and as soon as my eyes landed on it, I knew I had to try calling Momma again.

This time, the phone rang twice when I heard someone pick up on the other end, though no one spoke. I took a shuddering breath as I closed my eyes, praying that Esme was right. My voice wavered as I said, "Momma?"

Nothing. The only thing I could hear was someone breathing unevenly.

"Momma, please...please talk to me. I'm sorry..."

I didn't know what else to say. What _could _I say? I just knew I had to say _something_, had to try and make this right, though somewhere deep down I knew I hadn't done anything wrong.

Still nothing, just more labored breathing, though I thought I heard a soft cry, too. It broke my heart to think that she was crying because of me.

_Maybe Esme was wrong. Maybe Momma really _is _ashamed of me...why else wouldn't she be talking?_

"Momma, please say something...anything..."

This time I could hear her crying clearly as she whispered,_ "Don't call again."_

_Anything but that. Momma, no..._

I hunched forward, my free hand fisted over my heart as I fought to keep my own tears from falling.

There was a brief pause before she hung up, though I thought I heard her whisper, _"I love you, son," _before the line went dead. I wasn't sure because by that point, my tears had started for real as I felt my heart break all over again. I let my phone fall from my fingers as I slid back on the couch and curled into a ball, crying.

I had no idea how much time passed as I tried to pull myself together again. Part of me felt like just crawling to bed and hiding. Another part needed a physical release. I glanced at the clock finally and saw it was already two o'clock. Sitting up, I pulled my laptop to me, and once it was out of sleep-mode, I checked to see if Edward had gotten back to me yet. Apparently he had, as there was a message waiting for me, but all it said was that he was sorry to have missed me but that he had no time to talk.

_Great_. I rubbed my face, trying to ease some of the frustration that was building inside.

_I need to go to practice, need to do _something_._

**Jazzman**: Edward, I know you're busy...please, could you swing by and pick me up? I really want to go to practice. I _need _to go. I can be ready and waiting for you, just...

I stopped myself, irritated that I was practically begging him to let me go. I watched the screen for several minutes, hoping for an answer and getting edgier the longer it took to get one. A small part of me realized that this wasn't like me, but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

After checking my e-mail and catching up on the news, I went to get my things together. I had just put a couple of towels in my bag when the phone rang. I hurried to answer it, frowning when I realized I wasn't sure how to answer since it was the house phone. We hadn't exactly discussed any of the finer details of living together. So I opted for a simple, "Hello?"

_"Hey, Jazz."_ He sounded a bit stressed, even with just that short greeting, and I fleetingly wondered how badly his day was going.

"Hey..."

He sighed, and I could imagine him running his fingers through his hair as he spoke. _"Baby, I'm sorry. I really _can't _swing by. Hell, at this point I don't even know if I'll be able to leave in time for class. I've called Bella already; she's going to be there in case I can't make it."_

I frowned. _Why the hell did he call her and not me? I'm the one that subbed for him when he was gone..._

I tried to keep my voice level. "Bella? I didn't know she taught swimming, too."

_"Yeah, she helped out for a while before you moved here. She just doesn't have time to do it anymore, at least not three days a week. Anyway...hang on a second, would you?"_

I heard muffled voices on the other end, and then I heard the clicking of a keyboard. After about a minute, Edward came back on the line.

_"Sorry about that...it's kinda crazy here today."_ He sighed, and I could hear something creak in the background - presumably his chair as he sat back in it. _"Baby, I really don't think you should be trying to practice just yet. You need to give yourself more time to heal..."_

I bit back a growl as I pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes in frustration. I managed to keep my flaring temper in check enough to pick up that someone had come into his office again. "Fine, whatever, Edward. Sounds like you're busy, so I'll let you go."

I didn't even give him a chance to respond as I hung up and put the phone back in its place.

"Fuck!"

Frustrated, I walked back to the couch and glanced at my laptop. Edward had left a message, but I was too angry to even want to see it. I closed my laptop with a snap, probably a lot harder than was wise.

I grabbed my phone, considering my options. I wanted to go to training, I knew that much. Edward had said Bella would go to teach our class, so I knew she was heading in. But I wasn't ready to deal with the kids yet, and I was sure she would talk to Edward if I called her, since she would know that he hadn't intended for me to even be at the club today. So she was out.

_Emmett! _I scrolled through my contacts until I found his number. He had said to call if I needed anything. Well, I needed a ride, and I was hoping he would give me one.

He picked up on the third ring. _"McCarty speaking."_

"Hey Emmett, it's Jasper."

_"Hey man, what's up?"_

I bit my lip, wondering for a split second if I really wanted to do this.

_Yes, I do._

"Not much. Was wondering if I could get you to swing by here to pick me up for training today? Edward's busy at work and says he's not sure he'll be able to get away on time."

_"Yeah, sure, shouldn't be a problem. You sure you're up for it, bro?"_

My jaw clenched as I tried to keep from snapping at him. "I'm sure. I need to get out of the house for a while."

_"Alright man. I'll be there. Be ready to roll at four thirty, okay?"_

"Okay. Thanks, Em."

_"No problem. See you later."_

After we hung up, I went to get dressed as I had been in my lounge pants since I woke up. Once I had proper clothes on, I double checked I had everything in my bag and placed it by the door so I would be ready to go as soon as Emmett showed up. I still had some time to kill, so I put in the first disc of season one of _Stargate SG-1_, since I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate on reading.

I had made sure to set my alarm for a few minutes before four thirty. The second episode was midway through when it went off, which didn't bother me too much as I had already seen the series anyway.

Emmett was pulling in front of the building right as I stepped through the door. He grinned at me as I got in the car. "Nice timing."

I chuckled. "Thanks for picking me up."

We got to the swimming hall with a few minutes to spare. I took my time getting showered and changed, not wanting to disrupt the class. When the whistle blew to indicate it was over, I was just walking into the hall. A few of the kids waved at me, and I smiled and waved back. I glanced over at Bella but didn't let my eyes linger on her when I saw the strange look on her face.

Instead, I put my flip flops to the side and pulled my shirt off, tossing it aside before sliding into the water. It felt good to be immersed again, and I allowed myself to float for a while. The change in pressure to my body was a welcome one, and I felt myself begin to relax for the first time that day.

I heard the rest of the team milling around, some on the side and some going into the pool like I had. I tried to ignore them, not quite ready to face reality just yet. After a minute or two, I felt someone nudge my shoulder, and I opened my eyes to see Emmett next to me. I'd floated into the deep end, so I had to tread water to keep from going under as I asked him what was up. He was frowning, and he nodded toward the side in answer.

Following his gaze, I saw Edward standing at the e,dge of the pool, one hand on his hip, the other lodged in his hair as he looked at me. His jaw clenched a few times, and I wondered if he was going to say anything. He just shook his head with a look of disappointment on his face before he jumped in and swam to me.

His voice was low as he said, "You shouldn't be here, Jasper. Please, sit this out."

His eyes held a pained expression as he waited for a response. I shook my head determinedly. "I need to be here; I need to do _something_, Edward. I'm fine."

He muttered under his breath for a moment, then turned to Emmett. "Goal, Emmett."

Emmett frowned at Edward, then looked to me as if wondering what the hell was going on before he swam to goal. Without turning around, Edward called out. "Alice, bring a ball."

When Alice swam up to us, she looked questioningly from me to Edward. His eyes remained on me as he said, "Alice, I need you to defend the goal. Don't let Jasper get past you."

She nodded, leaving the ball with Edward as she swam to take up her position. Edward still hadn't looked away from me, his face hard though his eyes betrayed some of the emotions going through him.

He lowered his voice again. "You want to prove you can do this? Is that it, Jasper? Prove that you're _fine_, like you keep telling me? Alright then."

He swam a few feet from me, taking the ball with him as he went. He raised his voice enough so I could hear him clearly, tossing the ball hard to me as he spoke. Catching it, I tried to keep from wincing. "Score a goal, Jasper. I want you pump-fake twice, and then hit your mark. Do it."

I gave a tight nod, partially out of stubbornness because I was already starting to hurt from having tread water the entire time and partially because I was getting pissed off. I could feel the eyes of the rest of the team on me, and I hated it, so I tried to ignore them.

I focused instead on what Edward told me to do. I had to get past Alice to get close enough to goal to try and score. I knew why he had chosen her - she was one of our fastest swimmers and determined as hell when put to the task of keeping someone from scoring. It took several tries before I was able to find an opening, and when I tried to pump-fake, I gasped and dropped the ball, feeling as if I was being pummeled in the ribs again.

Edward was by my side in an instant. "Jasper, would you _please _let yourself heal before you hurt yourself worse?"

I glowered at him, still stubbornly refusing to give in. I might not be able to do everything, but damnit I could still do _something_. I could defend, help the others with their throws, anything!

His eyes blazed and his nostrils flared as he hit the water with his hand. His voice was tight and harsh as he spat out, "Goddamnit, Jasper! If you won't listen to me as your boyfriend, you damn well better listen to me as your team captain! You. Are. Benched. Get out of the pool and don't come back until you're healed! I will not allow you to hurt yourself for a game. And I will not allow you to do anything to harm the team. Now _go_!"

For a split second, I was frozen on the spot - so to speak, at least. I couldn't believe that he was doing this. When I didn't make any move to leave, he added, "_Don't_ make me kick you off the team, because if that's what it takes to get you to listen, I will. Please, Jasper..."

_He would do that? He'd kick me off just to prove his point?_ My eyes searched his for answers, and what I found told me that yes, he would definitely follow through on that. Without a word, I swam to the shallow end and took the steps to get out of the pool, not trusting that I would be able to pull myself out of the water as I normally did.

No one spoke. No one approached me. The few faces I saw all held shock and disbelief, though whether that was because I had even shown up, or because Edward was throwing me out of the pool, I didn't know. Nor did I care. I just wanted to get the hell away from them all.

My ears seemed to be ringing with his words, as if they were being played on a loop, and they just fueled my anger as I gathered my things and stormed off to the dressing room - I was livid. The only sounds to penetrate my mind was Edward's "Goddamnit," followed by a ball hitting a wall hard and bouncing along the ground.

_**A/N: **__After giving this much thought, I have decided that since my stories do not conform to the ffnet Terms of Service, I will be pulling them. __**Don't panic!**__ You will still be able to read them, and they will most definitely still be finished. All my stories will be up on my blog __**( )**__ and will be up on twilighted__**( . ?uid=10819)**__ as well. Any additional stories and chapters will appear in those two places. To help with the move and to make sure I have everything in order and ready to go, I am going to take a short break from posting (with the exception of one story, which will post __**Saturday **__on the blog) so that everything will run smoothly._

_My profile will hold the links to both sites. I'm in the process of getting Twilighted caught up to everything, and SorceressCirce is graciously helping me get my blog set up and decked out. I will, as always, continue to post links to updates on Twitter and in the threads, so if you follow me on either of those you won't miss an update. Also, you can subscribe to the blog and get an RSS feed._

_With the exception of __**Saturday**__, I do not expect to post again until the beginning of March. This chapter was the last to make it to ffnet. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. I hope you all understand and will follow me to the new sites. Oh, and if you follow the blog, you'll get other non-Twilight scribbles from me, as well. (ETA: sorry, I had my days mixed up. I have corrected it now)_

_End of epically long A/N. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I hope to see you all soon!_


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: **Thanks to _**SorceressCirce **_for being my beta-fish and for letting me pick your brain. ^_~

I still don't own Twilight. These boys still insist they own me - and I'm not arguing that fact ^_~

_**EPOV **_

"Damn it...come on; change!" I yelled at the light that had turned red moments before I got to it. I was already running late thanks to work. Just as I'd feared, I hadn't been able to get out in time to go to class - and as it stood now, I wasn't going to be able to get there for training to start.

_At least Bella was able to cover class for me. And Emmett'll start the session if I don't make it on time. _

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration._ I really could do with a good work out after today. Hell, after the last couple of days - work some of the stress out. _

Thankfully, the light changed, and I drove a little faster than I probably should have to the club. Luck seemed to be on my side as I found a place to park near the entrance. Grabbing my bag, I ran inside, showered, changed, and walked into the swimming hall. Bella came up to me with a worried expression.

I smiled at her and said, "Hey Bells, thanks for covering for me...what's wrong?"

She bit her lip, her eyes flickering between me and the pool. I followed her gaze, not immediately seeing what might have her reacting so strangely.

I looked back at her, quirking a brow in question. "Bella?"

She sighed, crossing her arms as she hunched her shoulders a little, a habit she had when she needed to say something she wasn't happy about. "Is it a good idea for Jasper to try to train right now, Edward? Shouldn't he be taking it easy for a few more days?"

_What the hell? What is she talking about?_ My eyes went back to the water, looking more closely at who all was in it. And then I saw him. _Jasper?_

Turning my attention back to Bella, I said, "I have no idea how he got here, Bells. I told him he shouldn't try just yet, but..."

She tilted her head for a moment, then looked back to Jasper. She sighed, shaking her head as she turned her attention to me again. "He's not dealing too well, is he?"

I frowned, my eyes flickering to the blond head floating in the water. _He looks more relaxed than I've seen him in days._I shook my head.

"I don't know..." It bothered me to realize that I really didn't. He had yet to talk about what had happened, how he felt about any of it. To me, anyway.

She stepped up to me, slipping her arms around my waist as my own automatically did the same with her. "How about you?" She asked, looking up at me.

Taking a deep breath, I looked into her eyes, giving her a small smile. "I'm okay, I guess. I'm not the one that's lost everything."

_Yet._

That nagging voice had been growing louder all day - well, ever since last night, really. After dinner, when Jasper had asked me to pick him up today, he had been frustrated when I said I couldn't - and wouldn't. He had left the table, and I had let him, thinking he just needed time and then we could talk. But he never did - and neither did I. I was afraid to push him away further.

It didn't help that I never heard back from Jasper after I called him earlier - not even a response to my IM telling him I loved him. He had just disappeared offline seconds afterward, and I had to admit that it had bugged the hell out of me. I had tried to push it away so I could focus on work, but I'd had a difficult time doing so. It was why I had been looking forward to getting a good work out today - to focus on something else altogether and try to step away from things for a moment.

Bella patted my back, saying she was going to head out since she had to rearrange her schedule in order to cover for me. I hugged her tight for a moment, thanking her again, and then went to the side of the pool.

Standing there, I watched him for a moment. He had yet to notice me, or apparently acknowledge anyone around him. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair, while resting one hand on my hip.  
_  
What am I supposed to do now?_

I saw Emmett swim up to Jasper, nudging him to get his attention. It wasn't until he had motioned to me that Jasper turned to look at me. I felt my jaw clench as I bit back the words that wanted to come out. I wanted to know why he was doing this. Why was he being so stubborn, and not letting his body get the rest it needed in order to heal. It almost seemed as if he was determined to prove that nothing had changed - when everything had.

I jumped in and swam to his side, hoping to talk some sense into him. I kept my voice low in an effort to keep this between us and not embarrass him. "You shouldn't be here, Jasper. Please, sit this out."

_Please just go, Jazz. Don't make this any harder than it already is. I hate that you're hurting, but this isn't the way do deal with this. Not when you're injured. Please, baby..._

He shook his head stubbornly, his eyes held an air of determination and defiance as he said, "I need to be here. I need to do _something_, Edward. I'm fine."

_Fuck! I don't want to do this, baby, but..._

I muttered under my breath, cursing myself for what I was about to do, but he was leaving me no choice. If he didn't want to listen to reason, then I would have to show it to him.

I looked at Emmett, telling him to get in goal. He frowned at me, the look on his face clearly telling me he didn't understand what was going on, but he did as I told him anyway. I turned my attention back to Jasper, who looked a little puzzled but no less determined than before. Not taking my eyes off of him, I called out to Alice to come over with a ball, then directed her to keep Jasper from scoring a goal. I knew she was fast and would do everything in her power to stop him - and she was a formidable adversary when it came to playing the game.

_God forgive me for doing this..._

"You want to prove you can do this? Is that it, Jasper? Prove that you're fine, like you keep telling me? Alright then."

I took the ball Alice had left with me and swam a few feet away from Jasper. I tossed it, with as much strength behind it as I could to prove a point - that's all any of this was...to bring the point home to him that he was in no shape to be in here with us. At least not yet. If I hadn't known Jasper as well as I did and hadn't been paying as close attention to him as I was, I would have missed the wince he tried to hide as he caught the ball.

"Score a goal, Jasper. I want you to pump-fake twice, and then hit your mark. Do it." I challenged him. I knew he wouldn't be able to do it. He simply did not have the range of motion for it at the moment.

He nodded curtly, and I held my breath as I watched him. I could tell he was already having trouble, was already hurting - and yet he kept going. A small part of me had to admire his tenacity, while an even bigger part wanted to throttle him for being so careless with himself.

I knew that by now the whole team was watching what was going on, but I ignored them. My focus was solely on Jasper as he pushed on. The more he tried, the angrier I got. He was hurting himself without any regard to what he was doing to his body. He wasn't thinking about how this affected the team, or how it affected me. I didn't think he even considered how it would affect himself in the long run.

I had to think about how his injuries - as well as his attitude - affected the team as a whole, though. I was team captain for a reason, and I couldn't afford to let his stubbornness hurt them or their chances for Saturday. If I were to allow Jasper to play, we would all be paying more attention to him than we would to our opponents. I couldn't let that happen - and not just for the team. I knew that, should we lose if he played, he would blame himself for it, and that just wasn't something I would stand for.

Jasper finally saw a way past Alice's defense and tried to take the shot, but as he brought up his arm to do the pump-fake as I had instructed him to do, he gasped, dropping the ball as he hunched forward a little. I swam to his side as quickly as I could, my voice pleading. "Jasper, would you _please _let yourself heal before you hurt yourself worse?"

When he didn't respond in any way, something in me snapped.

Why _is he being so stubborn about this? Surely he can see that this isn't working..._

My hand hit the water as I tried to rein in my temper, though by this point I was so mad I wanted to hit something - something with less give than water. It fucking hurt that he was in essence ignoring me - and it pissed me off that he wasn't thinking about any of the others. I knew he knew better, that he cared about them just like I did, so why..?

"God damn it, Jasper! If you won't listen to me as your boyfriend, you damn well better listen to me as your team captain! You. Are. Benched. Get out of the pool and don't come back until you're healed! I will not allow you to hurt yourself for a game. And I will not allow you to do anything to harm the team. Now _go_!"

He just stared at me, still not giving any indication of leaving. I took a deep breath before adding, "_Don't_make me kick you off the team, because if that's what it takes to get you to listen, I will. Please, Jasper..."

I would do it. I hated the thought of having to resort to those tactics, but I would do it if it meant keeping him from hurting himself further.

_Please don't make me do that, Jasper, please. _

His eyes flickered between mine, and I looked right at him. He would find no hesitation from me. I _would _kick him off the team, and he had better realize it. After a few moments, he finally swam to the side. He didn't utter a word, but the look on his face as he turned away from me bespoke murder.

He. Was. Pissed.

I had never seen him like this, and it honestly scared me a little. Not that I was afraid _of _him, but for him - for us. I watched with a sick feeling in my gut as he grabbed his things and stalked off to the locker room. There was no sound as he left.

I wanted to go after him, to talk - to make things right between us again - and I started to swim after him when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to look at Emmett, who shook his head as he said softly, "Let him go."

He was right. I needed to let him go for now and give him space, but that didn't mean I had to like it. Needing to do _something_, I grabbed the ball Jasper had dropped and threw it at the wall, putting everything I had into the throw. "God damn it!"

My back was to the team as I tried to regain my composure. I could feel Emmett hovering right behind me, though he made no move to get my attention or try to tell me everything would be okay - he was just there. I loved him for knowing that I simply needed a moment, needed some space.

I closed my eyes, taking several deep breaths before turning around. The entire team was either sitting on the side of the pool or in the water, watching me. Not a single person said anything. If I had been them, I wasn't sure I would have known what to say - hell, I _didn't_know what to say.

It was Emmett who finally spoke up and snapped us all out of the whatever moment we were in. "Alright, are we going to train, or what? What's everyone waiting for? In the water, let's do some sprints."

His eyes had been on me as he was talking; I nodded my thanks to him. He was right - we needed to train if we were to have any shot at winning this weekend - especially since two of our best players were out of the running. Not to mention, working out my frustration before facing Jasper could only be a good thing.

Training ended up being grueling. I worked everyone hard - myself even harder. My frustrations about what was going on definitely were shining through, but I could not seem to prevent it from happening, and no one made any remarks about it that I could hear. At least not during the session.

As Emmett and I began putting everything away, I overheard Felix mock-whisper to the others, though I only caught part of what he said. "...fucking slavedriver."

I straightened, intending to say something - though I wasn't sure whether it would be an apology or an angry retort - but Emmett placed his hand on my shoulder, saying, "Ignore him, Edward. You know he doesn't mean anything by it."

I turned to Emmett with a frown as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Doesn't he? He's right. I shouldn't have taken out my frustrations on you guys..."

He looked at me for a moment, his own fingers going to his short-cropped hair as well, mimicking my movement. He shrugged and sighed. "Edward...I would've been surprised if you _hadn't_reacted the way you did. And honestly, I'd rather you vent out your anger by working us in training than by doing something stupid. It's okay, man, really. They all understand, even if they'll be belly-aching over sore muscles tomorrow."

He grinned at me and winked, and I couldn't help but chuckle darkly at his observation. Giving a sigh of my own, I nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right..."

We set about putting everything away in silence. I was certain there was more on his mind and didn't doubt he would bring it up before we left. Sure enough, as we were heading out of the locker room, he paused.

"Hey, Ed?"

I looked at him, swinging my bag over my shoulder as I waited for him to continue.

"Are you alright? I mean...after what happened in there?"

The expression on his face told me more than his words did, and I knew he was wondering about Alec and if we were in for a repeat. My eyes darted around the empty locker room, and I idly wondered where Jasper had gone to - I hadn't seen him since he walked out earlier. That, coupled with Emmett's concern, made me feel sick to my stomach.

My eyes found his, and the worry I saw in them caused my throat to tighten up. I had to swallow a few times before I was able to speak, and even then my voice sounded soft - vulnerable.

"I don't know, Emmett. I'm trying so hard not to..." I took a shuddering breath, willing myself to keep calm. "Not to compare this to last time. I'm scared, Em."

I leaned back against the wall, my head resting against it as I kept my eyes on my friend. He'd taken up a similar position next to me as he listened.

"It's too..." I searched for the right words to explain what I was feeling, though I was sure he already knew. He'd been there the last time, after all. "It's all eerily familiar, isn't it?"

"Yeah bro, it is. I'm sorry. He does love you, though."

I nodded, finally having to avert my eyes as I whispered, "Yeah, I know. I love him, too. Question is, is it going to be enough?"

He put his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently. I looked up at him with a sad smile, which he returned. He knew this was hard for me - and I knew that I could count on him to be there. "Thanks, Em."

He grinned, patted my shoulder once, and then tilted his head to the door. "Any time, Copper Top."

I chuckled. Leave it to Emmett to try to lighten the mood.

Emmett and I walked out to the parking lot, talking about the upcoming game, but the entire time I kept looking around for Jasper. _Where the hell is he?_When I got to my car, he wasn't there, and I turned to Emmett. He was frowning, too. I unlocked the car to put my bag away, intending to go back inside to look for Jasper when Emmett tapped me on the shoulder.

His voice was low as I turned to look at him. "Here he comes. Good luck, bro. You know where to find me if you need anything."

With that, he gave me a brief, one-armed hug and walked off. I watched Jasper as he approached the car. He wasn't looking up, his gaze firmly fixed to the pavement, so it was difficult for me to gauge if he was still mad at me. My stomach clenched at the thought of having upset him to the point where he might still be pissed with me. He walked right past me and got into the passenger side of the car without a single word.

I sighed, climbing in as well, and turned to him, intending to say something, but the words died on my lips as I saw him sitting hunched and shifted away from me. I couldn't see his face at all, and I honestly didn't know whether to be hurt by or mad at how he was acting. I started the car and made the drive home in utter silence. It felt like it took much longer than it should have, and I was both relieved and anxious about having made it home. I wasn't sure what the rest of our night would look like at this rate.

Going up to our apartment, he still refused to even acknowledge me, and as soon as I opened the door, he made a beeline to the bedroom, closing the door behind him with more force than necessary.  
_  
Damn it, he's still pissed..._

I stood, watching the door to our bedroom for several minutes, unsure what to do. I felt myself getting angry again and figured it would be best to just give us both space. I put my bag down by the front door and, after grabbing a bottle of water, I sat down behind my piano. As much as I would have liked to have something stronger, I didn't think it was wise to add fuel to the fire, so to speak.

I sat staring at the ebony and ivory keys for a long time. I kept trying to figure out why Jasper was acting the way he was, and I couldn't understand it. The feeling of déjà vu about it all wouldn't be shaken either - and not just with regards to Alec, but in a way to camp, too. I took a long pull from my water before putting the bottle to the side and finally placing my fingers to the keys.

The music that flowed from my fingers was harsh, angry, as I allowed my frustrations the only outlet I could afford at that moment. The more I played, the more my thoughts were able to focus and the more my anger seeped away until I was left feeling more hurt and scared than anything else. It felt as if things were slipping through my fingers, and I didn't know how to keep it from doing so. Not without Jasper helping me, at least - and he wasn't. I knew I couldn't do this on my own.

The tone of the music shifted from anger to melancholy as I allowed myself to be swept away for a few moments. I felt a presence, unseen eyes tickling along the back of my neck, and I looked up from the piano to find Jasper sitting Indian style on the floor in the hallway. His back was against the wall and his eyes were on me. His face was partially hidden in shadow, so it was impossible for me to read his mood.

As I let my fingers rest on the keyboard, he gingerly got to his feet and walked over to me, his eyes never leaving mine as I turned to face him fully. He kneeled in front of me, and I was shocked to find his eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot. He placed his hands on my thighs, his eyes flickering between mine for a moment.

I started to whisper, "Jazz..." but he silenced me by placing two fingers on my lips, shaking his head. He took a couple of steadying breaths before finally speaking up, his voice sounding raw and shaky as he kept saying "I'm sorry," and "I love you," over and over again.

I slid down to the floor as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, feeling his arms go around my waist. I pressed my lips below his ear, murmuring softly, "Shh, Jasper, I love you, too. Shh..." My anger was forgotten as I felt his body shudder.

He finally quieted, and we just sat there for a moment. He tilted his head slightly, and I could feel his breath wash over my neck as he whispered so softly I could barely hear him even with him being so close to my ear. "Please don't leave me..."

I briefly hugged him tighter to me before pulling away so I could look in his eyes. He tucked his chin in, lowering his gaze, so I sank further down - my ass resting on my heels in order to catch his eyes. I cupped his cheek, rubbing my thumb gently over his cheekbone as I sighed. "I won't, baby, but we need to talk..."

The expression in his eyes - a mixture of fear, pain, and sheer vulnerability - almost floored me. The anger that had been there earlier seemed gone, at least for now, but what it left behind was broken.

He grasped my hand, holding it against his face as his eyes darted between mine. I watched as he seemed to war with himself, and I felt helpless. Almost more so now than back behind the club, or in the ER. I didn't know what was going on with him, had no idea what was going through his mind or how he was feeling outside of the things that were immediately obvious - but I knew there _was _more.

He leaned forward slightly, his lips tentatively brushing against mine as he whispered against them, "Please, Edward...please."

His lips became more insistent as his hands came to my face, holding me to him. He pressed his body closer to mine, seeking more contact, and for a moment, I couldn't deny him - my body responding to him of its own accord.

It was with some effort that I managed to pull away, groaning softly when I felt him press harder against me.

"Baby, stop...please."

I covered his hands with mine, gently losening the grip he had on my face. My eyes searched his briefly, my voice soft as I said, "Can we talk? You need to tell me what's going on, Jazz. I don't know what to do here."

He didn't say anything, but the hurt in his eyes seemed to grow. With a sigh, I got to my feet, pulling him up gently before guiding him to the couch. As we sat down, I pulled my leg up and turned to face him, and he mirrored my position - our legs were touching, and I reached for his hand again. I held it in both my own, cradling it as I traced soothing circles on it with my thumbs.

We sat like that for a good five minutes before either of us spoke. Jasper watched our hands intently, his brow furrowed as he chewed on his bottom lip. I was trying to give him some time to sort out his thoughts, but I was beginning to wonder if he would open up to me at all.

Finally, he looked up at me and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. His voice was small when he spoke. "I overheard you talking to Emmett."

I frowned as I wondered where the hell he had been as I had thought the locker room was empty aside from Emmett and me. When I didn't say anything, he continued, "I'm scared, too, Edward. So fucking scared that you'll turn away from me like..." He stopped, averting his gaze again as he kept talking, though his voice had lowered even further. "Is it going to be enough?"  
I closed my eyes briefly as I let out a soft sigh. "Oh, Jazz..." I squeezed his hand, waiting to say more until he looked at me again. "Baby, I want it to be." Lifting his hand to my lips, I placed a soft kiss on his knuckles. "I love you, with all my heart, Jasper. Don't ever doubt that."

He frowned even as he nodded. "But what you said to Emmett..."

"Had no bearing on how much I love you, baby. Or even on how much I know you love me, because I know you do, Jasper. Even with that, I..." I paused with a sigh, wondering how to put into words what I was feeling. I watched him carefully as I tried again. "It's not just what happened with Alec, Jazz. Yes, it's something that's on my mind - more so than I care to admit - but that's only part of it. Jasper...I feel like...like this is camp all over again..."

His brow furrowed as he looked at me with confusion. "I'm here, darlin'...I made my choice."

I ran my fingers through my hair, mildly frustrated with myself for not being able to find the right words. "Jasper, I know you're here with me. Physically, at least. But you've been pulling away from me. Again. Just like back then, when you wouldn't talk to me about what was going on. And it scares me to think that eventually you might do the same thing again and leave. I watched you do it once, baby, and it about killed me. I feel like I'm stuck watching history repeat itself and am powerless to change it because I can't do it alone."

There. I had said it. He sat in silence for a while, his eyes on mine as if trying to figure something out. When he still hadn't said anything after a few minutes, I added quietly, "You can't expect to get different results if you keep doing the same thing, Jasper. It doesn't work that way. I want _us_, baby, so much. But you have to let me in."

His frown deepened before he raised his eyes to the ceiling and let out a humorless chuckle. He sat like that for a few seconds, taking calming breaths. His eyes were shining brightly with emotion and his voice was raw with it when he spoke. He apologized again, telling me the last thing he wanted to do was to push me away - that he needed me. Then he apologized for how he had acted at the swimming hall and asked if he was still on the team.

I rested my arm on the back of the couch and tangled my fingers in my hair as I looked at him. "Yeah, you're still on the team, baby. I'm sorry for putting you through that...you didn't leave me much choice. Will you tell me why you felt you had to prove something? You don't, you know."

He sighed heavily, leaning against the back of the couch as he rested his head on it. I could tell he was still struggling, and I was at a loss as to how to help him. After a minute or two, he finally spoke, though his voice was so low I had to strain to hear him.

"Did your mom tell you about our talk the other day?"

When I shook my head, he continued, "She pointed out that maybe Momma reacted the way she did because of how she knew Daddy'd react."

He frowned as he turned his face away slightly, and I could tell he was trying hard to control his emotions. I shifted, nudging his leg so I could sit closer to him, and wrapped my arm around his shoulder as I coaxed his head to rest on mine. I kissed the top of his head lightly, running my hand up and down his arm in hopes of comforting him.

He murmured a soft, "Thanks," before taking a deep breath. "I started to hope that maybe...maybe she didn't...wouldn't..."

I felt him tense against me as he struggled to regain his composure. When he was able to talk again, he told me how he had called yesterday, but she hadn't answered. How he had left a voice mail asking for her to please call him. How he had tried again today, only to have his mother tell him to not call again.

My heart was aching for Jasper as I pulled him closer. He wrapped his arms around me. He was shaking, and I had no idea what to do to help him. So I just held him, rubbing his back as I tried to calm him, whispering words of love and - hopefully - comfort in his ear.

At least now I understood a little more about why he had acted the way he did, but that didn't make things any easier. I was out of my depth - well and truly - with no way of fixing this situation. I couldn't heal his pain, nor could I undo the damage already done.

We sat like that for a while, Jasper trying to calm down as I tried to figure out what we could - no, what we _needed _to - do. I put a finger under his chin, lifting his face up so I could look in his eyes.

I kissed him lightly on the lips, and I gave him a small smile when I felt him return the kiss. I sighed softly, running my thumb across his jaw as I spoke. "Baby, I think it might be a good idea if...if you saw a counselor. Actually, if we both did. I think this is too big for us to try and deal with on our own, Jazz. What do you say?"

He watched me quietly for a moment, his eyes flickering between my own before he nodded. "I think maybe you're right, darlin'." He lifted his hand to cup my cheek. "I don't want history to repeat itself, Edward. I _want _this to work."

I smiled at him. "Good, because I do, too. I'm willing to fight, Jasper, but not _with _you. But I will do whatever I can _for _you. I love you."

His smile was watery but genuine when he said he loved me, too. I leaned in, kissing him tenderly, and I moaned softly when I felt his tongue brush against my lips. We spent the next however long just making out, neither of us in any hurry for things to go further. It was enough to simply connect with each other again. I knew we were nowhere near where we had been before the party, and I wasn't sure we ever really would be again, but I was certain that - as long as we worked at it together - where we ended up would be so much better.

For now, just being here with him, _really _being with him...it was enough.

A/N:

first off: No, this is not the end of At The Deep End, so just keep calm and don't freak out. These two still have a journey ahead of them.

Secondly: I'm going to try and take a break for a while. Life's been one thing after another again, and I'm making a choice. As you may remember, I used to have a buffer, once upon a time, and I don't anymore. For any of my stories (collabs included). I am going to continue writing, but most likely won't post again until I am back on track and can safely do so without uber long waits between chapters again. Marked and Wish are on schedules and therefore I will keep those going, since SorceressCirce and I work together on those. But my own stories will be on break for the time being.  
I promise, solemnly swear, cross my heart in hope to die...what have you, that I am going to keep writing. I just don't feel right making you wait so long between every chapter, and this is a good place for them to leave at for now. I hope you understand.

Thank you for reading, and for sticking with me.


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